Little Miss
by hottygurl7
Summary: What if they aren't perfect and beautiful? What if they have true physical and behavioral faults? Everyone has their own short comings. Find out what happens when high school idiocy leaves two souls constantly out of reach. High School fic. Little Miss Bella x Pretty Boy Edward. All Human - OOC - Rated M.
1. Chapter 1: Life in a northern town

**Full Summary:**

What if Twilight's cast aren't all cookie cutter specimens? What if they have true physical and behavioral faults? What if they aren't perfect and beautiful? Everyone has their own short comings. Find out what happens when high school idiocy leaves two souls constantly out of reach.

* * *

><p><em>In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.<em>

**-**Coco Chanel** (1883 - 1971)**

* * *

><p>A Salvation Army band played<br>And the children drank lemonade  
>And the morning lasted all day all day<br>And through an open window came  
>Like Sinatra in a younger day<br>Pushing the town away  
>Away<p>

Ah-heya ma ma ma into the night-ahh  
>Hey ma ma ma hey-ay-ay-ay ah<br>Life in a northern town  
>Ah hey ma ma ma ma<p>

They sat on the stony ground  
>And he took a cigarette out<br>And everyone else came down to listen

_-_**_Life in a Northern Town,_ By: Sugarland & Little Big Town**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter one:<strong>

**Life in a Northern Town**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Edward's POV-<strong>_

_I fucking hate mornings_.

There is abso-_fucking_-lutely nothing worth getting up at the ass crack of dawn just to go to school with a bunch of idiots that are so _completely_ lackluster and monotonous. _I should get paid for this shit._ And while I'm collecting my severance, I think I'll punch the dude in the face who decided mornings were an acceptable time to start school. _That fucker._

Why do we need school anyway? I'm already smarter than over half of the kids in my class. I'll get into college. Most likely on a scholarship, but whatever works. Anything to get out of lifeless old Forks, Washington.

My family and I moved here a few years back from Seattle. I miss the city to say the least. I hate this stupid place where everyone knows everyone, and it's practically a sin to be different. The first year we were here everyone always watched us. We were the outcasts. We've done well at blending in now, although we're _still_ not the typical Forks citizen_s_.

I'm not saying we're supernatural creatures or anything, but we live a slightly different lifestyle than the average Forkitizen is used to. My dad is a very successful doctor, and my mother sold off her half of her families' law firm to move here and take up her hobby of photography.

To say we're "well off" would be an understatement. It's just another thing to make the local males envy us and the females desire us. The same goes for the local guys chasing my sister. The Cullens' are irresistible.

When we moved to Forks, all five of us had to adjust to _major _"inconveniences" like not having a mall within walking distance, no Starbucks down the block, and no movie theater five minutes away. If we wanted to catch a show, that shit had to be planned ahead of time.

Which is lame. I mean, really, we've never been the _'Oh, hey, _family_, let's make Thursday night movie night, _mkay_?' _type of family.

Thanks, but _no_ thanks.

Life isn't about making plans - if you do that you'll miss out on the cool shit. That is just not how Edward Cullen does things.

Not long after the move, Emmett and Alice_,_ my slightly older brother and my twin sister, decided it would be a good idea to pair themselves off. They each fell for the one of the Hale twins. Kind of freaky if you ask me, but whatever. It's their prerogative.

Emmett, my bear of a brother, is dating Rosalie Hale. She suits him though - he's tall, she's tall, they're both athletic, obnoxiously loud, and into cars. Realistically, Emmett just found a slightly less gross, more fashion savvy, and way hot version of himself in Rose. She takes no shit from anyone, including Em. Which makes her perfect for him. I joke with her a lot and call her a Barbie.

This brings us to Alice, my twin sister. She's a pretty much a pixie-punk ballerina. That's the only term that would accurately describe her. She has black shoulder length hair which is always spiked in layers around her face, dark hazel eyes, a small pointy nose, and a friendly smile.

Alice is always dancing or walking with a gracefulness that would put professional dancers to shame, and she has a big heart. She thinks it's her strength, I say otherwise. Being nice to people only makes you vulnerable and susceptible to getting hurt.

Now don't jump to any conclusions, I haven't had my heart broken before. I know better than to put it out there in the first place.

On to a lighter subject: Alice's boyfriend, Jasper (who also happens to be one of the first people I met upon moving to this crappy place) is a pretty good character. He's nice and treats her well. But he won't always give her what she wants. He has this way of making her see everyone's opinion; I've had to use his lure a few different times to make her come onto my side of an argument.

At first I wasn't thrilled about _anybody_ dating my sister, but after looking at all of the other retards in this joint, I was pretty happy that they found each other.

Over my dead body would she date someone like Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley. _No. Thank you, Dickheads._

So my siblings all paired up, and that left me... without anyone. I'm not complaining though; I like being single. No drama, no bullshit. And no _whining_. I hate it when a girl thinks she's being cute by whining. Some guys who have no testicles might find it attractive, but I don't.

If you ask around, I'd probably be referred to as a player. I hook up and book it. No reason to stick around; half of the time a girl can hardly get it right the first time - why would I stick around for a replay? Some would call me a jackass; I'd say I'm... _selective_.

I'm not into the hand holding, lip locking bullshit that relationships entail, and I never plan to be. I'm not chauvinistic, I'm realistic. Some men value having one woman. I value one woman at a time, sometimes two. All depends on my evening.

And don't think I'm some pig who doesn't have a heart; I'm a smooth mother fucker. I hold doors, usually pay the tab, and am always courteous when I leave. I like women, but I value independence. Some of you may scoff because I'm just "some dumb punk kid who still lives at home with mama" well guess what fuckers? I should be. I'm only seventeen years old. But I know enough to know that true love isn't always what you find when you enter a relationship, and why try for anything less? Not all relationships turn out like my parents'. I understand that.

We can't all be Carlisle and Esme.

* * *

><p>Now back to this morning bullshit.<p>

I'm awake, it's really fucking early, and I'm not happy about it.

I finally beat my alarm clock into submission and walk half blind to my bathroom door. After I'm done with my morning routine of a shower, shave, and throwing some gel through my untamable hair; I head downstairs for breakfast with my family.

Everyone seems chipper and Alice is buzzing about a new kid joining our class. I ignore her and Emmett's conversation as I eat and wash my dishes. I say bye to my parents and head outside to wait in my car.

I turn on my stereo and scroll through my iPod; I mentally decide to kick Alice's ass for fucking with my iTunes.

What the fuck is all of this shit? _Pussycat Dolls? Rihanna? _Fucking chick shit.

I hit Shuffle and land on The Offspring's "Why don't you get a job". This will do.

I'm jostled when Alice opens the rear passenger door and climbs inside the backseat. Emmett, of course will be riding shotgun, Alice tried stealing it from him _once_... He slid the seat all the way back and sat on her lap the whole way to school. Between her squeals about her legs falling off and tears of pain and laugher, she never fucked with him for shotgun again. That and the fact that she limped around school for the better part of the day.

Pretty hilarious if you ask me.

Emmett climbs in the car and shuts his door.

Before I pull out of our long drive way, I make it a point to give Alice the stink eye in the rearview mirror.

"Alice, the next time you fuck with my music I'm going to fuck with your closet, and it's going to involve scissors."

Her eyes get huge and her mouth gapes open. Recovering quickly, I hear her huff and she focuses her hazel eyes on the back of my head.  
>"I can't help it you asshole! Emmett crashed my computer last week from viruses; all of his <em>porn<em> sites ate my hard drive alive."

I growl under my breath and make a mental note to ask my parents for overnight shipping on Alice's new laptop.

As I back out of my spot I chance a glance at Emmett. "And why again were you using our _sister's_ laptop to look up porn? You have your own computer in your room, Beezuz."

He shrugs his shoulders and smiles wide. "'Cause Mom and Dad said I couldn't look up porn on _my_ computer anymore, and you don't have a laptop."

I can't disagree with his logic. For a dumbass he could be pretty crafty.

Alice sulks in the backseat all of the way to school.

* * *

><p>Due to my morning sibling interrogation, we are running slightly late.<p>

Everyone is already inside when we pull up, and the warning bell has just rung. We have five minutes to get to class. Alice shoots out of my backseat like her ass is on fire, but she still takes the time to effectively slam my door. This doesn't do much to brighten my mood. I grab my iPod, headphones, and school shit and walk inside with Emmett.

Good thing about Emmett? He doesn't give a shit. Not much fazes him. He looks like he'd be a big asshole hot head, but he's really kind of a laid back dude. Sometimes it's nice. He's sort of my opposite. We balance each other well.

As we walk inside everyone is buzzing about the new student. Apparently it's a girl, and it's Chief Swan's daughter. I momentarily wonder if she's hot - it'd be kind of cool to fool around with the Sherriff's daughter. My curiosity leaves as fast as it comes when Emmett's friend Riley tells us that she's 'a midget or something'.

His words, not mine.

I wrinkle my nose and look over to Emmett to see him lost in thought, when suddenly he blurts, "Dude, I've seen some awesome midget porn."

I can't help but snort at that as I make my way to our first period classes. Mine is Algebra 3, Emmett's is Algebra 1; our classes are close by each other because they're in the same department.

Emmett was held back in Kindergarten; he's got some issues with school. He's a bit behind me and Alice, but he's got raw talent in sports, so he still ranks well among everyone.

I take a seat in the back of my classroom, discretely pop my ear buds back in, and scan the room, looking for any new faces. Everyone looks the same. Jessica get-off-my-dick Stanley, Eric pizza-face Yorke, Angela bible-hugger Webber, and about sixteen other losers. No one new.

After a few hours of floating through my morning classes, lunch period arrives. I grab a cheeseburger and a chocolate Oreo blizzard from the ala carte line and a soda from a nearby vending machine and walk to our table. One good thing about Forks is their lunch program. If you don't like the shit they've got planned on the menu, you get to grab some junk food from ala carte. It's the best of both worlds really.

I sit down at our table, noting that everyone is already here. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett are all seated at the octagon table.

Emmett's friend Riley usually skips out on lunch to go smoke one in the parking lot or have sex in the woods with his girlfriend, Bree. On the unusual day that he does come to the cafeteria, he usually sits with the jocks.

As we all settle in and start eating, I'm momentarily distracted by Rosalie's bisexual commentary on someone in the cafeteria.

"Hey, she's actually _really_ cute. I don't know why everyone seems to be so freaked out by her. I'd do her if I were into girls." I look up to see who she's talking about, knowing it must be the new girl.

When I follow Rose's line of sight I am not quite prepared for what I see. The girl sitting at a corner table by herself is surrounded by a notebook, sketching pencil, and a bottle of water. Her porcelain skin has a tint of red in the cheeks, her eyes are downcast as she concentrates on her notebook, and I can see ear bud strings poking out from underneath her thick auburn hair and hoodie. She dresses well - from what I can tell she's wearing some kind of gray hoodie with an orange sweater underneath, with minimal jewelry, fitted jeans, and a pair of sneakers. Nice, but not over doing it.

I've heard a lot of girls call her plain today, but I'd have to disagree. Her trendy eye glasses tell me all I need to know about her. She's smart, she's proud of it, and she doesn't care what people think. See, in a small town like Forks, if you're trying to make an 'impression' on the _in _crowd, most people who have money wear contacts. It's clear this girl isn't poor, but she isn't flaunting her money like most would at her age.

I'm suddenly interrupted in my musings as Alice's hand flashes in front of my face. "Hello? Earth to Edward. It's not polite to stare!" I scowl in Alice's direction and ask her want she wants.

Using her most exasperated voice she continues. "I was just saying the new girl is in my 4th period art class. Her name is Isabella Swan, but she prefers to be called Bella. She seems really nice, but doesn't say much. Jessica was a total bitch to her, not surprising." I ignore Alice's continued rambling and proceed to eat my lunch.

_Who cares who's mean to this new girl? Jessica is probably jealous because everyone's paying more attention to the new girl as opposed to her. Oh well, she'll get over it and things will be back to normal in no time._

"What'd she say to her?" Of course, Rose has to hear the latest gossip. She hates Jessica, and usually tries to take her poor victims under her wing.

"Uhm, I didn't catch the entire altercation. But what I do know is for some reason the kiln must have been running during class period or something, because it was super hot in our classroom, and Bella took off her sweatshirt. She had this really cute orange sweater on underneath, which is see through a little and had a black tank top on underneath... anyway… what was I saying? Oh right! So, Bella took off her hoodie, and Jess immediately started ripping on her choice of clothes. The whole orange and black thing. Jess made some bitchy comment that went something like, 'I didn't know today was Halloween, it seems they've let the munchkins come out to play.' and Bella said, 'It'd have to be, with a mask as ugly as yours.'" Alice finished.

Our entire table got a good laugh out of that. "Who would've thought, Little Miss has a backbone!" Emmett chortled.

"Little Miss?" I ask him humorously.

"Yeah, it's better than calling her New Girl."

Alice interrupts Emmett's reply. "But what I was going to say earlier is - could everyone please be nice to her if she's in your class? I mean, Emmett, Edward, and I know what it's like to be the new kid in Forks. I feel really bad for her, and her being a little different kinda makes the whole new kid thing even tougher, ya know?"

I roll my eyes and everyone else agrees with her.

I resolve to not do anything. I won't go out of my way to help someone who can clearly help themselves, but I'll try to discourage any more negative attention from coming her way. For Alice's sake. I know it's important to her, for whatever reason.

After the bell rings, releasing us from lunch, my siblings and I make our way off towards our afternoon classes. My next class is on the other end of the school in the science department.

Biology with Mr. Banner.

This is a class that I really do not enjoy. None of my siblings are in it, so I went out of my way to make sure I didn't have a lab partner. Unfortunately, due to my stubbornness, I've had to do all of the lab work alone.

Little did I know when I started the course that Mr. Banner loves diagrams. On every lab we do he wants little pictures of each step we take during the process. And I cannot draw for shit. He and I have argued numerous times about the fact that I've signed up for Biology, not art, and yet he still refuses to give me an _A_.

Luckily, I've gotten him to take some pity on me because I'm on my own, so he's stuck me with a high _B_ for the most part. He can't argue my brains; he can, however, argue my drawing capabilities.

* * *

><p>Roughly a minute before class is scheduled to start, I look up as Isabella is walking into the classroom, looking a little worse for the wear. I can tell lugging her books all the way across school is seriously wearing her out, but she's trying hard not to show it. Half of her hair is pinned on top of her head, but the sides look a little windblown and her cheeks are flushed.<p>

Mr. Banner signs her "new kid" slip and escorts her back to my lab table. He kindly sets her books up on the table, but clearly looks uncomfortable at the room's set up, as far as her short stature is concerned. After all, our lab seats are right around the height of her shoulders. But Isabella surprises us all and handles it like a champ. She approaches the back of the square backless stool, steps up onto the foot rail, swings one leg over, and quickly mounts her stool.

She does it so quickly I'm almost taken back by how lithely she moves.

Mr. Banner fusses over her for a couple of minutes until she finally looks up at him and gives him what can only be referred to as the stink eye. He quickly makes his way back to the front of the classroom.

I look over at her, trying to gauge her mood, but Isabella doesn't look at me. She hasn't looked at me once; as far as I can tell she doesn't even notice me. Or she's pretending I don't exist.

On one hand I'm glad, because this is exactly what I want in a lab partner; someone who pretends I'm not here.

On the other hand, I'm kind of irritated. Any other girl would be throwing themselves at me, or at least smiling in my general direction.

And the thing that pisses me off the most is... I can't read her expression at all. She looks completely aloof.

Mr. Banner informs us that we'll be working on a lab today. The whole class practically does a little happy dance. Everyone is excited to work with their lab partners. I chance another glance in Isabella's direction and see that she looks terribly uncomfortable.

She reaches for her books, pulls a pen out of her hoodie pocket and flips her book open. Mr. Banner places our worksheet on our table and hesitantly slides it in my general direction. Isabella scowls at the paper and finally looks up at me as he walks away.

Finally looking at her close up, I realize how pretty she is. Not in a flashy way, but in the classic girl next door way. She has deep chocolate brown eyes, flawless skin, and a practically perfect smile. I'm a little uncomfortable at my reaction to her. I clear my throat and look back down to the worksheet for a second. When I look back up she's tapping her pen on the table and tapping her foot against the foot rest.

"So... are we going to do this thing or what?" She nods towards the worksheet and looks back up at me.

"Uh... yeah..." I clear my throat. "Sorry, uhm, I'm Edward, Edward Cullen. I guess we'll be lab partners for the year." I wince at the coldness of my voice, knowing she probably thinks I'm dreading the fact.

I hear her sigh and she nods. "I'm Bella Swan. Nice to meet you." Her gaze fixes back on the worksheet. I can tell she's getting impatient with me.

I'm beginning to get nervous around her, I don't know what all she is capable of doing and I've never had to walk on eggshells before. I don't want to be outright rude to her, but I'm kind of sick of her attitude, or lack thereof.

Eventually she gets sick of my lack of response and leans over to pull the worksheet out of my hand. She sets it down in front of her and starts to answer the questions.

"Uhm..." _God, why do I sound like such a pussy all of the sudden._ "Uh... Bella? We're supposed to use the microscope for this lab... to uh.. identify the different types of cells..." I'm babbling, and she hasn't even looked up at me. When she does I'm surprised to see a little hostility in her eyes.

"Look, Edward? I've taken this same exact class in Arizona. I know what I'm doing - feel free to check my work when I'm done. I'm not slow. And I don't expect you to carry me through this class. You look through the microscope, and I'll write. I just want to get this done and over with. No need for small talk." She waves her hand for me to look at the microscope, adjusts her reading glasses, and continues to fill out the worksheet, even drawing the little diagrams for us.

I'm slightly thankful for her drawing capabilities, but peeved at her bitchy attitude. I was being nice for fuck's sake, and she's just dismissing me like a dog.

I growl under my breath and snatch the microscope, sliding it towards myself. It makes an awful screeching noise as I slide it over, but it doesn't even faze Bella. Finally, I lose my cool and slightly slam my hand down on the table between us. She jumps slightly, but continues on like I haven't done it.

I turn on my seat, facing her.

"Excuse me, but what the _fuck_ is your problem?" I hiss quietly.

She sighs, sets her pen down and turns her upper body towards me. When we make eye contact I can tell she isn't mad, just really tired.

"Listen Edward, I'm not trying to be a bitch. I just want to get this over with. I don't want a pity party, I just want to get through the next two years and get _out_ of here. I'm sick of being treated like I have the fucking plague. I'm doing everything I can to not be stomped on, and my locker is on the other end of the school. I'm fucking tired, and I _hate_ it here. It's cold, wet, and close-minded. Please, for the love of whatever it is you worship, can we just get this assignment done and stop talking? I'm sure you're a really nice guy. But I'm not here to make friends, not that I think you're interested in speaking to me outside of this classroom, but still. I'm here, serving my sentence, and I'd like to do it on clear terms. _Comprende_?" After she finishes her rant, turns away from me to face the table and completes our worksheet in silence. I just continue to stare at her, completely taken aback.

She must realize it because she mumbles, "Keep staring - I might do a trick."

I turn back around and finish looking through the scope. I start double-checking her answers over her shoulder, and I can tell by her body language that she probably wants to drive her ball point pen through my eye, so I back off. Finally she finishes it and slides it over to me.

Her drawing is really, _really_ good. As I begin to thank her she holds her hand up, cutting me off. Then she tosses all of her books and stuff to the floor with a loud thump. People look over at us. I'm trying to figure out what the hell she's doing. All of her books are now laying on the floor in a stack at the side of her stool.

Bella turns, facing the aisle, and swiftly slips off of her stool, landing on her books then swiftly bouncing down to the floor. She is again very graceful in her movements, and I can't help but watch her.

After collecting her things she looks up at me, "What?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

With that, the bell rings, and she walks out of the class.

Everyone is staring at her, and I finally begin to understand exactly why she's so bitchy. People have been doing this to her all day. She can't very well snap at people, but at the same time they're treating her like some side show freak.

I immediately feel sorry for her, and I kick myself because I know that my pity would piss her off.

* * *

><p>After pissing around for a few minutes in the halls, I make my way to my Chamber Singers classroom. It's similar to Choir, but our songs are more advanced and the class is only offered to Juniors and Seniors. I'm taking it because my siblings and the Hales are in it too, and it's an easy <em>A<em>. It turns out that I'm very musically talented. Singing and playing the piano are my forte.

When I walk in, I notice Bella has this class with me too. From the looks of it she's been cornered by Angela Webber. It's probably a good thing. Angela is a goody-goody, and she'll be nice to Bella. _Probably too nice, it might rub her the wrong way._ I can't help but smirk at what it would be like to hear little Bella ripping Angela a new asshole for throwing her a "pity party".

I sit down in my usual chair in the back of the room. Emmett is on one side of me and Jasper sits down on my other. The seating chart sucks in this class; it's guys on one side and girls on the other. Bella is sitting in the front row on the far end of the row. Angela is next to her; behind them Alice and Rosalie are seated, and next to them sit Jessica Stanley, and Lauren Mallory.

_Great... hopefully Jess doesn't run her mouth again. Rose might cut a bitch._

Shit, at this point, I'd pay big money to see a cat fight in the middle of this class.

When class starts we all sing our warm ups together and then start working on a few new songs for our fall concert. Miss Denali informs us that we'll be allowed to mix up our seating arrangement soon instead of sitting in our vocally sorted sound groups, Emmett, Jasper, and I are considered baritones.

Our voices aren't quite low enough to be considered a full bass, but not high enough to be a tenor 1. We are usually picked to do the lead male solos. Jasper and Emmett are great with harmonies, but don't enjoy singing half as much as I do, which is why I'm usually offered the solos first out of the males; my range doesn't hurt either.

That and I'm a pretty fan-_fucking_-tastic singer if I may say so myself.

The period is almost over when Miss Denali dismisses us to talk amongst ourselves, and us guys go sit in the vacant seats behind Alice and Rose. When we approach Bella looks like she wants to rip her ears off. Jessica and Lauren are talking so fucking loud, and Alice and Rosalie are just sitting quietly, gauging Bella's reaction.

Suddenly I hear Jessica say to Lauren, even though she's speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, "Hey Lauren, why can't _midgets_ wear tampons?" She snickers at the beginning of what is promising to be a lame joke.

Immediately Bella's posture stiffens. I can see the side of her face get bright red, and she cocks her head to one side. She's taken their bait.

"Why Jess?" Lauren giggles back.

"Because they trip over their strings!" They both bust out into loud peals of laughter, and I see Bella turn in her seat ever so slightly.

Bella's voice is so low it's almost scary.

"Hey pig face and super slut! If you don't shut your big fucking mouths I'm going to show you just how _cool_ midgets really are and cunt punch you both _so_ hard your _mothers_ will need a hysterectomy."

Many things happen after this...

Angela sits back like she's been burned.

Bella gives Lauren and Jess the most intimidating stink eye I have ever seen in my entire life... _and I live with Alice! _

Lauren wails, "I am _not_ a _slut_!" Which amuses us, but offends Jessica.

Jessica's jaw drops as Rosalie and Alice burst out laughing, as do most of the people who are fortunate enough to have heard the entire conversation.

Random people are making fun of Jessica and Lauren as they gather their things and hastily make their way to the hallway. Bella's gaze doesn't waver from them until they slam the door behind themselves.

After all of the excitement dies down she leans back in her chair and runs her fingers through her hair. She looks exhausted and pissed off. I briefly contemplate approaching her again and thanking her for doing our entire science lab on her own, but I'm kind of afraid she'll make me look as stupid as she just did with Jessica and Lauren.

I waver in my decision for about five seconds before Bella pops her ear buds back in, effectively telling people to leave her the fuck alone, without actually saying the worlds.

Quickly Alice leans forward and plucks one of the ear buds out of Bella's ear. She then places it in her own and listens to Bella's music. Bella just tilts her head back and gives her an _"Excuse me?" _look, with one eyebrow raised. I'm surprised that Bella looks fairly amused at my sister's casual manner.

Rose leans in close to Alice's ear to hear what song is playing and nods appreciatively while Alice quickly pulls the bud out, handing it to Rose.

"Hi, Bella. I'm Alice Cullen, this is Rosalie Hale. Welcome to Forks High!" Bella bites her lip and looks back and forth between my sister and Rose.

Finally Bella turns sideways in her chair and decides to answer, "Uhm, hi? Thanks." It's obvious that she is taken off guard and is not very comfortable with positive peer to peer interaction.

Alice takes this as all the invitation she needs, and starts the welcoming committee. "How are you liking Washington so far?"

Bella grimaces, looking even more uncomfortable. "Uh, I kind of hate it. Too cold and wet..." she trails off as she shakes her head absentmindedly "...I'm from Arizona, so it's a big transition for me. I've never really spent more than a week here at a time."

"Really? I've never seen you around. You've visited Forks before? Well, we've only lived here for a few years, my brothers and I, that is. Oh shoot! I forgot to introduce you to the boys. How rude of me." Alice swings around in her seat looking us in our other seats and jumps when she notices we're behind her.

"What are you guys doing? Eavesdropping?" Alice jokes playfully, she and swings back around to face Bella.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jasper Hale, who also happens to be Rosalie's brother, and my brothers Edward and Emmett. Emmett and Rose are dating." She states this all so matter of factly.

Bella nods at each of us as she introduces us; Jasper and Emmett give her a little wave as they're introduced. I make eye contact with her, but don't do anything else. Emmett thinks I'm being rude and shoves one of his meaty elbows into my side which irritates me, causing my voice to sound harsher than I intend it to.

"We've met."

Luckily the bell rings and cuts off further conversation on my part. I stand and exit the room without my siblings. I don't feel like answering their questions in front of the new girl, and I don't need to answer to them for my attitude or decisions.

* * *

><p>Gym passes without incident.<p>

Bella just so happens to be in this class too. However, she gets to sit out today because she doesn't have a gym uniform. I'm sure it's more because Coach Clapp doesn't know what to do with her. She's too short to play most of the rough contact sports, and putting her in any contact sport involving Emmett would be _disastrous_.

She spends the entire hour listening to her iPod as she watches us sweat our asses off.

_Lucky bitch._

* * *

><p>After class, I rinse off quick in the showers and dress quickly. As I'm getting my shit together to leave the locker room, Emmett and Jasper approach me.<p>

"Dude, what was up with you and Little Miss in Choir?" Emmett's never really been one to beat around the bush.

"She's my lab partner in bio, and she chewed my ass for trying to be nice to her." I snap, not really knowing why I'm feeling so defensive.

Maybe I feel a little guilt for the way I acted in class, but she still had no reason to treat me the way she did.

"It seems like she's had a pretty rough day. Alice and Rose really want to get to know her, so could you at least be a little supportive, or at least not so damn _growly_ next time?" Jasper tries to reason with me.

"Sure sure, no problem." I walk away, ending the conversation.

_I'd rather wait in the car alone than deal with this bullshit right now. _

* * *

><p>Alice and Emmett decide to make me wait for over twenty-five minutes before making their way out to the parking lot. When they approach the car and don't get in, I roll the window down to see what the holdup is. They both inform me that they're going over to the Hale's for a while and let me know I'm more than welcome to join them.<p>

I decline, telling them I've got homework and I'm tired.

I pull out of the parking lot. As I drive down the street a few blocks I notice a very small familiar form walking down the street. She looks really tired, and I feel a twinge of guilt again for acting like such an ass before, so I decide to pull over to see if she needs a ride. I know her dad's house is on the other side of town. Forks isn't a big town, but it's still quite a walk in this cold weather.

Speaking of her father, _where the hell is he?_ He should be picking her up. Not making her walk all this way by herself. _Asshole._

I roll down my window and lean over towards the passenger seat to see her better.

"Hi, Bella, would you like a ride?"

She hesitates, clearly shivering from the cold and wavering on the fine line between her independence and knowing she should accept the ride. She bites her bottom lip and furrows her brow glancing down the sidewalk and back towards my car.

I'm only slightly annoyed that she hasn't answered me when she nods minutely and opens the car door. "That's very nice of you. Thank you, Edward."

Something about the way she says my name gives me a funny feeling in my gut. I do my best to ignore it, and hit the button to roll her window up as I flick the heater on full blast and turn her seat warmer on.

Bella rubs her hands together in front of the heat vent in an attempt to warm them.

"Seat belt?" I ask, wondering if she's going to put it on or not. Or if she even can. She reaches back for it but it gets stuck, she tries a few more times to get the belt to lower and can't.

Eventually she gives up with a huff and drops her hands in her lap. I try not to laugh because she looks so fucking cute when she's mad, but I don't want to piss her off. I unclick my seatbelt and lean over her in an attempt to grab her belt.

I've caught her off guard. She leans all the way back and turns her face towards my seat in an attempt to give me more room. My face is so close to the inside of her neck, and her smell is unlike anything I've ever experienced before.

I want to kiss her and throw her out of the car at the same time. She smells so sweet and tempting, but I know I'll never act on these impulses.

I lean back towards my side of the car slightly as her belt finally releases and begins to slide across her shoulder then to her chest, stomach, and finally I get it clasped at her hip. I take a second to look at her face and it is bright red. I don't know if she's embarrassed or feeling the same chemistry I am.

It's totally ridiculous for me to even give her the time of day.

For one thing I don't date, and I'm pretty sure Bella isn't the _hit it and quit it_ kind of girl.

For two, she's different. I don't even know her, and I can barely act like a decent human being around her, let alone try to put any moves on her.

It'd only end up badly for her. I'd end up breaking her heart if she got attached. _Who am I kidding?_ They always get attached, and she's probably a virgin, so then I'd never get rid of her.

Shit, she might not even be able to have sex. I don't know how little people, or midgets, or dwarves, or whatever the fuck she is, work.

I close my eyes and shake my head at my internal musings. God, I can be such a fucking moron sometimes. I'm letting a little perfume cloud my fucking mind. I need to get laid, _soon_. But it's _not_ going to be Bella. That is for sure.

I put my seatbelt back on and pull away from the curb, driving in the direction of her house.

"Do you know where I live?" She seems a little surprised that I'm driving in the right direction without any instructions on where to go.

"Yep. It's Forks; everyone knows where everyone lives." I smirk at her.

She cringes and shifts in her seat a bit.

"Nice. Well, in that case... where do you live?" She smirks back at me as the tables have turned slightly.

"Out in the forest a ways. We don't actually live _in_ town." She nods and begins strumming her fingers against her pant leg.

As we pull up to her house I notice her father's police car isn't in the driveway.

I finally decide to ask her what's been bothering me for the last ten minutes. "Hey, why were you walking home from school?"

She turns her head in my direction and then glances back at her father's house.

"Charlie- I mean _my Dad_ has to work, and my car isn't here yet, so I'm walking to and from school for now. Jacob Black offered to give me a ride, but it's out of his way so I told him no. I really don't mind; I got a ride today with Charlie, because he went in to work late. And it gave me time to get my schedule straightened out after school, so it's really not a big deal." She shrugs and reaches for the door handle.

"Wait." I find myself stopping her from leaving. I still want to talk to her - I find her interesting. "You drive? Sorry, that's rude; you're a junior in high school. Of course you drive. I've uh, just never met a person of your stature before." I stammer the sentence. I'm usually never nervous, but I'm trying my best not to offend her.

"Yeah, I've got pedal modifications on my car in Arizona. I really miss it actually. Renee and Phil promised it'd be here within the month, so I guess I'll see."

"Renee and Phil?" I turn to face her more, and lean my back against my door.

"My mom and step dad. He plays pro baseball, and he's just been signed by the Florida Marlins. They're moving to Jacksonville for a while but will be on the road a lot, and I guess they - and Charlie - thought it would be a bad idea to leave me to take care of myself. Not like I haven't done that before, but whatever. So now I'm here in high school hell, which happens to be located on the coldest, wettest, greenest piece of the Pacific Northwest. _Yay _me." She gestures like she's waving a flag with her hand and shrugs.

"Well, that's not really fair is it? I mean, did you get a choice in the matter?" I don't know why I'm asking her this; even more importantly, I'm uncomfortable with my own realization, that I want to know _more_ about this girl. Is it my curiosity about her physical abilities or is it something else... is there a wonky chemistry that is encouraging my mind to delve deeper into the mind of Isabella Swan?

"Life has never been _fair_, why should it start now?" With that she unhooks her seatbelt, opens the car door, and steps out.

"See you tomorrow, Edward." She shuts the door gently and walks up to her front door.

After taking a minute to unlock it, she steps inside and glances back at me. I start my car; my head is in a daze as I pull away from the curb, heading home.

* * *

><p>I'm lounging around in our basement's media room, watching TV on our flat screen when my mom comes down with a load of laundry and asks me how my day went. I mumble something to her that passes for an answer and she goes on her way.<p>

After loading the washing machine, she carries a basket of freshly dried clothes out and sits down beside me.

"Here, help me fold." She smiles warmly at me.

I roll my eyes but sit up to start sorting through the heap at my feet.

"So, Alice tells me you and the new girl are in a few classes together. I hear she's nice." I know my mother is just trying to be polite and make conversation, but I really don't want to discuss Bella with anyone. I've just finally gotten my mind off of her.

"Yeah we have afternoon classes together. She is nice." I'm hoping this answer is sufficient enough for her, but I know she doesn't change topics easily.

"Is she pretty?" Of course, why would today be any different?

"Ma! No... She's... little. I don't know. She's cute I guess, if you like that sort of thing."

Mom furrows her brow, and I see a hint of a smile on her lips, then it quickly changes to a bit of a scowl and her face goes stony.

"You had better be nice to her, Edward. That girl is going through a lot right now. While I love the peace and tranquility that comes with a small town, sometimes it's outweighed by the gossip and close-mindedness. I pray I've raised you and your siblings better than that. It sounds like Alice really likes her, and Emmett says she's nice from what he's seen of her. I sure hope you're being welcoming as well." She scolds in a motherly tone.

"I am, Ma. I gave her a ride home today. I know she's going through a lot. Her mom and step-dad practically dumped her off here with her dad so they could travel around while her step-dad plays ball. I'm not that big of a jerk, Mom. I know I have a reputation for being one, but I'm not going to pick on her because of things she can't help. And I know she's nice." _Or at least can be if she wants to be. I've seen her around Alice… a little bit._

Mom quirks a brow at me. "Edward, be careful with her. She's not only different from you, she's also the police chief's daughter. If you're thinking about playing games with her, _don't_."

"Trust me, Mom, I'm not interested in Bella like _that_."

I pick up the piles of folded clothes from the couch cushions. Before she can continue on I pick up the basket and carry it upstairs. I leave it for her at the top of the stairs on the second floor and walk up another flight to my room where I close my door and lock myself in for a while.

As I lay on my bed, I can't get Bella off of my mind. I roll over and think back to this afternoon when I arrived home from dropping her off. I had been just about to step out of the car when I looked down and noticed Bella's sketchbook sitting on the floorboard. Bringing it inside, I quickly tucked it away in my room and decided to wait until later to look at it.

Now is later, I decide, I slide it out from under my pillow and I thumb through pages of very detailed sketches. Some are landscapes; palm trees, exotic flowers, the usual things artists would draw, I suppose. It's obvious Bella is a visual person; she notices the most intimate details of her subjects.

As I continue to study her work, I come across a rough sketch of a male. The date on the page lets me know she drew it a few months back. I know she drew it before she ever came to Forks, but the person in the picture looks very familiar. If he didn't look so ethereal, I'd say it was... _me_.

I know it's not the most logical thought I've ever had. Maybe Bella knows someone who looks like me, or maybe she imagined this person and it just looks strikingly similar? This person doesn't exactly look like an actual person; his eyes have been colored in a creepy yellow color, his skin looks shimmery - like it's been coated in diamond dust - and he also looks like he's never seen the sun before... pale as a ghost.

I page through the book further and notice there isn't another human sketch in it. The rest are animals or abstract sketches. When I'm finished, I slide the book into my book bag and go downstairs to see what we're having for supper.

When I sit down at the dining room table I quickly realize my mom has ratted me out to my siblings about driving Bella home from school today, and now Alice is begging me to pick her up in the morning.

The only reason I agree is because I have her sketchbook, and I'd like to have my siblings around when I give it back to her - so she doesn't punch me in the junk or something.

After supper I decide to turn in for the night. I've got a massive migraine, and I'm already sick of talking and thinking about Little Miss Isabella Swan.


	2. Chapter 2: Miss Independent

Disclaimer: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just spinning on her Mary-Go-Round.

Beta(s): Athome Jo, Project Team Beta, & MzBionic

Pre-reader: MzBionic & Mandy Pants aka DreamersDaze. Love them girls, hard! :-D

* * *

><p><em><span>Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.<span>_  
>-Eleanor Roosevelt<p>

* * *

><p>Miss Independent<br>Miss Self-sufficient  
>Miss Keep-your-distance<p>

Miss Unafraid  
>Miss Outta-my-way<br>Miss Don't-let-a-man-interfere, no

Miss On-her-own  
>Miss Almost-grown<br>Miss Never-let-a-man-help-her-off-her-throne

-_Miss Independent,_ By: Kelly Clarkson

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: <strong>

**Miss Independent**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella's POV- <strong>_

I love Phoenix. I love Arizona. I love the dry heat; everything about Phoenix feels like home to me. Whether it's the vastly sprawling city, or the beautiful red rock surrounding it, Arizona is where I call home.

But all of that is about to change. My whole life is about to change.

I drum my fingers against the plush cushion of my oversized faux leather chair as I wait for my laptop to power up. Sitting quietly in the library of our Phoenix home, the warm relaxing breeze floats in through the open windows, causing the white sheer floor-length curtains to dance in the wind like kite ribbons.

Once everything is loaded, I click on my Internet Explorer and _Google_ Forks, Washington, only to be met with a lot of small town nonsense and weather forecast records. I started this endeavor wondering if anything had changed since I'd seen Forks last; much to my dismay, nothing had.

Apparently, it's still the cloudiest place in the continental U.S.

_Go figure. _

How appropriate. I'm being exiled from my bright, balmy, nurturing home into a place of damp, dark frigidness.

All hope I had for this move quickly flew out the window. After closing out my search engine, I log onto Facebook and peruse my 'feed' for a distraction; anything to take my mind off of my impending banishment to the city of gloom.

I see a link for the _FarmVille_ app game I like to play in my free time. One of my neighbors is offering me 100 free experience points for sharing interest in their farm.

When I click the link, I get the following message:

**Sorry, this event for Natasha's stable has expired. Try again next time!**

_Will nothing go my way today? _I sigh begrudgingly and glare holes into the laptop screen.

Suddenly a slightly aged, tan, manicured hand slips onto the top of my screen and pushes it shut. I don't have to turn to see who it is; I'd recognize those digits anywhere, especially that weird looking nail polish.

"What do you want, _Renee_?" I try to keep the emotion out of my voice, but end up spitting the last part out of spite.

"Bella, I am your mother. You are not to call me by my first name. I will _not_ tell you again," she says firmly.

My eyes roll so hard it's a wonder they still have the ability to stare straight ahead when I look up at her.

"What do you want, _Mother_?" My tone is harsh again, purposely this time.

"Bella," I can hear her voice softening already. I'm about to get a pep talk. "Honey, Forks isn't that bad. You have a wonderful personality; I know that you'll meet people right away. You just have to step out of your shell. People will love you."

Again, my eyes are rolling. I'm sure by the end of the conversation it will look like I'm mocking the washing machine.

"Forks isn't _that_ bad?" I ask condescendingly. "Then why didn't _you_ stay there?"

I know my words bite, but she doesn't even care that she's shipping me off to live with my dad, just so she can be on the road with Phil. Don't get me wrong - I understand her need to be with him, and I love Phil; I don't even care that she's going. I'm just mad that I'm being shipped off instead of being left alone.

_I should be allowed to stay in Phoenix and take care of myself. _I did it when they first started dating. She would stay at his place three to four times a week, and I'd be left to fend for myself._ Why can't I now?_ Renee wasn't playing fair and she knew it.

"Bella, baby, you need to calm down. This isn't anything to get worked up over. You know Forks was never in the cards for me. When I met your father, we were very young and naïve. Then we had you and got married. Don't think for one second that I regret having you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. But Charlie and I weren't meant to be, and Forks just wasn't where my heart was." She reaches her hand up, gently smoothing my hair back off of my forehead.

"Bella, watching you struggle and fight for your life as a baby taught me to stop taking mine for granted. You've given me strength, Isabella. You're the strongest person I know. That's why I know you'll make the best out of this situation." The tears in her eyes are genuine, and my anger fades to defeat.

"But …" my voice trembles "why can't I just stay here? We're keeping the house. Why can't I just stay and take care of it and finish high school in Phoenix? I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"Oh, I know you are, baby. If I'm being honest, you're more responsible than I am. That was never a question in our decision. The fact of the matter is that if anything happened to you neither Charlie, Phil, nor I would ever forgive ourselves."

I close my eyes, still upset about the lack of control I have over my life.

Suddenly, I feel her press a warm kiss against my forehead, and I sigh.

_I'm really going to miss my loving, erratic, hare-brained mother._

* * *

><p><strong>One Week Later:<strong>

_Fuck this morning! _

_Fuck this day! _

_Fuck this place! _

_Fuck school! _

_Fuck my parents! _

That is my mantra this morning. So far, it's working well for me.

I _can_ take care of myself. I don't need to be in this depressing town. I should be living on my own back in Phoenix. I've been taking care of myself just fine so far.

Everyone's so damn worried about me living alone in Phoenix. What exactly is the difference here? Charlie works all of the time anyway! Cut me some slack, parentals!

So I'm short - big fucking deal. I can take care of myself; I don't need the chief hovering around me.

My mind drifts off as I stand under the spray of the hot water.

I am _so_ not a morning person...

I sigh as the water starts getting chilly after only ten minutes in the shower.

_Figures._

After I dry myself off, I dress in as many layers as possible. I decide to wear some of my new clothes from Renee, or my (currently non-affectionately known as) _mom_.

One good thing about having a guilt-ridden mother and a stepfather, who plays pro ball, feeling bad about dumping you off in bum-fuck-Forks - a whole new wardrobe. Well, I guess I'm always getting new clothes, but she went out of her way to make sure I had lots of warm, nice clothes for Forks.

I think she also felt a little bad about not letting me drive here. She probably thought I'd run away and she'd never see me again. I smile to myself. I should have really pushed the issue to drive my car out here.

_I miss my car so much. _

I look in the floor length mirror and take in my reflection. Overall I look all right. I decide to just pin my bangs back on top of my head. My arms aren't long enough to put my hair in a pony tail, and I no longer have Renee around to French braid it. So it looks like the hair styles will be minimal during the duration of my sentence here in Forks.

They had better get used to being called by their first names, especially Renee, since she's the one who sent me here.

I like Forks about as much as she does, maybe even _less_.

And I'm upset with Charlie, my dad, because well, he kind of needs to spend a little time earning the dad title. I mean, shit... a check once a month and a call once a week doesn't exactly build a big _bonding_ relationship.

He should have had a son; maybe he would have fought to spend a little more time with him, maybe a son could have been everything he'd always wanted in a child - a fisherman, athletic, patient, tall?

The relationship between my father and I hasn't always been strained, but it has been distant. I used to come up for a month or more every summer to stay with him. But he'd always drag me along on one of his fishing excursions, and I'd end up with a cold for at least three out of the four to six weeks of my stay. He never let it get in the way of his fishing trips.

When I wasn't sick, Charlie made me tag along with him and his friend Billy, which caused Jacob (Billy's son) and I to get into all sorts of mischief. What started off as two kids playing in mud puddles, ended up with us becoming close friends who enjoyed plotting obnoxious pranks on their fathers … and their fishing equipment.

_Ah, the good old days_. I should call Jake soon and let him know I'm home.

I really should take it easy on my parents. I know they only mean well, but I hate being told what I can and cannot do. Do they even understand how hard it is to fit in at a new school... and to be a _freak_? I'm just over 3 1/2 feet tall; I cannot blend in anywhere!

Not even Phoenix.

So now, they've decided to subject me to a close-minded small town in the middle of a forest. And there is freaking nothing here! To say I'm a bit _peeved_ with them would be an understatement.

The only person I'm not mad at in this equation is Phil. He's promised monthly care packages and some spending money for gas and car maintenance. Now don't go thinking I'm some pretentious snob. I'm not. Normally, I don't ask for anything. I just know that these next couple of years in Forks will be most likely the two loneliest years of my life. I'm not looking forward to them.

So here I am, making my way downstairs to eat a shitty breakfast and make shitty conversation with Charlie.

Lucky for me, he's going into work late today, so I get a ride to school. Tomorrow, however, I get to walk in the frigid cold.

_I can't wait for my car to get here! _

Charlie makes me a piece of toast for breakfast, and we head out to his cruiser. Charlie has kept our conversation to a bare minimum, and for that I'm thankful. He offers to ask Jake to give me a ride to school until my car is out here, but I tell him no, and I assure him that I don't mind walking.

Which is a lie. I am absolutely dreading the walk home from school, because I know I'm going to be tired as shit by the end of the day. But Jake doesn't even go to the same school as me. He goes to school up on the reservation, which is about a fifteen minute drive one way every morning. It's completely out of his way - not cool, not fair for him, and embarrassing for me. He finally quits asking when I insist I'm okay.

I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune when I'm walking home from school by myself today, but that's then. Right now, I'll soak up the embarrassment of riding to school in the police cruiser, and use the full potential of the heater.

When we reach school, my hands are still frozen. I'm thankful for all of the layers I'm wearing. Charlie asks if I want him to walk me in. I politely decline, grab my bag, and head inside. I stop in the main office and grab my "new kid" sheet, class schedule, and locker information.

After walking the halls a few times, I locate my locker. It's right next to the commons and music department. This location isn't so bad for mornings, but it is going to suck in between classes. The administration probably thought they were doing me a favor. In Phoenix I had two lockers, one upstairs and one downstairs. It made it a lot easier on me. This school isn't nearly as big though; I'm sure I'll survive just fine.

Upon arriving at my locker, I shed my bag and just take out my sketchbook, a notebook, and a few writing utensils. I lock my locker and look at my schedule. It looks like this school has already fucked up; they've put me in Algebra 1 instead of Algebra 3. I was in Calculus in Phoenix, but there was only so much available to me this late in the year here.

All of the AP classes were full, and I'm not a huge math fan anyway. But that doesn't mean I want to totally dick around here. I am not going to sit in Algebra 1 with a bunch of freshman.

_Oh hell, no. _I can deal with a lot of different types of shit, but that is not one of them.

I decide against doing anything about my class dilemma until second period. English is my first class; Math isn't until second period, so I'll take care of it then. I make my way to English and sit in the back. To my relief, my teacher doesn't make a big deal about my presence. After class, I have my teacher sign my sheet, and I slip out of the room. Random kids stare at me on and off, but thankfully, no one makes any snide comments.

_Maybe Forks won't be so bad after all._

I make my way to the main office in between class periods. The secretary, Mrs. Cope, informs me that I'll need to schedule a meeting with a guidance counselor after school, as they're in charge of all scheduling complaints. She offers to let me stay in the office with her for the duration of the class hour, so I sit down in the waiting area and pull out my sketch book.

After a few minutes of awkward small talk, involving her Spanish Inquisition ranging from "how I'm liking the weather" to "if I've made any new friends yet", I politely remind her I've only been in Forks for a couple of days, and I haven't even unpacked yet.

Eventually, she gets bored or uncomfortable with the silence, and goes back to doing whatever she was doing before I came in.

I page through my sketches and start to color in one I've been working on for a few months. I use oil pastel and I smear each color and shade perfectly for the most realistic look I can achieve. Once it's completed, I stare down into the eyes that are looking up at me.

I've seen these golden eyes before, in my dreams. I've seen them more than once. I dream of this person often, and even though all of my dreams aren't the same - he is always searching for something. Every time I think he - whomever he is, is about to find whatever it is that he's looking for, it slips further and further away from him. Often making him look sad and broken, sometimes even a little fierce or feral, like a caged animal that hasn't been fed in months.

I'm never afraid of him, I always want to help him find what he's looking for, but it's like he can't see me. Always looking past me, and my voice falls on deaf ears. No matter how hard I try, it's useless. Every situation is different, but it always ends the same. He walks away from me, utterly defeated and alone.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by the bell ringing.

I thank Mrs. Cope and rush off to wash the color off my hands in the bathroom. Due to the fact that the school is such an old building, I can't reach the sinks. I can barely see over the countertop. Even more humiliating, the school has put a step stool off to the side of the sinks for me. I know they're only trying to make things easier for me, but I'd rather carry around hand sanitizer than have them purchase a step stool for me.

After making sure no one else is in the bathroom, I slide the step stool over to one of the sinks and start to wash my hands. When I'm just starting to dry my hands off, a group of girls comes in. They stop in their tracks when they see me. Two of them laugh to each other, and the others just do their business and ignore me.

My face is colored from embarrassment when I exit the restroom; I make a quick stop at my locker and head to my next class. I figured there'd be a few snobby people here, but I didn't think they'd out right laugh in my face about my short stature. I mean, little kids make a big deal about it in stores and stuff, but they're young and don't know any better. These girls are in high school; have we not all grown past this?

Apparently, they don't teach kids to play nice in Forks Elementary. That's okay, because if they really want to play dirty, I can do that too. I may be short, but there is nothing small about my temper, or sense of humor for that matter.

No big deal.

_Dynamite comes in small packages, bitches! _

* * *

><p><strong>Fourth Period- Art:<br>Bella POV:**

_A girl named Jessica Stanley is going to get cunt-punched before I graduate Forks High. _

_I guarantee it. _

My Current Events class passes by without any further incident. Advanced Mixed Media or ART class does not show me the same good fortune. Some dumb fucker decided to turn on the kiln instead of waiting until after school was over, and now the art room is smoldering. I slip my sweat shirt off only to be ridiculed about my choice in color by some ugly ass, greasy, pizza-faced bitch with shit-brown poodle hair.

_God, I'd love to cut that bitch... _

I shake off her remark and snap back at her with an equally biting comment. Afterwards, she backs off. I pray that this is the last of the trouble I have with her, but I doubt it will be. She just _looks_ like a _bitch_.

* * *

><p>By the time lunch period rolls around, I still haven't really met anyone worth spending any time with. I grab a bottle of water and snag an abandoned table in the corner of the cafeteriacommons area. Thankfully, it's far away from Jessica Stanley's table, and no one seems to mess with me. I continue to shade in my sketch of my _dream guy_, and move on to work on a few shadings on other pages.

As I sit there and make lines and marks with my charcoal pencil, I come to the realization that this place really isn't much different from Phoenix.

_Just a little lonelier. _

I did have friends in Phoenix, but it wasn't a set group. I hung out with a lot of different people. I wasn't really outwardly judged. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I grew up there, and the larger population. A lot of the students knew people of short stature, and there were others in my school with different types of short stature or some type of a physical disability.

I was just another face in the crowd. And I loved it. While most people would kill for popularity, and to be well known by everyone, I just want to be another nobody. I don't always want to be known as the _**little**_ girl, or Charlie Swan's daughter.

In Phoenix, no one knew my dad was a cop, but they wouldn't have cared either way. And no one pointed out what everyone here seems to love to stare at.

In Phoenix I was just another student.

_I miss that most. _

I can feel my eyes start to sting with unshed tears. I slip on my reading glasses and glance sideways out a large window. Everything is so _green, _so alien from what I'm used to. It makes me miss the brown sand, red rock, and yellow sun. The only greens I want around me are my cacti. And even they can't live in this dingy, musty climate.

I yearn for Phoenix.

I had a few semi-close friends there, but not anyone that I couldn't part with. I really don't like to get attached to a lot of people. I guess I'm like my dad in that way. I really hate _needing_ someone. I hate asking for help, and I don't think people should have to change up their routine just to accommodate me. It doesn't seem fair to them.

I chew on my lip and continue to waste my lunch period feeling sorry for myself. Music brings me great comfort and the control I crave. I hit shuffle, and if I come to a song I don't like, I skip it. My iPod doesn't point and laugh at me. It doesn't judge. The worst thing it could do to me is let the battery run low. I always know it'll power back up once it's charged. It's one of the most reliable parts of my everyday life.

* * *

><p>After lunch I stop at my locker. Then I make my way to Biology; the classroom is on the other end of the school. I'm tired as shit and dreading the walk home tonight.<p>

When I enter the classroom, my teacher, Mr. Banner, signs my sheet and escorts me back to my lab table. He looks super uncomfortable about my height versus the lab table height, and I snicker internally. We had lab tables like this back in Phoenix; it really wasn't a big deal.

After I have him set my things on the countertop, I approach the back of the stool and swiftly climb up on top of it. I'm a little embarrassed that my lab partner is already seated, and I'm drawing so much attention. But there really is no avoiding it.

_This poor kid will just have to stick it out until we're assigned other seats or we complete this class. _

I decide to ignore whoever the hell is next to me until I absolutely have to acknowledge him. Much to my dismay, we're informed that we'll be partnering up for a lab today.

_Awesome... good times... _

I sigh and reach for my notebook and pull a pen out of my pocket as I flip my text book open.

Just as I look up, Mr. Banner walks over to hand us our lab worksheet. He places the worksheet on the table and tries to subtly slide the paper in my lab partner's direction.

_Does he think I'm mentally handicapped or something? _

I just want to scream at everyone, _'I do not have a cognitive disability, you fuckers!'_ but of course I don't and just decide to give him the stink eye.

After Mr. Banner is away from our lab table, I finally look up at my lab partner. I'm shocked at what I see. He's beautiful. Not in a girly crush way, but in a devastatingly handsome, yet brooding way. Another thing that shakes me to my core is that he looks almost identical to my drawing of the boy from my dreams. Except the person sitting before me has grass green eyes and much more color to his skin. He's not tan by any means, but he's not the pale-skinned, shimmering person from my drawing either.

I snap out of our little staring contest quickly and avert my eyes from his gaze. I notice behind him on a side table is some kind of stuffed bird with feathers. See, this would be normal to find in a biology class, but what makes this hilarious is the way my lab partner is positioned on his stool. The exact placement of the bird makes it look like my partner has wings. I can't help but smile at the silliness of it all before quickly looking away.

When I look back up, my lab partner is clearly staring at me, and it kind of pisses me off. Not only does it make me uncomfortable, but it's just rude. Doesn't this pretty boy have any manners? He's probably never seen a little person before. I roll my eyes and start tapping my foot against the stool in a very annoyed manner.

He clears his throat and turns back to face the table. I can tell I've flustered him, and it makes me smile a little on the inside. Finally, when he doesn't say anything, I start tapping my pen against the table and give him a bit of the stink eye.

"So, are we going to do this thing or what?" I motion to the worksheet and look up at him. I'm getting impatient, and I want to get this done as quickly as possible.

"Uh, yeah." He clears his throat and attempts a crappy introduction. "Sorry, uhm, I'm Edward, Edward Cullen." _Okay? _His formality takes me by surprise, and the way he mentions his last name is almost pompous.

_Is that name supposed to mean something to me, because it doesn't, Dude. I'm the _new_ girl, remember?_

I also see his chest puff out when he says his last name. It's almost like he's trying to speak with authority, but I'm not the least bit impressed. He's stuttering and stammering his way through his sentence; like a damn fool.

_Hmm, for being so pretty, you sure aren't too bright, are ya? Looks like I'm going it alone in this class._

"I guess we'll be lab partners for the year," he says with contempt.

_Ouch. Pretty Boy is an ice king. Don't sound so thrilled about being my lab partner or anything. Don't worry; I'm not all that excited about carrying your stupid ass through Biology either, Dickhead._

I sigh and nod at him. "I'm Bella, nice to meet you." I better attempt to play nice if we're really stuck with each other for the duration of the year. By the looks of everyone else in this room, he's probably a decent choice. Everyone in here looks like a damn scarecrow. All, _if I only had a brain._

I look down at the worksheet in front of him with disdain. I just want to get this fucking class over with, and he's moseying around the work like a bonehead. Finally I say to hell with him and reach over, snatching the worksheet right out of his hand. I start working on it immediately.

_No more beating around the bush._

"Uhm..." he stammers.

I smirk at his illiteracy.

"Uh, Bella?"

_Ugh, what do you want, Pretty Boy; don't you see I'm working here?_

"Hmm?" I ask, only paying half attention to him.

"We're supposed to use the microscope for this lab... to uh... identify the different types of cells..."

Okay, listening to this fucker is seriously giving me a brain freeze headache. He's obviously extremely uncomfortable around me, which is good; it gives me the upper hand in our partnership and lets him know that I will not be walked on. The fact that I'm short doesn't mean I can't hold my own.

Like I said before,_ dynamite comes in small packages, bitches!_

"Look, _Edward,_ is it?" I almost called him Pretty Boy. I'll need to be more careful about that.

I don't wait for him to answer. "I've already taken this same exact class in Arizona. I know what I'm doing. Feel free to check my work when I'm done. I'm not _slow_ and I don't expect you to carry me through this class. _You_ look through the microscope, and _I'll_ write. I just want to get this done and over with. No need for small talk."

I motion for him to get to work on the 'scope, and I pick up where I left off on our worksheet. I hear him get all huffy like a little girl, and he snatches the microscope with such force that it makes this atrocious scraping and screeching noise as he yanks it closer to him.

On the inside, I'm laughing my ass off. I didn't mean to offend him, and I'm just trying to get shit done. On the outside, I keep my demeanor calm and act as if he didn't just react like a total sissy bitch. I just keep working on our worksheet.

Apparently, Pretty Boy is not happy with me, because he startles me by slamming his hand down on the table between us. I jump slightly and then just go back to my work, hoping that was all of his little fit, and praying he isn't going to make a scene. _It's too early for a lovers' quarrel, Pretty Boy. _

I see his body angle towards mine. _Oh boy, this should be good._

"Excuse me, but what the fuck is your problem?" he asks indignantly.

I sigh, setting down my pen I turn to make eye contact with him, so he'll know I'm telling the truth.

"Listen Edward, I'm not _trying_ to be a bitch. I just want to get this over with. I don't want a pity party; I just want to get through the next two years and get out of here. I'm sick of being treated like I have the fucking plague. I'm doing everything I can to not be stomped on in the hallways; my locker is on the other end of the school. I'm fucking tired, and I hate it here. It's cold, wet, and close-minded. So please, for the love of _whatever it is you worship, _can we just get this assignment done and stop talking? I'm sure you're a really nice guy. But I'm not here to make friends ..."

That statement was quite an oversight. I didn't actually mean to imply that he was trying to get to know me. "Not that I think you're interested in speaking to me outside of this classroom, but still. I'm here, serving my sentence; I'd like to do it on clear terms. _Comprende?_"

When I finish my speech, I don't even wait for his response. I finish the worksheet with my face aflame and my mouth closed. I didn't mean to tell him so much. He just got me all flustered, and I was trying to get him to understand that it wasn't a personal vendetta against him. I'm just really not happy right now.

After about five minutes of him staring at me, I have to break the ice. He looks like a fish out of water, and I need to make sure Pretty Boy is still responsive.

"Keep staring. I might do a trick."

He turns back around sharply and starts double checking my answers as he looks through the microscope. It kind of makes me want to stab him, but I guess I deserve it for being such a bitch to him. Just when I'm starting to effectively ignore him, he quits.

When I finish the lab worksheet, I slide it over to him - as a peace offering. I can tell he's impressed, and I decide to get out of here before he can thank me or stutter some more.

I decide the best way to get down would be to jump off of the stool onto my books, so I toss them to the floor and hop down on them, landing on my feet.

I step off of them and pick them up quickly. People are staring, but I'm beyond caring at this point. They're going to look no matter what I do.

Eventually, they'll either get used to me, or just continue to stare. I'll deal with it. I always do.

When I look up, Edward is staring at me, which irritates me.

"_What?_"

He just shakes his head and mumbles, "Nothing."

I don't bother with farewells as I walk out of the class. He's being rude anyway.

* * *

><p>Next stop:<em> Chamber Singers.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong> Thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I'm sorry posting has been slow since the first chapter, I was torn between making this one a super duper huge chapter or making it like this. Obviously, shorter won out - but that just means that chapter 3 is already finished - and will be posted in a week or so!

Thanks for reading. Reviews = Love.

-Missy


	3. Chapter 3: Born this way

**A/N: Thanks to all of you lovely readers. I'd love to hear your feedback - even if it's constructive criticism! Thank you for your kind patience, and your willingness to ride along with me on this crazy ride! **

**Big thanks to PTB, Mandy Pants, Jo, and Stef for all of their love and support! You're the chocolate chips in my cookies! **

**Also - I'm on Twitter and Facebook. My info is posted on my profile. Look me up! :) **

* * *

><p><strong>Recap from Chapter 2: <strong>

_**-Bella's POV-**_

_When I look up, Edward is staring at me, which irritates me. _

_"What?" _

_He just shakes his head and mumbles, "Nothing." _

_I don't bother with farewells as I walk out of the class. He's being rude anyway. _

* * *

><p><em>Next stop: Chamber Singers.<em>

* * *

><p><em><span>To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.<span>_

**-Suzanne Gordon**

* * *

><p>I'm beautiful in my way<br>'Cause God makes no mistakes  
>I'm on the right track, baby<br>I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret  
>Just love yourself and you're set<br>I'm on the right track, baby  
>I was born this way<p>

_**-Born this way,**_** By: Lady Gaga**

**Chapter 3: **

**Born this way **

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella's POV-<strong>_

I walk to my locker and stuff everything except for my iPod and sketch book in it. Sighing, I slam my locker shut and walk down the short hallway to the music area, which is, thankfully, on this end of the school. When I walk down the music hallway, I check each door for my class number, noting there really isn't much down this hallway. The first room to the left is the band room, and then there are a set of bathrooms and a water fountain.

To the left is the theater stage and concert center room, which is pretty impressive. This room looks like it was pretty expensive to add to the school. There are rows of seats that are double the amount you would find inside of a movie theater room, and a huge stage. Up above the top row of seats in the back is either some kind of a box for people to sit in, or a stage control room. The darkness of the room is kind of spooky, so I wander back out to the brightly lit hallway and continue down it about twenty feet, finally finding the room I'm looking for off to the left.

Surprisingly, I'm one of the first to arrive. When I walk into the classroom, it's a narrow room with lots of shelves and storage space; the narrow area suddenly opens up to a big open rectangular room about thirty feet in. There's a little office just around the corner from the narrow hallway'ish entrance, and in the open area there are risers with plastic chairs set up on them.

I make my way to the far side of the room, noticing mirrors all along the wall.

I'm not pleased when I look at my reflection; I look ragged.

I just sigh and sit down in the chair closest to the wall in the front row. I don't feel like climbing the risers today, and with my luck, the bitch from art will be in here to shove me over or something.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by someone tapping on my shoulder. I pull out my ear buds, and she introduces herself.

"Hi, you must be Isabella. I'm Angela Webber. It's very nice to meet you."

I smile at her and shake her hand. "Nice to meet you too, and please, call me Bella."

She explains how this class is run; apparently the Cullens and the Hale boy are the best in class. They're offered all of the male solos before anyone else; a lot of people are resentful. Angela, however, is different; she admires their talent and praises them for it.

She continues on about how Lauren Mallory and - _yep, you guessed it, the twat waffle herself -_ Jessica Stanley always try out, but usually get put in something a little less solo'ish. I snicker at that, and Angela gives me a quizzical look. I ignore it and let her continue explaining how things are run around here.

I look up in time to see my lab partner walk in and sit down in the back. I'm now remembering that he's one of the perfect Cullens. _Makes sense, the boy is pretty._ I shrug it off and look back to the front. The class is filling up now, and no one's really bothered me too much. Angela finally stops talking, and I pop an ear bud back in until our teacher is ready to start class.

To say I'm shocked when I see our music teacher would be an understatement. She's beautiful. Angela informs me that her name is Tanya Denali, and that she's really nice. Most music teachers are close to retirement, or beyond it, with gray hair and fifty extra pounds. Miss Denali is not. She's got fire red, curly hair and porcelain skin. She's petite but at the same time tall and curvy. Her personality is very friendly, and I'm immediately comfortable with her.

_Hmm, maybe this class won't be so bad..._

First off, the class is to start their warm ups. I listen to them for a little bit, and when I feel comfortable enough, I start in too.  
>"Do, do re do, do re mi re do, do re me fa me re do, do re me fa sol fa me re do, do re me fa sol la ti la sol fa me re do…" Angela looks over at me and smiles; I give her a little smirk back and continue on with the rest of the class.<p>

After warm ups we're handed practice sheets of music, which we are to share with the person seated next to us for this class period. Angela and I set our sheets on the black iron music stand in front of us, and we continue on practicing the new music as a class.

After about 30 minutes of singing, Miss D (as everyone calls her) tells us to just talk amongst ourselves for the duration of class. She walks up to me quickly before going into her office and asks if I'll stop in and see her after class. Apparently, she needs to go and make copies before the hour ends. I agree, and she leaves the room.

Just as I'm about to pop my ear buds back in, I hear Jessicuntbitchface Stanley and some other tone deaf bitch squawking like fucking vultures a row behind me. Their voices are like a car wreck. _You don't want to see it, but you can't look away _- well, I didn't want to hear them, but I couldn't stop listening. I just had one of those gut feelings that they were going to say something about me.

Not one fucking minute later, I hear it...

"Hey, Lauren," Jessica says in her nasty nasally voice. "Why can't _midgets_ wear tampons?"

She giggles and I. See. Red.

_For one: I'm not a _midget_. I'm a little person, or a Dwarf. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, just not a midget. _

_For two: This bitch had _better_ shut her fucking mouth. Real quick._

I cock my head to the side as I picture myself ripping out both of the stupid bitches' hair.

"Why, Jess?" Some other twat supposedly named Lauren giggles back at her.

"Because they trip over their strings!" They both burst out laughing, and I turn in my seat ever so slightly, leveling them with my nastiest glare possible.

_Fuck the stink eye... this is the death glare, bitches. _

"Hey _Pig Face _and _Super Slut_! If you don't shut your big fucking mouths, I'm going to show you just how _cool_ midgets really are and _cunt_ punch you both _so_ hard, your _mothers_ will need a hysterectomy! Got me?" My voice is low and menacing.

I notice Angela immediately slide away from me a little bit. My language must've offended her... _oops_.

I continue to stare down Jessica and Lauren in a _"You think I'm fucking kidding?"_ kind of way.

Lauren yelps, "I am _not_ a _slut_!" which totally pisses Jessica off because she gives Lauren a _"what the fuck"_ look.

Practically the entire class starts laughing at them, and I can't contain the smile that breaks free after they stomp out of class, being taunted and teased by their peers.

_Not so fun now, is it girls?_

When I'm sure they're gone, I pop my ear buds back in and lean back in my seat. I run my fingers through my hair, tucking some behind my ears and lightly scratching my scalp.

_Ugh, can't this day just be _done_? _

Suddenly an ear bud is plucked out of my ear, and I'm taken off guard. I know Angela didn't do it; she probably thinks I'm the anti-Christ or something. So I tilt my head back - so my head is practically upside down - to look behind me. I'm too lazy to turn completely around.

I see a very lovely fair-skinned girl with hazel eyes, black spiky hair, and a pixie type of figure sitting behind me with one of my ear buds in her ear. Sitting beside her is a lovely Amazonian blonde girl with ice blue eyes and a curvaceous, full figure. The pixie smiles at me as I quirk an eyebrow at her; then she hands the ear bud over to the blonde who's been trying to listen to it as well.

"Hi, Bella, I'm Alice Cullen. This is Rosalie Hale. Welcome to Forks High!" I'm stunned by her bubbly personality, and I look back and forth at her and the blonde, wondering what I should do.

It isn't like these girls really want to be friends with with me. They're beautiful, and most likely popular. _Jeez, Bella, snap out of it, they're just being friendly. _

I decide I'm being rude, so I sit up in my chair and swivel my body around so I'm sitting sideways, turning my face towards them the best I can without sitting completely backwards in my chair. "Uhm." _What did she say before? Ah fuck it._ "Hi? Thanks."

_God, I'm retarded, I'm starting to sound like Pretty Boy. Hmmm, where is Pretty Boy? _I look around and notice he's moved right behind the two girls I'm talking to.

_He's probably dating one of them. They're perfect, and he's pretty. Match made in heaven. _

"How do you like Washington so far?" the pixie, Alice, asks me.

_I fucking hate it. It's miserable, and wet, and... eh, honesty is the best policy. _

"Uh, I kind of hate it; too cold and wet..." I shake my head, not really wanting to offend her, but not knowing how to explain without doing just that. "I'm from Arizona, so it's a big transition for me. It's been a long time since I've really spent more than a week here at a time."

Apparently she's not easily offended, because she starts jabbering a million miles a minute.

"Really? I've never seen you around. You've visited Forks before? Well, we've only lived here for a few years, my brothers and I, that is. Oh shoot! I forgot to introduce you to the boys. How rude of me!" Alice swings around in her seat, looking for "the boys", and jumps when she notices the three sitting behind her.

One is a big burly guy with short, dark brown, curly hair, pretty aqua eyes, and a friendly smile; the next is my Bio lab partner- _Pretty Boy_; and the other is a taller toned guy with sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes.

"What are you guys doing? _Eavesdropping_?" Alice scolds them teasingly; she swings back around to face me.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jasper Hale, who also happens to be Rose's brother." She points at the third boy - the sandy brown haired one.

"And my brothers, Edward and Emmett. Emmett and Rose are dating." Alice gestures to the other two, and then the big one when she explains he and Rose are together.

I politely nod to each of them as they're being introduced; Jasper and Emmett both give me a little wave. And the ice king, Mr. Pretty Boy himself, stays stone faced and only gives me eye contact with a curt nod.

I see the big one elbow him in the side, and it makes me uncomfortable. _Who cares if he's a jerk to me?_ I was a bitch to him an hour ago. Not a big deal. No skin off my back. I definitely don't need the incredible hulk over there to defend me, or my honor.

Pretty Boy finally decides to speak. "We've met," he says tersely, cutting off further discussion.

_Yikes!_

And... the bell rings.

_Thank God. Hallelujah!_

Pretty boy walks out like his pants are on fire, probably to avoid his sister, who is staring daggers at the back of his head as he retreats.

I wave politely to the rest of the bunch and make my way into our teacher's office to find out what she wanted to talk about.

I only have to wait for her for about thirty seconds; she comes strolling in with a big smile on her face.

"Hello, Bella, it's nice to meet you. My name is Miss Denali. How are you liking Forks High so far?" Her smile is friendly and warm; I can't keep myself from smiling back.

"It's ok. A big change from my last school, but I'm adjusting well." I lie with a shrug; she changes the subject.

"Well, I'm not sure if you're aware, but in this class everyone is sorted into groups depending on their vocal range. The girls are separated into four groups: Soprano 1, being our highest range; Soprano 2, which is mid high range; Alto 1, is mid low range; and Alto 2, is lowest female range. The guys are divided into three groups, separated into Tenor, Bass, and a combination of the two, baritone. We don't have any Soprano/Alto mixed ranges for girls; most of the girls here in forks are strictly in a high or low range. But we do have a few mixed ranged boys, three to be precise. They make up our baritone group."

I nod at her to show I'm listening and that I understand.

"So, with that, I'll need to hear you sing. I'll play a few notes, and I'd like you to sing them back to me, so I can get a better understanding of where you should be placed. I'm sure you've done something similar in Phoenix?"

I shake my head at her and furrow my brow. "Uhm, no, actually; I only took general music, and our school was too big for our teacher to get much one on one time with us. If we wanted a solo part, we would have to try out for it. And if we participated in Solo and Ensemble, we'd get some extra credit. I never tried out or participated in it. I just pretty much showed up and sang with my class mates, and sang with them at our concerts." I shrug my shoulders and bite my lip, while waiting for further instructions from her.

She nods. "Okay, well this should be fairly painless. Just a little _Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol-La-Ti_. Let's get started, shall we? I don't want to make you late for your next class."

Miss Denali plays the notes, and I sing them back to her. She plays a few more, and I do it again, without much difficulty. Again, she adjusts the range and plays more notes. When she finishes, I do as I'm told. I can feel my face burning hot. I've never sang solo in front of anyone before, and it feels quite awkward. Usually, I have loud music playing in the background, or Renee and I are singing along with the radio. This is totally different; I feel very vulnerable in front of her.

When I look up, her eyes are bugging out of her head, and she has a weird kind of smile on her face. I'm slightly frazzled by this point and worry she's going to burst out laughing at me. I bite my lip and avert my eyes, just wanting to leave this cramped room before this goes any further. It's hard enough to be ridiculed by your peers, but to have a teacher full out laugh at you would be horrible.

_Just when I start to think the day is getting better, someone has to take a shit... right on my head. _

"_Very_ good, Bella. _Wow_, your range is... it's _remarkable_. I'm not sure we have another girl here who can match it." She's smiling so bright at me, and I'm still wondering if I'm being Punked.

_The hell?_

"Uhm... _what_?" I'm bewildered, and I'm sure it shows on my face as I stare stupidly at her, waiting for her to just finally say I can go.

"Bella, your range is astounding! I've never had a female in my class, in my _five_ years teaching here at Forks, who can sing like that. I would highly encourage you to try out for the solos coming up for the Fall concert. And Solo & Ensemble is a requirement here, so you'll need to start thinking about that too. If you'd like to work with a partner, I'm sure I could set you up with someone."

I just nod at her, dumbfounded and frazzled. "I'll get back to you."

_What the fuck? Is this lady high? I can't sing! Not well anyway... _

After being dismissed, I walk in a daze to my Gym class.

* * *

><p>When I arrive in gym, thankfully, everyone is still pretty much in the locker rooms getting changed for class. Our teacher, Coach Clapp, has informed me that I can sit out for the day, until he finds me a suitable uniform.<p>

_I kind of hope he never does... just sayin'._

I turn my _hope _into a _prayer_ when I notice the 'Incredible Hulk Cullen' is in this class. If we had any type of sport where I was up against him, I'd be toast. _No, scratch that! I'd be a fucking pancake! Dude is large... and in charge. No fucking way am I playing smear the queer with that big fucker. Hell to the NO! _

Pretty Boy Cullen is also in this class. He doesn't look very intimidating. _He'd probably cry if I broke one of his nails. _

On the bright side, Alice and Rosalie are in here too. They seemed really nice from the whole three minute conversation I was able to have with them. And the Hale boy seemed pleasant too. So did IH Cullen if we're really being technical. But his size is just a tad intimidating for me. But fuck, who am I to judge a person for his size?

I decide to give these people a chance. If they really are nice people, I don't want to go ruining the shot of an honest friendship in this school. Lord knows there are lots of assholes in the world. These people seem pretty _okay_ to me.

* * *

><p>When the day is finished, I find myself waiting forever in the guidance office for one of the counselors to assist me with my schedule fuck up. When the lady opens her office door, I can already tell that this meeting will be unpleasant. She treats me like a total invalid due to my height, which is so fucking condescending. It makes me want to punch her in the throat.<p>

I go in and sit down, and she asks me what she can help me with.

_First off, you can fix my schedule; secondly, you can go to hell._

I sit up straight and make eye contact with her, showing her I mean business. I then show her my schedule and fill her in on the Math mix up. For some fucking reason, she doesn't believe me about my previous _Math experience_ and takes ten minutes to pull up my transcripts on her computer.

_Really? Why would someone lie to get into a _harder_ fucking math class? Are you shitting me, lady?_

Finally my transcripts are located, and she gets a little huffy when she notices that I am in fact more than qualified for the class I'm requesting. However, there's a catch. In order to get me into the class I need, she has to rearrange practically my entire morning schedule, putting my math class first, History class second, English third, and my art class stays the same.

I'm slightly irritated, but I take it. Because as much as I hate change, I'd hate sitting in that Math class more. It would be boring as hell going through all of that shit over again. When she finishes adjusting my schedule, she prints out my new one and gives it to me.

"Anything else I can help you with?" she asks curtly.

I just shake my head and say, "Nope." Popping the 'P', I hop out of my seat and head for the door.

"Thanks for the help." I walk out without another word, and after a brief stop at my locker, I begin my long journey home.

* * *

><p>After walking for about ten minutes and completely freezing my ass off, I begin to curse my parents in my mind again. I'm so pissed off that they didn't just let me drive my fucking car up here myself. They always treat me like a baby, and I've had about enough of it. What are they going to do when I graduate? Then they won't be able to boss me around anymore.<p>

_Thank fuck!_

So anyways, back to freezing my ass off. I'm doing a very fine job of it when I suddenly hear a car approach. Turning sideways, I see the Cullen kid pull up in a sleek black hard top convertible.

_Volvo? I thought only old people drove those? Hmm... it's pretty sharp looking though. I'll give him that. Pretty boy has a pretty car, fitting. _

Much to my chagrin, he pulls over and offers me a ride. The independent side of me really wants to say no and keep walking. But the realistic side of me knows I'm fucking cold. And I hate it here. And he might actually be trying to be nice. And I did say I'd give them a shot. _I did mean him too, didn't I? _

I look down the sidewalk in the direction I'm headed; it doesn't look any fucking warmer up the street, that's for sure. I know the drive is at least ten minutes, so the walk would take forever! I really should just accept the ride, and then I'll walk in the morning.

I sigh heavily and nod my head in acceptance. Opening the door, I slide in and shut the door quickly, keeping the cold out.

"That's very nice of you. Thank you, Edward." It feels weird the way his name rolls off my tongue. I've never met anyone who could make such a nerdy name seem so hot before. But he could probably make a pair of suspenders look sexy; he was definitely the hottest guy I'd ever seen, in person, on TV, anywhere.

After I'm seated, he rolls my window up and turns the heat on full blast. _Thank you, baby Jesus! _ I almost moan as my seat starts to heat up and the heat blows all over my body. This is the best I've felt all day, and it's in the front passenger seat of Pretty Boy's car.

_Strange. Most people get good feelings from the back seat, not off of the heater in the front. Oh well, whatever floats my boat I guess... _

I'm startled out of my reverie when I hear his silky smooth voice ask me if I'm going to put on my seat belt.

_Gah, my house is a whopping ten minute drive, and you're going to make me put my seatbelt on? Okay, Gramps! _

I rarely wear seatbelts if I'm not driving. They're just not comfortable in other people's cars.

Out of courtesy to him, I reach back and grab the belt, trying and failing at lowering it around me. The fucking thing must be locked because it won't give, no matter how hard I pull. I sigh and yank the fucker with all of my might, and it _still_ doesn't give! I'm just about to tell him _and_ his seatbelt to kiss my ass when I hear his seatbelt unclick, and he leans across me to help me with mine.

After I get over my mild embarrassment of fighting with his car and notice his close proximity to me, I can't help but blush. His smell completely dazzles me, and it puts me into a lusty fog. I can imagine him sliding a little closer and kissing me. I bite my lip to keep myself from saying something stupid, and I turn my face towards his seat as his face practically brushes up against my neck.

I can feel the slight tickle from his wild copper hair against my ear, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I clench my thighs together and fist my hands at my sides, as he finally unlocks my belt and slips it across my torso and locks it at my hip.

I try to shake my head lightly to uncloud my mind. I take a deep breath and look out the windshield. He's refastens his seatbelt, and we're driving again.

I'm kind of shocked to see him take the correct turn without being told to do so. "Do you know where I live?" I turn to look at him.

"Yep. It's Forks. Everyone knows where everyone lives." He smirks at me, and I cringe at the thought of Jessica and Lauren knowing where I live.

_Hopefully, I don't have any trouble from those retards. I hate small towns; everyone knows everyone and all that. Not my idea of a good time, that's for sure._

I decide to do a little digging for myself. "_Nice_. Well, in _that_ case. Where do _you_ live?" I give him a knowing smirk.

"Out in the forest a ways. _We_ don't actually live _in_ town." I nod at him and absentmindedly drum my fingers against my pant legs. I really want to listen to music, or my iPod, just to make the silences less awkward.

About a minute after that discussion, we pull up to my house. I'm just about to open the door and get out, when Edward asks me why I'm walking to and from school. I tell him the story about my car not being here yet, and Charlie having to work, and Jacob offering, but me turning him down since it's out of his way, and yada yada.

He's surprised at the fact that I can drive and, surprisingly, it doesn't offend me. I'm used to people asking questions, and at least he's not being crude about it. I explain to him about the modifications I have, and in turn explain the situation with my mom and Phil. He seems intent on listening to me talk, which kind of catches me off guard.

I'm already used to being invisible to Charlie and the loner at school, so having a friendly conversation with Edward is a nice change.

_Pretty boy might actually not be too bad after all. _

The thing that makes me like him even more is when he sides with me about the entire fucked up scenario of me moving here to Forks. He also sees it's totally unfair to me, and he's not even biased on the subject. In fact, before this car ride, I was pretty sure he hated me. So we're making real progress here.

After a few more minutes of pleasant conversation, I grab my things and exit the car. He waits until I've got the door unlocked and have stepped inside before he drives off, which I think is very gentlemanly of him.

* * *

><p>I smile to myself as I shut the door. I whistle for my golden retriever, Rocky. I love this dog dearly, and I feel bad that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him this morning, due to my foul mood and Charlie being in a hurry to leave, so I decide to take him into the back yard and let him run for a while. He's a big dog, and I know this tiny house is cramping his style. It's a much smaller environment than he's used to, but I think he likes the colder climate. So we're all adjusting I guess.<p>

After I throw on one of Charlie's old heavy coats and a pair of gloves, we make our way into the back yard for about an hour's worth of fetch and running. When I see he's getting tired, we make our way back inside, and I open the fridge to see what I can fix for dinner. Charlie won't let me cook unless he's home. _I think he's afraid I'll burn the house down. _So I get things together and wait for him to get home.

While I wait, I flip on the TV to some random channel and do my homework on the coffee table.

Charlie arrives home thirty minutes later. I boss him around in the kitchen, and we eat. I clean up, standing on my trusty dusty step stool, and then I make my way upstairs to crash.

After I change and hop into bed, the first thought I have is of Edward. I quickly scold myself and tell myself not to get my hopes up. A boy like him would never be into a girl like me.

My second thought is of panic; I've just realized I have no idea where my sketchbook is, and I'm praying it's in my locker- not on the floor of Edward Cullen's car.

_Shit! I hope he isn't a nosy fucker, 'cause if he sees that drawing that looks very much like him, he's gonna think I'm a creep. _

_Fuck my life. _

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews = Love<strong>

**I'd love some.**

**-Missy**


	4. Chapter 4: Stepping Stone

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything created by SM. The only thing I own is this plot line, and the blame for giving my characters such snarky attitudes! lol

**Beta(s):** Athome Jo, PTB, & my soulmate MzBionic!

**Pre-reader:** My twifey Mandy Pants aka DreamersDaze

* * *

><p><em><span>Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.<span>_

**-****Oprah Winfrey**

* * *

><p>I don't need you<br>to be my stepping stone  
>I just want you<br>to come back home  
>Hey just be, and believe it'll be alright<br>But tonight, for tonight, uh just let it be  
><strong><br>**_**-Stepping Stone, **_**by: Pop Evil  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella's POV-<strong>_

**Ridiculous.** That is the one word that correctly sums up my morning.

I wake up late. Charlie has decided to not help me out with Rocky, so I spend an extra fifteen minutes with him in the backyard in my pajamas before I can jump in the shower.

It's freezing cold out, and my teeth are chattering as I ascend the stairs, heading straight for the bathroom. The shower barely helps warm me back up. By the time I get all washed up, I know it's time for me to get out. I don't want to leave the warmth of the water, but I don't want to be late either. I quickly say my last farewell to the steaming current flowing through my hair and down my back, and hastily search for a fluffy towel.

After my body is dry I wrestle my thick hair up into a towel and put my clothes on. I throw on a nice pushup bra, a matching pair of dark blue panties, dark blue tank top, and a warm, fitted flannel shirt on over it.

_I never thought I'd see the day where I would wear flannel to school._ Not that I'm some super snotty fashion savvy girl - I just never had the use for flannel in Phoenix.

After my top half is covered, I throw on my jeans and quickly make my way down stairs. After glancing at the clock, I quickly realize - that because I have to walk all the way to school today - I have no time to eat breakfast.

My mind is in a fog as I grab my bag and coat. Suddenly, I hear a loud knock on the door, and without much thought I swing it open to see who the hell would be at my house at this hour of the morning. I'm praying whoever it is doesn't make me later for school.

I am not, however, prepared for what I face on the other side of my door.

Edward is standing there, looking nervous yet amused as he takes in the sight of me. "Uh, good morning there, Bella."

I'm confused by the smirk on his face. I furrow my brow and look down at my appearance, checking to make sure I've buttoned my shirt and pants correctly. I still can't figure out why he's smirking, and it's starting to get on my nerves.

"Good morning, Edward. What are you smiling at? Is there something on my face?" I ask with irritation.

My hands are on my hips, and my foot is tapping the floor; I haven't had time to slip my shoes on yet.

He covers a snicker and I turn, opening the closet door in the foyer, knowing there's a full length mirror on the other side.

My cheeks burn with a deep blush when I discover exactly what has Edward amused. The towel I've wrapped my hair in is still on my head. I roll my eyes at him, embarrassed, but not wanting to show it.

"Thanks," I mutter.

Then I bend over, slipping my hair out of the towel, while I run my fingers through it. I don't have time to be self-conscious, because Edward is obviously not leaving any time soon. He steps inside and shuts the door behind himself.

"Make yourself at home," I mumble and quickly walk to the living room to find my purse and hopefully a brush.

_Today is not my day._

After a few seconds of digging through my bag, I locate my brush; I immediately start tearing it through my hair. I wince as I hit a few tangles, but I don't have enough time to slow down. After I'm done brushing it I slip a headband on my head.

I walk back out to the front door and slip my converse on. Edward is following me around like a lost puppy.

"Can I help you with something, Edward?" I look up at him, wondering why he's decided to show up at my doorstep this morning.

"Well, I was thinking; it's too cold to walk, and you're pretty much on the way to school. So, I figured I could give you a ride until your car is here. If you like?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

_Thank God that's all he wanted._

_That means my sketchbook must be in my locker; I didn't leave it in his car!_

Now that leaves me with whether or not I should accept his offer. I know he's not some freaky person. For one, he's very good-looking and so very not my type, so it's not like I've gotta worry about him attacking me or anything.

And for two, he gave me a ride home last night - so I'm pretty sure I'm safe, and he doesn't seem to have any homicidal tendencies. He and his siblings seem nice enough.

_C'mon, Bella, give people a shot. You're always coming off like a cold hearted-bitch._

_And now I'm talking to myself... awesome..._

"You're sure it's not out of your way? And what about your siblings? Don't they usually ride with you to school? I don't want to be in the way... it's really no problem. I can walk, Edward." I try to use the nicest voice possible, even though I'm extremely uncomfortable. I'm not a fan of accepting help, even though his offer is too good to be true.

He nods at me. "It's no problem at all, Bella, really."

I can't help but wonder why he's doing this. Why he's being so nice to me. I mean, what's in it for him? He should be carting around pretty girls with blonde hair, blue eyes, at least five and a half feet tall. I don't fit any of those criteria.

I twist my lips to the side and consider his offer. I vow to not look any further into it. I can be friends with Edward. I'll try to stop calling him pretty boy in my head, and we'll be lab partners. It's not like he's asking me to sit at his table for lunch or go steady or anything like that. He's offering me a ride to school because he feels sorry for me.

_Pity party, table for two please!_

_Gah, Bella, shut the hell up!_

My internal musings are interrupted when I hear him clear his throat nervously. "And... you forgot something in my car yesterday, I wanted to return it."

_Oh, shit..._

He digs into his bag for a second and hands over my sketchbook!

_Shit. Damn. Fuck. Shit._

I'm conflicted. I'm sure at one point all of the blood drained from my face, and now it feels like my entire body is on fire from the blush that has spread across it.

"I- uh- yeah- my sketchbook." I nod and snatch it from his hands. "Thanks. I thought I lost it." I attempt to be courteous, but I'm so embarrassed I'm about to fake being sick just to stay home and die in my own humiliation.

I'm guessing he either didn't _totally_ invade my privacy and hasn't looked through the book - or - he is flattered and is humoring me, because he still wants to take me to school.

I accept the ride to school and thank him profusely. I quickly stash my sketchbook up in my room and decide against bringing it to school until I'm in charge of my own transportation.

When I walk back downstairs I find Edward looking through my fridge. I can't help but chuckle when he looks at me sheepishly and rubs his stomach.

"Sorry." He grins. "I'm starving. I was just going to snag a slice of cheese or something before you got back down here, but you're too quick for me," he states playfully.

I glance at the clock and walk over to the pantry, quickly grabbing a few packages of Pop Tarts. After I stick them in the toaster, I hear a car horn sound, and I give Edward a questioning look.

"What was that?" I ask curiously.

He smiles gloriously. "That'd be Alice and Emmett. Sounds like they're getting sick of waiting. I wanted to offer you a ride to school without them eavesdropping and pushing you into it. They're, uh, excited to talk to you. Alice is her own little 'welcoming committee' and Emmett is just, well, Emmett. You'll see. Uh, and I kind of figured they'd hound you about your…book. So I hid it from them, because I figured it would be an invasion of privacy. But, I didn't know what it was when I picked it up, so I may or may not have glanced through it. Uh, I'm sorry about that. You do draw quite well, though." He's stuttering and stammering a little, and my face heats up for the thousandth time today.

I thank him politely and heat up enough Pop Tarts for us and his siblings.

Hopefully he only saw the first few sketches in the book; the one that looks oddly similar to him is further in the back.

As he follows me out, I ask him to lock the door, and we make our way to the car.

"Thanks," I murmur. I'm not sure if I'm thanking him for complimenting my artistic capabilities or for locking my door. Either one works.

I'm feeling a little better now that the air is cleared. I've got room to breathe; it's hard to do so under his gaze, especially in the tiny kitchen.

When we reach the car, I smile at Alice and Emmett as they bicker back and forth in the car. Alice scoots over and Emmett leans far forward in the seat so I can hop in. Unfortunately, he's a big dude, so his leaning forward only gives me minimal room to maneuver. It would've been much easier if I would've gotten in on Edward's side, but I prefer to keep the awkward moments to a bare minimum.

"Dude! Edward! You got Pop Tarts! I told ya we should've walked in with you! No fair!" Emmett booms cheerlessly.

I snicker and lean up, extending my hand and a set of warm wrapped pop-tarts for Emmett.

"Here ya go, I've got ya covered."

Alice guffaws in the back seat at Emmett's dreamy look and happily accepts the pop-tarts I've wrapped for her as well.

They both thank me, and we all munch appreciatively on the way to school.

I pull out my new schedule and sigh noticeably. I'm not excited to have to get used to all new class periods again. Well, at least for half of my day.

Alice leans in as I read it, and her face lights up as she cackles out a laugh. I look over to her with a look of shocked confusion on my face.

_I didn't realize I was sitting next to Elphaba back here. What the hell? Hello, Wicked Witch of the West._

"Dang, that's some laugh you got there, Alice," I murmur. Edward and Emmett snicker, and her face turns bright red.

"Sorry about that, but your schedule is just too funny!" she chirps playfully.

"Huh? Why?" My eyebrows furrow and I try to refrain from giving her the stink eye as I wait for her to clarify what exactly is so knee-slapping about my damn class schedule.

"Well, Bella, you have almost every class with Edward, except Art of course. Edward has no appreciation for art," she quips.

"Hey now, that's a damn lie, Alice, and you know it! I appreciate music. Music is art, retard," he huffs angrily.

My eyebrows raise as the two continue to bicker back and forth.

"Alice, just because I don't like the abstract shit _you_ prefer to draw, doesn't mean I don't like art. Bella has some really cool drawings," he states matter-of-factly.

"Uhm, not that I've seen much of her work. Uh, well, she draws great science diagrams…and stuff…" He trails off after a poor attempt at backpedaling.

His face flushes as he tries changing the subject, and I try to melt into the expensive leather seats.

_Fuck. My. Life._

His stammering confirms exactly what I hoped wouldn't happen. He did look through the book, and he saw the picture that looks like him.

Of course, Alice and Emmett don't take the bait on the subject change and know an awkward moment when they see one. They both shoot Edward a curious glance, and I look out the window like I'm actually interested in what I see. Which, coincidentally, is the dreary, dank parking lot of Forks Area High School.

"Oh look! We're here!" I practically shout.

As soon as Emmett pulls the door handle open, I shove his seat forward - with him still inside - and throw myself out of the vehicle.

"Thanks for the ride, guys. Gotta rush. Need to stop at my locker and find all of my new classes. Bye!" I wave awkwardly and scurry towards the building like my ass is on fire.

Upon arrival at my locker, I realize I've also somehow forgotten my iPod at home.

_Damn it!_

I rest my forehead on my arm as I lean against my locker, trying to waste time before class. Now that I know Edward is in almost all of them, I'm not in such a hurry to get there.

However, if I get there early, then maybe I'll get a seat away from him.

No dice. I take a seat in the back, and a minute later he walks in and takes the seat next to mine. To top this shit-tastic day off, Jessica Stanley is in this class as well.

_Awesome, nothing like a little taunting to get the blood flowing._

Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll keep her mouth shut.

Again... No dice.

"Hmm, I see the munchkin is still here. Maybe if you click your ruby slippers together the wizard will come take you home," she sneers at me bitchily.

My knuckles are white on the desk, and my vision tints red.

The class isn't full yet, not by any means, and the teacher isn't in here yet, thankfully. I turn my head in Jessica's direction menacingly, and she gives me a smug smile as she flips her hair over her shoulder.

"Good morning to you, too, Jessica. I'm not quite sure if you're color blind or just retarded, but I'd like to point out the fact that these are converse, as in _tennis shoes_, and I just so happen to have two on my feet. _One_ for your big fucking mouth; and if you don't learn how to shut it, I'm going to shove the other up your nasty ass."

She gives me a nasty look and says one of the only things that would seriously make me cut a bitch. "Stupid little midget_ cunt_!"

Before I know what I'm doing, I jump out of my desk and lunge at her. She screeches and tries to get up faster. In her haste she falls on her ass, and just as I get to her - I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my middle and pull me back.

I'm momentarily enraged because I haven't even slapped, swung, scratched, or screamed at her… yet.

I'm swinging my arms and kicking my legs at whoever has a hold of me. Catching me off guard, Jessica seizes the opportunity, and lunges at me. She gets a hold of my shirt, but I grab her by her hair, and I yank with all of my strength. I'm now swinging my arms and legs in her direction. It's obvious she's taken whoever is holding me off guard too.

At first I think they're helping her, but they quickly turn, trying to shield me from her. "Jessica, fucking let go of her!" they yell. My captor's turn forces me to let go of her hair, and the teacher drags her out of the room. I'm still being held by someone, and I sigh in defeat.

"Please... just let me go... I won't do anything else," I mumble dejectedly.

It's only my second day here, and I'm already so tired of this place. I'm tired of see-sawing on my emotions. At one point I get comfortable and start to adjust, and the next I'm hostile and offended. And to top it all off, I don't understand what Jessica's vendetta is against me.

My captor puts me down, and I slump in my desk with my head resting on my arms. I fight back tears, knowing they're going to call my father, and not knowing what I can say to him to make the situation any better.

When I lick my lips I taste blood, and I let out a shuddering breath, trying to resist the urge to gag from the metallic taste in my mouth. The taste of blood is foul.

I almost lose my grip on my calm facade when I feel a strong hand on my back. I try not to sniffle audibly as I look up to see who is trying to offer me comfort.

It's not really much of a surprise to me that when I look up, I see Edward. I've known him for less than twenty-four hours, been a total bitch to him, and here he is trying to offer me comfort. He's probably the one that was holding me back before. Trying to protect me and stop me from getting in trouble.

"You?" I ask softly. "Were you the one that pulled me back?" I look back down to my desk surface and trace some of the carved graffiti, not wanting to meet his eyes.

I hear him swallow, and his hand is still on my back. "Yeah, I honestly didn't think she'd come at you like that, otherwise I would have blocked her sooner. I'm so sorry, Bella. You're bleeding. Let me look at you, please."

I straighten up in my seat as he kneels down beside me. He presses his fingertips softly to my lip, and I wince a little, partly from the pain, and partly from the tingling sensation his fingers are causing. It feels like his fingers are full of static against my lips.

The entire time he inspects my face all I can think about is having him kiss my lip better again.

He tilts my face back gently and informs me that I have a bad scratch from my chin down to my upper chest.

I look down in confusion and see that Jessica has effectively ripped most of the buttons off of my flannel, so it's hanging open and my tank top is showing. I cringe and attempt to pull my top closed; my push up bra is providing me with more cleavage than I'm comfortable with showing, and I'm even more uncomfortable than before. Edward swats my hands away and pushes my shirt back open.

My face flushes, and I'm about to protest when he speaks, "Bella, I'm not trying to get frisky with you. That scratch has to get cleaned; it's pretty deep. If it doesn't get cleaned out it could get infected and leave a nasty scar."

The last thing I want is a permanent reminder of my fight with Jessica on my second day of school in Forks.

He convinces me to walk to the nurse's office with him, and our teacher asks me to go to the guidance office after I'm done with the nurse. Apparently, a few people in the class informed him of the entire situation, and the school would like me to report each incident I've had with her. I guess they take harassment seriously around here.

The walk to the nurse is awkward at best. Edward offers to carry me, and I repeatedly refuse, insisting that there is nothing wrong with my legs. I find myself reminding him that the only injuries I've sustained are on my upper body… and my pride.

As the nurse cleans me up, I convince Edward I'm fine and that he can go back to class. Eventually the nurse just tells him to get a move on, and he walks out slowly. I feel bad about it, but it's kind of embarrassing. She's swabbing my chest, and it's just too uncomfortable for me to have him nosing around.

"All finished, sweetie." She cleans up her mess and sterilizes her station before ushering me out of the room. "You take care now, and make sure you switch your bandages later. The cuts should heal within a week or so."

When I arrive at the guidance office, I'm immediately led into a different office from yesterday, and as I enter the room, Edward is walking out. I give him a perplexed look, but he just nods at me and walks out.

_I wonder what the hell he was doing in here?_

_Seeking guidance? Probably not._

This time I'm meeting with a male counselor. He's a very friendly middle aged man. He has salt and pepper hair, a thick, matching mustache, and a warm smile. He introduces himself as Mr. Bauer. His nameplate on his desk reads, _Marcus Bauer_.

I like him immediately; he's laid-back and kind. He listens as I recount the fight today, and also mentions that he's heard all about the other two incidents with "Miss Stanley."

I admit to going after her in class, and he tells me that he believes it was only because I was being provoked. I'm informed that if I fight again, I'll have to face some type of disciplinary action, but for now he is willing to let me off if I fill out a harassment complaint against Jessica. The school has to document it for their own legal purposes, and it's easier if I write out what has happened, as opposed to them performing an investigation.

I agree and request that she is not suspended or expelled. If I'm not being punished, I'd rather her not be punished too harshly either. He looks befuddled for a second but agrees to only giving her a full week of in-school suspension. After I finish filling out my statement, I'm dismissed with just enough time to gather my supplies from my first hour class before the bell rings.

I grab my bag and textbooks, and I quickly apologize to our teacher for the incident. He thanks me for being respectful and tells me not to worry about it. I'm not imagining the pity I see in his glance, but I do my best to ignore it.

The last thing I want is people feeling sorry for me. I handled myself, and I'm fine. I have butterfly bandages and band aids from my neck to my chin, and I'm wearing them with pride. My hair is a mess because my headband snapped in half during the fiasco, and I'm trying not to fall apart.

The rest of my classes until art pass in a daze.

Alice decides to snap me out of it and takes it upon herself to try to "clean me up." She puts my hair up in a high pony tail and ties my shirt together at my side. It makes my undershirt ride up a bit, exposing my hips. But I don't really care at this point. I just want to go home and sleep.

Alice has other plans.

She drags me to her table at lunch, forcing me eat comfort food from the a la carte line, "on her", and brags to everyone about the fight. Rosalie fist bumps me for my efforts, and Emmett keeps calling me "champ". Jasper tells me I look bad-ass, all banged up, and we all have a laugh at that.

Then there's Edward.

His mood fluctuates drastically. One minute he looks upset, the next he acts aloof. I think he knows how upset I was, because he's the one who saw me after it all went down. I also think he might be blaming himself for Jessica getting a hold of me. Realistically he shouldn't beat himself up over it. She and I could be missing teeth right now if it weren't for him. I owe him… big time.

When everyone is lost in their chatter, I turn to him and look him dead in the eye, so he knows I'm being serious.

"Thank you, Edward. If it weren't for you, it could've been a lot worse. Please just… don't beat yourself up. Okay? You're a good friend." Why did it feel so weird to say that? To refer to him as a friend. I don't think it's because I barely know him. I think it's because somewhere deep down, I know I'm attracted to him, and that's why I'm resisting him so hard.

I pat his shoulder and turn my attention back towards my food. It seems I've lost all interest in eating it; now I'm just simply picking it apart and throwing it around my tray. Emmett scolds me playfully, telling me I'm wasting perfectly good food.

Suddenly, he snatches my leftovers and shoves them into his mouth. I can't contain my laughter when Rosalie slaps him in the back of the head, and I'm thankful none of the food that is currently swishing around his mouth has flown out. He just chuckles good-naturedly and smiles at all of us.

Biology passes without incident. Edward is still not talking, and I'm not doing much to change it. He seems like a person who needs to sort his own problems out in his head, and who am I to bother him?

Today Mr. Banner has us watch an educational video about mitochondria while he grades our labs from yesterday.

The rest of the day passes in the same fashion; I just sort of float through it all. Edward's silence is starting to bother me. Partly because I'm worried about what he's working through in his head, and partly, because I'm an impatient bitch - and whatever's up his ass is beginning to grate on my last damn nerve. I refuse to approach him about it, though. If he wants me to know, he'll tell me. Otherwise I'll just have to try to put it out of my mind.

* * *

><p>After school is... awkward. Alice informs us she's going home with Jasper, and Emmett is going home with Rosalie. So that leaves Edward and me to ride back to my place alone. He's still really quiet, and it's making me nervous. Finally, when we're a block away from my house, I explode with verbal diarrhea.<p>

"Okay, dude, I don't know what is bugging you today. I don't know if you're usually all emo and quiet or if you're having an off day. But yesterday, I couldn't get you to shut up. You practically blabbed my fucking ear off and wanted to play twenty questions. Today, you barely utter a peep! What is going on? I don't do well with uncomfortable silence. I'm okay with being quiet, but I'm used to others talking. So… spit it out. What's up your butt, Edward? I can walk to school if you're reconsidering the ride thing. I assure you, it's not a big deal. I just need to know..." I huff and use my arms exaggeratedly throughout my entire rant.

Edward looks shocked and a little bewildered.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean... Of course I still want to give you a ride. It has nothing to do with that. I'm just… having an off day. The fight and all of that, well, I feel a little guilty about practically holding you back when she came at you. But you held your own and actually socked her a few times. Someone said she had a black eye. But still, I'm just...tired today, I think. It's been, well, interesting since you've arrived. I won't lie. But you're not hindering me at all, so shut up about the 'you don't have to give me a ride' bullshit. Because it's getting old fast. I just don't know how to act around you...  
>One minute you're nice, the next you're kind of a super bitch, and don't act like you're not. Because even you know that your mood swings could give someone whiplash. I don't want to offend you, and I've never known anyone like you - so I don't know how to treat you. You're too smart to be treated like a bimbo, but you're a girl, so I can't treat you like I'd treat Emmett or Jasper. I'm just kind of stuck.<br>And every time I think I'm covering ground and that we're actually getting along, you do something to make me second guess it. So from now on, shut up if you have nothing nice to say. And stop paying so much God damned attention to my mood swings and pay a little more to yours. If you wouldn't let people get your goat all the time, you probably could save yourself a lot of trouble. Especially with retards like Jessica Stanley."

Wait... What?

I went from curious...to slightly offended...to fucking mad and seeing red in a matter of seconds.

"Don't let people get my_ goat_? Jessica called me a _cunt!_ For _no_ fucking reason! Look, I'm sorry if you and I have different moral preferences, but no one is calling me a cunt and getting away with it! If you fucking people weren't so God damned closed-minded, and could treat me like a person instead of the _fucking plague_ we'd be just fucking kosher! And for your information, I asked for Jessica to get a lesser punishment than what the school was intending to give her. How is that for super bitch, you douche nozzle? I'm sorry that she won't be in regular classes and will be temporarily unavailable to ogle and swoon over your cock during class, but at least she'll be back in a week. You dickhead!" I seethe.

I throw my seatbelt off, hopefully hitting him with the metal part, but I'm sure that's just wishful thinking. I get out while he's still stunned and slam the car door in his face. Rushing towards the house, I unlock the door quickly but don't have time to get it closed before he shoves his foot in between the door and the jamb.

"Edward, move your foot. I have no qualms about breaking your toes." I push the door a little harder against his foot.

"Bella, you misunderstood me. Stop being such a bitch and open the door." He shoves it open a little further, and I step back. My hands are on my hips, and I'm giving him my best bitch face as he swings the door open.

"What. Do. You. Want?" I demand harshly.

"Look, is this some type of _crush_ or something? What's the big deal? You acted like a jealous girlfriend back there; I've just been trying to be nice. I wasn't hitting on you by giving you a ride to school. My Mom and Alice asked me to, and Alice wanted to get to know you better, so I agreed. You seemed nice enough. I'm sorry if you've misread anything. I'm sure you're a nice girl, but I don't do… relationships. Or anything along those lines, so I'm afraid I've given you the wrong impression."

He thinks my tantrum was about him? _Hardly_. It's about this whole fucking town. Everyone is so damn judgmental. And now he thinks I'm into him and that's why I'm such a bitch. _As if._

"Look, I'm sorry if I've given _you_ the wrong impression, Edward. But I'm just not into you like that. I mistook your silence today, thinking you were feeling bad about practically holding me back while Jessica went at me earlier, _my mistake_..."

Even I know that was a low blow, but he deserves to feel a little guilt.

"I was just trying to be a good friend and figure out what was wrong with you. Obviously it has nothing to do with me, so I'll leave you be. I won't be needing a ride to school tomorrow; I'll have a friend take me. You can exit the way you came." I dismiss him like he's a child, preparing for a temper tantrum that I'm sure is coming.

After a minute of him standing there, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, I decide to clear up the situation. "Oh, and by the way...Pretty_ Boy_... You're _not_ my type."

With that I turn on my heel and walk further into the house and find myself entering the kitchen. I know he hasn't left yet, because the door hasn't closed; I'm slightly miffed that he's letting all of the cold air inside.

Then I hear him. "Pfft, please! And what _exactly_ is your type, Bella, if you don't mind me asking?" There he is, all cocky and snarky. He's even rocking his crooked grin.

_This should be fun._

I turn to find him standing in the kitchen doorway. "Well, for one, I'm not into _gingers_; for two, you're too short for me; and lastly, I like the tall, dark, and handsome type. Not the brooding, _boyish_, immature, player type. Sorry, Peaches." I can't fight the smirk that crawls onto my face as I see his cocky crooked smile falter at my words.

I walk past him, hold the door open, and smile as he stomps out.

I quickly shut and lock the front door. Then I wander through the house looking for Rocky. I find him shortly after, sleeping in my bedroom. I let him outside through the backdoor off of the kitchen and play fetch with him, much like last night.

Around 4:30 Charlie comes home; it's a bit early for him to be done with work so I meet him at the front door, worried something's wrong.

My nerves subside when I notice he has a pizza box in one hand and a bottle of diet caffeine-free Pepsi in the other. At least he pays attention to what I like. I grab the soda from his hands and walk into kitchen to grab a glass. He follows behind me.

"So... I got a call from the school today, Bells."

_Damn it!_

"Oh, really?" My face flames and I try to act aloof, hoping he'll realize it isn't a big deal and leave it alone. I glance over at him out of the corner of my eye.

"You were fighting?" He looks curious, as though he doesn't believe what they told him. I see him taking inventory of me, searching for any signs of damage. He obviously can't see my neck and lip from where he's standing.

"Well," I start, unsure of what to say. I can't lie to him. I'm just not that type of person, but I hesitate because I know he's going to be disappointed in me for starting the fight. I decide to just get it over with.

"I sort of… got in a fight with Jessica Stanley in my English class today," I mumble softly, humiliated and worried about my future prospects of seeing the light of day outside of school. The grounding that I'm sure will follow this conversation will probably be extensive.

"And you started it?" He still sounds like he's going to start laughing any second. It's obvious the school didn't describe the entire situation to him.

I turn to face him, making eye contact with him. I can tell the moment he takes in my busted lip, scratched up neck and chest, and ripped shirt. His gaze goes from amused to furious.

"What the hell happened to you, Bella?" The anger in his tone makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Uh, you see...well Char- Dad! Sorry, er, uhm, well..." I sigh in frustration at my ineptitude of explaining the story properly.

I sit up straighter, trying to force a confidence I don't feel.

Finally, I get a hold of my nerves and lock eyes with him again, ready to plead my case. "There are certain names you just don't call someone, names you don't call a woman or girl. And well, Jessica has been razzing me since I started, which I know was just yesterday, but the bitch gets on my nerves! Er, sorry. The girl is a huge pain in my a-butt. And well, she has some unwarranted vendetta against me or something." I shrug, completely annoyed with the entire situation.

The concern I see in his eyes makes me want to cry; I feel unworthy of his concern.

"What happened, Bells? The whole story," he demands as he steps a little closer, inspecting me for any more damage. When he's confident that there isn't any, he grabs the pizza and drinks, and ushers me into the living room.

"Well, Jessica has been making midget jokes, and just, really snarky, rude comments for the past two days. I figured yesterday it was because I was new, and maybe she was trying to intimidate me because it was my first day and whatever, but today she started in again. So when I gave a little back to her, she called me a… well… a… a 'stupid little cunt'."

I use air quotations and everything, trying to explain as best I can.

His eyes are wide and angry; I'm just waiting for steam to fly out of his ears. I continue on before he interrupts me with questions.

"And well, after that I sorta lost my shit. Before I knew what I was doing, I jumped out of my seat and lunged at her, and she pretty much lost her balance when she tried to get out of her desk, which resulted in her falling on her ass. Edward Cullen grabbed a hold of me to try to keep me away from her, I guess, and her away from me. But she got up and came at me. She grabbed me by my hair, and Edward still had me up in the air, so I swung at her a few times and kicked her.  
>Edward ended up swinging me around so he could get her off of me, and the teacher and some other kid yanked her out of class. I guess she's got a black eye and a cut up nose. She's being punished with a week's worth of in-school suspension for provoking and harassing me. They're letting me off this time. Although, I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm being let off is because some of my classmates explained what she had been doing. All of the taunting yesterday and the name calling today. So… I guess I got lucky?"<p>

I decide not to tell him about Edward going into the guidance counselor's office and sticking up for me. The less I bring up Edward, the fewer questions I'll have to answer.

I bite my lip and let my eyes trail around the room, taking in all of the cobwebs I'll need to sweep down with the broom when I finally get around to cleaning the house.

_Geeze, does this man never clean? This place is a pig sty. Yuck!_

My eyes turn back to Charlie; he's gaping at me, sort of resembling a fish.

I am not expecting the words that fly out of his mouth.

"Well, you should be let off! That girl has no right! I'll bet she's a big jabber jaws just like her mother! Town gossip, that woman is. Good for nothin'! You don't deserve that kinda treatment, Bells. I have half a mind to pull you right out of that school and transfer you up to La Push. I bet Billy could pull some strings-" he says in a frenzy.

And this is my cue to interrupt him.

"No! No, I'm just starting to make friends. I'm getting settled quite well considering everything else. I promise, as long as Jessica stays away from me, I have no intentions of having any contact with her. I like Forks High, Dad, really. Just…give me a little more time, please?"

I can already tell he's not going to argue with me.

"Alright, Bells, but I still think I should go have a word with your principal. Or maybe even pay a visit to the Stanley residence. She needs to know this type of behavior is not okay, especially for her to treat my daughter like that." His voice gets all gruff.

"You're a great girl, Bells, don't let what anyone else says get to you. They don't know _shit_."

I'm completely taken aback by the fact that another curse word has effortlessly flown out of Charlie's mouth. And also by the fact that he has complimented me more in the last five minutes than he has my entire life. My eyes must be huge right now, showing all of the shock I feel, because the next thing I hear out of him is a deep belly laugh.

After a minute I start to giggle with him; it's nice to see him looking so carefree after such a serious conversation.

I pat him on the back and pick up my slice of pizza; assuming our conversation is over, I turn my attention to the TV.

After a couple of minutes he speaks again. "So, Bells, how'd the walk to school go today?"

_Ugh, so much for not mentioning anything else about Pretty-Ward._

"I didn't walk, actually. Alice Cullen and her siblings gave me a ride to school." _Maybe if I just mention her, he'll forget I'm bringing Edward up again._

"The Cullens? I didn't know you knew them that well. They seem like good kids. Their parents are really nice people. I haven't had any trouble from any of them. Although I hear ol' Edward is a bit of a young Casanova around here. Watch out for that one, Bells, he's a heartbreaker."

I fight to roll my eyes. _My what a large title for such a little boy, especially in such a booming metropolis like Forks. Edward Cullen sure has made a name for himself._

"Dad, Edward seems okay. We're lab partners in Biology, so I can't really avoid him. He's been fine thus far." _Lie. Truth. Lie. The less Charlie knows, the better._

"We don't really talk. We just do our work and that's it. I do like Alice, though, and Emmett seems nice too." I nod as I talk.

"Emmett? He's the big one, right? He plays on the football team. Alice seems like a good girl. It wouldn't hurt you to hang around a nice girl like her. Better than Stanley, that's for sure." He grits out Jessica's last name like it's a dirty word, and I just pat his shoulder again.

"Are the Cullens going to give you a ride tomorrow, too? If not I think I could go in late again..."

I shake my head quickly. "No, I…forgot to make plans with them, but I was thinking about asking Jake for a ride. I haven't talked to him since I got here. I'm excited to see him again."

Charlie smiles at this. "Good idea, Bells. He'll be thrilled to see you."

We finish our food in silence. Once Charlie gets tired of flipping through channels, unsuccessfully searching for a sports game, he settles on a western, and I decide to turn in for the night.

* * *

><p>After I toss my paper plate and clean up the pizza, I excuse myself to my bedroom. I sit down on my bed and take a deep breath as a bit of shame starts to creep up on me for how I treated Edward earlier.<p>

I can't completely regret my bitterness, though. It's all I have to protect myself. If I started to really care about Edward and he found out, I know he'd use it against me.

It wouldn't be for something normal either, like some fling or one-night stand; he'd end up worming his way into my life through the guise of a relationship, wanting to get to know me.

Once he moved on and found another distraction, I'd be hurt and even more bitter. So as I said, I need to cut whatever cord he is trying to develop before I get hurt.

People like Edward Cullen do not give people like me rides to school, or do favors for them, or compliment them in any way. If it weren't for our classes, we'd never cross paths. Okay, that's a lie. It's Forks for crying out loud - of course we'd cross paths, but it'd never be anything more than a friendly nod and a simple "hello," at the most a polite conversation about the weather while bumping into each other someplace neutral.

And now his sister and her best friend are curious about me as well. They seem very polite - and I feel bad for questioning their motives. But I'm not a fan of being the shiny new toy to Forks High. Before meeting the Cullens and the Hales I had planned to live my next two years in relative silence while attending Forks High. They've been making it very difficult for me thus far.

I'm getting sick of my own inner monologue, so I grab my cell and text Jake, hoping to diffuse some of my anger and guilt.

**Hey Jake - it's Bella. Could I have a favor?**

About a minute and a half later, I receive a response.

**Hey B watsup?**

Of course, Jacob had to use annoying text-speak.

**Well, I was wondering. I'm sorry for such short notice, but do you think you could give me a ride to school tomorrow?**

I look around my room. It'll definitely be getting cleaned this weekend. Finally I hear my phone chirp.

**Sure thing bells. C u at 745 AM.**

I sigh with relief. No walking tomorrow, Yesss!

**Thanks Jake! See you tomorrow.**

I walk over to my dresser and plug my phone in. I decide to just sleep in a t-shirt and panties for the evening. So I change quickly, brush my teeth, use the restroom, and hop into bed.

I get comfortable and warm, with the promising thought that tomorrow is a new day. I fall asleep reading one of my favorite books.

* * *

><p><em>-<em>_**Edward's POV-**_

What a bitch!

First she tries to give me a pity party and is feeling all bad for me, then she acts like a jealous girlfriend, then she cools off like nothing has happened and insults me! She's a good liar, though, and I know she's lying too, because what girl doesn't want this? And the _ginger_ comment. Pfft... Every girl likes a guy with hair like this. She's just covering her own ass.

_Hmm...__And now I'm thinking about her ass... Great..._

I never thought Bella would be the type to play hard to get, but if that's what she really wants...

_Game on, Swan._

I'll send her on an emotional roller coaster. She thinks she's good at playing hot and cold? Well I'm better. I practically invented that game.

The funny thing? I'm not even doing it to get laid; I'm doing it to prove a point. No, I'm definitely _not_ sleeping with her; Bella Swan is the last person I want to get involved with sexually. But I will get her to admit that I'm attractive. One way or another.

Besides, what harm could a little flirting do?

I walk inside my house with a huge cocky grin planted on my face, only to be stopped by my brother and Rose. I hadn't anticipated them being here, figuring they'd be at her house christening every room there. I guess they were giving Alice and Jasper free reign today.

Emmett wants to know what's up with my smirk, and it just makes me all the more smug about my plan. I have to tell someone...gloat.

Rosalie excuses herself to the bathroom, and when she goes I sit down and quickly run through everything that happened today, everything that Bella and I said to each other, and I tell him what I plan to do.

"Edward, seriously? Aren't enough people fucking with her already, and now you're busting at the seams to get a piece of her? That's kinda cold man." He shakes his head at me and looks less than impressed.

"Emmett, put on your big boy pants and listen to me. Bella is tough; she can handle other people's jabs and jokes. But she all out insulted me and sent me off like I was a little school boy.

_That just doesn't happen. Ever._

Even if she isn't interested in dating me, I know she's at least thought of me naked. Who hasn't?" I give him a serious look and arch my brow, waiting for him to argue with me.

"She seems like a cool chick to me, Edward. I don't want any part of her getting hurt; in fact, I will not let you hurt her intentionally. Flirt with her, get her a little hot under the collar, whatever, but do not just up and drop her like a hot potato, otherwise, forget about it. Oh, and if Rose or Alice finds out about this, they'll gut you. Just so you know. They plan to be spending a lotta time with her in the near future, unbeknownst to her."

"Wow, Emmett, that's kind of a big word for you... I'm impressed." I pat him on the shoulder and head for the kitchen as he grumbles something about Alice giving him a word of the day.

_Poor Alice. she's wasting her time there. He'll totally forget that word in a day or two._

Just as I open the fridge I hear Rosalie's voice address Emmett in the living room. "Wanna go upstairs with me? I'll give you a massage."

I can practically hear his tongue wagging from the other room. My appetite is gone, so I go downstairs to the media room, while they go upstairs to his bedroom.

_At least I won't be able to hear anything down here._

The next morning my siblings and I ride to school in silence. Alice is mad that Bella isn't riding with us anymore, and she knows we got into an argument. I tried explaining it, but she kept interrupting me, calling me a pigheaded jerk. So eventually I just stopped trying.

She's sitting in the backseat, pouting like a petulant child. I ignore her. Emmett doesn't say anything; I'm sure he's still a little apprehensive about my plan. I'm wondering if it was a bad idea to tell him. I doubt he'd say anything, though.

The only time he can't lie is if he's drunk, or is being asked directly about something. Considering he and I are the only two aware of my plan, there's no one else left to ask him about it.

_Flawless._

I walk into the school with Emmett and stop in my tracks. Bella is being escorted in by two huge kids from the La Push reservation. That is the only place these two could be from; they're huge, have russet skin, and are stocky as shit.

They both seem to be hanging on Bella's every word. I don't know why, but it kind of irritates me. I mean, why is she getting along with them so well, and she can barely hold a conversation with me?

Right now her face is so carefree and happy, she's even blushing as they bend down to hug her before they leave.

What do they have that I, Edward Cullen, do not?

Just then the words _tall, dark,_ and _handsome_ run through my mind.

_Game on, Swan, game on._

* * *

><p><strong>Story Recs:<strong>

Under the Boardwalk: by Robicorn  
>Link: http: www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6462633/1/Under_the_Boardwalk  
>Summary: With the summer brings new people, and with the fall, an empty space they once were. See what happens when Bella meets Edward and one harmless lie turns thier world upside down. TabooTeacher student. lemons. Be warned.

Once Upon A Desire: by bornonhalloween  
>Link: http: www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6814757/1/Once_Upon_A_Desire  
>Edward's discovery of Bella's hidden cravings changes everything. Will she give up what seems to be the right choice and give in to her heart's true desire? A modern day, twisted DS Cinderella story told in alternating BPOV and EPOV drabbles.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thank you so much for reading, and sticking by these crazy teenagers.

**Reviews = Love**

Love,  
>Missy<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: Tall, Dark, & Handsome x2

_Nature is at work.. Character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives us love and hate, jealousy and reverence. All that is ours is the power to choose which impulse we shall follow._  
><strong>-David Seabury<strong>

* * *

><p>We don't get along that well<br>Not much for talk  
>But you're hot as hell<p>

I have to fake it  
>I'd leave if I could<br>I'm not in love  
>But the sex is good<br>You can't mistake it  
>Because it's understood<br>I'm not in love  
>But the sex is good<p>

_**-The Sex is Good,**_** by: Saving Abel **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella's POV-<strong>_

I actually woke up early, and so far my mood seems fine. Today might be okay after all.

I do my morning routine of letting the dog out and showering. For some reason I decide to wear clothes that are a little nicer today. They may even be considered sexy or edgy; I feel like showing off some of my attitude.

Just because I'm short doesn't mean all I'll ever wear are flannel shirts and hoodies.

_Even though they're the most comfortable clothes, ever. _

I go through my closet and decide on a sleeveless black button-down top with a nice black push-up bra; it shows a bit of my cleavage, but it's not whorish. I'm way too classy for that. I button up the vest three-quarters of the way, leaving the top three buttons undone for comfort and style. This just so happens to showcase my gnarly scratch bitch-face Stanley gave me the day before. But I think it looks badass. I chuckle to myself.

For some reason, it feels like Edward and I have reached some sort of impasse, and it feels like it's time to up the stakes. I know for a fact Pretty Boy is not the type to take rejection or insults well.

Today should be fun.

_I don't know what game you're playing, Cullen, but count me in._

I'm not trying to seduce the poor bastard, but I will make him take me seriously. He thinks I'm crushing on him? _Pfft, more like wanting to crush him._ I hate arrogant people, and Edward is definitely arrogant. He's no better than me, or anyone else in that high school, except for maybe Jessica and Lauren. I'll give him _that._

_Time to knock him off his high horse, Bella._

I decide to go commando, because the pinstripe pants I decide to wear are so form-fitting you'd see panty lines. And I'm not all about showing a thong string to the world.

_Yuck._ _Who finds that sexy?_

After hooking my sleek belt around my waist, I slip my black boots on and pull my pants over them.

I decide to wear makeup today. I give myself smoky eyes, adding shimmer, bronzer, and a nice layer of eyeliner. It accentuates my brown eyes perfectly.

I then line my lips, adding color, and a layer of gloss for a fuller effect; not that I need it, but I'm pulling out all stops today, and I've got time to kill.

I pull my bangs back and pin them with a couple of bobby pins. I'm not agile enough to maneuver a curling iron or hair straightener with my short arms, and my pony tails always end up looking atrocious. So this will have to do.

* * *

><p>I finish blending a breakfast shake, pouring it into a thermos; I feed Rocky and get all of my things together before Jacob arrives.<p>

It's nice not to be in a hurry for a change.

When I hear the doorbell ring, I walk briskly to the door. Once I open it, I'm not surprised to see Jacob and his friend Paul standing there with big shit-eating grins on their faces.

"Hello, boys." I smile at them and let them into the house.

"Hells Bells!" Jacob catcalls, and I laugh as he picks me up and wraps me in a hug.

Paul and I hug too, and it's kind of awkward for me. Last time I visited Jake, he informed me that Paul thought I was _cute_. It seems Paul has a reputation for trying _new_ things. Things as in, sleeping with various types of women.

And because I'm little, he thinks he needs to check me out, see how I do things... _So not happening, Buddy._ _You're barking up the wrong tree, my friend._ Don't get me wrong - Paul is hot. Like... very, very hot. But he's been around, and I'm not all about that. I'm not a one-hit wonder.

I turn my attention back to Jacob and can't help but grin. His happiness is contagious.

"Do you boys always travel in packs or what?" I playfully jab at him.

Jacob chuckles. "Well, if you must know, when I told Paul I was giving you a ride to school today, he demanded I bring him alon-" Suddenly Paul shoulder bumps Jake, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence.

My face flushes slightly, but I figure I should face this demon head on.

"Paul, don't you have a girlfriend yet?" I smile at him, praying the fucker will say yes.

He shakes his head. "Nah, you know how I am, Bells. I'll never settle down."

My eyebrow quirks. "Kid, you're seventeen years old. Eventually you'll find a flavor you like and stick with it. Probably won't be for a while, but you will. I, however, am not that _flavor_—nor will I ever be. Trust me; we little _women_ have the same anatomy as regular _women. _No special buttons or extra bonuses. Mmm'kay?"

Both of the boys jaw drops, and I begin to laugh. "What? It's the truth!"

After the laughter ceases, I grab all of my stuff and throw on my black leather jacket. We make our way outside, and I admire Jake's new project.

"Nice truck."

He's driving an old red Chevy; it looks like it has seen better days, but it's also very Jacob. The inside is white leather, and it smells of polish, rain, and chewing tobacco?

I'm sitting in the middle, because I "have no legs" as Jake so eloquently put it.

"Jake, when did you start to chew?" I try to keep my tone light, even though I find chewing repulsive.

"Don't look at me, Bells." Jake holds his hands up in surrender, and then nods to my other side at Paul.

My face whips toward him, and he gives me a cocky smirk, thinking his disgusting habit would somehow make me swoon over him. _Wrong._

"Ick, yup—that seals it. You're definitely not getting into these panties, 'er... pants, buddy."

Jake cracks up laughing, and I crank up the radio before Paul can respond.

_It wouldn't be anything intelligent anyway._

Pop music fills the air. I grin and start to sing along immediately.

**"Black dress, with the tights underneath, **

**I got the breath of her last cigarette on my teeth**

**and she's an actress, but she ain't got no need.**

**She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back East.**

**T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,**

**while my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth.**

**T-tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef...**

**That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!"**

I point my finger at Jake during that last part, and I continue on again.

_**"She wants to touch me, whoa; **_

_**she wants to love me, whoa! **_

_**She'll never leave me, whoa! whoa! oh! oh!**_

_**Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho, **_

_**won't trust a ho that won't trust me.**_"

Every time I sing "don't trust a ho," I motion toward Paul. Hopefully I'm not offending him; it doesn't seem like I am. It seems like he likes the attention. Jacob and I crack up laughing at him. It's like he doesn't realize I'm totally ripping on him.

By this time, all three of us are obnoxiously dancing in the seat while I sing along and gesture provocatively with the lyrics. I feel so free with Jake; he's the brother I never had. I love having fun like this with him. I can do this kind of stuff with him and not feel stupid or insecure, because he's a good friend.

I sure have missed him.

* * *

><p>We arrive at the school, speakers blaring crazy rock pop music, and I've calmed down quite a bit. I've drunk all of my breakfast, and I'm ready to start my day.<p>

Unfortunately, last night Charlie made a little phone call of his own to La Push and filled Billy in on my boxing match with ass-can Stanley and also left instructions for Jacob to escort me into school. At first I was mortified since the last thing I want to do is draw more attention to myself. But these guys are my friends, and if I'm out in Forks with them some other time, people will see us anyway. Plus, maybe this way people will stop fucking with me. It definitely has its advantages.

_What more could a girl want? Two tall, dark, and handsome boys...escorting her to her locker...wait a minute... _

I feel my grin spread wide across my face when a part of mine and Pretty Boy's conversation from yesterday flashes through my mind.

_Tall...dark...and handsome...hmmm...I am definitely using these boys to my advantage. _

Jacob parks the truck and the engine backfires. They both hoot and holler out a really loud laugh, and I can't help but throw my head back and cackle out loud with them.

_They're such dorks! I mean... who shows off and thinks it's badass when their truck backfires in a packed school parking lot? These guys!_

I decide to hop out on Jake's side of the truck, slightly terrified Paul is going to try to touch me again. You can imagine my surprise when Jacob grabs a hold of me and throws me over his shoulder, knocking the wind out of me as my stomach comes in contact with his muscled shoulder and back.

"Ahhh! Fuck! Jake, you had better put me down! Jake, please! Oh my God, this is _so_ embarrassing! What is wrong with you? You're like a caveman! Please, Jake, _please!_ Jake... I have to fix my pants. _Seriously!_ I'm about to show cheek to the whole school, and it won't be facial!" I feel a few hard slaps on my butt and one really hard one, which I can only determine has come from Paul. Because as dumb as Jake is, he's just not that dumb.

My body goes still and my voice is eerily calm. "Jacob Black, if you do not put me down right fucking now, you will be castrated. I will junk punch you! I'm not afraid. And I am at the perfect height."

He puts me down immediately. I take a second to straighten my hair and clothes, then without warning, I drop my bag and haul ass after Paul. He doesn't even realize Jake has put me down yet, so when I run up behind him and punch him as hard as I can in the ass, it takes him totally off guard.

My hand aches, but the girlish scream Paul lets out when my fist connects with the center of his ass is _totally_ worth it.

"How do ya like them apples, sugar?" I grin and high five Jake as he catches up with us. He carries my stuff for me until we reach my locker.

We joke and talk a little bit longer, and I give the boys a hug goodbye. At this rate, they'll already be late for school, but they don't seem to mind.

I grab my class materials and head off to first period.

* * *

><p>I walk into class like I own the place, my head held high, my walk confident<em>. I am Bella, hear me roar. Woman power. No time for Pretty Boy's bullshit.<em> I take a seat in the back, and today, no one fucks with me.

I completely ignore Pretty Boy during all of my morning classes. I can feel him watching me, but I pay him no mind. I figure the best way to piss him off is to pretend he doesn't exist. Plus, if I'm _so into_ him, wouldn't I at least look at him? Well, I'm not going to!

* * *

><p>When I walk into art I feel like I can finally relax. Edward is not in this class, and I'm finally able to focus on shit I enjoy spending time on. Not linear equations, or subject predicates. Just art, craft, imagination, and—now that Jessica won't be in classes all week—peace.<p>

I'm slightly disappointed to find out our art teacher is sick today, so we get a free period. We're allowed to use it as study hall, or a free day. I choose the latter.

Alice unfortunately has other plans. As soon as our instructor stops speaking, she whips her head in my direction and turns her chair to face me. I act as if I don't notice her, praying she'll take a hint and leave me alone—of course she doesn't.

"Bella! What the hell happened between you and Edward?" I internally cringe; Alice is obviously not the type to beat around the bush.

I chew on my lip a few seconds as I pretend to be fascinated with the black table top in front of me. "Well, we had a bit of a falling out." That sounded stupid even to me. Edward and I have known each other a total of three days, what the hell kind of "falling out" could we have possibly had? God, I'm such a moron.

I mentally face-palm myself. _Such a dumbass, Bella. _

Considering my own answer didn't satisfy myself, it doesn't surprise me to hear Alice's snarky response.

"Cut the shit, Bella. I know you guys fought. He's a dumbass, so it's impossible _not_ to fight with him. I want to know why you guys fought."

I sigh, completely irritated with her and ready to give her a complete bitch face when she starts running her fingers through my still slightly damp hair and pulling the bobby pins out.

"What the hell, Alice?" I try to duck away from her, but her pesky little fingers are wrapped in my tresses, and it actually feels really good, so I decide to just hold still and let her do what she wants.

"Do not make me look retarded, got it?" I demand, only slightly joking.

"No retarded hairdos. Got it! Now, you talk while I give you a French braid."

I give up on the hope of being able to get anything done this hour, spinning my rings around on my fingers as I speak to Alice.

"Okay, don't get mad, but, your brother is a jackass..." I start, waiting for her to yank my hair out or get mad. She doesn't which actually surprises me.

"No shit, Bella. Please tell me something I don't already know, like, what is going on with you two, and who were those hunky boys who brought you to school today." I could hear her teasing tone, and I blush scarlet realizing everyone is probably wondering why they were here with me when they didn't even go to this school.

"Okay, Alice, first things first. Edward and I sort of got into an argument after school yesterday. He was being all silent and brooding, and it was starting to irritate me. I thought it had something to do with the fight between Jessica and me, so I assured him I was all right and he had nothing to worry about. Well, he got all cocky and arrogant about it, so I snapped at him. Then he said the whole thing was my fault—Jess and my fight. So then I _really_ snapped at him, and he said I was acting like a jealous girlfriend... which _really_ pissed me off even more, so then I delivered a very important piece of information to him, and he stormed out of my house." I shrug noncommittally.

"You _cannot_ just leave me hanging like that, Bella! What did you say to him? You're leaving so much out! I want _all_ of the juicy details."

When she finishes my hair, she sits down beside me and urges me to continue. "Go on."

"I informed him that I was not interested in him, or attracted to him. He didn't take it very well. I also told him I liked tall, dark, and handsome guys, and that I wasn't into _gingers_. He seemed deeply offended." I snicker.

Alice guffaws so loud it's slightly embarrassing, but I follow her loud giggles with some of my own. Our laughter is uncontrollable, and tears are rolling down my face.

She heaves, trying to talk through her laughter. "So let me get this straight—first, you brush him off like he's some little brat, you make fun of his hair—which has _never_ happened before just so you know—and _then_ you show up to school with a couple of tall, dark, and handsome men on your arm?" Then she completely loses it; I shush her but it's no use. She's laughing hysterically now.

My face flames as I nod my head. "Yeah, pretty much." I gnaw on my lower lip and glance around the room awkwardly, looking for eavesdroppers; thankfully I find none.

I'm taken off guard by Alice's surprisingly strong pat on the back as her tears subside and her chuckles die down. Her face is red and blotchy and some of her makeup has run down her face. She notices my shock and quickly grabs her purse to touch up her makeup. I roll my eyes at her. It's almost as if she can read my mind. _Quirky pixie_.

I sigh, deciding it's time to finish the story. "Jake and Paul are just friends. My dad asked them to give me a ride to school today and keep an eye out—in case Jessica decided to start shit again." I roll my eyes.

"I guess he knows I'm not making friends very fast and was probably worried about me." I shrug. "No biggie, I'm more of a 'suffer in silence' person anyway." I turn back to the table, with the intention of listening to the radio and doing some drawing.

"Unacceptable. You're not gonna be a loner boner anymore. You're gonna hang with me and Rose from now on. We like you, and no one bothers us, so they won't bother you either."

My eyebrow rises at her. "Alice, are you asking me to be your new BFF?" I mock her.

She slaps me playfully. "Uh huh, sure am, Belly-Boo." Her grin grows immensely.

My eyebrow furrows at this. "Well then, don't call me that... and don't refer to me as male genitalia. Loner Boner? _Really?_ Jeesh, Alice, you're a weirdo." I smile at her. "You're sure you're not doing this out of pity? Like your brother and his offers of transportation." I sneer at her.

She shakes her head rapidly. "No way! You're too cool to pity, and if Edward had half a brain, he'd see that too. I'm fairly surprised he hasn't tried getting in your pants. I'd do you, you know, if I was a dude." She smiles mischievously.

"Nope, no sexing me up. I don't fit the criteria. I've got no STDs, no easy sign on my forehead, no revolving door connected to my vagina, and there's _no_ way in hell I'd sleep with him." We both snicker.

A few minutes later, the bell rings, releasing us to our lunch period.

* * *

><p>After stopping at our lockers, Alice and I walk to lunch together. Just as we're about to walk inside the cafeteria, Rose comes running up to us and drags us into the girls' bathroom.<p>

She quickly confirms that we're alone before she starts talking.

"Oh my God! I've been busting at the seams to talk to you two together! Edward has got some weird-ass plan going on! I overheard him explaining it to Emmett last night. He's going to try to flirt big time with you, Bella. Like all out, pull out all the stops, flirt...then he plans to get you to admit you're into him, and he's basically just out for an ego boost. We've so got to show him up."

I take in everything she's saying, and Alice stares at her, wide-eyed, and for the first time ever, speechless.

Rosalie starts again, "Okay, I know I don't know you very well, Bella, but you seem like a chill chick, and Emmett and I have decided you need to beat him at his own game. Edward is too damn full of himself. He needs to be taken down a peg or two."

Alice snaps out of it and nods her head furiously. "Yes! Yes, good plan, Rose! Emmett's in on it? I thought he was on Edward's side, ooh we're going to crush him! Edward that is—we're going to crush Edward!" She pounds her fist into her hand and continues to nod her head, totally in the zone.

This makes me a little nervous. "Guys? I'm all for this whole crushing Edward scenario." I pause. "But what exactly does it entail? I'm not a slut... I'm not quite sure I'm up for the task." I chew on the corner of my lip apprehensively.

"Girl, you're going to be hanging with us now. We've got your back," Alice states matter-of-factly.

Rose smiles at me. "You've got nothing to worry about, Bella. Emmett will keep me posted, and we'll be with you every step of the way."

I nod in agreement. They start fussing over me like mother hens, touching up my makeup and straightening my clothes. Rose even goes so far as to unbutton one more button on my vest, down toward the bottom, to show a little stomach. She grins wickedly at me.

Alice hops up and down while clapping her hands. "Go get 'em, Tiger!" Rose bends over to swat my ass as I exit the bathroom.

_Deep breath, Bella. You figured he was up to something. You can handle this. If he wants to play games, we'll play games. _

_Game on, Cullen._

As we reach the commons entrance, I grab my iPod and shove one ear bud in my ear. I scroll down to Saving Able's_, "_Sex Is Good" and I hit play.

"Let's do this." I smile and lead the way.

I walk into the cafeteria flanked by Alice and Rose. Everything feels like it's moving in slow motion, and the music is definitely offering the confidence I need for the moment. I glance over at our table just long enough to see the shock of copper hair. He's sitting at our table, wrapped up in his conversation with Emmett and Jasper. Emmett's back is to me, Jasper doesn't look happy, and Edward looks like he's going back and forth between annoyed and amused.

We skip the table and walk right up to the lunch line; we have to wait behind four or five people. I turn to confer with the ladies and see what they make of the conversation currently going on between the boys.

"Pretty sure he's relaying _the plan_ to Jasper right now," Rose states as she watches them. I agree with her; thankfully, Jasper doesn't look interested in cooperating. He probably knows Alice would kill him. She's a feisty one, that's for sure.

"Jasper knows he wouldn't get sex for a year if he went along with something so ridiculous," Alice claims.

I gape at her. "A year?"

_Even I think that's a bit harsh, and I'm the one Edward is scheming against._

She nods her head. "Yep, a whole year. I don't put up with any bullshit. I've got toys if he misbehaves."

Rosalie agrees with her and I chuckle at them.

We get our food and walk back to the table_. _I sit on one side of Emmett, Rose takes the other seat next to him and Alice is between me and Jasper; Edward is directly across from me.

"Lookin' good, Bella." Emmett's the first to greet me and Rosalie giggles at him.

"Thanks, Emmett." I decide to be polite. I figure it'll make Edward look like more of a prick.

"Hmmm, I thought it was against school code to show your midriff at school. I'm surprised your dad let you leave the house like that," Edward snaps condescendingly.

I sneer at him and suddenly feel Alice pinch the side of my leg.

"Actually, Edward, all she's gotten are compliments. And I haven't heard you complain when Jess or Lauren are dressed like sleaze bags. At least Bella looks classy."

He scoffs. "Yeah, real classy. What's next? Is your thong strap gonna show when you bend over?" He thinks he's so funny.

_Time to play, ass bag. _

I look him dead in the eye and lean over the table slightly, making sure to give him a great view of my cleavage.

"Well, that might be the case, Edward, if I were wearing panties." I make sure to give him a pointed look to drive my point home.

I can tell exactly when he understands what I've just said.

His mouth opens and closes a few times, and he takes a quick pull of his soda. Probably to give himself time to think of a witty response.

The other four at our table are laughing manically, and I sit back, proud of myself.

Edward recovers quickly and tries to give me a sexy smirk. "Oh really?"

I roll my eyes at him and start talking to Emmett and Jasper.

"So, Emmett, Jasper, how are you two today?" I say, purposefully ignoring Edward.

* * *

><p>After lunch I excuse myself from my table of new friends and head to biology. Edward must be some kind of track star, because he's already sitting at our table when I arrive.<p>

He and I are the only two people in the room so far, and the way he is looking at me makes me slightly uncomfortable. I can feel the heat rise up through my face. _Damn traitor blush._

I climb up onto my stool and do my best to ignore him, but he senses my tension and smirks at me, bumping his shoulder against mine in an attempt to get my attention.

"So, no panties, huh, Bella?"

He leans back to check out my ass, and I put my game face on, trying to make Alice and Rosalie proud.

"Nope, no panties, I didn't have time to put them on this morning. My _ride_ was early."

I snicker when his cocky smirk falters and shift my attention to the front of the room.

"Whatever," is his cocky reply, and I high five my inner bitch.

Shortly after, our classmates start to meander into the classroom. Angela Webber gives me a small smile, Lauren sneers at me, and Tyler and Mike talk to me. I make polite conversation, making sure not to seem bitchy, yet not giving them much attention. They seem nice, but maybe a bit _too_ nice.

Mike quirks up the side of his mouth, in what I can only assume is supposed to be a cocky smirk, though it's not quite as cute as Eddie boy's.

"So, Bella," Mike starts.

He waits for me to make eye contact with him, and it annoys the shit out of me.

_Attention starved much?_

"Yeah?" I ask, slightly exasperated.

"I don't know if you know this, but _I_ helped pull Jessica off of you yesterday."

I fight the eye roll that's about to break free.

_Oh really, douche-bag? My. Fucking. Hero. Would you like a cookie or something?_

"Hmm, thanks for that. But I was fine," I say indignantly.

Mike snorts, Tyler smiles at me, and Edward's face snaps in my direction.

"Not what it looked like to me," Mike says haughtily.

I am full on bitch facing him now, ready to scratch his eyes out.

I suppress the urge to growl at him.

"Well, for one, _Mike, _Inever asked for your help. I could have handled it just fine without you. Actually, I'm pretty sure my good ole lab partner here helped me out a lot more than _you_ did." I turn and pat Edward on the back, nice and hard.

I flick my eyes back to Mike. "So, if you're looking for thanks, I've already given it to you. If you're looking for more, I suggest you seek out Jessica or Lauren, and if you want a cookie, I'm sure you could catch the lunch ladies before they close up shop," I say, popping the "p" for full effect.

I give him a courtesy wink and turn to face the front of the room. Mike walks away dejected with a giggling Tyler trailing behind him. Edward can't hold his laughter in anymore and dissolves into a fit of giggles, leaning on me for balance, and totally invading my space.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I'm amused with him but try to look annoyed as he continues to lean on me, almost shoving me off of my stool. He's wheezing now with his laughter, and tears are rolling down his face.

"Okay, dude, seriously, personal space and all that. I'd really like to not land with my ass on the floor, and you're kind of manhandling me now." I give him a stern look. He sits up trying to calm his laughter, but now it turns into hiccups. Edward's hiccups are something everyone should experience. It sounds like a really obnoxious double burp, and it's insanely loud.

I find myself cackling out an obnoxiously thunderous witch-like laugh and snorting simultaneously. Now I'm the one bending over the desk, resting my forehead against it as I hold my tummy, trying to calm my giggle fit. I kind of can't breathe, and I'm praying tears don't start rolling down my face—that would totally fuck up this game face I've painted so well for myself today.

Edward is laughing again, and now the entire class is chuckling at us. We're quite the spectacle.

Mr. Banner walks in and the class calms down. He shows us a quick film strip and makes us take notes. Halfway through the strip, Mike passes me a note. I'm loath to read it, banking on the fact it will probably say something stupid.

I open it and scan the page.

**Bella,**

**Sorry for pissing you off. I didn't mean to sound like a dick. **

**Forgive me? **

I roll my eyes again at his cheesiness and decide to put him out of his misery.

I hastily answer him back, so I can get back to taking notes.

**No worries - B**

I toss the note back in his direction and ignore a very huffy Edward to my left.

I'm blindsided by his notebook being shoved in front of me.

**Quit ignoring me, snob. Am I giving you a ride home today?**

I glare over at him and he gives me his little grin. I fight the urge to flick him on the forehead before I write back.

**We're ****supposed**** to be taking notes. I'm not ignoring you, I'm doing my work.**

**No, I don't need a ride. Jake is picking me up. Thanks. **

I slide his notebook back to him roughly.

Finally, he leaves me alone and I am able to focus on the class.

The rest of the day is uneventful. Edward gets the hint and decides to back-off for the time being, Mike doesn't try to approach me, and Alice and Rose sit by me in Chamber Singers. When I update them on all of the juicy details from bio, they snicker and sneakily high five me for my efforts.

_So far, so good. Bella: 2, Edward: 0_


	6. Chapter 6: If This Is Goodbye

**AN: This chapter is a bit emo. Keep your tissues on hand if you tear up easily. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p><em><span>The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. <span>_

_**- Aristotle**_

* * *

><p><em>And time heals but these scars<br>Keep on tearing us apart  
>Sometimes ending is the<br>only place to start._

If you and I are going under  
>Maybe we can both recover<br>And find forgiveness in each other  
>Even if this, this is goodbye, is goodbye<p>

_**If This Is Goodbye, **_by: Lifehouse

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 - If This Is Goodbye<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

Jake picks me up after school. I catch Edward glaring at us as we pull out of the parking lot, and I can't help but grin at him and wave. I'll let him think Jake and I are something more than we are. Jake and I know the truth.

Plus, it'll be fun getting under Pretty Boy's skin.

"What are you so giggly about, Beller?" Jake has always called me the most lame nicknames.

"Eh, nothing much. My lab partner is all pissed off because I'm not constantly swooning over his junk like every other bimbo in our class, and he thinks I'm interested in you." I snicker mischievously and continue on. "That is definitely not the case."

We're buds; I think of Jake more as my long lost brother than anything. When I would mention him back home in Phoenix, I always referred to him as my cousin. So obviously, there's nothing going on there.

"But it's still fun to let Edward think that there is. I'll let him stew for a while." I nod.

Jake chuckles. "Edward? As in Edward Cullen? Now that is some funny shit. How'd you fight his harem to become his lab partner anyway?"

"Funny story, actually. He didn't have a lab partner when I got there. Maybe he's too difficult to work with or something? I'm not entirely sure, but I wouldn't put it past him. He can be quite a jerk; he's very in love with himself." I snort in a very non-ladylike fashion.

Jake nods his head at me. "Yeah, well, from what I know, he has a rep of bouncing from one girl to another, to _another_. I don't know if he's sleeping with all of the girls he messes around with or not, because no one's ended up pregnant _yet_. But he sure isn't into the relationship thing; he's even plowed through some of the girls up at the reservation. The nice girls he fools hate him, and the bad girls chase him. Not that he seems to care." Jake shrugs, and then turns to grin at me.

Ah, how I've missed Jacob. We've been friends ever since we were young kids. Our Dads are best friends and inseparable fishing buddies. That being said, Jacob and I used to spend every weekend together when I visited Charlie in my childhood. It kind of makes me sad to think when I decided to stop paying my summertime visits; I also inadvertently decided I was done visiting Jake too.

It's not like we lost all contact. We still sent emails and text messages. We're Facebook friends, and at one point when I went through my geek phase of online chatting, we blew up each others' MSN messengers, but it'd been a little while since we'd spend any time talking. He has always made me smile and helped pick me up when Renee's antics would leave me feeling worn and weathered.

Those are some of the reasons I'll always love Jake. I don't have many close friends, hardly any really, but Jake is one lasting friendship that I never see myself growing out of. Our carefree banter and love of random current events and wacky music always keeps our time together interesting, to say the least.

The strange thing is everyone always says guys and girls can't be friends without anything happening between them. I think it's crap - I've never felt that way about Jake. Don't get me wrong, he's totally cute; his dark tanned skin, short, spiky almost black hair, deep hazelnut eyes that can literally see through bullshit, pearly white smile that shines brighter than the sun, and long built body, are definitely just a few of his many attributes. But he's just such a close friend. I could never think of him romantically.

"So, now that you're back, what kind of mischief are we going to get ourselves into?" He tugs gently on my braid, and I laugh at his change of thought.

"I don't know, but we're too old to sabotage Charlie and Billy's fishing trips. And we're too old to get into trouble for stealing their cars, and probably too old to set up forts with sheets in my living room and almost catch the house on fire making s'mores with citronella candles... So I'm really not sure." I wink at him.

"Hmm, you're probably right. Damn, I miss the good old days. We could go down to La Push and go cliff jumping, or find a motorcycle to steal and ride crazy all over the back roads. That'd sure give my dad and Charlie a few gray hairs." He smiles at me mischievously.

"Oh Jacob, you're so bad! But in all honesty, I'm still a crappy swimmer, so cliff diving is out. Motorcycles aren't really my thing, and I don't have a death wish, whether it be from an accident with you or looking down the barrel of the Chief's gun. So I'd say the bikes are out, too. But I'd love to come down to La Push. I miss the beach. Maybe we could do a bonfire or something out there at our old spot?"

His smile is radiant. "Yeah, that sounds great, Bells. Do you want to stop home first?"

I nod. "Yeah, I want to leave all of this school crap at home and grab something warmer to wear. I need to pick something up, too." I trail off as we pull into my drive.

Walking into the house, I head straight for the backdoor and hook Rocky up on his tie out to do his business. Then I head upstairs to my room to grab a change of warmer clothes, after five minutes in the bathroom I'm changed and back downstairs.

I walk into the kitchen to find Jacob's head buried in my fridge and his mouth full of Cheez-it crackers. _What is it with people eating all of our food?_

"Hungry?" I lean against the door jamb with an amused expression on my face.

I catch him off guard, and the next thing I see is Jake's head slam into the top of the fridge, and a few mumbled curse words are spoken.

He spins around to face me with a guilty grin and orange crumbs all over his face.

"Sorry, Bells."

I shake my head, "Don't be; you know you're always welcome here. And that's a really nice look for you. I'm sure the hungry slob look scores you lotsa ladies." I grin and chuckle when he almost chokes on a mouthful of crackers.

"Still a smartass, that's good. I like you that way." Jake hoots at me. I ignore him and his babble as I let Rocky back inside.

"Hey boy, been good today?" I scratch softly behind his ears as he sits in front of me.

"Do they allow dogs on the beach in La Push, Jake? Oh shit, dumb question - you're always there... _Just kidding!_" I smile sweetly at him.

He dutifully ignores my insult and answers my question. "Yeah, let's bring him. He could probably use a good walk, since you keep him cooped up here in this tiny house all day."

I smile at Jake's support and grab Rocky's leash.

"Car ride?" His tail immediately starts wagging like crazy, and he's at the door before Jake and I are finished packing snacks and drinks for our bonfire.

* * *

><p>The car ride to the beach is pretty uneventful. I have to sit in the middle because Rocky likes to stick his nose out of the window while we drive. This gives me more access to the radio, and Jake slaps my hands after ten minutes of constantly flicking the stations halfway through songs.<p>

"Dude, really? Some of these songs are bogus. If they'd play something good I wouldn't change it," I mutter.

"Normally we've got similar tastes, Bells. But you're driving me nuts with the radio tonight." He turns it to a country station and focuses back on the road.

I can't mask my surprise. "You listen to country now? Wow, I guess I have missed a lot."

Jake used to refuse to listen to country. It was the one thing we always disagreed on. Renee loved country music when I was growing up, and old habits die hard. I learned to love it, and it's now probably thirty percent of what I listen to. I try to incorporate a little bit of everything: oldies, country, rock, R&B, and pop.

Jake always said country music was for old people. I remember one summer Renee let me bring a few country CDs with me. Jake refused to listen to them at all - even the songs most people loved at the time. He insisted they were, _"Redneck hillbillies and had nothing better to do than cry about their dog getting run over by the dude coming to serve the divorce papers, then finding out you're out of beer and had been cheated on."_

I always laughed at him and respected his wishes. I've never forced the issue. Which is why it totally took me by surprise when he turned it on as if nothing had changed.

"Wow, Jake, you've finally grown up!" I beam at him, and we stick our tongues out at each other mockingly.

I smile to myself. _Maybe we haven't grown up after all.  
><em>

* * *

><p>After we arrive at the beach, I take Rocky for a walk down to the water line as Jake starts our fire. Once it's burning, he throws a few large pieces of driftwood into the flames for added color and a beautiful visual effect.<p>

I play a few more rounds of fetch with Rocky before we return to the fire. As I get closer I see Jake has poured a bottle of water into a bowl for Rocky and set our snacks out on a blanket for us.

I smirk at Jake. "How romantic, Jakey baby. You've made us a picnic."

He guffaws at me and returns the smirk. "You know it, baby." I snicker at the husky quality of his voice and almost lose my cool when he leans into me flirtingly.

Anyone who doesn't know us would think we were a couple. But we've always done this. Jake plays the lovesick overprotective friend/boyfriend; I play the swooning friend/girlfriend. It keeps girls off of his back, and back when we were younger it helped to keep curious boys away from me.

I've always had to deal with nosy kids asking me why I'm so little, and what was wrong with me.

Jake has come to my rescue and made me feel better on more than one occasion.

When I hit puberty and started growing outwards in the chest, but not upwards in height, boys got confused about how they felt about me. I had always been their little buddy, but when I grew boobs they were reminded I was a girl. Some couldn't cope with that reminder and eventually stopped talking to me; some would act like nothing had changed and I'd still be their pal; others would flirt with me playfully and try to steal kisses...and Jake would end up body slamming them in the sand box five minutes later.

_My vacations to Dad's were always interesting... _

That's how we've always been. We just..._were._ With no rhyme or reason. Our friendship has never been forced or awkward. We've always been carefree. Our dads always said it'd get us in trouble, but I disagree. If anything, our harmless pranks keep us both out of trouble more than pushing us into it.

I'm snapped out of my reverie by Jacob's voice. "So, Bells, Paul wanted me to ask you..."

"No."

"But you don't even know what I'm going to ask you..."

"Whatever it is, just _no._"

"Fine, but he really is a nice guy. Maybe you could settle him down a bit? Never know..."

"Jake, do you have shit in your ears or what? I think I just told you no. I'm not interested in Paul in a romantic way at all. The chances of me doing anything with him are about as high as me doing anything with _you._ Nonexistent."

"You've got that right, B-bird. You're way too classy for me." He winks at me, I flick his nose.

"Besides, if Paul ever hurt you, I'd probably kill him. So it's a good thing you're not interested, I guess." He rubs his nose as he prattles along.

I roll my eyes at his macho behavior.

"Sure, sure. Well, it's getting late, our snacks are gone, and Rocky's getting tired. You about ready to pack up and take me home?"

"Sure." He nods; we gather our things and load up the truck.

Just as I'm ready to hop into the truck, he stands in front of my door with a big cheesy grin on his face.

"What?" I ask impatiently.

"You know _what._ It's tradition, or did you already forget?"

I'm puzzled for a second until I see his eyes drift back towards the water.

"Our tree!" I exclaim. "Is it really still here?" I'm bouncing up and down on my toes.

"Yup! You know I'd never let anyone move it."

After making sure Rocky is secure in the truck and a window is cracked, I haul ass toward the water. When I reach the familiar old piece of driftwood, I search for our spot. I'm amazed that it's still in perfect condition when I finally find it.

Most young kids, out of an act of love would write _JB + BS = LOVE_ or something corny like that. Not us. We were really old school. We just wanted everyone to know we had been there. Not a statement of undying love, but more like undying friendship.

Ours says: _Jacob Black & Bella Swan were, and will always be here._

He carved the writing and made me carve a large tree around the words. The words are part of the top of the tree, and the base and truck swirl down and around. It's still just as beautiful as the day we did it... We were nine years old. Why we had an X-Acto Knife is beyond me, but we somehow got a hold of one and snuck out of Billy's house long enough to carve it.

We were so proud when we finished. The grey-brown scrapes are still such a sharp contrast to the bleached driftwood. I feel a lump rise in my throat as the memories of that day wash over me, stronger than the ocean waves just feet in front of me. I turn to Jake and see his eyes a little glassy as well.

I can't fight the guilt that I feel about leaving him, how much time I've lost with one of my only dear friends. That is all about to change. Looking up into his beautiful brown eyes, I promise myself we'll reconnect again. We'll be closer than ever; I'll help him find a nice girl and get settled down. Shit, I'll even help him work on his cars if he wants me to, anything to get that closeness back.

We visited this spot right before I left last time. It was the place I told him I wouldn't be returning for the summers anymore. He was angry at first, but he understood why. It was too hard to leave _Renee_ alone for such long periods of time. She needed me to be there for her; she was lonely.

Before I left that day, we whispered our old mantra between each other as he carried me back to his house piggy-back style.

_"Close together or far apart. We'll always be friends in our minds, our souls, and in our hearts."_

I know, I know, it's corny. But we were young... Maybe fourteen years old? And realistically, we didn't know when we'd see each other again.

I float out of my memory when he whispers it back to me again, and I can't stop the few leaky tears as I give him a big hug and tell him how much I've missed him.

He hugged me back and then set me on the ground so we could walk back to the truck.

The car ride home is quiet and uneventful. My head rests on his shoulder, with my right hand buried into Rocky's fluffy, russet coat. I must've drifted off because the next thing I know he is tapping my shoulder, and I'm hopping out of the truck. I grab my stuff and head for the door after another big hug.

* * *

><p>When I get inside I throw my blanket in the washer to get rid of the sand and put everything else away. Seeing the cruiser out front, I expect to find Charlie inside. Instead I find a note on the kitchen table telling me he had to run out for a minute.<p>

I toss it haphazardly into the garbage and make my way into the living room to stretch out on the sofa. A nice thing about living with Charlie? He likes comfy furniture, everything is oversized, plush, and comfortable.

After a few minutes of watching _House M.D. _reruns, I start to doze off. I'm startled by Charlie's hand on my shoulder, lightly shaking me awake. I rub my eyes and yawn as I stretch my stiff limbs; I must've been out for a while.

"Mhm yeah? Did'ya need something?" My voice is hoarse from sleep, my eyes still slightly blurry from sleep.

When I look up at him, he looks like a kid in the candy store. I've never seen him look so carefree - or maybe guilty? His grin is sheepish but infectious.

"You got a package today." He's practically vibrating in his excitement, which only confuses me further.

"Okay. Whatever sweets Ma sent, you can eat. I don't care. She's still on my list." I wave him off and rest my head back against the couch. Renee will not get back into my good graces by sending me clothes and frivolous goods.

_I can't be bought. _

"No, not _that_ kind of package... Your car is here."

_On second thought._

I jump up so fast I give myself a head rush. I can't contain my excitement when I fling the door open and see it sitting there in the usually empty spot beside Charlie's cruiser in the driveway.

I dance on my tiptoes for a second and then turn back to Charlie.

"When did it come?"

"This afternoon around six. They were unloading it when I got home. I waited for you for a while, but I figured once you got back you'd want her all to yourself; so I took her for a little test drive." His sheepish grin is back again.

I can't help but smile at him - _boys and their toys _and all that.

"Mind if I take it out? I'd love to show it off to Jake." I bounce in my toes again, excited from just having it in close proximity.

I can see him thinking it over. After all, it is a school night. I decide to pull out all the stops; I _really_ want to drive her..._now._

"I was just thinking it might be good for me to practice before the morning. You never know if the roads will be slick or not, and... You could come with me? I'm sure Billy would love to see you. It's not too late." A quick glance at the clock in the foyer tells me it's about eight o'clock.

I use my puppy dog eyes, and that settles it.

"Well...okay, let's go."

I slip my shoes back on and practically run out the front door.

I do a quick inventory of the car, making sure she still looks good as new before I hop in the driver's seat and adjust everything.

I have extension pedals that I have to lock in place, and my seat rises up so I can see better over the dash and wheel, but other than that, most of my car is all original.

Certain things are mounted in different spots than normal, making it easier for me to reach, such as my moon roof buttons. Those are located closer to my stereo instead of up on the ceiling like most cars.

_I love my car. _

I've always kind of been a Chevy girl. Well, GM, but whatever.

Charlie had a 1964 cherry red GTO when I was really little. I loved riding in it. This car reminded me of it. Renee asked me why I decided on a Camaro instead of a GTO, but I just couldn't do it. The new versions didn't do the old justice.

So instead, I came home with a brand new, cherry red Camaro. It's everything anyone would want in a first car. It has black and white leather interior, a moon roof, an awesome sound system, a sporty spoiler, and black racing stripes on the top and side for the total effect.

_Did I mention I love my fucking car? I did? Well good, cause I do._

It takes all of my control to follow the speed limit through town and out on the highway, but I do. I see Charlie eyeing the speedometer warily, and I roll my eyes.

"What?" he asks petulantly. "It's an awful fast car for such a young girl. And it's against the laws of physics, having your kid drive you around. It just ain't right," he mutters indignantly.

I roll my eyes at him. "How fast did you take her up to?" I shoot him a sideways glance.

"Now, Bella, I'm a cop. I spend my days enforcing the law..."

"Yes, exactly, enforcing, not always abiding yourself. But that's not what I asked, Dad. How fast?"

He sighs, "Oh, I don't know. Ninety-five or so. Didn't go too far, just down one of the logging roads..."

I nod and grin at him.

"How about this? You stop pouting, and I'll let you drive home..."

Immediately he sits up a little straighter in his seat. "Deal!"

He's on his best behavior the entire time, not complaining about my radio choices, or the fact that I'm driving slightly over the speed limit now. He even encourages me to "open her up" once we get onto a fairly long straight stretch. I do...a little, and it feels nice.

It's nice to be able to be like this with Charlie. I'm finally starting to realize how much we've missed each other since I've been gone. I'm thankful that he's had Billy and Jake over the years, just like I've had Renee and Phil.

When we arrive at the Black house, the front porch light is on, and a glow from the TV can be seen from the living room window. The house is fairly remote, just on the edge of the reservation, surrounded by tall, thick trees; I lightly tap my horn, alerting Billy and Jake to our presence.

I shouldn't be surprised that Jake is in the garage instead of the house. And it's quite hard to keep the smug smile off my face when he comes out and sees my car parked behind his beastly truck.

"Holy shit!" Jake crows. I guffaw embarrassingly loudly.

Charlie attempts to scold him between chuckles. "Language, kid!"

"Sorry, sir." Jake says kind of breathily.

It's easy to see he's enamored by my car. I understand what he's feeling. When Phil told me I could get whatever I wanted - _within reasonable limits of course_, _I wasn't going to end up with a Porsche or an Audi, but still this car is pretty sweet - _I pretty much freaked out. Renee thought I'd go for a Charger, because she's - in her own words - _"Mopar Bitch"._ Phil was rooting for a Mustang, because he's a _"Ford guy"._

But I guess I had Charlie's and Jake's voices in my head that day, leading me down to Valley Chevy in Scottsdale. I never really even had to think about it, except for the slight details, like color, detailing, that sort of thing. The actual car had me at _hello;_ I saw it and immediately flashed back to the GTO. We signed the paperwork that day.

Phil was thrilled. I'd never seen him super chatty or excited until that day; it was definitely a bonding moment for us. Renee was slightly arrogant about it, until I got behind the wheel. She finally came around and decided it wasn't such a bad car after all...for a Chevy. Her words, not mine.

Snapping back to reality, I look around at my surroundings to see Jake standing about a foot away from the car, squatting down on his knees, looking at it with such reverence you'd think it was his soul mate.

"Uh...dude...back away from the vehicle," I joke lamely with him.

His laugh is so throaty and husky I'm slightly embarrassed to be standing by him. It's like I'm intruding or something.

"Uh... Doesn't matter what it _looks_ like, the dual chrome tipped exhaust is _not_ a wiener hole, so back away, dude. Add it to your spank bank for a later date, and don't get any icky-sticky on my baby."

After that we both start laughing so hard I have to clench my legs together to keep myself from peeing. Charlie and Billy are up by the house, so they have no idea what we're laughing about, but they look as amused as we are.

"Can I drive her?" Jake asks me, his expression hopeful. I really don't want to let anyone else drive her yet - even though I told Charlie he could drive it home - but I can't resist Jake and his smile. He was nice enough to get me to and from school today. I feel like it's my turn to give something back to him.

I turn around to face Charlie. "Dad, can Jake and I take her around the block? Please?" I pull out the _Dad card..._

When I first arrived I kept accidentally calling him Charlie. I know it hurts his feelings, so I've been trying to call him Dad more often. I know he likes to hear it. Plus, it usually helps me get my way_. _

_W__ait for it...wait for it... _

I can see him sigh from where I'm standing, about fifty feet away. "Oh alright, but hurry up. We gotta get back home soon."

_Cha-Ching! _

"Thanks, Dad!" I beam at him, his mustache twitches slightly in a small smile.

I jump into the passenger seat, and we wave at our dads as we pull out of the drive.

* * *

><p>"Where to, Bells?" Jake asks excitedly.<p>

I grunt in frustration, trying to reach the seat lever to slide myself up so I can fiddle with the radio. Jake swats at my hand and tells me to sit back, buckle up, and behave. I grudgingly do as I'm told and enjoy the ride.

Leaning back, I watch Jake as he drives my car. This is the happiest I've ever seen him, which is crazy because the kid is never unhappy. He really is his own sun. Always shining and glad to be alive. More people should be like him. Hell, I should be like him. I don't know what I would do with myself if I were that carefree. Probably paint rainbows and shit sunshine.

I reach over and pat his arm softly, complimenting him on his _mad_ driving skills. I'm still slightly peeved that Charlie is so fucking tall, and my seat is so far back, but I deal with it and stare at the scenery. Jake is very careful with her and seems to be enjoying himself immensely. I make a note to myself to talk to Phil about helping me get a nice car for Jake.

I know fancy isn't his style, but I'd like to try to help him get something dependable. If I had something else to drive I'd _almost - _and I do say _almost -_ think about letting him keep this for a while. Until the thought filters through my mind about endless visits to get my car detailed especially regarding the backseat. This thing would be a total chick magnet.

I shudder when I think about it. Nope, I'm definitely not lending Jake my car...without a written agreement forbidding him to get freaky in the car.

I chuckle, immediately catching his attention. He tries to get it out of me, but I just tell him I'm excited to see everyone's faces at school tomorrow. It's half true, I do wonder what pretty boy Cullen will say, and ass-can Stanley. _We shall see..._

A couple of minutes later Jake turns the radio down, slightly startling me, and crows, "Hey, Bella, isn't that your boy now?"

I try to see over the dash and just catch his car drive by us, speedily heading the opposite direction as us, toward La Push.

_Huh, pretty boy must be in a hurry to catch some tail. _

I'm caught off guard when Jake's arm slams out in front of me, knocking the wind out of me, and he yells, "Hold on, Bella!"

Everything seems like it's happening in slow motion.

I hear tires squealing as Jake tries to avoid the logging truck that is swerving all over the road in front of us. He's also trying to rapidly slow us down, to lessen the impact if we make contact, but it's futile. The truck is moving too fast, and I know it's going to hit us. I grab a hold of his hand and scream at the top of my lungs.

The last few things I remember before I lose consciousness are praying for God to somehow make us okay, the sound of crunching metal and glass breaking, the burn of the airbag, the sickening sweet smell of blood, Jacob and I telling each other how much we care about each other, and thinking today is not going to be _okay_ after all.

It's the last day I will ever spend with my best friend.

The day my world fell apart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *Ducks behind a large sturdy object* I know, I know - but it had to happen. I don't know why, ask my messed up mind. The chapters following this one will deal with loss, and Bella's way of coping (obviously) but they will be very sad.<br>I was informed by a friend that there should be some kind of warning ahead of time, so here it is. We will lose Jacob, and no before any of you ask - I do not hate Jacob Black. (Unless we're talking about his compatability with Bella. They are not meant to be together! Bedward all the way! LOL) **

**My mind just decided Jake needed to die in this story, and so, it happened. Sowwie :\  
><strong>

**A big thanks to: Mzb, PTB, DreamersDaze, AtHome Jo, and anyone else who has been beside me with this story. And a big THANK YOU to all of my readers. You're the stars in my skies and I appreciate every single one of you! I'm sorry if I haven't responded to reviews in the last couple of chapters. Fanfiction stopped sending me alerts for over a month, and I hadn't realized I even had reviews! I love ALL of you! Thank you so much! **

* * *

><p><strong>Story Rec(s): <strong>

When Life Gives You Lemons: Eat Them  
>by: DreamersDaze<br>http:/ www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6656388/1/bWhen_b_bLife_b_bGives_b_bYou_b_bLemons_b_Eat_Them

When a family member's health scare makes her question her own lifestyle, Bella begins a journey to find common ground between outer beauty, inner beauty, health and peace. Will she able to find love, in others and within herself? All Human

I beta for this story, and absolutely adore it! I love reading about a full figured Bella, and trainerWard is absolutely irresistable! :)) 

* * *

><p>The Procrustean Bed<br>by: gemini13me  
>http:www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6991264/1/The_Procrustean_Bed

A Procrustean Bed - a standard or set of conditions, determined arbitrarily, to which everyone is forced to conform. But the question is... are there really any rules when it comes to the affairs of the heart?

The summary just doesn't do this story justice. I absolutely love the characters, they seem so real - and so...badass. It's really amazing so far, I hope you check it out!

* * *

><p><strong>xxoo,<strong>

**Missy **


	7. Chapter 7: Timing is Everything

_**_Oh, for the time when I shall sleep  
>Without identity.<em>**_

_**- Emily Bronte**_

* * *

><p>When the stars line up,<br>and you catch a good break,  
>people think you're lucky,<br>but you know it's grace.

It can happen so fast,  
>or a little bit late.<p>

Timing is Everything.

You know I've had close calls,  
>when it could have been me.<p>

I was young when I learned just how fragile life could be,  
>I lost friends of mine,<br>I guess it wasn't my time.

Timing is everything.

_**Timing Is Everything - **_**Garrett Hedlund**  
><em>(Country Strong <em>soundtrack_)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5:<br>Timing Is Everything**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

When I fade back into consciousness, I hear people yelling and loud noise that sounds like machines sawing something in half. My head is throbbing so bad it makes me want to vomit. I'm still holding Jake's hand, but he's not squeezing mine anymore.

"Jake, Jake wake up. They're gonna get us out..." I try shaking his arm, but I'm pinned. The car has been literally molded somehow around my body. My face is pinned toward my door, and all I want to do is look at my best friend, to confirm that he's sleeping, and really okay.

"Jake! Jake, please answer me! Please, Jake!"

My cries are unanswered, at least not by Jake.

_This cannot be happening...not now...not ever! Please, God,_ please, whatever you do, let Jake be okay. _If someone's gotta go, make it be me. He's got..._everything_ going for him, he has his whole life ahead of him. He's probably going to go to school on a baseball scholarship...he's a straight A student. He's...everything... everything to his dad, and his sisters. Please, God...don't take my best friend away from me... _

I am not really aware of what is currently happening to me, but I fade back out of consciousness again.

The next time I wake up, I'm lying on a stretcher, being rolled toward an ambulance. Charlie's hand is in mine now, and I can see tears streaming down his face.

_Why is his hand in mine? Where is Jake! God damn it, why isn't anyone answering me?_

I finally find my voice, my screams terrify me. They don't sound like me, they sound desperate, like a wild banshee...

"Jake! Jake where are you! Get him out! He can't breathe! Get him out of the car! He's sleeping in the car! Jake! Jake, I need you! Jake, you saved me! Please! Jake, just answer me!"

Charlie is sobbing and squeezing my hand, my surroundings are starting to fade again, and my voice is gone.

Just before everything fades to black, I whisper, "I'm sorry, Daddy, I know how bad you wanted to drive home."

* * *

><p>Light...<p>

Dark...

Light...

Dark...

Light...

My eyes flutter open; I'm being rolled again. This time I'm lying on a softer surface. The florescent lights are flashing vertically through my line of sight, and it is killing my eyes.

I still can't move much of my body, and I still don't see Jake. I notice a lot of nurses and doctors rushing along side of me, and I hear someone telling Charlie he'll need to stay out of the room. I just don't understand why. I can't make sense of anything that is happening around me.

I feel them cutting off my sweatshirt and jeans, and I'm cold. I must be sedated because I can barely move or concentrate. I feel so tired, I just want to sleep. I'm just so ready to give up. The numbness is settling in, I can practically feel myself letting go of everything around me. I am too tired to hold on.

Suddenly, something in the corner of the room catches my eye. It's Jake, and he's standing there watching me, smiling at me and talking to me. I don't have enough energy to speak, so I talk to him in my head, not understanding at the time that there's no way for him to hear me... and wondering when he changed his clothes. He's replaced his t-shirt with a long black coat and black pants. Very unlike Jake's usual casual style.

_Jake...the accident...you're okay! I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know about me, I don't think I can get through this. I'm just so tired. Please tell everyone how much I love them... _

Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Suddenly, he's right in front of me. As if he had floated right up to me, and he starts speaking to me, too. I'm wondering why the nurses haven't kicked him out yet. Surely he shouldn't be allowed in here with me if my own father isn't?

_Bella, you're going to be just fine! You're a fighter. You're strong. Don't you dare give up! Not yet. You have so much to look forward to. You're the strongest person I know, along with my dad. Please tell him I love him. Bella, you've got to promise not to feel bad about this. This wasn't your fault...it wasn't our fault. You'll understand what I mean. Just please, keep living. Promise me you'll live, if not for you, then for me. Please, Bella? Promise me! _

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

I can barely nod at him, so I rasp out. "I promise, Jake. I love you."

I'm rewarded with his brilliant smile, and his hand lovingly strokes my head. "Thank you, Bells. I love you too. I'll see you soon then...but not too soon." He bends down and presses a gentile kiss to my temple.

"I'll see you soon then, Jake..." With that, I fade out again.

* * *

><p><strong>1:00 A.M. - Thursday<strong>

When I wake this time, it seems like I've been sleeping for days. For all I know, I have been. My mouth feels like sandpaper, and my entire body feels heavy. I wiggle my face at the tickling sensation of the oxygen tube they have pressed into my nostrils, and I groan softly.

"Why is everything so fucking bright all of the time?" I mumble incoherently.

I'm startled by a soft chuckle to my left side, and when I look over I see a devastatingly handsome blond doctor with ice blue eyes and a warm smile. He looks like he just stepped out of one of those 50's movies Charlie used to make me watch.

It is then when I start to wonder how much _Morphine_ they're giving me.

The lights are dimmed slightly, and he speaks to me.

"Isabella, I'm Dr. Cullen. I'm the surgeon who operated on you, and I'll be your doctor through the duration of your time here at Forks General. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I nod at him and wince slightly at the limited movement.

"Are you in pain, Isabella?" he asks me immediately.

"No. I just...can't move."

"Please do not try to. Your body needs time to recuperate. You suffered extensive damage during the accident."

It was then, for some unknown reason, my doped up mind decided to pick up with the conversation, and put two and two and two together, so to speak...

"Cullen? Are you related to pretty boy-er Edward?"

I see a wary smile grace his face as he nods his head yes with pride.

I roll my eyes slightly and give him a small smile. "Figures, you're pretty, too."

"Well, thank you." He laughs softly but sobers quickly.

"Bella, can you tell me what you remember? There's currently an investigation going on as to the cause of the crash. I need to have an investigator sit in, whenever you're ready, so they can get all of the details."

I tell him what I remember, about Jake protecting me, and seeing the log truck swerve all over the place before the actual collision. He nods and asks if it would be okay if someone stepped in quickly, so I can tell them while it's still fresh.

I agree, and that's the first time I see Charlie, since the scene of the accident.

He rushes up to my right side and hovers over me, sobbing and talking incoherently, "Bella, baby, I was so scared. I thought we lost you, too. Oh my God, Bella, thank God you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you; I just got you back..."

_I thought we lost you _too_? What is he talking about? Did the truck driver die? _

"Dad...Dad, slow down. Where's Jake? I need to talk to him. Can you ask him to please come in here for a second?"

The look on Charlie's face is heartbreaking, I can't understand it. Why would he look pained to go get Jake? He fared much better than I did out of this whole thing, but I'm not mad.

I'm lucky I'm here at all, Jake saved me. If he hadn't thrown his arm in front of me, the airbag probably would've snapped my neck. I got lucky and I know that. Between Charlie being so con-flabbing tall—having his seat way back, and Jake's strength, I was somehow spared.

"Dad, what's the matter? Where's Jake? I just saw him, before they put me under. Can you please tell him to come see me? I want to talk to him before I talk to the investigator. Please?"

Charlie's face pales, and a cloud of confusion passes over his features. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my left arm, and I look up into the kind face of Dr. Cullen.

"Bella, I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but we lost Jacob." I hear Dr. Cullen, but I don't really _hear _him.

_Lost him where? In the cafeteria? Flirting with nurses? What exactly does that mean?_

"I-I don't understand. What are you saying?" I am completely dumbfounded.

I hear Charlie's voice, gruff from crying. "Bella, Jake didn't make it. We believe he died on impact..."

My entire world stops.

My breathing turns erratic, the machine behind me starts going crazy, and nothing makes any sense.

_Jacob isn't dead. I talked to him, I saw him. He told me everything was going to be okay. He told me he'd see me..._

_He _can't_ be gone..._

My voice is a little harsher than I mean it to be. "No. I saw him. He...talked to me...said everything was going to be okay...he's alive...you have to find him, Dad. Please...tell them they've made a mistake. Somebody has made a serious mistake!"

My eyes are overflowing, and I know my oxygen tube must be filling up with snot, but I don't care. I can't stay here and listen to everyone feed me this _bullshit_.

"Where the hell is Jacob?" I roar.

I see Dr. Cullen pull out a syringe. I know I'm about to be sedated if I don't calm down. I'm rational enough to know I need to relax. If I don't, nobody will tell me anything.

"Wait! Wait, give me a second, please don't give me any more drugs. I need to process everything, please Dr. Cullen..." I know I look and sound pitiful, but I'm beyond caring.

Charlie wouldn't lie to me about Jacob, but yet, I know what I saw...

"Dad, Jake…he's really..._gone_?" I start sobbing, someone is wiping my face, and Charlie tries to soothe me the best he can.

But he doesn't know how, he doesn't understand that I can't be relieved from this pain. This _guilt_. All I can think about is the fact that I should have never went up there to show Jacob my car. All of my selfishness has ultimately cost Jacob his life.

I can never get him back.

Where's my rewind button?

Why can't this be like those corny Christmas movies where they get to go back in time and change the past 24 hours?

Why can't I trade places with Jacob?

Why can't I have my best friend back?

The guilt is consuming. The fog rolls in, clouding my thoughts. I know I haven't been sedated, but I might as well have been. My ears are ringing, and my body is wracked with such heavy sobs I feel like I'm having a seizure, or at least what I think a seizure would feel like.

My face is a wet mess, my eyes burn from the salty sweat and tear mixture. Everything feels inexplicably hot. Too warm, I feel as though I'm suffocating in this room.

"What happened?" I croak softly. I'm trying to catch my breath, but I'm crying so hard, it makes it difficult.

"First we need to hear what you remember, Bella. Then we'll tell you everything we know." Dr. Cullen waves someone in from the doorway.

She introduces herself as Maggie, says she's an investigator, but everything else sort of fades. I can't pay much attention to anything anyone is saying anymore.

I start by explaining why we took the car out. Charlie already knows all of this because he was there, he nods as I continue. I talk about Jake and me playfully jibing each other in the car. I tell them about me complimenting his driving, and I make sure they know that he was not at fault at all.

I tell them that he noticed the truck swerving, and when I looked up it was already crossing the center line, headed directly for us. Charlie's head drops to his hands as I explain Jake trying to throw his arm out in front of me, blocking me from the airbag as much as possible.

I choke up, but push through it. I literally feel my heart breaking into little pieces, and I feel like I'm dying inside.

I tell them about waking up for a minute, me telling Jacob we'll be okay. Holding his hand…the silence…the blood…not being able to move.

When I finish, the investigator thanks me and lets me know she'll be in touch.

I could care less.

I look up at Dr. Cullen and ask the one question that is plaguing me. "Did Jacob die for me? Because of me? If he were protecting himself and not me, would it have mattered?" My voice breaks half way through, my eyes fill again.

"No," Charlie answers.

"I didn't ask _you_, _you_ have _no_ qualms about lying to me. I'm asking _Dr. Cullen_," I grit out and refocus on the Doctor.

"_Please_...I just...need to know..." I'm so broken, bleak, empty, aching...

"Bella, from what I saw, it really wouldn't have mattered either way. If Jake hadn't thrown his arms out, you could _both_ have died. There was no way to save him. The truck connected with the driver's side of the car, it's honestly a miracle you're even alive."

I shake my head at what he is telling me. The tears are leaking down onto my gown, and I'm sick of crying. My head is killing me from all of the pressure, and I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Dad, where is Billy? I need to see him…apologize."

His head shakes back and forth. "There isn't any need to apologize, Bella. This isn't _your_ fault, you couldn't have known. He's at the Clearwater's house right now. He'll be okay; he just needs to grieve. He's strong Bella, he'll be okay."

_Is anyone ever okay after they lose their child?_ Billy has lost so much in his life; his wife, his ability to walk, and now Jacob. It only makes the guilt worse.

I lay my head back as my eyes close, tears leak out of the corners. The only noise in the room is my pathetic whimpering. "Please...let me sleep. I just want to be alone right now."

I don't bother asking about my injuries. None of it matters. Nothing else matters. Jacob's gone. Billy's alone...

Dad agrees to let me rest and walks to the door. I call out one last request before he leaves. "Dad, can you make sure you feed Rocky? Tell him…I'll be home soon."

He nods with a watery smile and gives me my space.

I fall asleep until the next morning. It's surprising because I know nurses have been in and out all night to evaluate me and check my vitals.

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday - sometime in the late morning<strong>

When I wake, Renee is there, and my room is already filled with balloons, flowers, and stuffed animals. None of it appeals to me; I'm thankful for it, but it's all undeserved. I did nothing to earn it; it should all be wherever Jacob is.

After all, he's the one who saved me.

I swallow back tears at the thought of his name and bite my lip harshly.

_God, Jacob, why did you have to die? _

_Why did you leave me here like this, to face the world on my own? _

_To look everyone in the face and feel this guilt over losing you, over practically killing you._

Mom sees me trying to bat the tears away and envelops me in a hug, well, as much of one as she can, what with all of the tubes and machines hooked up to me.

The dam bursts then, all of my pent up emotions flood through me, and my body is again quaking with sobs.

"Mom! I killed him. It's all my fault, I killed Jake! It should have been me..." The desperation in my voice is painful to listen to, even for me.

She quiets me, attempting to rock me back and forth to comfort me. None of it is soothing. None of it is Jake. Nothing will bring him back. I've got to learn to accept it, but I can't.

I push my lips together as I listen to her console me. She wipes the tears from my eyes, kisses my face, and runs her fingers through my matted, tear-soaked hair.

* * *

><p>After a while, my silence must start to bother her, because she picks up each gift in my room, reads the tags, and opens the cards. She reads each one out loud to me. It seems as though the entire town has sent something. A sympathy card, flower arrangement, a stuffed bear wishing me to get well soon.<p>

After they've all been read, she offers to write thank you cards for me. I want to tell her this isn't some wedding or baby shower—people probably don't expect something back, but I know she needs to keep busy. I just nod my head at her and thank her quietly.

A few hours later she makes me eat. At first, I refuse; but I know I'll get sick if I don't, so I relent.

I'm told I'll be in the hospital for the weekend and all of next week. Nothing matters...

My left leg is fractured, and I sustained numerous internal injuries and broken ribs, which will take months to heal, but I feel nothing. Maybe when they fixed me they took something out, because I feel empty inside.

* * *

><p><strong>Monday<strong>

Billy is having Jacob's remains cremated. Normally they wouldn't do that within their tribe, but under the circumstances, and the fact that the body was so badly scarred and damaged, Billy has decided that would be the best decision.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday<strong>

They've decided to go ahead with the visitation/funeral process. I shouldn't be surprised. It's been six days now, but it still hurts to know I won't be there. It hurts to know I can't be there for Jacob.

Today is Wednesday, the day after Jake's funeral. I'm still in the hospital, but I'm told I'll be released on Friday. Charlie is putting our house up for sale...he says it isn't practical for us or Rocky. I know it's because our bathroom us upstairs, as well as my bedroom.

Renee is taking Charlie out house hunting today; Phil sits with me, and we play Uno and Phase Ten card games until they return. I slowly feel the numbness begin to ebb. I am by no means _okay_, but I can speak in full sentences, and finish a bagel without too much effort.

Dr. Cullen calls them "baby steps".

_Whatever... I call it "life"._

We're sitting around making fun of the show _Wife-Swap_ when the investigator strolls into my hospital room. I'm momentarily caught off guard until she reintroduces herself and approaches my bedside.

"Bella, I'd like to talk to you first if that's okay?" I agree and my family waits out in the hall.

"Bella, we haven't released any of the details to anyone yet. But the investigation has been concluded, we won't need any more information from you, this visit is strictly an informational one. I'm here to explain exactly what caused the accident, and make you aware of your legal options. After I meet with you, I'll be in contact with Mr. Black."

At the mention of _legal options,_ I tense up and prepare for the worst. My mouth starts before my brain can catch up. "No! You're suing us? Please, I'm accountable, not my parents, or Jake's dad. I'll take all of the blame. Please...just...don't do anything to them." My tone is frantic, and I'm pleading with her.

"No, Bella, you've misunderstood. You and Jacob are _not_ at fault, the truck hit _you_. You were just doing whatever you could to brace for the impact. The driver and trucking company are liable for this. You see, the driver's blood work came back, he had been drinking."

She pauses for a second and continues.

"He's actually co-owner of the trucking company, King Trucking Corporation_._ His name is Royce King. He claims a lot of his crew hadn't shown up for work, and he had been feeling a lot of stress, covering for the workers. None of that matters now, but what does matter is that he decided to stop off at the bar around noon, and he had just left the bar before he hit you.

We have witnesses who can vouch for his reckless driving, and even a witness who saw the crash. He could be charged with vehicular homicide, reckless endangerment, assault with a deadly weapon, wrongful death, DUI…the list continues."

I sit, gaping at her. I'm completely shocked at what I am hearing. My best friend is dead because of some _drunk_.

"Bella as you may know, the King Trucking Corporation is a very lucrative corporation, they're expecting some type of lawsuit to be filed against them. Between you and me, I'm going to recommend your father and Mr. Black seek legal counsel, to receive financial compensation for this accident. I know money won't bring back your friend, or make your injuries disappear, but this accident has changed all of your lives forever. You're entitled to something."

I'm in a daze after she leaves. I could care less about the money; I'm pissed about the cause of the accident. It wasn't brake failure or faulty machinery. It was some drunken motherfucker who decided to joy ride in a log truck. He took my best friend away from me. The word _unnecessary_ doesn't even begin to cover it.

Charlie and Renee set up an appointment with a lawyer for the next day. I, of course, will stay here. In bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday<strong>

I've just drifted off for my afternoon nap when I hear a knock on my door. It's Billy Black. I'm immediately fighting off tears as he rolls up to the side of my bed and locks his brakes on his wheelchair.

He gives me a watery smile and grabs my hand; I squeeze his the best I can. I feel my chest getting tighter. I fight so hard not to break in front of him, but it feels inevitable.

"Billy..." I croak, "Oh God, Billy, I'm so sorry...I'm so, so sorr-"

"Stop. Don't, Bella, it's...not your fault…you know _he…_wouldn't want you to feel like that. I don't blame you. You couldn't have known."

My head is frantically whipping from side to side, it jostles my ribs, but that's nothing compared to the pain in my heart. "But, I shouldn't have taken him out...I should have stayed home with Charlie..."

He cuts me off again, "Bella, you knew _Jake_ loved cars. You were excited to share something with him. No one can blame you for that." His voice breaks when he says his sons name; my heart cracks into a million pieces.

My eyes burn, and I'm hesitantly biting my top lip with my bottom teeth as I listen to him console me. It makes me feel weak, here is this father, who has just lost his son, and he's consoling _me_? I wipe my eyes and blow my nose and just...talk to Billy.

He asks me about what I can remember, and I feel that I owe it to him to be honest. I tell him about Jacob trying to protect me, and about me waking up when they were trying to cut us out of the car…and then, for the first time since I've been awake…I tell him about seeing Jake in the ER.

On one hand, I'm terrified he's going to think I've gone crazy and have me locked up. But in my _heart,_ I know Billy, and I know he believes in more than just what we can see. I tell him everything Jake said to me; about telling Billy he loves him, and asking me not to feel guilty.

When Billy asks me if I am following Jakes advice, I again, do not lie to him. I tell him how I've been berating myself in my mind ever since I've woke up. How I feel so undeserving of even being here...how I wish it were me that was gone.

He immediately shushes me and tells me to not think that way. He says even though he wishes Jake were still here, that life works in mysterious ways, and it's not his nor my place to question fate.

We talk about the car accident that took his legs and his wife, and he tells me that the one lesson he learned from it—and it took him a long time to learn—was that all you can do is show gratitude to the people you lose. You have to go on living for them; otherwise, their deaths are for nothing.

I can see what he's saying; but to me, it still feels like Jake is gone, and it wasn't worth it...

It wasn't worth a joy ride...

It wasn't worth a couple of beers consumed by a pretentious idiot...

It just isn't fair, but life never is. Things never happen the way you think they will, you just have to swim with the tide and pray that, eventually, you'll be able to come up for air.

Before Billy leaves, he tells me that he's not going to be cleaning out Jake's room right away. He asks me if I will do it for him when I get better. He says that while he wants keep some of Jacob's stuff, he thinks Jake would want me to have some of it too.

I respond tearfully, telling him I'd be eternally grateful.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks are <em>hell<em>.

When I'm first released and get home, everything seems to be okay. Rocky is very excited to see me, but he doesn't quite understand that I'm hurt, so Dad keeps him outside a lot. He's just too rowdy to play around me right now.

I'm not allowed to use crutches, because of my ribs, so I'm designated to a wheelchair for the time being.

_It. Fucking. Blows. _

I run into everything; the house is so cramped and small I can barely navigate it, and the tiny galley-style kitchen is like trying to fit a...well, it's just fucking cramped.

My hands have quarter-sized blisters and calluses; I'm getting man hands.

I want to go back to school, but I really don't want to deal with the ridicule and stares. So far, everyone's been really supportive; I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Alice and Rosalie have stopped by on and off, but I've had Charlie lie and say I'm asleep, or in the shower.

I can't bear to see anyone yet.

Charlie and Billy have filed lawsuits against King Trucking Corporation. It's in all of the newspapers, and has even been on the local news channels a few times. It makes me nauseous how they talk about it, and how they say Jake's name. Their voices are so cold, detached…such a sharp contrast to the boy whose name drifts from their lips.

Time keeps ticking by, Dad has found us a new house, and he's had a couple of offers on our place. Young couples looking for a fixer upper/starter home.

Mom is still staying with us, sleeping in my room while I rest on the couch at night. Phil had to go back to Florida. The world must go on. Mom and Dad help me get upstairs to use the restroom and clean up, but I'm not allowed to sleep in my bed yet, because I might move wrong and hurt something.

I don't really care; the couch is more comfortable anyway. The bed is a twin, and it's old, it was probably Charlie's—_Dad's—_ when he was a kid.

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since I've been out of the hospital.

I've just made my way back downstairs with Mom, and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, in my wheelchair, sulking over a soggy breakfast of Lucky Charms and cold toast. She kisses my head as she walks behind me to grab a cup of coffee. Sitting down to my right, she smiles at me.

"When you guys get settled in to the new house, we'll need to get you a new bed."

I hide my grin the best I can and turn my attention to the window overlooking the front yard.

"Is that so?" My pitch rises slightly at the end of my question, and she knows I'm amused.

"Humph, yes. That thing is lumpy as _hell_, and I know the size doesn't matter much to _you_, but I can barely fit in it, and my feet hang over the edge. I feel like I'm sleeping in Santa's workshop. No offence." She smiles wickedly, and I slap her arm jokingly.

"Thanks, Mom! Shit, leave it to my own mother to crack short jokes at my expense. Y'know, dynamite comes in small packages. _Remember that_," I warn.

"Oh, baby, I know." She smiles lovingly at me and runs her fingers through my still damp hair.

"Gosh, your hair is getting so long again, Bells, and it's so thick. Are you thinking of cutting it again or letting it grow?"

I shrug non-committedly. I haven't made up my mind yet; I like it shorter with layers because it's more manageable, but I feel like I look like my dad with short hair.

_No girl wants that._

"Want me to French-braid it?" I nod, relieved that she has offered.

I love it when she plays with my hair, because it relaxes me.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, I'm sitting at the kitchen table, checking my email for the first time in over three weeks. I have over fifty unread messages, and I have no idea how half of these people even got my email address.<p>

My blood goes cold when I see that I have an email from Jacob the day of the accident. I click on it, and my eyes immediately fill up with tears. It's a forward of a couple of videos he found on _YouTube_ that he wanted me to see. The first one is a music video of _OK GO's _song _Here We Go Now_; it's basically a bunch of guys doing a really neat dance routine on treadmills. The next two are Evolution of Dance videos. I watch them all with a watery smile and read his message at the bottom.

**Bells,**

**Our next prank has got to involve some of these dances…and a treadmill. We'll give Billy and Charlie some gray hair yet! **

**I had a fun time with you at the beach today, and I'm glad you're back now. I know at first you weren't happy about it, but now you'll get to see my cool ass all the time, and you'll end up forgetting all about Phoenix. :)**

**Well, I should get going. I'm going to go give the Rabbit a tune up before supper. **

**See you soon then,**

**Jake :D**

After my sobs start to ebb, and I feel like I can move, my trembling hand files his message away to my "Jake folder", and I try to sort through junk mail and spam ads.

My concentration is shot, but I really can't do much about it. My thoughts keep drifting back to Jake. I still think I see him, when I look out of a window, or I'm watching some silly comedy. Maybe it's his way of telling me that he's watching over me, maybe it's my subconscious punishing me.

Whatever it is…it hurts and soothes the ache in my chest, all at once.

* * *

><p>Less than a week later, I'm back in school. Pushing my way through the halls, with crimson stained cheeks and eyes trained on the floor. Alice and Rose try to chat me up at my locker, but I don't really have the time, and they are too quiet, showing me their discomfort. It frustrates me, but I understand it.<p>

I just hate it when people are walking on eggshells for me.

When third period rolls around, and my books slide off my lap and onto the floor for the fifth time today, I lose it. "Fuck!"

I'm at the doorway to the classroom, my head is in my hands, and I'm trying to get it together. I know I can't try to bend over and pick them up again, my ribs are still killing me from doing it earlier, and my pain meds have worn off. My body is literally burning with pain.

Suddenly I hear a shuffling, and then I'm being wheeled to a table in the back of the room.

By now my face is flushed with embarrassment, even my ears are red. I mumble a soft thank you.

When I look up, Edward is stepping out from behind me, and sets my books softly down on the tabletop in front of me. I give him a grateful but tight-lipped smile and stare down at my fisted hands that are now resting on my books.

The school has brought in tables, to each of my classrooms that would otherwise be inaccessible for me. It's a nice gesture, but it's lonely. All day I've sat by myself, behind everyone, apart from the group.

Which is why I'm startled when I hear Edward drag a chair over and sit down next to me.

"What are you doing?" I whisper to him.

He shrugs and finally looks me in the eye. "Sitting with you. You're a part of the class, too. You shouldn't have to sit by yourself." His gaze drops down to his book quickly.

I'm stunned. Edward has always seemed like a…well, a _brat_ before, selfish and conceited. Now he's acting like a human being, maybe this is the _real_ Edward. After all, I had only known him for a few days before the accident. But if this is how he really is, I could see us becoming good friends.

I swallow audibly; it feels like I'm swallowing my pride. Biting my bottom lip, I reach over and pat his arm softly.

When he looks up, I nod at him and whisper, "Thank you."

He nods, and something passes over his eyes, something a little darker, almost a pained look. I can't take his pity, I don't want anyone's pity. I force myself to look away from his gaze, and I focus on the lecture.

* * *

><p>Art rolls around, and I finally break the ice with Alice. I apologize for ignoring her and explain why I've been such a shitty person lately. She, of course, is totally understanding, which placates me, but still makes me feel guilty. She asks me how I'm feeling, and I answer with a shrug and tell her I'm okay.<p>

We talk about the Edward situation, which seems like it happened such a long time ago. I'd almost forgot about the silly little game. I tell her I'm over it, and that life is too short to fuck around, messing with each other's heads. She completely agrees and says it was fun while it lasted. I agree.

We move on to other topics, and eventually, I address the elephant in the room. After talking about the accident with her for a little while, and mentioning Jake's email, but leaving out the whole - seeing him in the ER - thing…she drops a bomb on me.

Turns out, Edward is _the_ witness who saw the entire crash. He had just passed the logging truck because it was driving recklessly, and he wanted to get as far away from it as he could. He kept his eyes on the rearview mirror, because he was worried the truck was going to cause a wreck.

When he saw it collide with my car, he dialed 911 immediately. She goes on to tell me that he instantly whipped his car around, and, as soon as he realized I was in the car, he dialed 911 again, frantically in search of Charlie. Edward waited with me, trying to wake me up until the ambulance got there.

As soon as the ambulance arrived, he spoke with the dispatcher again and was informed of Charlie's whereabouts. After he was sure we were being taken care of, he went to Billy's to pick Charlie and Billy up. All of the responding officers on the scene were too busy securing it to go notify him immediately. Edward knew Charlie should be there.

I can't stop the tears that are running down my face as she tells me all of this.

Edward probably saved my life.

"Bella, you can't tell him I told you this though! He doesn't know that I know everything. My Mom told me. You promise you won't tell, right?" Her eyes are slightly panicked, and so sincere.

"I won't bring it up, for now, but eventually I'll have to talk to him about it…but I won't tell him you told me."

She's pacified.

Ten minutes later, we're on our way to lunch.

_How am I going to look at him?_ Knowing he saw me at my worst…and yet so grateful that he was responsible enough to act when staring a tragedy in the face. I don't know if I should ignore him, talk to him, or hug him.

I decide against the hugging, and the ignoring, and really the talking, too. I just sort of sit there for a while. Politely joining into conversation when being spoken to, other than that, I keep quiet.

Finally, I hear Emmett's gentile voice, "So Bella, what are all of your..._injuries_?" He winces as he says it, not wanting to be the one to bring it up, but probably too afraid to even be near me until he knows what he can and cannot do to avoid causing me pain.

_No patting Bella on the back for you big buddy._

"Well, I have a few broken ribs, and my left knee is fractured. Some bruising internally, scratches and lacerations from the broken glass…other than that I'm a-okay. It could have been a lot worse, _I guess_." I give him a tight smile, missing Jake, and trying as hard as I can to not shoot a meaningful glance at Edward. He saved me, but it was too late for Jake...

_Died on impact..._

_Sometimes I think it's harder being the survivor…_

I snap out of it my dark thoughts. "But I do need to figure out _how_ and _where_ I'm going to do physical therapy soon." I sigh, defeated.

Emmett perks up at this, and it makes me scowl. "Bella! That's great! You can come to our house for your physical therapy!"

My face must show my confusion because he laughs at me and continues on, "We've got an indoor pool and hot tub, weight equipment, everything you'd need to recover fully. I'd even help you. I want to go into sports medicine in the future anyway. It'd be good practice for me."

I look up at him apprehensively. "Emmett, do you really think that's a good idea? I mean, not that I don't think you're not capable, because I'm sure you are..." I backtrack when I see his face fall. "It's just…with my dwarfism, and the severity of the breaks…aren't they going to make me see a certified physical therapist?"

He pauses for a second, then quirks his eyebrow at me. "Wait, you're a…_what_? You're not just really short? Like a midget?" Apparently I have never come out and admitted my "disability" to Emmett before.

I roll my eyes. "Emmett...I'm a dwarf."

His eyes go wide, and he beams the biggest, most childish smile I've ever seen.

"Can you make sure Santa gets my Christmas list?"

_Fuck, what is it with all of these short people/elf/midget jokes lately? First Jessica, then Mom, now Emmett._

_He heard about what I did to Jessica, pretty sure he should watch himself. _

"Good one, but that's an elf. Oh, and Em?" I say sickly sweet.

"Yeah, Bells?" he asks curiously.

"Fuck you," I deadpan.

He guffaws loudly and slams his hand on the table good naturedly. "Shit, Bells, you're right. In that case, say 'Hi' to Snow White for me. Which one of the dwarves are you anyway? I'm placing my bets on Grumpy or Dopey."

I glare daggers at him, and he quickly cleans up his act.

"Uh, well, all joking aside, if you're comfortable with it, Bella, I'll ask my dad if he thinks it's a good idea. That way you won't have to travel to Port Angeles just to be seen, and it'll be semi private sessions."

Alice decides it's her turn to chime in, "_Ooh_! _Ooh_! I'll help! _Please_?"

I sigh, again. "I really appreciate it, Alice."

Rose crows, "You know I'm in."

Jasper nods with her.

Edward just shrugs.

_Great...this will be very, very humiliating. _

* * *

><p><strong>Links:<strong>  
>(Fix the (dots) with .'s and remove the spaces)<p>

Song Inspiration: Timing Is Everything - Garrett Hedlund http : / www (dot) youtube (dot) com/ watch?v=xvN5IkJSktw

(Jakes Email)  
>OK Go's <em>Here We Go <em>video: http : / www (dot) youtube (dot) com/ watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

Evolution of Dance: http : / www (dot) youtube (dot) com/ watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

* * *

><p>Fic Recs:<p>

**Comp Sem 101 **by: _bornonhalloween_

http : / www dot fanfiction (dot) net /s/7038055/1/ Comp_Sem_101

What happens when a scholarship athlete and an English major from opposite coasts meet in a freshman writing seminar? Will they be drawn together or forced apart by their weekly discoveries of themselves and each other? All human college coeds!

I love this story! Combine English Major Bella who struggles with being overweight and has mommy issues with a dyslexic golfWard and you get gold! Seriously, I am digging this story hard right now! It's 16 chapters in but they're uber long!

* * *

><p><strong>Insatiable Desires <strong>by: ItzMegan73

http : / megatales (dot) com /?p=494

Rated NC-17 – What happens when the paths of two teenage hyper-sexuals cross?

The summary really doesn't do it justice. This story is _Hot_! With a capital H. I wasn't sure I'd get into it at first - but when you get a couple of chapters in, the chemistry and sexual tension between ExB is explosive! It's pretty awesome! lol

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: I'd like to thank PTB for being my beta, and Stef (MzBionic) for keeping me sane. <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>To my readers,<strong>

**I am so **_**so so so so**_** very sorry for keeping you waiting for this chapter. This excuse is going to sound dreadfully lame, and I am SO sorry again, but I honestly, had a very realistic dream that I had already updated… and then realized yesterday when I checked my stories that I hadn't! I've been sitting on this chapter for a week! I am **_**so**_** scatterbrained. I'm sorry, lovies, I feel absolutely rotten. **

**Forgive me? **

**xxoo**

**Missy**

**_P.S. My O/S 'Summertime Blues' won the "School's out for Summer" contest hosted by the Twi Girls Next Door! I had an awesome time writing it! If you're looking for a little ExB banter with some lemony zest, check it out on my Author page! _**

**_My author interview is posted here: http : / www (dot) twigirlsnextdoor (dot) com/2011/08/twigirls-news-810 (dot) html?zx = dbbad3a62382efad_**

**_Also, Little Miss got recced on the Twi Girls Next Door page! It's a little ways below my Author Interview under Tuesday's Tidbits. vbfb1 wrote the rec for LM and also made me a beautiful banner for Little Miss! So now I have two beautiful banners for this story! And she even found a perfect 'little person' to use for it as Bella. I feel so blessed! _**

**_vbfb1 - if you're reading this - thank you! You'll never know how much it means to me that you're enjoying this story and took the time to make a banner for me! It was the background picture on my computer for weeks! (Until my baby niece, Aubrie, was born ;) lol )_**

* * *

><p>Thank you readers, I love you! You're the butterscotch in my pudding!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8: Love Don't Run

**"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."****  
><strong>_— __**Buddha**_

* * *

><p><strong>This is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt like hell<strong>  
><strong>This is gonna damn near kill me, sometimes the truth ain't easy<strong>  
><strong>I know that you're scared of telling me something<strong>  
><strong>I don't wanna hear baby believe that<strong>  
><strong>I'm not leaving, you couldn't give me one good reason<strong>

**Love don't run, love don't hide**  
><strong>It won't turn away or back down from a fight<strong>  
><strong>Baby I'm right here, and I ain't going anywhere<strong>  
><strong>Love's too tough, it won't give up—no not on us<strong>  
><strong>Baby love don't run<strong>

_**Love Don't Run — Steve Holy**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8:<br>Love Don't Run  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV- <strong>_

Somehow, Emmett talked Carlisle into allowing him to provide my physical therapy.

To say I was shocked to hear the news would be an understatement; to say I wasn't nervous at first would be a damn lie.

_The kid is bat-shit crazy, I'm just sayin'. _

But deep down I know he'll keep me safe and not push me any further than I'm physically able to go, so I relented. I still have about a week and a half before we are going to start, and _realistically _I can change my mind at anytime. That is one aspect I can find comfort in.

Swimming in front of the Cullens and Hales, on the other hand, does not sound comforting. They're all so genetically blessed, and here I am, a dwarf with a ghetto booty. I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat either; I'm curved. Not quite as full-figured as Rose, but not as thin as Alice. I just feel, _weird_ in front of them_...inadequate_.

Plus, being in a swimsuit with boys around spells all sorts of trouble. All of my suits from Phoenix are tube bikinis, because Mom believes visible tan lines are hideous.

_She's a weirdo. _

I guess it's not really like I need to be nervous around Emmett and Jasper; those boy-toys are distracted by their girlfriends, and even if that weren't the case, there still isn't any physical chemistry there. However, being around Edward lately has been weird.

I'm not attracted to him—wait, that's a lie—I'm definitely attracted to him. I mean, he's a good-looking guy, I'll give him that. But I'm a realistic person, and _realistically,_ I see nothing happening between us. Any girl in their right mind would be attracted to him; I'm just a girl with a brain and a functioning sense of sight.

I would never act on my physical attraction for Edward, and I never intend to admit it to anyone, because none of it is substantial. Reality does not need to check itself at my door, because I know there will never be an Edward and Bella. There's just Edward. And then there's Bella. And that's exactly how things will stay. It would be silly of me to even entertain any other scenario.

_So I think Edward is cute, big deal. _

Aside from my graciousness about his role in the accident, I've been keeping my distance when it comes to him. He's not really like other guys I've met before, and that scares me a little bit.

Edward is the kind of boy you fall for, and you never get back up. He's the kind of boy whose back you rub in kindergarten for extra attention, or whose hair you playfully mess with in junior high to piss him off—so that he'll know you exist. Edward is the boy you start holding hands with as junior high ends, and the boy you give your first…_everything _to when high school rolls around. He's everything a girl's mother warns her about, yet he's everything every girl wants, and he's always unattainable.

He's beautiful to a fault, pretty funny but in a dry, egotistical way. He has a reputation for getting around, but I've never actually seen a girl hang on him at school. His body is lean, yet he's toned in all the right places. It's probably a good thing that he has a strong body—you'd have to be strong to carry around his huge ego every day.

Basically, he's beautiful, but oh, so very vain, and sometimes he literally makes me want to slap him _and_ hug him—at the same time.

His personality and my personality combined would be explosive. Not that any of that really matters, because like I said—I'd never act on any of it. I don't even really know him. I don't know who his first girlfriend was, or what his favorite color is, what he likes to watch on TV, or his favorite food.

Realistically, we're strangers, only connected by a tragedy, a few friends, and the claustrophobic space of a typical small town.

I've learned quickly that Edward is very guarded and untrusting. Rumor has it that a relationship with an old flame left him salty, but Alice and Rosalie have never brought it up, and I won't ask. I personally just think it's his ego.

As my relationship with Alice and Rosalie grows, mine and Edward's has kind of stayed frozen. Never changing, always the least amount of words exchanged, a few glances, a smile here and there...still lab partners and sitting side by side in class...but never really getting to know one another.

I'm okay with it. The drama has stayed at bay. Thankfully, Jessica hasn't even looked at me since I've returned. I go to school each day, serve my time, and leave.

_Easy as pie. _

Except for when I think about Jacob. That's when the fingers of guilt trickle in and wrap themselves around my heart, clenching it and leaving me with a festering hole where at one time a bright friendship bloomed. I can't help but feel guilty about all of the time and opportunities I've wasted, knowing he'll never again get a chance to experience these menial high school experiences.

I try not to take things for granted, and I push myself each day to do more, to see more, to want more, to breathe more, to laugh more, to love more, and most of all…to live more. I know that's exactly how Jacob would want it.

* * *

><p>Charlie and Billy have been offered a very large settlement from King Trucking Corporation.<p>

I know they're not in this for the monetary gain. It's about recovering what's been lost, paying for medical bills, funeral costs, pain, suffering, lifestyle changes, etcetera. It feels weird to think about coming into that kind of money...and living in Forks.

My stepfather, Phil, has a lot of money, but it just goes with the lifestyle. Phoenix is a very large city, and a lot of people in Phoenix have money. Here, well, the only other rich people are...well, the Cullens, the Hales, and now us—the Swans.

Most of Forks' citizens are made up of comfortably living, middle-class, working people. The Newtons own the sporting goods store in town, but they're still far from the lifestyle my newly acquired friends are used to.

Dr. Cullen is a world-renowned surgeon and geneticist, who is stuck here because his wife believes in the benefits of raising teenagers in a small town versus a large, crime infested city. His salary—even though he's living in Forks—is astronomical. The hospital makes most of their revenue off of him, he has cases and patients from all across the country who come to see him.

From what I've gathered, Mr. Hale is either a lawyer or some type of wealthy, traveling businessman, and I'm not sure what Mrs. Hale does. They're always away on business or vacations, but not without making sure their kids are financially provided for during their duration alone.

I can relate to Rosalie and Jasper—often times when Renee would find a new flame, I'd be left to fend for myself. Never for as long as they have, but it's still the same situation. Even though Renee didn't always act like a parental figure when I lived with her, I still always knew I was loved. I never had to question whether she cared for me.

It doesn't seem quite like that for Rosalie and Jasper, so I'm glad they've found the Cullens.

If there's one thing I've learned from the Hales and the Cullens in my short time here, it's that money can buy a lot of things, but love isn't one of them.

Charlie has decided that even with the money from the settlement, he's going to keep working. I think it's an admirable decision.

He says that it's not really his money; it's mine because the accident happened to me, not him.

I see what he's saying, but I really don't care about money.

I just still really want my friend back.

* * *

><p>Time flies by. We close on our new house and begin a few renovations on it. The house is beautiful. It's a one level; four bedroom, four bath, custom-built home on the outskirts of town.<p>

My bedroom is in the back of the house, along with a smaller bedroom I've converted into an art studio/guest-room. I have my own bathroom; we ended up completely gutting it and remodeling the entire space to better suit my needs.

Renee insists I paint murals in my room and bathroom because she's persistent like that and is always encouraging me to stretch my artistic capabilities.

Meaning: _She wants me out of her hair so she can finish decorating, and she hasn't come up with a color scheme for my two rooms of the house yet. _

We talk through a few options and decide on a simple modern, yet elegant theme for my room.

After painting the side walls in my room a deep blue, the other two walls a silver gray color, and the ceiling a crisp white, I start the mural for my bedroom. It is only a white branch with a few silver flowers on it painted on the right wall, off to left hand side toward the back of my room.

In the end, I like the fact that it doesn't look like anything I've ever seen before; it almost looks unfinished. That fact oddly comforts me.

The bathroom is completely different than the cool tones of my bedroom. My bathroom is made up of really light browns and golden honey hues, and the cabinets are a deep, dark brown wood. All of the fixtures and accents are a warm dark bronze.

I paint a large distorted flower above the tub. The picture almost looks as though it's made of glass or marble and cracked into a million pieces, a lot like my slowly recovering heart.

I have no idea where the idea came from. I just had a lot of trouble sleeping the first weekend we moved in, and I would go into the bathroom at night and just paint. Charlie would have had a coronary if he would have seen me up on a ladder...in the bathtub, painting. But, he didn't, so his health is in perfectly good condition. And lucky for me—I didn't fall and re-injure myself.

I let Renee do all of the extra design work in the bathroom, and we picked out my bedroom furniture together. We chose modern furniture for my room, clean, but still personalized.

All in all, I love both rooms.

Charlie's room is in the front because he claims to like to know who's coming in and out of the house. I really think it's because he likes his privacy and doesn't want my music to keep him up all hours of the night. I'm not complaining, though, because I'm a teenager who likes her privacy, too.

There's another decent-sized bedroom just down the hall from Charlie's room. We keep that one reserved for when family visits, whether it be Renee or Gran (Grandma Swan).

* * *

><p>We closed on our old house just a few days after we moved into this house. A pair of newlyweds took interest in it a couple of weeks after we put it up for sale, so after a home inspection was completed and they got their finances together, we settled on a fair price, signed the papers, and handed over the keys.<p>

Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper helped us move into the new house. Alice is excited, because it is, as she says, "ridiculously close to her house." I wouldn't know, because I haven't been over there yet, but she claims that it is practically within walking distance to her house.

Part of me is slightly nervous about living that close to the Cullens, but the other part of me thinks it'd be hilarious to see Alice actually _walk_ to my house from hers...through the woods...in her _Manolos_.

A blessing in disguise is that my mom has decided to stay until we're completely settled. Which really means she wants to decorate, but I can't complain.

We were able to spend Thanksgiving together as a family, with my mom, dad, Phil, and Billy; it was really nice, but a little lonely. It felt like my entire family was together_...except for Jake._

I've come to terms with the fact that I will always miss Jacob Black.

Jacob will always be a warm ache in my chest. He was the closest thing I'd known to a brother or a true friend, and I'm slightly afraid of letting someone in like that again.

What if I lose them too?

* * *

><p>Emmett gives me an extra week after the house is done to <em>"get my shit together" <em>before he starts my physical therapy. I'm grateful. It lets me stretch myself and see what my limits are, and it gives me a little more time with my Mom before she leaves.

She and I hang out every spare moment we have. We've been so busy between me going to school and her helping renovate the house with Dad; she's played a big role in getting us settled in.

Mom did the majority of the unpacking. Every time Dad would go near a box, she'd stand behind him and make sure he was putting everything where she felt it belonged.

Eventually, he got irritated with her hovering around behind him and plucking each item he put away, moving it to a different location. He told her to either put shit away on her own and tell him where it was later, or give him directions on where she wanted things so he could move quicker and it wouldn't be a wasted effort.

She calmed down a little after that.

Surprisingly, there wasn't any awkward tension between my parents. They managed fine as friends. I could tell Dad still cared for her a bit more romantically than platonic; but he never made anything awkward and never acted on his feelings. Mom still adored him but in a purely friendly way.

I admired the fact that they were a divorced couple, behaving civilly to one another, not for my benefit but because they actually got along. It was nice; after so much time I'd had with one or the other, to actually spend time with both my mom and dad at the same time.

* * *

><p>School goes by at a snail's pace. My days pass so painstakingly slowly, each day I'm more anxious to get home, knowing my days with Mom are limited.<p>

Deep down, I hope she returns to Forks more often to visit, but I doubt she'll be able to. I can tell how much she misses Phil. It'll be years before I will be able to drag her away from him again for this long.

But I understand; he's her lover and her best friend. I try not to feel resentment about the latter, and I console myself with the knowledge that I'm her best girl friend.

The accident helped me realize how much I like spending time with her. She's hilariously funny, really quirky, and can sometimes be downright foul. It is from her that I've inherited some of my best qualities—if I do say so myself.

One bad thing about Mom being in Forks was the day she met Edward. No, that definitely was not a good time. She fanned herself every time he turned around, and then she'd wink at me. After he left, I kept telling her how mad I was at her, and that would ever happen between Edward and I in a romantic way. She said we had chemistry, and said she didn't believe me when I told her I wasn't interested in him. I tuned her out when she started babbling about how cute our children would be, only replying with a snarky, "I don't care how cute our imaginary, future love children would be, there is nothing going on between Edward and I."

She just replied with, "If there isn't now, there will be."

I'm glad I haven't forgotten how to ignore her and her hare-brained schemes.

* * *

><p>After all of the unpacking is done, Mom and I are finally able to spend more time together. We play old board games, watch movies, dabble with candle making (which we fail miserably at, burning ourselves repeatedly on the hot wax). Finally, we resort to making scrapbooks. Except she is making me do all of the sketches instead of using clip art and templates, so it is taking us twice as long as it normally would.<p>

I opt out of doing a second one, using my school work as an excuse.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures._

Speaking of school. Due to the accident, I've missed a lot of school, so I don't have to sing a solo in the Fall Music Concert. _Technically,_ solos were optional for concerts, but Miss Denali tracked me down upon my return and asked me to sing at least one solo and one duet for the Christmas concert.

Miss Denali also mentioned the solo and ensemble competition coming up and dropped a few not-so-subtle hints about me needing to sign up. At first, I ignore her and try to think of an excuse to get out of it…until she mentions it's forty percent of my grade.

_With all of my absences, I can use all the help I can get. _

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, time has a way of catching up with us, and before I know it, Mom is flying back to Florida.<p>

Dad and I take her to SeaTac airport. Thankfully, her flight is on time, and there seem to be no complications that will stress her out.

Her flight is straight through with no layovers, and she's expected to land at JAX in less than five hours.

We hug and sob through a tearful goodbye. People stare at us, but I can't be bothered with anyone else.

I can already feel the loneliness encroaching on me.

When a mother and daughter are as close as she and I are—_were_—it makes it difficult to separate for long periods of time.

But I finally get it, and I'm not upset about living in Forks anymore. I understand that life is too short to _not _do what you love, and it's too short to _not_ be with the person you love. I also know that my mom loves me, but her love for me is not the same as it is for Phil and once was for my dad.

I can honestly say I've never known that kind of love, but I'd like to think that if it ever came around, I'd make the right decision, too.

I'd like to think I wouldn't run away from it—that it wouldn't scare me away.

But love can be terrifying and frustrating. Terrifying because you don't want to lose it. And frustrating because it takes so much effort to make it work.


	9. Chapter 9: Scrumptious

**"A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home." **

_**- Author Unknown**_

* * *

><p><strong>And that's why I smile<br>It's been a while  
>Since every day and everything has<br>Felt this right  
>And now you turn it all around<br>And suddenly you're all I need  
>The reason why I smile<strong>

_**Smile - by, Avril Lavigne**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9:<br>**_**Scrumptious**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

Home life without Mom is quiet, desolate. Charlie is still working full-time, and I've found myself spending a lot of time by myself lately.

This week passes in a mournful haze, till it's finally Friday.

At school, Rosalie and Alice pull me aside and frown at me sadly.

"Bella," Rosalie says heavily, through a deep sigh.

"It's time for an intervention. We can't stand to see you mope around, missing Renee, and being so damn introverted. You need to have a little fun and loosen up," Alice speaks determinedly.

"Yeah, you need to let your hair down, Bella. Let us show you a good time." Rose smiles warmly at me.

Rosalie has been driving me to and from school this week — along with Alice — and I guess they're a little worried about me.

"So, we've decided…" Rosalie trails off, letting Alice take the reins again.

"That we're all gonna have a sleepover! At my house. For the entire weekend! Isn't that great, Bella?" Alice jumps up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

My face pales, and my eyes glaze over.

I didn't see that coming.

_The entire weekend?_

I've never been invited to a sleepover before — and have never really been interested in them. I always knew I'd have more fun at home with Renee than with any of the snotty girls at school.

Now, suddenly, these two are springing this on me?

_Are they for real? Aren't we a little too old for this shit? _

"Well, uh, actually, I've gotta help Charlie this weekend…" I start to object.

"We are _not_ taking _no_ for an answer," Rose states firmly.

That doesn't stop me from trying to talk my way out of it, but it's to no avail. I even play the _"Charlie won't allow me to stay overnight because boys will be there"_ card.

Alice calls him, charms him, and talks his ass into pretty much letting her do whatever she wants.

_Fuck. Me. _

Alice is an unstoppable force. Add Rosalie to the mix, and they could definitely form some type of World Domination Duo.

It's hardly fair, considering I'm no match for either one of them separately, let alone combined. They're smooth talkers, and they don't make it easy to take the path of least resistance—that's for sure. They absolutely refuse to let me wallow in my own self pity any longer.

After being thoroughly tag-teamed and forced into _Operation: Slumber Party_, they drive me back to my house so I can pack my clothes for the weekend.

This is the first time they are seeing the house totally renovated and unpacked. To say they approve would be putting it _mildly_.

"Holy shit, Bella. This place is amazing! It was nice before, but this is… It's like a totally different house." says Rose.

I can imagine their surprise, it looks a lot different than the last time they saw it.

"Oh my Gosh, my mom would love this place! You'll have to invite her over to check it out, Bella. This is going to be our new hangout spot—y'know, for when we want to get away from the boys. We'll even have our own bodyguard: _Chief Swan, at our service!_ Now we won't have to go over to Rose's every time my parents entertain; we'll hang out here at _Casa de Bella!_" Alice booms while touring the main areas of the house.

I roll my eyes at her and trudge into my bedroom, shoving the door open and heading straight for my closet to find my overnight bag.

"Exactly what are the plans for this weekend, ladies?" I call from the bedroom.

"You know, a little this, a little that. Haven't you ever been to a sleepover before, Bella?" Alice's voice grows quiet as she steps into my room.

She and Rose stop dead in their tracks once they are standing in the center of my bedroom. Their mouths are wide open, their eyes are glazed over; I become worried that they've both gone into a state of shock.

"What?" I ask, slightly afraid that they've seen a ghost or a huge spider in the corner.

_Lord, please don't let our new house be haunted…unless it's Jake…he'd be a nice ghost. _

"What are you guys looking at? You're freaking me out!" I exclaim nervously.

_Oh…and Lord? Please don't let it be infested with bugs either. _

_Thank you. _

"Bella, your room is…" Rose trails off.

"…amazing," Alice finishes for her.

"Yeah," Rose adds, nodding.

"Uh, okay, thanks…I guess," I mumble, embarrassed and humbled.

"No, seriously, the mural is beautiful. I've been in art classes for years and could never make something like that. It's simple but elegantly beautiful, and modern all at the same time. It makes the room flow so effortlessly. Your room is so_…you._ Beautiful and simple," Rose says matter-of-factly.

I blush furiously. "Thanks, Rose. There's another mural in the bathroom."

Alice and Rose scramble into my adjoining bathroom.

"Holy shit!" I can hear Rosalie's muffled exclamation from my bedroom.

"How did you even do this? It's so intricate and detailed," Alice asks wondrously, standing in the doorway between my bedroom and bathroom.

Twisting my mouth to the side, I shrug. "I don't know. I couldn't sleep."

I stuff a few more things into my overnight bag and make my way into the bathroom to pack my toiletries.

In a successful attempt to change the subject, I ask, "Seriously, what are the plans for this weekend? Is Emmett going to start therapy this weekend or do I get more time? Should I bring my swimsuit?"

Rosalie grins. "Yeah. You start therapy tomorrow. We'll be swimming a lot. We'll also just chill at their place, watch movies, give each other makeovers, and play games, the usual." She shrugs.

"M-makeovers?" I stutter.

"Yep!" Alice jumps off her perch on the sink and dances over to me on her tippy toes.

"We're going to get you all sexified this weekend. Edward won't know what hit him!" She smirks evilly.

"Alice, I don't think it's such a great idea to mess with him anymore. After all the stuff he's done for me. We're sorta becoming friends," I ramble.

"Ah, Bella, Bella, Bella, it's fine! Eddie Boy appreciates a good chase. Besides, if you two would get your heads out of your own asses, you'd probably be a really cute couple," Rose says.

"I'm sorry, what? Edward and I? No, I don't think so." I shake my head as my cheeks burn hotter than a fire poker.

"You know what, Rose? You're _absolutely _right. They would be." Alice hops on board faster than a nympho in a cat house.

"Uhm, no. Both of you meddling bitches had better just slow your rolls. If I want to make an ass of myself, I'll do it on my own terms and spare my love life in the process. Focus on your own relationships instead of mine, please and thank you very much," I say adamantly, giving them a stern look, and hoping they buy my tough girl attitude.

They smile like Cheshire cats.

"No problem, Bella," Rose replies.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Alice retorts.

For some reason I don't think this will be the last time we have this conversation.

. . . . . . .

Alice and Rose advise me to change into my swimsuit before we leave, and they tell me to wear it under my clothes so we can swim right after dinner. I grab the last suit I have—that I haven't already packed into my overnight bag—and throw it on. I purposely didn't pack it earlier because it's skimpy and to me it seems slightly small on my body.

_I can hardly ever say that something is too small on me. Perks of being a little person I guess. _

The suit is black with purple glitter all over it. The bikini top is strapless, and there's a gold circle that rests between my boobs to hold the pieces together. The bottom is basically a skimpy pair of boy-shorts. It's much too revealing for my comfort zone, but Renee bought it for me anyway. Her motto was, "If you got it, flaunt it." I always asked her just exactly what "it" was, and she'd turn red in the face and give me a brush-off.

Needless to say, the only other time besides now that I've ever worn this suit would be when she first purchased it for me. This will be the first time it actually serves its purpose and touches water. _Aside from washing it, of course._

As I slip it on, I pray that the boys are busy tonight and not joining us for our after-dinner swim.

. . . . . . .

The drive to Alice's house is literally one minute long. We pull out of my driveway, drive the distance of probably a few blocks, and we're pulling into the Cullens' driveway.

At first, the Cullens' driveway seems like a typical gravel road, and that's exactly what I would have thought if there hadn't been a big sign at the turn off that said _Cullen _on it. The driveway is gravel until we get closer to the house, then it smoothes out into a very detailed pattern stamped in concrete.

I half expect there to be big wrought iron gates and gargoyles, but that isn't the case. The long and narrow driveway loops into a circle right in front of the house for easier access, and there's a modest sized fountain in the middle of it.

After tearing my eyes away from the fountain, I look up at the beautifully enormous house before me.

"Wow! Your house is beautiful, Alice. I haven't seen one this big since I moved up here. It's really nice."

I know I sound lame, but they just spent the last forty-five minutes complimenting my house, when in all actuality, Alice's place is so much bigger, and probably a lot nicer.

Again, my feelings of being inadequate creep back in. I feel like the awkward duckling in a pond full of swans. Alice and Rose's parents come from money, and they're in successful non-broken relationships.

They've all made their own money, and earned their own things. The only reason Charlie and I have nice things is because of the accident. No one wants to come into money that way. I'd trade it all back for my friend, in an instant.

The main inadequacy is the friendship though. I'll always be the new girl, the outsider, I don't have a past with these people. The only reason I can even say that I'm a part of this group is because they (meaning, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper—I'm not so sure about Edward, yet.) want me in it—I don't truly belong here like they do. They're all linked, I'm just…_not_.

_I wonder if I'll ever feel equal to these amazing people I call my friends?_

We park right outside the three-car garage, and we all help each other unpack the car. I brought two bags along with me, a small one for toiletries and a duffel for clothes. Rosalie has four bags. She claims that we need a lot of options for our makeover. I cringe at the thought and pretend I don't hear her.

As we walk inside of the Cullen home, the smell of garlic and home-cooked food hangs heavily in the air, and my stomach immediately growls embarrassingly loudly.

I blush and trip over my shoes as I try to kick them off by the coat closet. My attempt at being polite and agile quickly floats away, and I trip into the wall, knocking myself and my bags to the ground.

And because fate loves to fuck with me, Edward happens to be walking around the corner right after I take my tumble, so he trips over my bag, and falls as well.

And when I say he trips over my bag, I really mean he literally falls over _me_. His knee bangs against my duffel bag that fell just to my right, sending him tumbling into the air, and he lands just to the left of me.

My traitor bitch mouth also decides to pipe up mid-fall, and I shout, "Mayday! Mayday! Going down!"

Alice and Rosalie think it's the funniest thing they've ever seen in their entire lives and keep repeating it as I pick myself up off the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Edward! By now, you should probably be aware of how accident prone I am. These things just…happen to me sometimes." I am shaking my head and gesturing with my hands, and I'm sure I look like a nervous wreck.

He's sitting on the floor, his mouth agape. After a beat, he finally gets up and stalks off.

"I'll be downstairs," he calls over his shoulder, to no one in particular.

At this point, I glare at Alice and Rose as I grab my bags, throwing them over my shoulder and follow the girls to Alice's room; which is apparently on the other end of the house.

"Dude…" I huff, now dragging my bags and attempting to stay close to Alice and Rosalie.

"If I have to pee in the middle of the night, I'm gonna get lost. You're going to have to send out the wolves to find me or something. There'll be flairs and pictures of me on milk cartons," I ramble tiredly, slightly out of breath.

Alice and Rose giggle. "There's a bathroom with every bedroom. You'll be fine."

As I enter Alice's room, I toss my bags aside and drop down onto her soft, plush carpet.

"Finally, a soft place to rest! I feel like we've been walking for _days_!" I over exaggerate as I sprawl out and mimic making snow angels on Alice's carpet.

Suddenly, a strong melodic voice calls down the hall, "Alice? You home, honey?"

"Yeah, Mom. We'll be right out," she answers.

"She probably wants help with dinner, and she's very excited to meet you, Bella." Alice smiles.

I groan softly. "We're moving again? Oh man, I think I need a piggyback. If I meet Edward in the stairway, it could spell disaster!" We all chuckle and head downstairs to the kitchen.

I hop on Alice's back at the foot of the stairs; we all laugh, though, because I'm probably the only person Alice can effortlessly carry around the house.

Alice's mom starts chuckling as we enter the kitchen, and Alice sits me down on a stool at the breakfast bar and then walks around to greet her mother.

"Well, it's nice to see you, too, girls." She smiles at Rose and Alice. "Hello, Bella, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. The kids have told me so much about you; it's nice to finally be able to put a face to a name." She shakes my hand gently.

"It's very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen. Alice speaks very highly of both you and Doctor Cullen." I know I'm turning fifty shades of red, but I was raised to be polite, especially to my elders.

"Oh, Bella, dear, you are too sweet. You may call me Esme, and _Doctor Cullen_ is usually referred to as 'dad', 'bonehead', or 'Carlisle' around here," she says with a smile. "And Alice is probably only being so sweet because I haven't pulled her credit card privileges lately." She chuckles mischievously as Alice tries to swat at her playfully.

_It's official. Mrs. Cullen—I mean—_Esme…_is good people. _

My mom would love her.

She turns back to Alice, frowning slightly. "Where's your brother, dear? I was hoping Edward would taste test the spaghetti sauce for me," she says, looking around to see if Edward is nearby.

"Well, you see, Ma," Rosalie starts.

I smile at her and Esme's obvious closeness, even though the Cullens' aren't Rose and Jasper's biological parents, they still act the part.

"Our Bella here…" Rose continues but I interrupt her, knowing she's about to tell Esme how I practically maimed her son not ten minutes ago.

My face reddens immediately, and I raise my hand slightly. "Uh, that is probably my fault. I sorta…collided with him when we were walking inside the front door. Afterwards, he mentioned going downstairs."

As my luck would have it, I don't get away with just telling her the shortened version. Alice and Rose give Esme a full play-by-play of the fiasco, and within seconds all three of them are hunched over in a fit of giggles at my expense.

"Not cool, ladies, not cool," I grumble and shake my head as I try not to chuckle with them. I fail miserably.

After our giggles subside, Esme asks me to help her with the sauce since Edward isn't here to do it for her. She has Alice and Rose chopping the ingredients for the salad, and she's putting the finishing touches on the garlic loaf.

Alice quickly grabs a household step stool from the pantry closet and slides it in front of the stove for me.

"Thanks, Ali," I whisper gratefully.

"No problem, B. You know I got your back." She winks playfully and swats my butt as I step up to the stove and start stirring the sauce.

After adding a little bit of garlic and onion powder, I ask, "Esme, have you ever tried adding brown sugar to the sauce?"

All three of them turn to me and give me their best imitation of the "people's eyebrow", looking at me like I'd lost my damn mind.

_Do you smell what the Nugget's cookin'? _

Don't ask. Charlie and I used to watch way too much wrestling when I was younger. And nugget is a nickname I've gone by for years. It's a term of endearment for me as a little person.

"No, I'm serious. Let's put some in a bowl and try it."

Esme spoons some sauce and meat into a bowl, and I sprinkle a little brown sugar in, stir it up, and then I let them taste it.

"So?" I ask once they've all taken a bite.

"Mmm, oh, Bella, that's really good," Rosalie purrs.

"Scrum-diddly-dumptious!" Alice exclaims.

"Divine," Esme remarks proudly, nodding her head.

"Bella, if you're comfortable enough, you can finish the sauce. I need to slice the garlic bread, and Alice and Rose can set the table in the dining room, okay girls?"

We all agree and set out to do our tasks.

I should have known Esme had an ulterior motive for getting Alice and Rose out of the kitchen. As soon as the kitchen door swings shut, she starts firing questions at me.

Only, instead of being nervous and awkward, it's surprisingly pleasant. I keep myself busy with the food, and she doesn't press too hard on topics I don't like to discuss.

The only time it is even remotely awkward is when she asks how Edward and I have been getting along. I have a feeling she talks to her son a lot more than she lets on, though, because she asks me about the Jessica Stanley situation, and many other things that took place my first week at Forks High.

"She's not bothering you anymore, is she, Bella?" Esme inquires worriedly.

"No, no. She hasn't said anything to me since the accident. I wouldn't be surprised if it starts again, but I kind of think Rose may have threatened her. I'm not sure what is going on with that situation, but for now she's staying quiet." I assure her the best I can.

"How have you been…regarding the accident and everything…you're getting on okay? I mean, for the circumstances, you're alright?" she asks maternally.

I nod at her, unsure of my voice at first. "The best I can be, I guess." I shrug.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry for bringing it up. We've all just been really worried about you. I can tell you mean a lot to the kids already, and I know your Mom just went back home, so I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, or if you need anything at all, I'm here."

Surprisingly, I can actually see myself taking her up on that offer.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, _Esme._" I smile.

She wraps me in a quick hug, and we get back to business.

. . . . . . .

We have supper on the table by the time Doctor Cullen gets home from work.

I mean _Carlisle._

_I think a better name would be Pretty Daddy, but I probably shouldn't start calling him that in my head, because it's sure to slip out eventually. _

"Esme, the sauce is delicious. Did you try something different?" Carlisle asks curiously.

Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and Rose are digging into their plates ravenously. The rest of us eat at a slower pace. It isn't that I'm not starving; I just don't want to look like a bigger fool than I already have in front of Alice's family.

Goodness, I almost wiped Edward out at the knees upon entering. Carlisle has seen me on a morphine drip. _Enough said._

"Actually, it's funny you should ask that, darling. Edward wasn't around when I was cooking supper, so I had Bella take over the sauce. She showed me a secret ingredient that really brings out the flavor."

Esme looks at me proudly, then gives Edward a pointed look and glances back to her husband with a smile on her face.

My eyes drop down to my plate as I twirl my noodles around and my face flushes with embarrassment.

"That's probably my fault; I sorta bulldozed him when I came inside," I mumble, trying to take the blame, but at the same time, hoping everybody just goes with it and doesn't stop to ask questions.

Alice and Rosalie both snicker, and Edward snorts as Carlisle's and Emmett's heads both snap up.

They both blurt at the same time, "Are you okay, Bella?"

I jump at the sound of both of their voices and nod my head yes.

"Yeah, it's no big deal, I'm fine," I respond.

Edward is slightly irritated. "I'm fine, too, in case anyone was wondering."

Carlisle and Emmett ignore him and start eating again.

. . . . . . .

After eating a delicious piece of _Torta di Mele_ (which is fancy Italian-speak for Apple Cake) for dessert, I stand from my seat and start to gather my dishes.

"No, no, dear, put that down," Esme admonishes.

I look at her curiously, wondering why she's lightly scolding me for picking up after myself.

"In this house, when the women cook, the men clean," Esme states warmly.

"Um…but I don't mind picking up after myself. Really, I can wash my own dishes," I start saying but am hushed quickly as Esme strides up to me and leans down to kiss my cheek.

"Child, you are so sweet. Don't you worry about a thing; the boys have everything under control. Isn't that right?" she asks the boys.

"Yeah, no worries, Beelzebub," Emmett says after he burps obnoxiously and rubs his belly softly, probably too stuffed to move. The kid packed away three platefuls of pasta.

I ignore his strange nickname and thank them for the meal, telling Esme it was delicious.

"C'mon, Bella! Time for you to see the pool!" Alice shouts enthusiastically.

"What? We're swimming now? Don't you know you have to wait at least thirty minutes before swimming after you eat? You'll cramp up and drown!" I am trying to get out of doing any more physical activity than I have to tonight.

Between getting up early, walking around school all day, trekking through the Cullen manor, and eating all of that fantastic food, all I really want to do is relax for a little bit.

"Bella, we agreed we'd swim after dinner, then we'll hang out and watch movies. Tomorrow we'll have girl time," Rosalie speaks nonchalantly.

"Girl time?" I ask, slightly intimidated.

"Girl time!" Emmett whoops, clearly excited.

"Like, PJs and lame-ass movies?" I ask after Carlisle and Esme walk into the kitchen.

"No, _that's_ later tonight, and you forgot the ice cream! Girl time is when we do makeup and pick out sexy outfits, y'know? That kinda thing," Alice says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I pause briefly, flicking my gaze back and forth among Emmett, Rose, and Alice.

"So, I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me," I start and briskly turn toward the kitchen door.

Sadly, I'm no match for the Cover Girl twins, Rosalie catches me and picks me up, one arm under my shoulders and the other under my knees.

"Rose! Holy shit! Put me down, you hooker!" I holler, momentarily forgetting that the parental units are only one room over.

Alice joins in by tickling me mercilessly as I thrash and swing my legs back and forth, trying to block her advances.

"Oh my Gosh, Alice! Please stop_! Please!_ Oh, I gotta _pee_! Put me down, _I gotta pee_!" I squeal as tears leak from my eyes, and my face flushes from exertion.

Rose swiftly sets me down on my feet.

"Bathroom?" I ask hurriedly, looking like a deer in headlights as I clench my thighs together and do my own version of the "pee pee dance."

"Down the hall to the right," Jasper replies quickly through his chuckles.

"Thanks!" I call out and start running down the hall.

When I find the bathroom, I quickly do my business, having to step onto my tip-toes to scoot up onto the toilet seat. When I finish, I look around for something to stand on to wash my hands.

When my search yields no results, I pull open the cupboard door underneath the sink and step up onto the ledge of the inside of the cupboard. It gives me just enough height to wet my hands under the faucet and scrub them quickly.

I make a mental note to grab the step stool from the kitchen for future bathroom excursions.

After my business is taken care of, I step out into the hall and roam around looking for Rose and Alice.

The dining room is now vacant, so I pop into the kitchen and smile when I see the boys and Carlisle all hard at work. Emmett is scraping plates and munching on leftovers, Carlisle is rinsing and loading the dishwasher, Jasper is drying the pans and putting them away, and Edward is putting the leftovers into Tupperware meticulously and loading it into the fridge.

Emmett chuckles when he catches me watching them work and teases me.

"Like whatcha see, Bells?" he says with a wink.

My face blushes, and I tap the toe of my right shoe against my left heel as I look down at the ground.

"No, I mean, I was looking for the girls and couldn't find them. Are you sure you guys don't need any help?" I ask, trying to mask my embarrassment and change the subject simultaneously.

I feel a light hand softly scratch the back of my neck, and when I look up, Esme is standing there smiling at me.

"Nice try, dear, but the boys have it covered. Something tells me you run the ship at your house," she says with a warm amusement.

I bite the corner of my lip and smile back at her as I respond. "Yeah, Charlie's probably never washed a dish in his life. I'd hate to think of what we could catch if he were in charge of the cleaning. He'd probably forget to rinse, and we'd all get the poops." I clap my hand over my mouth as they all start laughing loudly.

"Well, dear, maybe I'll have to send the boys over to help you out around there. I'm sure you could use a break every now and again." Her hand has moved from the back of my neck to the top of my head as she runs her fingers through my hair absentmindedly.

Emmett takes this opportunity to voice his concerns. "Can you cook, Bella? I mean, besides super secret spaghetti sauces?" The smile in his voice is contagious, and I turn to face him wondering why he's asking.

"Yeah?" I respond. It's more of a question than an answer, as I wait to see what he's getting to.

"Well then, count me in. I'll come clean for you any day," he says.

"Ditto," Jasper adds enthusiastically.

Edward remains silent, and I'm not the only one who notices as everyone else turns to look at him.

"I go where they go," he finally answers with a smile directed more towards the food he's putting away than at anyone else in particular.

Unfortunately, my face flushes with his simple statement, and I pray it goes unnoticed by the others.

_The last thing I need is for some of Edward's family to think that I have a crush on him; it's bad enough that Alice and Rosalie are trying to push us together. _

I turn around quickly to look up at Esme and catch a knowing look pass across her face.

"Uhm, do you know where Alice and Rose went?" I squeak politely.

"Oh, yes, dear, they went down to the basement. Edward, honey, would you be so kind as to escort Bella downstairs?" Esme asks him. I can tell she's up to something.

_Alice and Rose probably got to her, those bitches. _

"Uh, I'm okay — if you could just give me directions, I'm sure I could find it…" I trail off as Edward closes the fridge and makes his way toward us.

"It's okay, I was heading down there anyway," he responds and waves his hand for me to go first as we exit the kitchen.

"Careful, you two, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Emmett calls.

Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper chuckle, and I make a mental note to junk-punch Emmett if he comes downstairs tonight.

Edward rolls his eyes at Emmett's antics and continues with me through the living room to the door just down the hall.

"You'll have to forgive Emmett and his crudeness. He seems to think anytime two people from the opposite sex get together, they're immediately fucking," Edward says crassly.

"Emmett's the crude one?" I return haughtily, referring to his previous choice in words.

But I won't lie, my panties became slightly damp when Edward was being all domestic in the kitchen — and hearing the word "fucking" leave his mouth opened the floodgates. Pretty sure my knees even knocked together. Hopefully I'm not that transparent.

"What's the matter, Bella? Don't you cuss?" he teases me.

"Fuck yes, I do, you can bet your sweet ass on that!" I say with humorous confidence. Then I stop dead in my tracks as I realize what I've just said.

_Oh shit, damn, fuck…_

"Oh, really? So I have a sweet ass, do I?" Edward is a few steps lower than I am on the stairs, and when he turns to look at me, our faces are level, but there are probably four and a half feet between us.

"Do you?" I croak.

"Do I?" His voice drops a few octaves, and I clench my thighs together, trying to seal off the floodwaters that are threatening to trickle out.

_Thank God I'm wearing a swimsuit. _

I try to give him a sexy smirk and bite my bottom lip softly.

_Think of something, Bella! You can't let him have this control over you._

"Could you maybe…turn around for me? I didn't really get a good look before," I drawl seductively.

The look of surprise that passes over his face is unmistakable. I've caught him off guard, and the feeling is absolutely exhilarating.

He slowly spins, and for the first time since dinner, I notice he's changed into an old, stained t-shirt and a pair of board shorts. The t-shirt is too baggy for me to get a decent glimpse of his ass, so I boldly go where I've never gone before.

"Up with the shirt," I say saucily, smirking when he hesitates a second before lifting his shirt up to his mid torso and doing another slow spin.

_Holy mother of pearl, his abs are scrumptious. I want to fucking eat him. _

I flick my gaze upwards, and our eyes lock. I try getting my breathing and pounding heartbeat under control, but it proves to be slightly difficult with the look he's giving me.

His gaze is smoldering, and I've never seen his eyes so intensely green.

I'm the first to blink. I let my cocky smirk return as my shoulders shrug indifferently.

"Eh, you're okay, I guess," I say offhandedly.

His eyebrows rise nearly to his hairline. "Just okay?"

I nod my head and take one more step down toward him, making me level with his shoulders, and leaving about three feet between us.

"I've seen better," I state matter-of-factly as I look up at him.

"Oh really?" His eyes narrow as he tries to tell if I'm telling the truth or not.

"Yup." I pop the "p" and make sure to give him my most confident stare.

"Well, what about you?" he asks, catching me off guard.

"What about me, what?" I ask, confused.

"Do you have a sweet ass?" he asks teasingly.

"Sure do." I grin at him cheekily.

"Prove it." His cocky tone is back, and I know a challenge when I see one.

"You have shorts on…" I trail off, mildly apprehensive about baring my body…outside of the water…in front of Edward…in this swimming suit.

"It's okay if you can't do it. Probably not wearing any panties again, huh, Bella?" His arrogant tone fuels my fire, and I know I can't back down from this.

All of my reservations and insecurities are pushed to the back burner as I kick my tennis shoes off quickly and begin to unbutton my pants.

"I'll do you one better, Pretty Boy," I say coyly.

This is the first time I've called him Pretty Boy to his face, and the feeling is so freeing, I almost forget what I'm about to do.

After he hears his nickname, a huge smile breaks out on his face, and then his face morphs into absolute shock when I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it up over my head, exposing my scantily clad torso to him.

His mouth is gaping, and his eyes turn dark as I shimmy out of my jeans and socks and innocently toss the shirt and jeans at him.

"Hold those for me?" I ask.

"Uh…" He nods and swallows thickly.

"Oh! I almost forgot," I say. I spin slowly, with my hands held out to the side, giving him the show he asked for.

"Good?" I ask as I smirk at him.

"Huh?" his gaze snaps up to my face after obviously roaming up and down the short length of my body.

My eyes narrow playfully as I smirk and start walking towards him.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say softly as I grab his hips, now standing directly in front of him, my face is right around his mid to lower torso; I could easily lean down just a bit and be face-to-face with his crotch. His hands are gripping my clothes so tightly, his knuckles are white, and he peers down at me under heavily lidded eyes.

"Excuse me," I whisper as I move him out of my way and downstairs.

"Bella! Is that you?" I hear Alice calling out to me as I reach the bottom of the stairs.

I don't bother glancing back at Edward as I walk with purpose, following the sound of Alice's voice, with a devilish smirk on my face the whole time.

_Gotcha, sucker. _

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own. SM does, I'm just hopping on her hop-scotch! <strong>

**Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me through this - I know I don't update regularily, I'm honestly working on it. But be adivsed that the fall season is going to be incredibly busy for me. **

**I'll still be updating LM, but I'll be starting a new story called "Hourglass" in November. It's a lot different from this - it's going to be extreamly heavy, and sad and just... yeah. lol So, I'm warning you ahead of time - it will be a disturbing, angst-ridden story, that wouldn't stop hopping around in my head. My apologies ahead of time. **

**Also - I'll be a contributing writer for a few contests and other things going on in the fandom. One of them is the Countdown to 2012! It's hosted by Breath-of-twilight. Link: http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7348457/1/**

**So, I just wanted everyone to know that it may be four or so weeks between posting. (Hopefully not, I'm actually preparing chapter 10 for the beta as we speak, and I'm half way done with chapter 11. So everything could be pretty smooth, I'm just warning you in case.) **

**And if you're still reading this massive fail of an A/N you will be pleased to note that there is a little more of a physical encounter between ExB next chapter. No lemons-yet, obviously, but their flirtation ramps it up a notch. (It's even hotter in Chapter 11) ;) lol :))**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Alas, a few story recs: <strong>_

**Kinkily Ever After - by, bornonhalloween (Sequel to Once Upon a Desire) D/S themed story. Rated M for Lemons**  
>Anything written by bornonhalloween is win. Epic f***ing win. This lady owns me. (Her other story - Comp Sem 101 is one of my all time favorite stories!) I think I've recced it before though, lol.<br>**Link: http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7312097/1/Kinkily_Ever_After**

**Where the Sidewalk Ends - by, Bronzehairedgirl620**  
>1940's era story. Edward is imprisoned in Alcatraz for Murder. Bella's father is in charge of reopening and investigating the case. Okay, I cannot describe how fantastically f***ing awesome this story is. It owns me right now, I litterally end up panting for more when I finish a chapter. The great thing is? She gives you the next posting date at the end of each chapter. So you don't play guessing games w updates, you know when they're coming. And - she also gives you teasers if you review. Ahhmaayyyziiing. Great story! Will constantly keep you guessing! Mwuah, love it. End of story!  
><strong>Link: http:www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6069010/1/bWhere_b_the_bSidewalk_b_bEnds_b**

**Aha Shake - by, TeamBella23  
><strong>I don't even know how to describe this story, other than by saying it is funny as shit, and will literally leave you running to the bathroom to pee, because it's so funny. You should check it out if you love smut, and laughing, and ... watching people being spontaneously injured after or during sex. It's AWESOME! lol And it's now complete!  
><strong>Link: http:www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6201301/1/bAha_b_bShake_b**


	10. Chapter 10: Fear & V Cards

**"Progress always involves risks.  
>You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first."<br>**

_**- Frederick B. Wilcox**_

* * *

><p><strong>Teach me baby, or better yet,<br>Freak me baby, yes, yes  
>I'm freaky baby,<br>I'm gonna make sure that your peach feels peachy baby  
>No bullshit broads,<br>I like my women sexy, classy, sassy  
>Powerful yes, they love to get a little nasty, ow<br>This ain't a game you'll see, you can put the blame on me**

_**Rain Over Me - by, Pitbull (feat. Marc Anthony)  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10:<br>_Fear & V-Cards_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV- <strong>_

I smile when I see Alice and Rose waiting for me in the large recreational room at the bottom of the stairs. They quirk their eyebrows while checking me out as I stroll up to them in my swimsuit.

I return their smirks as I explain, "Yeah, I already changed out of my clothes. I hope that's okay? I figured you guys wanted to hop in right away." I smile as I walk up to them, and I notice that they've also decided to change.

"Wow, Bella!" Alice exclaims.

"You look…smokin'!" Rosalie finishes.

"Thanks, ladies." I blush and follow them through the media room.

"I thought the pool was down here? Isn't that a weird place for a pool to be?"

"It is down here. Mom and Dad thought it would be a waste of money to put it on ground level with a glass enclosure, plus it'd be costly to heat. So, when they built the house, they had the contractor put it down here instead, along with our state of the art media/game room, another private theater room, a twelve person sauna, an in-ground spa, and my mom's laundry room. We're kinda spoiled." Alice blushes slightly as she notices how far my eyes have bugged out of my head.

"Shut up," I say in disbelief.

"No, I'm serious; come look," she says and leads me through the media/game area that in itself is absolutely out of this world. We cut through the laundry room, which leads to a small changing room, which ends up leading to an expansive pool area.

It rivals some of the nicer hotels I've stayed in. I am totally about to lose my shit. I knew the Cullens' had money, and I knew they had an indoor pool and a majestic mansion of a house, but holy shit!

"So, are you currently taking applications?" I ramble incoherently.

"Huh?" Alice asks.

"For rent? Like, can I move in? _Tonight?_" I joke as my eyes roam over the whole room, and I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the warmth and chlorinated smell that comes with being in an enclosed pool area.

Alice and Rose laugh as they pat me on my shoulders and make their way over to a few chaise lounges next to the pool area. They drop their towels and both stroll toward the pool.

"Oh, Bella, you'll be spending so much time over here, it'll feel like a second home. Trust me." Rose smiles at me as she adjusts the bottoms of her suit before stepping in the pool.

As I slowly dip my feet into the water and kick my legs back and forth, Alice does a cannonball, soaking Rose and me.

"Bitch!" Rosalie shrieks as she tries to save her smudged makeup and ties her hair up on top of her head in a messy bun.

I tilt my head back and laugh as Rosalie leaps on top of Alice and they start wrestling around in the water.

Eventually their splashing subsides, and they swim laps back and forth across the pool. I continue to just dip my feet in and swirl my legs around until we hear the boys approach.

"Whooo weee! What do we have here?" Emmett catcalls from the doorway as the other two enter just after him, flanking each side of him.

"Well, Em, you just missed a huge catfight!" I joke with him good-naturedly.

"Oh yeah?" Jasper drawls and surveys the scene in front of him; basically, Alice, Alice, and oh yeah, Alice.

_They're so cute it teases my gag reflex._

My eyes flick to Edward for a second, and I find him watching me.

_Now __I'd __totally __let _him _tease __me__…__and __my __gag __reflex._

I smirk to myself as the thought passes through, and I return my gaze back to the girls.

"Let's do a chicken fight! We've never been able to have all three of the guys go at one time; Edward finally has a partner!" Emmett announces.

My heart starts pounding as my gaze flicks back and forth between Alice and Rose. The smiles on their faces resemble the Cheshire cat, and I am beginning to think everyone might be in on this little game of "Set Bella and Edward up" besides Edward and me.

"Uh…" I start to decline when Emmett turns a concerned gaze on me.

"Unless you're too sore, Bells? Christ, I didn't even think about that," he mumbles worriedly.

"No, I uh." I try to erase his guilt and decide on just going for it. I've wanted to feel Edward's head between my thighs anyway, and since we both know it won't happen the way I want it to, I might as well live vicariously for a night.

"Fine, let's do this damn thing." I sigh.

I grab the hair tie off my wrist and hold it out to Alice. "Braid me?" I ask as I give her a sweet smile.

"Of course," she agrees happily and quickly slips out of the pool to tie my hair back into a French braid.

The boys each get into the pool on different ends. Edward climbs down the ladder I'm sitting by, Emmett cannonballs in the deep end, and Jasper uses the concrete steps to slowly step in.

After Alice finishes with my hair, Jasper wades over to the side of the pool and helps her climb onto his shoulders. I watch them move effortlessly, like they've been together for fifty years and don't have a single doubt or insecurity in their entire relationship.

I've admired Rose and Emmett the same way over the past couple of weeks, and while I feel a bit lonely at times, I am extremely happy that such great people have been able to find each other. I'm also truly grateful that I get to spend so much time with them, and that I'm able to call them my friends.

I'm snapped out of my reverie when Edward swims up to me and spreads my legs as he stands between them. The glow in his eyes makes my skin flush, and I bite my lip as I watch him cautiously.

When he doesn't turn around, I raise a questioning eyebrow at him and ask, "Aren't you supposed to turn around?"

"Am I?" He smirks.

"Unless you want Bella to ride your face, yeah, pretty sure you are," Emmett chimes in.

My face burns even hotter, and I'm rewarded with the biggest shit-eating grin from Edward as he moves even closer to me, not letting Emmett's interruption deter him at all; if anything it spurs him on more.

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad," he whispers huskily in my ear as he leans up under the guise of grabbing a towel to wipe his eyes, and he tugs on my braid softly while giving me a playful wink.

My eyes are as round as saucers, and I can't find my voice. Time feels as though it's stopped, and I totally forget about everyone else in the room.

"Get a room!" Emmett bellows loudly.

That's enough to snap me out of my hormone-induced haze, and I scowl playfully at Edward…and give him a firm loud slap on his forehead.

"Turn around, bitch, or I will ride your face, in front of God and everybody," I growl loudly at him.

"Oh, Bella, don't tease me if you can't please me," he faux moans as he rubs his forehead and turns around, leaning against the side of the pool, in between my legs.

"Oh trust me, babe, I could please you, please you right into a coma. Don't forget, I'm irresistible! It's 'cause I'm a nugget!" I smile as I respond and scoot from the edge of the pool onto Edward's broad shoulders.

I half expect him to sag with the added weight, but he doesn't; it's like I'm light as a feather to him. He dips around in the pool, dropping down so I'm waist deep in the water and he's fully submerged, most likely testing my balance.

"I'm not gonna fall over," I say as he comes back up for air.

Finally, the girls are all on top of the guys, and we all meet up in a circle to discuss the rules. We decide to have Edward and me go up against whoever wins the first round, and then see if we want to play more after that.

I am quickly informed of the rules before we start, which are:

- No biting

- No hair pulling (unless it's to hold onto your guy)

- No scratching

I quickly ask if I can make one, they agree and giggle as I announce mine.

"No ass-play," I say seriously.

"What?" I hear a couple of them mumble at the same time.

"Edward, here, is an ass-man, and I'm gonna be pissed if I'm doing all this work, for us to win, and I feel a digit creep up by my pooper. So, as I repeat, no ass-play," I re-enunciate.

Edward busts out laughing, and the others stare at us dumbfounded.

"Ah, fuck it, let's play!" Edward calls loudly.

Alice and Jaz, and Rose and Em line up in front of each other to start. Edward splashes the water hard, signaling them to start, and both couples tear into each other.

It's a close match, but Alice and Jasper end up winning. Apparently, _no __tickling_ isn't on the rule list and Alice knows Rose's sweet spot. She crumples into the water like a ton of bricks.

_Interesting. _

I feel Edward brace my knees, and his hands reach up to hold me at my thighs, not putting too much pressure on my injured leg as he holds me to his body.

"This okay?" he asks worriedly.

"It's fine. I'm actually kinda comfy up here." I wiggle around jokingly and jump slightly when he responds with a pinch to my thigh.

"Hold still, that's distracting," he chastises me.

"Yes, sir!" I respond as we start moving toward the center of the pool.

I quickly devise my plan of attack against Alice and Jasper as the boys line us up. I am still trying to think of a way to beat Alice when Emmett yells, "Go!" without any warning.

Edward and Jasper circle one another as Alice and I take playful jabs at each another, trying to knock the other down.

It's all good fun until Alice flicks me in the nose. I hate being flicked, like with a passion. I try to warn her, but she doesn't listen and sends her finger snapping sharply against my forehead with a resounding "thwack."

Soon my irritation ignites my adrenaline, and I quickly latch on to the string of her bikini with one hand and give her the hardest titty twister she's probably ever had in her life with the other.

She squeals loudly as both of her hands scramble to cover her chest, and she drops backwards off Jasper's shoulders.

"Victory!" Edward shouts, and I can't help but laugh loudly at his childlike glee.

When the laughter—and Alice's painful whimpering—dies down, everyone decides they've had enough of the chicken fighting.

When I politely ask Edward to return me to the side of the pool, he decides to drop down on his knees in the water and slide his head out from under my legs. I start to panic a bit, knowing my swimming ability is less than par, and praying to God someone in the pool remembers me telling Emmett that at lunch before.

Edward, of course, does exactly what I least expect him to do and spins me around, holding onto me and keeping my head above the water at all times. I have no choice but to rest my hands on his biceps and look up at him. The smirk playing on his lips is cocky and I resist the urge to smack him around.

"Careful," I warn him.

"Pretty sure you're the one who needs to be careful. I could dunk you, with no problem, and you can't touch here," he taunts, referring to the depth of the water.

Scowling at him, I move closer, sliding my hands up to his shoulders and wrapping one leg around his side, resting it against his hip bone.

"Pretty sure I'd have a clear shot of your nuts if you tried, and I'm pretty quick," I whisper in his ear, letting my lips brush against his earlobe.

I hear his breathing pick up, and I feel his grip on my hips tighten as my body brushes against his.

"Bella," he growls in a cautious, soft tone.

"Just kidding!" I say in a chipper voice and wink at him.

I've chickened out of my role as a seductress and want nothing more than to put a little space between us, so I can regain some of my sanity.

I'm startled when a strong set of hands pulls me out of Edward's grip and lifts me up out of the water, only to dunk me back in again.

"Bella-boo, where did you learn how to chicken fight like that? You're gonna have to give Rosie here a few tips," Emmett booms as he sets me gently on the steps.

I turn to face him, laughing and flicking water at him.

"Eh, when you can't really count on the length of your limbs you've gotta learn to improvise; no guts, no glory." I wink at him and quickly turn to climb the steps of the pool, stepping out of it and moving briskly toward the spa.

"Ahhh," I sigh contentedly when the warm water envelops me as I step into the bubbling liquid and find a comfortable place to sit.

"Like this more than the pool?" Rose asks as she steps in and takes in a sharp breath at the temperature contrast.

I nod my head at her, smiling as I ghost my fingertips over the foamy surface.

"Me too." She smiles genuinely and the rest of the crew slowly trickle in and get comfortable. Each couple sits together, leaving a space next to me for Edward.

_Nice…that wasn't on purpose or anything. _

Edward leans his back against the side and rests his arms up over the edge on each side of him.

"Maybe Bella could do her PT in here, Emmett?" Rose suggests.

I raise my eyes to his face hopefully, to see him considering it.

"It's the same type of resistance, and it might work better with her height. I don't see any problem with it as long as she's not overdoing it—or getting too tired," he agrees.

"But if you start getting too hot, or tired, or faint, or anything, you need to get out immediately and cool off in the pool, got it?" he says sternly.

"Yes, Daddy," I mock and laugh as he lightly splashes me.

. . . . . . . .

"So, what movie are we watching tonight?" Jasper inquires.

We're all sitting at the dining room table now; everyone's finished rinsing off and has put their PJs on. We've been sitting around the table debating on what to do for the rest of the night.

"_Talladega __Nights_!" Emmett booms.

"Fuck no; I've seen that damn movie too many fucking times!" Rose barks at him.

I laugh at them and turn my focus back to the topic at hand.

"_You __Again_?" Alice asks.

"No, too chick-y," Jasper refutes.

"How about something with Mark Wahlberg?" Rose suggests with a saucy gleam in her eye.

I lean over to Jasper, who happens to be sitting next to me, and ask, "Does your sister have a thing for Mark Wahlberg?"

He nods his head and snickers as Emmett lets out a disapproving groan.

"Marky Mark? Babe, are you kidding me?" Emmett wails, scrubbing his hands over his face.

"He is sorta hot," Alice agrees, much to Jasper's chagrin.

Now it's my turn to snicker at the turn of events.

"_The __Other __Guys_, has anyone seen it?" Edward suggests.

"That movie is kinda lame," I mumble.

"I agree," Emmett says.

"_The __Lovely __Bones!"_ Alice chirps.

"Too trippy," Rose rejects.

"_Fear_?" I ask hesitantly.

"He's in that?" Emmett ponders.

"Yeah, he's the crazy psycho boyfriend," I respond.

"Is that the one where the girl gets finger banged on the Ferris wheel?" Emmett asks crudely.

"Yeah, Reese Witherspoon." I nod.

"I'm game," Edward announces quickly.

My gaze snaps up to his.

"Perv," I joke.

"No, well, yeah that's probably it too, but you see, Bella, Edward here, has a thing for Reese. I've even gotten him to sit through _Legally __Blonde_ one _and_ two with me!" Alice states proudly.

"Those movies sucked by the way," Edward retorts lamely.

"I personally love _Man __in __the __Moon_," I state, referring to one of Reese's first movies.

"Good movie," Edward agrees.

"Jason London is a babe," I say dreamily.

"Can we just go watch the fucking movie already?" Rose asks, sick of listening to all of us _orgasm __over __our __favorite __actor/actresses, _as she so eloquently put it.

"Remember, bitch, we're watching _your_ favorite actor tonight, so keep your filthy mouth shut!" I snark at her and jump off my chair as I see her get up to come after me.

My short strides are no match for her fast walk as she scoops me up and throws me over her shoulder. Thankfully, my ribs are fully healed, otherwise that would hurt like a bitch.

"Rose," I wheeze, "please, put me down!"

She ignores me and continues walking down the steps to the media room with me thrown over her shoulder like a sack of beans.

With one last slap to my ass, she drops me down on the center of their overstuffed sectional couch and saunters back upstairs to "round up the snacks."

I climb over to the end of the couch, so I can rest against an armrest, and I tuck my feet underneath myself to warm them, regretting the shorts and tank top I packed for PJs.

Edward appears out of nowhere with a fleece blanket in tow and plops down beside of me.

"Wanna share?" he asks as he unfolds it and spreads it over him.

"Uh, yes," I answer quickly and chuckle.

He throws me an end and makes sure I'm comfortable before he stretches out to get comfortable.

"Why aren't we watching this in the theater room?" I ask him as we wait for the others to get back down here.

"Because it's too hard to make out in there, not as much cuddle room," he replies as he looks from my eyes down to my lips and back again.

My mouth is dry and I try to swallow forcefully. Unfortunately, it comes out more as a gulp.

"Makes sense," I answer numbly. Lost and dazed.

"Who wants a hot dog?" Emmett calls down from the stairway.

The confusion on Edward's face causes me to crack up.

"Not me! I don't want wiener breath!" I call back to him.

"Me either!" Edward chortles.

The others file down and pass out sodas and various bowls of popcorn and chips.

Edward and I share a bowl of cheesy popcorn and tuck in for the movie.

About halfway through, Alice and Jasper are snoring and sleeping on each other.

Emmett's eyes are heavily lidded, but I can tell he's waiting for the Ferris wheel scene. Rose is hanging on every word—trying to justify everything _David _does for _Nicole._

Eventually, I stretch my legs out from under me, and they rest against Edward's hip. He's drifting in and out of consciousness as sleep tries to take him, and he's almost fallen over onto me three or four times. Each time, jerking awake and apologizing profusely after straightening himself.

When the dreaded Ferris wheel scene does happen, I feel my heart pound a little harder and my skin is ablaze. I don't know if it's the mixture of the song and the provocative nature of the scene, but my thighs gently rub together and I bite my lip softly, wondering what it might feel like to be touched like that.

My mind quickly replaced Nicole with a taller version of me, and David with Edward, and I had to stifle a moan. I knew it was dangerous imagining things like this—especially because I knew they'd never happen, but I couldn't stop myself.

The more time I spent with Edward, the more I wanted him. That was dangerous.

Dangerous for me because I don't want my heart broken.

Dangerous for him because, well, let's face it, we all know about Charlie's extensive gun collection. No one wants to look down the barrel of his .45.

Thinking about him gives me the urge to look at him, so I flick my gaze quickly in his direction only to find him staring at me.

"Hi," I mouth to him and smile at his sheepish smile.

"Hi," he whispers back.

"Hand check!" Emmett's voice booms, startling everyone, even waking Alice and Jasper.

My hands immediately fly up, as do Edward's and Emmett lets out a throaty chuckle.

"Gotcha!" he cackles as we all stare at him, baffled.

"What the hell was that?" Edward asks, irritated.

"Only the guilty ones raise their hands!" Emmett states as he looks at us knowingly.

"No, only the ones who _aren't_ falling asleep or wetting themselves over the fictional characters do," I retort.

"Trufax," Alice mumbles incoherently as she drifts off again.

"Jasper? Why don't you take her up to bed?" I ask him quietly.

"Okay, I think I'll turn in too. Who am I bunking with tonight? Emmett or Edward?" Jasper asks.

"Nah, stay with Alice. I don't want you guys messing up your routine for me. I'll sleep down here," I reply as I stretch my arms out and yawn.

"It's not a big deal, Bella, we sneak back in the morning anyway. You can stay up there with the girls…" he starts saying but I interrupt him.

"Nonsense, go snuggle. I'll be fine down here by myself." I shoo him away and laugh as he reluctantly agrees and carries Alice up the stairs.

"You aren't sleeping alone," Rose says sternly. "I'll stay down here with you, Bella."

"Rose, I'm a big girl, I can sleep alone."

Emmett and Edward snort at that.

"Fuck you both," I growl at them.

"Bella, you're not sleeping alone…" Rose starts in again.

"I'll sleep with her," Edward interrupts her.

All of our gazes turn to Edward questioningly.

"I mean—I'll stay down here—keep her company," Edward corrects himself quickly.

"You're sure?" Rose's smile says it all, and I can tell Emmett is biting back a grin as they get up and make their way to the stairs.

_God damn it, Edward. Why do you have to be so chivalrous? _

"Yes," Edward answers again, exasperatedly.

"I'm fine, really," I insist.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. It's not a big deal," Edward says as he gets up and follows them upstairs.

He's actually gone for quite a while, and I start readjusting myself, laying back and kicking the overheated fleece from my body when he returns with a stack of pillows, a sleeping bag, and a sheet.

He rolls the sleeping bag out on the floor right below my spot on the couch and then asks me if I want to lay the sheet under me so I don't get too hot.

I graciously accept and swat his hands away when he tries making my bed for me.

_I'm not completely helpless. I can manage to toss a sheet over a couch for goodness sakes. _

We get settled in our spots—with me on the couch and Edward sleeping below me on the floor—claiming the couch is too hot to sleep on all night.

We agree to turn the movie off, and he flips through channels, endlessly clicking one off, just as I'd get into it.

He finally settles on the Cinemax channel.

What happens on Cinemax after 1:00AM?

_Porn. _

_They don't call it Skin-A-Max for nothing, that's for damn sure!_

I lean over the edge of the couch and quirk an eyebrow at him.

"_Really_? Is that _all_ you think about?" I ask jokingly.

"You don't?" he retorts.

"Edward, I'm a red-blooded human just like everyone else. Of course I think about it, but that's not _all_ I think about." I roll my eyes at him.

"But now you are, aren't you?" he says cockily.

"Nope, actually, I'm not." _Lie._

I quickly roll over so I'm facing the back of the couch, giving myself some much needed space from a conversation that would only lead us into dangerous territory.

A few minutes later, just as I'm about to drift off, I hear his voice. "Have you ever…?"

"Ever _what_, Edward?" I mumble tiredly.

"Had sex?" he asks, slightly quieter.

"Why do you ask?" I roll back a little, half on my side and half on my back, staring at the ceiling as I wait for his answer.

"I can normally tell, you know, if a girl is a virgin or not, but I can't get a good read on you. You're confident enough to _have_ done it, yet you light up like a Christmas tree whenever an innuendo involves you. And the way your eyes turned dark and your face glowed during the movie, you were turned on, you looked like you were actually playing the part…not that girl. Like you wanted it, maybe more than she did…" His voice deepens and trails off.

I swallow audibly, considering my next words.

"It really isn't any of _your_ business whether or not I hold a V-card, Edward. And I don't understand why _you_ want to know. Listen, I'm tired, let's just go to sleep. Maybe your cherry radar will be fixed in the morning and all the mysteries of your universe will finally be solved, Casanova." It comes out a bit harsh at the end, but I'm truly not in the mood to be fucked with.

"Goodnight, Bella," he half-whispers with a smile in his voice.

I ignore him.

Edward winds me up more than anyone ever has, and right now, I'm wound tight.

What I wouldn't give to tell him that I am, in fact, a virgin, and let him try to change that fact.

But it isn't going to happen.

Edward doesn't do long-term, and I don't sleep with my best friends' brothers.

That's it.

End of story.

No way around it.

_I hope…_

_Lord help me…give me the strength to resist Edward Cullen, and if you can't do that—give me the brains to protect my heart. Amen. _

That's my last thought as I drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoa, is it hot in here, or is it just me? lol These two have some serious sexual tension. Poor Bella could use a little fun. She needs to lighten up a bit. **

**A big fat sloppy kiss in thanks to all of you who are still reading this thing. Hopefully it gets better as it goes. :) **

**Thank you to PTB for betaing this bizzztch. And thank you to MzBionic for keeping me sane! ;) Love youuuu, Soulmate...RAWR!**

**I'm joining a few contests, such as the Countdown to 2012, which I mentioned last chapter. And I'm also writing a piece for FAGE. I _might_ also be entering a O/S in the new angst contest coming up, I believe it's Season of Our Discontent. I can't resist a good angst contest, I suck at writing it, but I can't resist it. lol**

**Updates will be a little scarce due to all of the activity in November - but I shall do my best to be speedy.**

**Love you guys, love can be shared in forms of "reviews." ;)**

**xxoo,**

**Missy**

**P.S. If you're a visual person like I am, feel free to check out my author's profile for pictures and banners pertaining to LM and a few of my other fics. **

* * *

><p><strong>Fic recs:<strong>

**Decoy,_ by 107yearoldvirgin_ http :/ www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s /7385364/1/ Decoy  
><strong>One of my favorite ExB highschool stories. Seriously, this fic will grab you by the _teets_, and won't let you go until you're crying, goosebumping, panting, and squeeing. It'll own you hard, like the author herself - it's fucking awesome. :) Plus, it's named after a song by Paramore, how could it go wrong? ;) Run. Don't walk. AH - Completed.

**River, _by CaraNo _http :/ www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s /7436814/1/ River**  
>I honestly don't even know how to describe this story without giving anything away, or not doing it justice. It's a drabble fic (and approx 87 chapters in), she updates like, five or more times a day, and it ROCKS! I absolutely am in love with this story. All of my reviews to her are me begging for more! lol She owns me, hard. AH.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11: Untouched

**Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing, that includes Twilight, Despicable Me, and Ibuprofen. ;) How I'd love to have invented any of the previously mentioned things...I'd be a rich bitch. **

**A/N: To my amazing beta duet - the Tiffany's. I'll never be able to tell you girls how much I appreciate the work you're putting into this with me. I feel blessed to have you - and your red pens. Thanks for fixing this shit up. ;) **

**Enjoy lovies. **

* * *

><p><strong>"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire."<strong>  
><em><strong>—<strong>__**Aristotle**_

* * *

><p><strong>I feel so untouched<br>And I want you so much  
>That I just can't resist you<br>It's not enough to say that I miss you  
>I feel so untouched right now<br>Need you so much somehow  
>I can't forget you<br>Been going crazy from the moment I met you**

**Untouched  
>And I need you so much<strong>

_**Untouched - by, The Veronicas **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11:<br>**_**Untouched**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

I wake up with my arm propped up on the back cushion of a couch I don't recognize and panic when I realize I'm not in my bed — or living room, for that matter. I quickly roll over and end up falling face first off the couch.

However, what — or should I say _whom_ — I land on surprises me even more than my previous panic attack.

_Edward _

When I look down at his face, his eyes are cracked open, and he has a sleepy smirk on his face.

"Well, Shorty, if you wanted it that bad, you could have asked me first," he murmurs huskily.

My eyes open wide and I quickly sit up, trying to stand up so I can get off him.

Except, when I sit up, I'm sitting right on his morning wood, and the feeling startles us both.

Our eyes lock, and I gasp.

His eyes darken as his hands latch onto my waist, holding me still. My mouth drops open. I'm practically panting as I feel him pressed against some of my most sensitive areas.

_Mayday… Mayday…_ _Abort mission,_ _Isabella Marie!_

You know it's a bad situation when your conscience yells at you…and uses your first _and_ middle name.

Unfortunately, my vagina is screaming a totally different mantra, and none of it involves dismounting Edward.

The muscles in my thighs are straining as I hold myself up, and I pray that they don't give out, because if they do I'm going to land with all of my weight against Edward's cock. That is something I'm definitely not ready for. It's bad enough that his hands are holding me in place, not letting me escape from this frustratingly pleasurable position.

"Edward?" I breathe. I'm at a total loss as to what I should do. One part of me wants to maul him; the other wants me to run back home, barefoot, in my pajamas.

He slowly pushes me downward, forcing some of my weight to drop down on him.

Involuntarily, my eyes flutter shut, and my hands grip his forearms as he slowly grinds himself against me. He grunts huskily, and a soft sigh leaves my lips; I bite my lip to try to stifle it.

"Edward," I breathe, "we have to stop. We can't…_do__this__._" Opening my eyes quickly, I try to snap myself out of my hormone haze, and I push his hands off my hips.

Without his hands for a brace, my legs officially give out from the uncomfortable position and I land on his junk with a soft thump. His length is pressed against my clit, and I can't help but cry out softly.

He quickly sits up so we're chest to chest, making him only slightly taller than me, so I try to brace my hands on his shoulders. I try to regain my balance enough to stand up in the awkward position, while trying to put some distance between us.

His arms come around me as he brings us closer together. I lean back, not helping our current situation at all.

"Bella," he rasps out, shifting his hips against me. "I want you so fucking bad right now."

His words send shivers up and down my spine, and if this were any other situation, I'd probably go through with it.

But I am not losing my virginity on the floor "in the Cullens' media room" to the town player. I refuse to be another notch in his belt.

"I never thought I would," he continues, "but _God_ I do. I want to lay you down and fuck your tight little pussy right here." He shifts against me harder, and I dig my nails into his shoulder, fighting for my control.

"S-stop, Edward, stop." Finally, he hears me and quits thrusting against me. There's a light sheen of sweat on his brow. His hair is wild from sleep, and his cheeks are flushed from his arousal.

He's absolutely breathtaking.

_Why am I stopping this again? _

_Oh yeah, because I'm __not__ a whore._

"I'm sorry, I-I want this, too, or at least, I think I do…but I can't." I shake my head as I stand up and back away from him.

"Can't or _won't_?" he asks, sounding slightly wounded.

"Both…" I shrug.

"Edward, I can't be another notch on your belt, and you don't know me enough to actually _want_ to sleep with me. Alice and I are friends, and I…I'm not willing to risk our friendship for a fling in your _basement_. I'm sorry…" I trail off, looking down at the chipped ice blue toenail polish on my feet from my last _makeover_ with Renee.

"Who says that's all it'd be?" he asks defensively. "Is there some 'Edward Cullen manual' out there I don't know about that says 'I'll always only sleep with a girl once and toss her to the side?' We could have sex and still be friends, Bella; people do it all of the time."

"Your reputation is enough of a manual, Edward. And I'm not _that_ girl…" I answer honestly.

Without looking back at him, I head upstairs to find Alice.

**. . . . . . . **

Emmett and Jasper inform me that she's still in bed when I bump into them in the kitchen. They tell me to fix myself a bowl of cereal and settle in for a while as I wait for the girls to wake up.

I settle for some toast and orange juice. The conversation with Edward has left my stomach in knots.

"When do you want to start your therapy, Bella?" Emmett asks as I spread margarine on my toast and take a bite.

Normally, I'd try to put therapy off as long as I could, but right now it seems like the best way to get my mind off of Edward and his mind-fuck.

"Whenever you're ready, Emburgler," I respond, earning a few chuckles from him and Jasper.

"After breakfast too soon?" he asks hesitantly.

"Nope, that's fine, I'll probably slip in and let Alice know, though."

"Perfect. That gives me enough time to wake up Rosie. Was Edward up yet when you came upstairs?"

_Uh, was he up or was he __up__? Ack, Bella, get your mind out of the gutter and off of Edward's wiener._

My face flushes as I tear into my toast with vigor, and I try to think of a non-guilty-sounding response.

"I was actually just getting _up_ before Bella came upstairs," Edward responds from the kitchen doorway behind me.

I don't bother turning my head to look at him. I just take another large bite of toast and wash it down with a gulp of juice, inhaling it in my haste to get the fuck out of there.

"Well, I'm off. See ya in a bit, boys," I call as I hop off the chair, set the glass in the dishwasher, and throw away my napkin.

I leave the kitchen without acknowledging Edward and quickly head upstairs to Alice's room.

I find her asleep, half off the bed with the covers almost fully kicked to the floor, and there's a huge drool spot on her pillow.

_Classy. _

_I wonder if Jasper has to wear floaters to sleep next to her?_

"Hey, wet n' wild, get your ass outta bed." I hop up beside her and bounce up and down on the bed a few times.

"Mmmph" is the only response I get out of her, so I decide to stand up and jump on the bed.

_Bounce. _

"Alice!"

_Bounce__._

"Wake the—"

_Bounce._

"—fuck up!"

_Bounce__. _

She's either been faking it for half the time or has cat-like reflexes. The next thing I know, she jerks her leg up, kneeing me in the crotch. I fall off the bed with a loud thump.

"Oh my God, Alice! What the fuck?" I shriek as I hold my abused crotch in my hands.

Her loud peals of laughter attract everyone's attention, or maybe it was the loud crash from when I fell.

Suddenly, Rose, Emmett, Edward, and Jasper are standing just inside of Alice's bedroom, looking between Alice and me with mixed expressions. All varying from amused to terrified.

"Bella! Oh my God! Are you okay? You didn't hurt anything did you?" Emmett, surprisingly, is the terrified one; of course he thinks I'll be reinjuring myself on his watch.

"My crotch!" I wail in a fit of laughter and pain.

Alice is practically howling with laughter as she giggles on her bed at my sprawled frame lying haphazardly across her floor, cupping my sex like I'm about to be pap-smeared by Danny DeVito.

Ohhh hell no, he's not coming near my love box!

"You shouldn't have been jumping on me!" Alice wheezes between guffaws.

"Fuck you, wet n' wild, you're dead to me!" I yowl back at her.

"What did you do to her, Alice?" Rose asks amidst the confusion and laughter.

"She fucking kneed me in the crotch! I haven't even peed yet this morning!"

They all burst out laughing at this, and I flip each and every one of them off.

"You're all dead to me," I mumble as I slowly get up and gimp to Alice's bathroom with my bag of clothes.

"I'm gonna wipe my snapper with your toothbrush, bitch," I yell out through the door.

"Oooh, Bella, I love it when you talk dirty to me," Edward yells playfully through the door.

"Fuck you, Edward," I retort.

"I would, but you're out of commission."

"Hah, _thank you_, Alice, for kicking me in the crotch! Now I don't have to get infested with Edward's harem coochie cooties!" I yell dramatically.

Suddenly, he's pounding his fists against the door.

"Screw you, Bella." Edward sounds slightly miffed.

"No thanks. I thought I already told you earlier, I'm _not_ interested." I'm pretty sure everyone else is hearing this conversation, and I pray to God that Esme and Carlisle are not in the house right now.

I finish changing into a different swimsuit from yesterday, and I step out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me.

"Edward, did you try to sleep with _my_ Bella?" Alice admonishes as I step out of the bathroom.

"Hey! She came onto me," he replies defensively with a cocky smirk.

"Idiot! I _fell_ onto you. What, you don't recognize a _non_-willing participant when you see one?" I bite back at him.

"You may not have intended it at first, but you definitely weren't complaining if I remember correctly." His cocky smirk pisses me off.

"It's hard to get a word in edgewise when you're constantly stroking your _ego_." This time I can tell I'm pissing him off.

Alice is grinning cheekily at our banter, and I direct my bitch-face at her.

"And you, matchmaking bitch, back off, and fuck you. My crotch will be sending you the bill if I have to get her fixed."

"I could take a look at it if you like…" Edward cuts in on my ass-chewing, and I don't even bother looking at him. I flip him off instead.

"Promise?" he asks cockily.

"_Fuck_…_me_…can a bitch catch a break around here? When the fuck can we start therapy already, and is _mental_ part of the package?" I snap my eyes to Emmett, who is too caught up in our banter to realize I'm talking to him.

Rosalie slaps him in the back of the head and he jolts upwards, finally realizing what I've asked and that I was talking to him.

"Light bulb," I say, imitating the good villain guy on _Despicable Me_.

Alice and Rose laugh loudly, probably the only two here who actually caught the reference.

Alice jumps up and grabs her suit as she hauls ass to the bathroom to get changed.

"Give me ten," she says as she slams the door in our faces.

"Why do you call her wet n' wild?" Jasper asks after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Have you _seen_ her pillow in the morning?" I ask exasperatedly.

Emmett booms out a laugh as the others join in, all catching on to my line of thinking.

_Light bulb(s)._

"Enough said…" Jasper responds and we all laugh.

Rose goes back to Emmett's room to change into her swimsuit, and the boys all go off to change as well.

By the time Alice is changed and freshened up, Rose is making her way back to the bedroom. She shuts the door behind her and perches herself beside me on Alice's bed.

"Spill," Alice and Rose say at the same time.

_These two are some nosey, quirky bitches. _

"When I woke up this morning, I fell off of the couch and on top of Edward. Who happened to be lying on the floor right below my side of the couch — not my fault!" I explain.

"Then what happened?" Alice prods for more.

"He, well, rubbed against me, and it sorta shocked us both. I mean — he had just woken up, so he was _hard_…and well, I wasn't prepared for that. He said he wanted me, and I told him I wasn't fucking him. He's your brother." I look at Alice and then back to Rose. "And I'm not about to be another notch on his belt. I'm sorry girls, but I'm not gonna be a booty call for Edward."

"What if he wanted _more_?" Alice asks.

"Get real, Alice, you know your brother, right?" Rosalie asks her before I get a chance to.

"Yeah, of course I do, but people can change, can't they?" Alice persists.

"Yeah, they can, but this is _Edward_, and I'm not willing to risk myself or _our_ friendship on that," I say with finality, gesturing between Alice and myself.

Alice slumps onto her bed, giving me sad eyes.

"But he's never told a girl he's _wanted_ her before…" she whines petulantly.

"I'm sure he has, it was a heat of the moment thing, let it go…" I reply as I shimmy off the bed and walk to the door.

"Coming?" I ask them as I turn to look at them.

They both get up and follow me silently down the hall and back down to the kitchen.

Alice's arm grips me as we're about to walk through the kitchen door, so I turn to look up at her.

"You don't even like him a _little_?" she persists.

"I don't even know him, Alice."

_Lie._

_I like him more than she can know. _

I quickly avert my eyes, and I see him walking down the hall toward us. I spin around and quickly step through the swinging door that leads to the kitchen.

I climb up on a stool at the breakfast bar and watch Rose cook breakfast. I try to will my mind away from everything involving Edward.

"Bella, what's your poison?" Rose asks as she points the spatula down to the variety of breakfast foods splayed out before her.

"I had some toast and juice, I'm good," I respond.

"You _will_ eat something more substantial. You'll be exercising and stretching most of the morning. You'll need the energy," she insists.

I sigh and look over the contents on the counter and inside the open fridge.

"Well, what is everyone else having?" I ask, unable to decide.

"I'm gonna have an egg-white omelet with cheese, sausage, and peppers, a few pieces of turkey bacon, a slice of French toast, and some fruit salad." She smiles triumphantly.

_Damn, all of that food sounds good. How the hell does she eat it and not have a tank-ass? Ah, decisions…decisions…_

_Fuck it._

"I'll have the same, please." I smile back at her.

"Atta girl!" She waves the spatula in the air happily before taking everyone else's food orders.

_Good thing the girl likes to cook. _

We all finish eating our massive breakfasts and work together at cleaning the kitchen up before we head downstairs to start.

I'm moaning and groaning about how I can barely move because I'm so full, even though I only managed to polish off half of my breakfast as I waddle down the stairs to the basement.

Emmett finished my food for me, plus four fried eggs, three pieces of toast, a huge pile of bacon, two slices of French toast, and the cereal he had previously eaten. He looks happy as a loon, bouncing his way downstairs.

_Dude is fucking crazy! _

"Guys, seriously, I'm gonna puke," I grumble as we reach the bottom of the steps.

"Bella, you're gonna wanna work all of that food off. Trust me, don't let it sit. You'll be miserable later, and it'll make your ass huge," Alice rambles as we walk to the poolroom.

"Fuck my ass, Alice, I'm already miserable."

"Dibs!" Edward calls as he saunters past us.

"Dude, I wouldn't let _you_ put it in my pooper if we were the last two nymphos on earth and there were no sheep!" I retort.

_That was random…and kinda disturbing…_

_Sheep, Bella? Really? _

"That's kinda dirty…I like it!" Jasper pipes up from behind us.

My bewildered expression makes everyone laugh as we quickly shed our towels and get ready to swim.

"You'll mainly want to do stretches and leg exercises in the water. Eventually, we'll build up to using water weights, but that's probably a few weeks out yet. I want you to be totally comfortable in the water first," Emmett instructs.

I nod and quickly make my way to the steps, stepping in and sinking below the tepid surface until everything except my neck and face are submerged.

It feels nice to just float and feel the weightlessness the water brings. I grab hold of two milk jugs Alice saved for me to use as floaties and make my way to the center of the pool — kicking my legs and grasping the jugs to keep me from sinking in the too deep water.

"Nice jugs, Bella," Rose jokes.

"I know, right?" I say mockingly. I'm always calling her Blondie, so when I really get going, I use my fakest, most prissy voice I can muster. Pisses her the fuck off.

"Bitch," she laughs and flicks water at me as she floats past.

Emmett lets me get by with doing laps back and forth across the pool lazily for a while. Rosalie keeps him sufficiently distracted.

I ignore Edward each time he passes me, swimming just beside me or even under me — freaking me the hell out, thinking he's going to somehow knock me under, and I'll go plunging to my death.

Every time he does, I yell at him when he breaks the surface, but he just smirks at me and acts like I haven't said anything — repeating the process all over again.

_Asshole._

After one more lap, I make my way to the steps and slowly walk up them, exiting the pool.

My legs are burning slightly from the use, and they're stiff when they go from the weightless feeling of the pool to feeling extremely weighed down outside of it.

I try stretching them a bit, but the stiffness accompanied by a little pain is still there. Emmett, ever the worry wart that he's proven to be, notices and immediately approaches me with a worried look on his face.

"You okay, Bells? You look like you're hurting." His aqua eyes pierce mine worriedly.

"Yeah, just a little stiff. It happens sometimes…when I swim. My body likes being in the water, I guess. It's probably an old case of tendonitis or something flaring up. I'll take an ibuprofen when we go upstairs." Hopefully this appeases him, because I'm really not too worried about it, so he shouldn't be either.

Unfortunately for me, the Cullens and Hales travel in a pack. When one is concerned about something, they all are. Alice quickly makes her way over to us with Rosalie fast on her heels. Jasper and Edward trickle in behind them.

"Hey, can one of you guys run up and grab the bottle of ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet?" Emmett asks distractedly as he kneels down to inspect my leg. "I don't want Bella to wait to take an anti-inflammatory. Her leg is a little stiff, and I don't want her to be miserable later on."

"Emmett, really, I'm totally fine. It just happens sometimes. I'll soak it in the hot tub and be as good as new. I promise," I assure him.

Alice has already bolted upstairs in search of the medicine, and before I can turn to stop her, I'm being picked up and carried to the hot tub.

When I look up, it's Edward that is carrying me.

My eyebrow quirks on its own. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a permanent reaction I have around him.

"Is that really necessary?" I ask, exasperated.

"You shouldn't be on it if it's bothering you. Soak it and see how you feel afterwards. We'll have Dad check it out when my parents get home. Until then, you're staying off of it. Got it?" he says with authority.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Caveman, sir." I salute him jokingly until he finally sets me down in the water.

He rolls his eyes and plops down on the seat across from me.

"You're infuriating sometimes. You know that, right?" he asks.

"And you think you're not? You're not exactly _the_ most pleasant person I've ever come into contact with either, Edward," I huff.

"I could be…" he trails off quietly.

I glance at his face, and he's looking at the bubbles floating listlessly on the surface of the warm water.

"Edward…" His gaze finally floats up to my face.

"We've went over this already…nothing is going to happen between us, you know this, I know this. Why can't you just accept it?" I give him a pleading look.

"Are you seriously not the least bit drawn to me?" he asks dreadfully.

My mind is at war with my heart on how to answer him honestly — and still protect myself.

"I am — Edward, I'm very attracted to you. But I won't be this…this idea of whatever you've gone and cooked up between you and me. I am not a booty-call, Edward. I never have been and never will be. The sooner you realize that, the better," I speak firmly.

In a flash, he's in front of me, kneeling down in the water so we're at eye level. His deep jade eyes bore into mine intensely.

"When are you going to understand that isn't just what this is? I'm sexually attracted to you, yeah, I'll admit that. But there's more here between us. I know it and you know it," he says, using my own words against me.

"I'm not going to sleep with you, Edward. You'll only hurt me in the end." I drop my gaze, hoping to break the spell.

"How can you be so sure?" His hand cups my cheek, bringing my eyes back to his.

I swallow thickly before answering him. "I can feel it." It's as honest as any answer I can give him.

"I swear, Bella, I'll do anything in my power to try not to hurt you. I just want to know…what this is…this pull between us." He motions between us as he explains.

"I've never felt anything like it before, and I want to know what it is. I'm not saying I'm in love, because I wouldn't even know if I were, and let's face it, I'm a teenage guy. But I know I don't just want to sleep with you. I want to _know_ you and to figure out what this…this fucking electric magnetism that keeps bringing me back to you." His voice is sincere, and my body trembles with the thrill that his words bring.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore," he says. His fierce gaze locks on mine as his face moves minutely closer to my own.

I nervously tap my fingertips against my lips to keep myself from responding. I watch him slip even closer to me.

Blush creeps up my neck and bleeds out across my cheeks as my reply to him plays on repeat through my head.

_Then don't__. _

* * *

><p><strong>AN #2: So, yeah, I'm pretty much a horrible person for leaving it there. But, it is what it is. I need some inspiration, whoever leaves me the most creative review gets a teaser of the next chapter by the beginning of next week. C'mon, do ya have it in ya? ;)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>So, let's get to the story recs, shall we? <strong>_

**All Nighters - by, CaraNo http : / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7300037/1/All_Nighters**

Edward Cullen needs a new assistant for when he travels. When Charlie, close friend and business partner, suggests Bella, Edward doesn't hesitate. After all, he knows what a bright young woman Bella is. His ex wife even used to babysit her. Drabble fic.

. . . . . . . .

**Countdown to 2012 - by, Various Artists - tons of writers collabbed and contributed oneshots to this, check them out! Don't forget to review! :) http : / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7348457/1/Countdown_to_2012_Farewell_to_2011  
><strong>Three holidays, one countdown, various authors, dozens of one shots. Sweet and sour lemonade, and collaborations by all authors that will make you squeee and squirm and sometimes gasp aloud in horror or wonder. All rated M for lemony goodness.

**I wrote for the Halloween round robin and contributed a Christmas O/S.  
><strong>

. . . . . . .

**Season of Our Discontent contest - by, Various Artists (It's all anon.)  
>http :  www (DOT) fanfiction (DOT) net/~seasonofourdiscontent**

I contributed to this one, too.

* * *

><p><strong>Love you all, I'm looking forward to your reviews. <strong>

**xxoo,**

**Missy**


	12. Chapter 12: Cooler than Me

"Dreaming or awake, we perceive only events that have meaning to us."  
><strong><em>- Jane Roberts<em>**

* * *

><p>If I could write you a song<br>And make you fall in love,  
>I would already have you up under my arm.<br>I used up all of my tricks,  
>I hope that you like this.<br>But you probably won't,  
>You think you're cooler than me<strong>.<strong>

**_Cooler than Me - by: Mike Posner_**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12:<strong>

_**Cooler than Me**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Edward POV-<strong>_

I'm entranced as I watch her drum her fingers against her lips repeatedly. The silence is frustrating me—in more ways than one. I want nothing more than to rip her hand from her face and kiss the shit out of her.

However, I am Edward Cullen, and I have more control than that. I'm way too smooth for that.

Who the fuck am I kidding? I'm _not_ beyond that. I'd grab her right now and fuck the life from her in front of God, my siblings, and everyone if I actually thought she'd let me.

Although, if she really isn't into me, I'd respect her decision and back off. However, if she's really just avoiding this…_pull_ between us because she's friends with Alice, then she needs to drop that shit quick. I mean, Emmett and Rose are together, and Jasper isn't pissed about it. Jasper is dating Alice, and Emmett and I aren't trying to kill him. Bella needs to let go and relax. See where this takes us.

But no, she's completely freaked out about it, and thinks I'm only out to get in her pants. Which was probably true at first, but I don't think it is anymore. Something tells me this is different. I won't know for sure until I've at least _touched_ her, but it seems to me—and apparently to everyone else around us—that I'm a little more _into_ Bella than I usually am when I'm trying to hook up with someone. I'm working a lot harder than I usually do, and the guys are sure I've found my "other half."

This leaves me here in this fucking hot tub, wanting nothing more than to get my hands on little miss Bella Swan, and she looks like she's deliberating a murder trial or something. Her fingertips continue to drum against her soft, plump lips, and her eyes are concentrated on the foamy surface of the water like there's a monster swimming in it and she's afraid it'll bite her.

When I can't take anymore of the silence, I softly wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her hand away from her mouth.

Her eyes snap up to mine, and I start to slowly move closer to her, bringing my face closer to hers.

We're both panting softly, breathing in each other's puffs of air. Her eyes darken and flutter closed just as I'm about to kiss her.

Suddenly, we feel a warm splash as Emmett enters the hot tub, bursting the bubble we were wrapped in and forcing us back to reality. I hesitantly pull back and sit next to her as everyone else follows Emmett into the pool.

_Fucking cockblock. _

"How's your leg, Bella?" Rose asks after she sits down.

"It's feeling better. The warm water helps a lot." I look over at her profile and wonder what she'd do if I said "fuck it" and kissed her right here in front of everyone. She'd probably die from mortification and kill me, but at least I'd die a happy man.

Guessing by how she's been handling me, she isn't very experienced when it comes to intimacy. Every time I talk to her with the least bit of innuendo, she freaks out or gets all hostile with me, instead of flirting back and trying to jump me like most girls do.

At first, I was horrified. The last thing I needed was to get involved with a virgin or a clingy girl. Now, however, I can't seem to stay away from her. Something happened in the past few months. I knew I was getting in too deep before her accident, the way I'd tease her just to get her ball-busting attitude to shine through her normally stoic exterior.

Then the accident happened, and as soon as I saw her in that car, lifeless and bleeding, I lost it. I thought she was dead, just like Jacob. I was so scared that she had died on impact.

I could tell Jacob was gone; there wasn't much left of him from the force of the truck hitting them. But when I reached in and felt her pulse…it was like an epiphany. Everything had been put into perspective.

I don't just want to piss her off. I want to make her happy and just…be around her all the time. I want to apologize for ever being a schmuck to her, and for trying to lead her on. I want to protect her from people like Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. I want to make sure people like Paul Akalat and Mike Newton stay far away from her.

_She's driving me crazy with all of these different wants and needs._

"What do you think, Edward?"

Realizing I haven't been paying attention to any of the conversation around me, I avert my gaze so I'm no longer staring at Bella—probably freaking her out—and look over at the person who addressed me.

"What's that, Alice?" I ask.

"We're trying to figure out what we should do tonight. Emmett said there's a party at Bree's house. Do you want to go, or should we stay in for the night?"

I contemplate that for a few seconds. If I stay home, they could still go without me, but I don't want Bella to be a fifth wheel; these guys pair off at parties and find random places to hook up.

Not complaining—I do it, too. I just hook up with a different girl every time I go. It's not like I'm already paired up like they all are. That could be uncomfortable, for Bella to be in that atmosphere and see all of the girls I've hooked up with. There's sure to be La Push girls there, and everyone knows I've had my fair share of them, too.

"Uh…" I reply, still not sure about what to do. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"I can go home? Charlie's probably burned the house down by now…" Bella trails off.

Simultaneous "no's" are shouted, and we all decide to stay in for the night—noting Bella's reluctance to go to the party. Bree or Riley usually have parties every weekend, so it's not like we're missing anything by not going.

"Just because we're not going out doesn't mean we're not dressing up. You're not getting out of that, Bella." Alice smiles vindictively at Bella, and I think I see her shrink back a bit.

Bella looks so distraught. It's quite funny. When she hears me snicker, she scowls at me and pinches my side. I jump away from her with an outraged look on my face, which she finds amusing.

"That fucking hurt!" I yelp as I rub the tender spot. The girl can pinch.

"It was supposed to, Jackass." All of the sexual tension has dissipated between us, and we're back to our usual snarky banter.

"You really shouldn't have done that," I snarl as I slowly move toward her, cornering her against the edge of the tub. She has nowhere to go, and she isn't tall enough to climb over the edge. I doubt the others are going to help her, which only helps me.

She stands on the step, her head barely above mine as she puts her hand on her hip and gives me her best bitchy look.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?" she says rebelliously.

"This!" I attack her, wrapping my arms around her waist as I pull her to the center of the hot tub and pull her legs up so she's cradled in my arms like a baby. I tickle her sides until she's squirming breathlessly, begging me to stop.

"Say uncle!" I tease her.

"Never!" she says defiantly as she wiggles and thrashes against me.

Suddenly, I lose my grip on her and she accidentally slides down under the water. I immediately pull her up, freaking out, and making sure she can breathe.

"Bella! Are you okay?" I ask worriedly.

She sputters a bit, coughing up the water I'm sure she's swallowed as she reaches for the side of the tub and steps onto the seat she was just sitting on.

Wiping her eyes, she turns toward me as I'm looking her over, making sure she's okay.

In my worry, I miss the wicked gleam in her eyes as she launches herself off the seat and on top of me, causing us both to go under.

I pull us both back up above the water quickly and look at her with raised eyebrows.

"You sneaky little shit!" I say accusingly.

"Ha ha. Gotcha, sucka!" she snarks and quickly climbs up the steps and out of the hot tub.

_Touché, Bella, touché. _

**. . . . . . .**

Later on in the afternoon, Emmett, Jasper, and I are upstairs playing games on Emmett's Xbox when Emmett receives a text from Rose, telling us to come down to the media room right away. At first, we don't really want to, but when she says it'll be worth it, we decide to go find out what's going on down there.

She also says to be quiet when we walk down, so we know it must be something good.

As we slowly walk down the stairs to the basement, we hear Katy Perry's _California Girls_ playing from the speakers of the surround sound. I look over at Emmett and quirk my eyebrow, wondering what the hell they called us down here for.

_I'm sorry, but Katy Perry music sucks. _

When we round the corner to the media room, we finally see what all of the fuss is about.

Alice, Rosalie, and Bella are all in skimpy workout clothes playing _Just Dance 3_ on the Wii. Alice is on the left, Rosalie is on the right, and Bella is in the middle.

It would probably look pretty comical to the other two—especially with how bad Bella is kicking their asses at the game—but it's just…too hot for me to laugh about.

Bella in her cutoff sweat pants and double layered sports bra is enough to kill me.

Christ, I've seen her in a bikini. This should be a breeze. But she wasn't hot and sweaty in her bikini. Her little stray hairs that sneak out of her French-braid weren't clinging to her face with a light layer of sweat, and her chest wasn't rising and falling with exertion when she was wearing her bikini.

Immediately, I need to adjust the uncomfortable commotion in my pants before the situation becomes noticeable.

_Fuck, what is she doing to me? _

When the part comes up for them to shimmy their asses, I almost groan as Bella's little ass shakes in front of me. Thankfully, I'm not the only one affected by the display, as Emmett startles them by coughing loudly.

They all turn to face us quickly, and surprisingly, the only one who looks shocked to see us is Bella.

She looks at Alice suspiciously. "I thought you said they'd be playing _Madden_ or _CoD_ all night?"

"They usually do." Alice shrugs.

"Alright, you heifers, which one of you called them down here?" Bella snaps at Alice and Rose.

"Nose goes!" Alice squeaks and quickly raises her hand to touch her nose.

"Rose! You asshole!" Bella shrieks before she runs towards Rosalie.

The scene before us is quite funny. Rosalie, who is easily over five and a half feet tall, probably closer to five foot, eight inches tall, is running from tiny little Bella. Behind Bella is Alice, who is trying to calm the situation.

Rose finally reaches a dead end and circles around the pool table to come back toward us. Bella shocks us all by effortlessly dropping down to the ground, rolling under the pool table, and ends up tripping Rosalie with her own body.

"Gotcha, sucka!" Bella calls out in a really weird-ass voice before she straddles Rose and starts trying to pin her down.

The girls wrestling was not helping my current boner dilemma, so I have to sit down on the couch and watch it all unfold with a throw pillow over my lap.

Rose's arms are much longer than Bella's, but it's obvious that Bella has a lot of upper body strength; from where, I don't know—but she's easily overpowering Rose.

Rose is calling out for Alice or Emmett to help her as they both play fight and giggle on the floor. Jasper tells them to move to the carpet if they're going to wrestle, which they completely ignore. Emmett is putting money on Bella, much to Rose's ire. And poor Alice is practically pissing herself laughing as she sits on the pool table and watches it all unfold.

"If you piss on that table, Dad will have your head, Alice!" Emmett yells at her, obviously thinking the same thing I am.

"Give up?" Bella asks Rosalie as she leans over her with Rose's arms pushing Bella up and making her fall back down on top of Rose. To Bella's credit, she's a trooper. She hasn't fallen off of Rose once or given her the upper hand.

"Eat shit!" Rose giggles and continues to try to wiggle her hands from Bella's grasp.

"I'll loogie you, Rosalie! Don't push me!" Bella warns.

"You'll what me?" Rosalie stops fighting for a minute and looks confused.

"You know…loogie you…" Bella trails off as she quickly makes a sound in the back of her throat to clear the phlegm from it in order to spit it out.

From my seat on the couch, I can see the fear and disgust in Rosalie's eyes as she starts fighting against Bella with more vigor. Alice's face is purple from laughing. Emmett's cracking up so hard that he just farted…and it stinks.

Really bad.

Jasper is torn on what he's supposed to do. Save his twin? Or watch the epicness as it unfolds. I assume he chooses the latter as he makes no move to help his sister at all.

Suddenly, a small string of spit leaves Bella's mouth and dangles in Rosalie's face. The room is silent until we hear a blood-curdling scream leave Rosalie's mouth. It startles all of us, even Bella, but she quickly recovers and sucks the spit back up before her grip on Rose's hands falters and she falls off her sideways.

"You should have seen your face!" Bella cackles as Rosalie quickly stands and adjusts herself. Bella's laughing so hard her legs are kicking back and forth like a little kid. Alice kneels down beside her, laughing right along with her.

"You asshole! Why didn't you help me?" Rosalie snaps at Emmett as she slaps him in the back of the head before she plops down on the other end of the sectional sofa.

"And you! We're supposed to be twins!" She sneers at Jasper coldly.

"Well, you kind of deserved it. _You_ did call us down here without Bella knowing," Jasper replies in his defense.

A small smile splits across Rosalie's face as her eyes snap toward Bella and Alice, still giggling on the floor.

After a minute she speaks. "Totally worth it."

"Maybe…but are you ever gonna do it again?" Bella asks in between pants.

"Probably." Rose nods and laughs, too.

A few seconds later, Alice and Bella pick themselves up off the floor and walk back over by where we're sitting.

"Round two?" Alice asks Bella and Rose.

"Hell yeah." Rose nods.

Bella's eyes flick over to me and her face flushes even more than it already is.

"I dunno," she mumbles and bites her bottom lip nervously.

"C'mon, Bella, you were having a great time, and you're awesome at it." Alice attempts to talk her into it.

"You're playing, and you're gonna show these dumbasses how it's done. Seriously, the only one with rhythm out of all of them is Edward, and that's only because he's semi-musically inclined. They all suck at this game," Rose says.

"I take offense to that!" I shout at her.

"Yeah, what he said!" Emmett bellows back.

Jasper nods.

Alice and Rosalie roll their eyes. Bella laughs at our stupidity.

And finally, they start playing again.

I don't recognize the song, but it's got a salsa beat and there's a lot of swaying. For the entire duration of the song, my eyes never leave Bella's hips.

I actually don't tear them away until Rose and Alice are picking a new song, and the only reason I look away is because at some point during my ogling of Bella's ass, she's turned around, therefore making me ogle her crotch. Which, I must say, is also very fucking enticing, but if I'm staring at her crotch, that means she's now facing me and knows what I've been doing for the past three minutes or so.

To add to my transgression, my eyes don't immediately flick right to hers; they slowly trail up her body, taking in her toned yet soft stomach, and they pause briefly on her chest. Okay, so maybe they pause for a long amount of time on her chest, but really, who's counting?

Okay, maybe Bella is.

Her hands sweep vertically in front of her as she says, "My eyes are up here, Edward."

_Fiery little vixen, aren't you? _

My eyes finally flick up to hers, and I give her my best crooked grin. "I'd say I'm sorry, but…" I shrug.

"You're not," she deadpans.

"Nope," I reply.

"Do you always hit on girls that aren't interested in you?" she asks complacently.

"Not usually. You're definitely an anomaly," I retort.

She rolls her eyes and sits down on the couch leaving a full cushion of space between us.

"I'll play." Emmett stands up and walks over to the TV to join in on the next song.

"Me too," Jasper says as he joins them, too, leaving Bella and me alone on the couch.

"Subtle," Bella mumbles and stretches on the couch before getting comfortable. I slide over beside her and smile as she looks up at me with part amusement, part exasperation.

"_Really?_" she asks in disbelief, knowing I'm going to hit on her again.

"Stop acting like you don't _want_ this," I say huskily as I move my face closer to hers.

Her breath hitches, and her eyes noticeably darken.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice is shaky as she speaks and afterwards, she's biting her lip so hard I'm fearful she'll draw blood.

"Stop that," I scold her lightly and use my thumb to tug her lip from between her teeth.

"Stop what?" she asks breathlessly.

"Biting your lip. That's my job," I reply and slowly dip my face down to hers.

I hear her whimper as I'm about to press my lips to hers, and suddenly we hear a loud crash not far from us.

I groan and look up to see Emmett on the floor. His Wii remote has been flung through one of the glass cabinets that houses our DVD's and games, and everyone else is standing around laughing at him.

**. . . . . . .**

Without really thinking it through, I scoop Bella off and mumble something to the others about showing her the rest of the house. They can't really do much about it because they have to pick up all of the glass from Emmett's mess, so I quickly leave the media room with Bella in my arms.

Before I reach the stairs, I have a decision to make; do I take her to my room or somewhere else private in the house? I quickly decide on the latter because I know Bella is not going to give in and sleep with me, so taking her to my room could possibly give her the wrong impression.

I walk through the pool area and go off into the sauna. I shut the door behind us after I flick the switch on to pour the water over the hot coals, and I sit down with Bella on my lap.

The only light we have is the soft glow coming in from the pool area, because I decided against turning them on. Her profile is amazing. For a second, we're both just panting and looking at each other.

"Edward." Her voice is airy, and the sound goes straight to my groin. I'm sure she can feel it, and that thought is confirmed when she inhales sharply.

"Bella, I want you so fucking bad it hurts." I'm panting, and it's taking everything in my power not to maul her right here, but I want her to want me as badly as I want her.

I'm completely floored when she responds by moaning softly.

I quickly lift her back up and turn her so she's facing me, straddling my lap. Then I put one hand on her hip and the other on the back of her head as I dip down to kiss her.

The second our lips meet, all of my blood rushes to my cock. I feel like I'm being incinerated by her heat. Her entire body is scorching hot.

She makes breathy sounds against my lips and squirms closer to me as I deepen the kiss by opening my mouth and pressing my tongue against her lips. When she parts her lips, I dive in and taste her.

She tastes fucking perfect. Like nutmeg and caramel and just fucking perfect.

Bella's first to break the kiss, and when she does, she throws her head back as she grinds herself against me.

"Oh, God!" she calls out as she rubs her pussy against my throbbing cock through our clothes.

I kiss her cheek and move down to kiss her throat and chest as she continues to lean back, giving me access to the front of her body.

I use both hands to grip her hips as I rock myself against her and grunt against the flesh of her neck.

"So fucking sexy," I growl against her and bite and suck at the side of her neck.

"Edward, please," she moans softly and tangles her fingers in my hair as she pulls.

"Tell me what you want, Bella," I say against her flesh as I continue to bite and suck on her skin, marking her as mine.

"Touch me," she begs as she scoots herself even closer to me on my lap, forcing my jean clad cock to rub even more vigorously against where she wants it most.

"Where?" I ask huskily, slightly teasing her, but mainly wanting to hear her talk dirty to me.

"Everywhere," she moans and yanks harder on my hair.

_Fuck yes. _

I grip her hips even tighter and pull her against me as I move my mouth back to hers and fuse us together. My tongue dances with hers as my hands rub down her sides—acquainting each other with our bodies.

I'm startled by a sharp pinch on my arm. It causes me to jump, and I look down to make sure it wasn't a huge freaky spider or anything. When I look back up, I'm completely dazed and confused.

I realize Bella is the one that pinched me, and suddenly she's snapping her fingers in my face.

"What?" I ask with irritation.

"You're grunting." She quirks an eyebrow at me, and that's when I finally realize she's sitting beside of me, not on top of me. When I look around, I realize we're still sitting in the media room. Alice and the others are helping Emmett pick up the pieces to the shattered media cabinet, and Bella and I have just been sitting here the entire time.

It was just my imagination.

I was daydreaming.

I've officially been dazzled by little miss Bella Swan.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *Hides behind metal trash can lid* Please don't kill me! lol I'm sorry, I was really gonna have it be real, but…I mean…that'd be just too out of character for this Bella. So, sorry, no love yet. Don't worry though, things will definitely heat up between these two, and when it does—it'll hopefully be worth the wait. **

**Thank you to all of my readers. ILY hard. I really am sorry it's taken me forever to update! Between entering all of the side stuff, the holidays, and all of real life's random bullshit, it's just taken me a lot longer than usual. **

**I'm currently only working on this (Little Miss), Hourglass, and a contribution to Breath-of-Twilight's countdown to Valentine's Day. So…I should be alright as far as posting every 2-3 weeks. **

**Just give me a little time to get back on track and we'll be all set.**

**Thanks for reading. I hope your Holidays were _amazing_. **

**xxoo,**

**Missy**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Story rec time! <em>**

So, this story is by far one of the funniest stories I've ever read...EVER. I literally ugly laugh, tinkle, and snort all in the span on 3 seconds at least once during practically every chapter. If you haven't heard of it...go read it. Now. It's a collab done by two hilariously amazeballs and gifted authors. Go check it out. The first chapter has a bit of a heavy drug reference, but the rest of it is mainly alcohol and weed. If that doesn't offend you and you're a snarky asshole like me, you'll probably love it.  
><strong>Dirt Roads<strong> - by, **_Winehoes_**  
><em>http:www (dot) fan fiction (dot) net/s/7303130/1/bDirt_b_bRoads_b_  
>Summary:<em> Trucker hats, possums, and dirt roads. Shenanigans ensue. Is there really less trouble in the country, or are the kids just better at not getting caught? ExB, AH. Story contains illegal drug use.<em>

**. . . . .**

**Warning:** **Self-pimp**: (lol)  
>So, yeah, if any of you are wondering why it takes me an obnoxiously long time to update this baby, it's because I've been working on this ridiculously angsty drabble fic called Hourglass. Personally, I blame it on the music I listen to. I don't know. A song crawls in my head, and refuses to leave until I write about it. So...if you're looking for something of the angsty fashion-I update every Sunday, and...well...this story is seriously loaded with angst. Don't forget to read the warnings when you start it...the subject material is of the M rated fashion and it's very dark.<br>**Hourglass** - by, _**hottygurl7**_  
><em>http: www (dot) fan fiction (dot) net/s/7615932/1/Hourglass  
><em>Summary:_ Rosalie's in an abusive relationship with Royce, one night he takes it too far and nearly kills her. Bella's the best friend who always picks up the pieces. The only question is: will they both make it out alive? (Non-Slash)  
>There are two types of people in this world: Good &amp; Evil. Kind &amp; Cruel. How far would you go to protect someone you love? Is revenge always as sweet as it seems?<em>


	13. Chapter 13: Underdog

**"I will far rather see the race of man extinct than that we should become less than beasts by making the noblest of God's creation, woman, the object of our lust."  
><em>- Mahatma Gandhi<em>  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13:<strong>

**_Underdog_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

_Don't jump him._

_Don't jump him._

_Do not jump Edward, Bella._

That is my mantra right now. God, he looks so delish, and the grunting thing he was just doing about killed me. His eyes glazed over, and he was breathing heavily, and yeah. Edward Cullen is sexy when he's turned on. That's what I assume is going on—either that, or he's uber pissed at Emmett for breaking the media center and is trying to control his menacing rage, but somehow I don't think that's the reason.

"I-you…we…" he stutters. For being so hot, he can be really stupid sometimes.

"What?" I ask, totally fucking confused.

"I zoned out," he replied, averting his gaze from mine.

_Totally fucking turned on. _

"Yeah?" I ask, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Yeah." He doesn't go any further, so I pry a little.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I smile at him.

"Definitely not," his face blushes and he scoots away from me a little.

"How come?" I emphasize "come" a little and scoot closer to him. I'm dying laughing inside, because I can tell how uncomfortable he is.

"Uh, I. What?" he squeaks.

"What are you thinking about, Edward?" I ask as I lean into his side a little, invading his personal space.

"You," he responds immediately.

His confidence takes me by surprise, and when our eyes lock, I notice how intensely he's looking at me. If it were anyone else, I'd be uncomfortable, but I'm sure I'm looking at him the same way.

"What about me?" I blurt, not really paying attention to the shit spewing from my lips.

"About-" His reply is cut off by Emmett's loud and vulgar voice. We suddenly notice he's standing right in front of us, and he doesn't look very happy.

"Why don't you two just fuck already? Then when you're finished, maybe you could help clean up this mess before Mom and Dad get back and strangle us?" Emmett asks curtly.

Emmett's words are the cold bucket of water I desperately need to splash me back into reality. Edward Cullen is a dangerous and toxic drug, one I do not need to get addicted to. Because like everything else that is bad for you, he'll leave you wanting more, craving him, only to move on to the next best thing.

I don't want to get my heart broken.

I jump off the sofa and offer to help. Alice hands me the cord on the Shop-Vac, and I go plug it in and grab some paper bags to throw the large pieces of glass into.

After the mess is cleaned up, we girls go up to Alice's room, and the boys go off and do whatever they like to do. We all decide that we need to get cleaned up, so I grab my things and head off to the guest room to shower.

While standing under the deliciously scalding spray, my mind drifts to different scenarios of Edward and me together.

_Him having to bend way over to kiss me…holding my hand in the hallways at school while people like Lauren and Jessica stare and ridicule him. _

Or worst of all, _Edward taking what he wants from me, and realizing that it wasn't worth it, and leaving me._

I scrub my body with vigor as all of those scenarios—and many more—filter through my brain, until I hear a knock on the door and Rose asking if I'm alright.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be out in a minute," I call back to her and quickly rinse and shut the shower off. I quickly wrap the towel around me and step up onto the stepstool in front of the sink to brush my teeth and hair.

I throw on a pair of panties, a strapless bra—which Alice made me bring, a t-shirt, and a black pair of cutoff yoga pants. All of my comfy clothes are cutoffs because everything is too long on me.

I leave my hair down and pile my clothes up on my bag as I put it in the corner of the bedroom. Figuring I'll probably be sleeping up here later, it should be okay if I leave my clothes.

I walk down a few stairs to the second floor back into Alice's room. I find the girls waiting for me, lounging around the room.

"Was it easy enough to find the guest room?" Alice asks as I walk into the room.

"Yeah, it was pretty easy to find. Are both of the rooms up there empty?"

"No, one is Edward's room. He prefers to be away from everyone else so he can play his music and stuff."

_Oh…_Suddenly the bedroom upstairs doesn't seem as cozy as it did a few minutes ago.

How is that going to work? Being on the third floor, secluded with Edward, away from everyone else.

My face flushes as the thought, _no one can hear you scream, _filters through my stupid, perverted mind. I know instantly by the suggestive smirks on Alice and Rosalie's faces that I'm busted.

"What?" I squeak.

"Nothing," they chirp in unison.

_Assholes. _

"Whatever," I dismiss the conversation. "What are we doing now?" I ask, wondering exactly they have in mind for the rest of our evening.

"Well, we were thinking about throwing back a few cocktails and trying on clothes," Rose responds.

"Say what?" I ask, still not liking the sound of dressing up, but knowing I'll definitely need a few cocktails before we start our trampy makeover.

Alice speaks slowly, enunciating every syllable like I'm an invalid. "Geh-ting dr-un-k and loo-king hot."

_Snarky bitch, isn't she._

"I caught that, dipshit. What I wanted to know is…_why_ the fuck are we dressing up to stay _in_?" My eyebrows knit together as I glance back and forth between Alice and Rose.

"Who needs a reason to dress up?" Alice shrugs and Rose nods.

"Uh…_I_ do, actually. I only dress up for funerals, weddings, the first day of school, and picture day—because I'll never hear the end of it from Renee if I look like a scrub in them." My ramble ends with them smirking at me, and me huffing and puffing about dressing up.

"Fine. I'm only relenting because you two are some sadistic bitches, and I know I'll never hear the end of it. But I do have a few conditions." I use my stern voice and fix them both with a serious stare.

"_One:_ I get final say over any and all clothing, makeup, and hair suggestions. Understood?" I glance back and forth between the two slut-cakes.

They both hesitate but concede with a solemn nod.

"Good, glad you're so agreeable. _Two:_ Do not let me make a fool out of myself if I get a little tipsy."

They agree with a case of the giggles.

"And _lastly_—now, just because this is last doesn't mean it's not important, because it's the most important of them all—" I pause for dramatic effect, making sure I have their full attention.

"Do _not_ let me do anything with Edward."

Alice immediately shakes her head at me, ready to protest when Rose cuts in, "We won't let you do anything you don't _want_ to do with Edward."

"Why does that _not_ comfort me?" I ask them both skeptically.

"Because whether you want to admit it or not, you and Edward have some serious chemistry. The sexual tension is a fifty on a scale of one to ten. Seriously," Rose mutters.

Alice just nods and keeps her mouth shut.

"What would it take to get you two to make sure I don't sleep with Edward tonight?" I ask almost desperately.

I've never really consumed large quantities of alcohol before. Sure, I used to sneak some of Charlie's Vitamin R every once in a while; and Renee would let me drink a glass of wine_ or three_ at dinner. But I've never drunk in a social setting with peers and shit. I'm slightly afraid of what could happen if I was drunk around someone I was attracted to.

"Anything short of you being a virgin would probably not be a good enough reason," Alice says thoughtfully. Rose agrees.

Now, normally shit like this would be my business, and only my business. But…I'm a little desperate here. So I cling to that reason and fucking run with it. I out myself faster than…well…I can't come up with anything right now, but it is fast.

"I am!" I blurt.

"You are what?" Rose asks, not following along.

_Ditz. _

"A virgin," I respond, my face aflame.

"Fuck off," Rose retorts in disbelief.

"Yeah right." Alice snubs the idea, like it's totally impossible.

"Dude, pretty sure I mentioned that before." I try convincing.

"Uh, pretty sure you _didn't,_" Alice responds.

"Well I am. Want me to prove it?" I give them a challenging glare.

"How?" Rose asks skeptically, but looks like she's about to burst out laughing.

"I dunno, maybe if I get drunk enough someone can give me an exam. Go cherry checking," I mumble darkly.

"Wait, you're not fucking with us?" Rose asks incredulously.

"No, I'm not," I affirm.

"Your v-card is safe with me," Alice responds dutifully.

"Me too," Rose vows. "But…that doesn't mean you can't do other stuff with him…right?" Rose asks hopefully.

"I fucking hope I don't." I sigh.

_Maybe the alcohol thing isn't such a great idea…_

**. . . . . . .**

_Getting smashed was the best idea. Remind me to grope whoever decided it was a good idea to drink tonight. _

It's official. I'm drunk. I'm not using that term loosely either. No, this isn't just a little buzz. I'm plowed.

The good Doctor and Esme apparently decided it was a good idea to meet up with a few friends in Sequim and leave their children and their friends—home alone for the duration of the evening until sometime tomorrow afternoon.

_Fantastic! _

Sadly, I don't even mean that sarcastically right now. I think it's a fucking great idea! You know what else is a great idea? Seagram's 7 Dark Honey whiskey. Yup, I've had a couple shots of it so far, not to mention the fruity mixed concoctions I sipped off of that Alice and Rose mixed up while we "played" dress up. Now, I'm ready to rock.

"I'm not shitting you…" I slur as Alice and Rose listen on with rapt attention.

"She literally signed us up for Zumba and pole dancing classes," I finish.

"Let me get this straight," Alice hiccups. "Your mom signed you two up for erotic dancing lessons? As a mother-daughter bonding activity?"

"Yeah. She goes through these phases where she just has to try the latest and greatest trend out there. Apparently, those were really big last year." I shrug as I sip from my Sex on the Beach.

_Tasty._

"That is just…_fucking_ awesome," Rose says.

Alice is nodding furtively, probably trying to figure out how she can get Esme to do something like that.

"Not really…we lived in a highly populated area. A lot of weirdoes showed up to those classes." I shiver as I remember some of the nut-jobs I've encountered due to Renee's short-lived hobbies.

"Can you show us a move?" Alice smiles mischievously.

"Uh…maybe later." Still not quite that drunk.

"All in good time, my pretty, all in good time," Rose cackles.

**. . . . . . .**

_Roughly an hour later._

I stumble against Alice's closet door, and my foot slips out of the too-large high heel she's forced me into.

"Told ya, the shoes are a bust. Your feet are too big!" I shout at Alice, even though she's only two feet away from me.

"Oh boy." She sighs and kicks the heels out of my way, probably so I don't trip over them.

"Let's go dance!" I bellow.

"You wanna dance in that dress?" Rose asks me as she chuckles.

"Fuck yes, I do. It took you guys forever to pick it out; I'm not changing now. Why, isn't it perrty?" I say, my voice somewhere between a drawl and a slur as I twirl ungracefully.

"Beautiful," Alice responds as she opens her door and waits for us to exit. On the way out, I catch my reflection in her mirror and wink at myself. Why? I have no idea, but I do.

My dress is black and strapless; the material hugs my chest but flares out underneath it, flowing in layers down to just below my knees. On Alice or Rose it'd be quite a bit shorter, but, well, I'm short, so it's not.

Rose curled my hair while Alice did my makeup. She gave me a smoky eye look and added some eyeliner and lip gloss. After that, we had a slightly heated argument about shoes, but as I just explained, they had to relent to me being barefoot for the evening.

Just then, an idea struck me. "Hey Alice, I'll be right down. You two go ahead. I gotta pee."

"Are you sure?" Rose asks hesitantly.

"Yeah," I wiggle around imitating a "pee-pee dance."

"Okay, see you down there." They both leave the room, and I can hear them knocking on Emmett's door, checking on the boys.

When I know I'm alone, I rush back over to Alice's closet and snag her fuzzy pink bunny slippers. I know she'll freak out about my fashion faux pas, and I can't pass up the opportunity to rile her up.

I slip my feet into them and quickly make my way downstairs to the media room.

I hear the stereo playing "Bottoms Up" by Trey Songz when I reach the bottom, and I chuckle as I see Emmett dancing, tipping his beer bottle back each time "bottoms up" is said.

The song finishes up before anyone notices I'm downstairs, and when I hear "Get on the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull playing, I can't help but sway a little with the beat.

Emmett is still the only one dancing, and for some reason, I feel bad for him. So I sashay up by him and start dancing too, fuzzy slippers and all. As Pitbull raps, I put my hands in front of myself and jerk them back and forth fast.

You know what I'm talking about, where you bend your arms in front of you and jerk them really quickly back and forth. Yeah, I don't know why I picked this for an epic, "rap dance move", but for the night it is.

Then when it slows down I sway slowly and let my head fall back, totally moving with the flow of the music. Emmett is absolutely thrilled that someone is dancing with him, and we both just dance around like goons for the rest of the song. He shows me some of his moves, and I show him some of mine.

The others are eating it up, catcalling and hooting and hollering, but I pay them no mind. The only thing I can focus on is the beat causing my body to move, the alcohol running through my veins, and the invincible feeling it brings along with it.

When our jam ends, we decide to turn the music down so we can all do something as a group, since the others are such big pussies that they refuse to get up and dance with us. Alice side-eyes the pink fuzzies on my feet, and I just wink and lick my lips seductively at her, causing her to giggle-snort while shaking her head at me.

"You know you like it, baby," I purr seductively at her as I lean over Edward and touch Alice's knee softly.

When her face flushes and Edward shifts uncomfortably beneath me, I sit back up and laugh loudly. I'm not talking about a chuckle here; I'm talking about the all out ugly laugh, snorting, cackling, etcetera. It's pretty bad.

We try to play a game of Scratch, some weird card game Jasper is trying to teach us, but we girls are way too drunk to even concentrate on the rules. We call the card-playing quits, and Rose gets a wicked gleam in her eyes as she whistles to get all of our attention.

"I know what we should play," she says.

"I am not playing Spin the Bottle! I'm just sayin' if I have to kiss my brothers, my Honey Whiskey is gonna come back up, and it won't be pretty!" Alice shouts and giggle-snorts.

_Where the hell did we put that whiskey, anyway? I'm getting kinda thirsty._

"You kind of sounded like Bella there, Ali. I think she's been rubbing off on you," Jasper drawls to her.

_I do not talk like that…do I? Eh, whatevs. _

"Nah, Spin the Bottle's for grade school. What'dya think about Truth or Dare?" Rose asks challengingly.

"Okay," I agree without argument. I'm hoping we get dared to drink a lot, 'cause I don't want my buzz to fade out.

"Really?" Alice and Rose ask at the same time.

"Uh, yeah, why not?" I don't really understand why they thought I wouldn't agree.

I look around for the bottle with the big 7 on it.

_Ole Honey, where out thou?_

"I'm thirsty," I say out of the middle of nowhere.

"What do you want to drink?" Edward asks politely.

"Honey," is my immediate response.

"Huh?" He's confused.

"Whiskey, duh," I respond like it's the most obvious thing.

"Bella, I think you should take it easy. I'll mix you a Bacardi Limôn and Diet Coke, 'kay?" Rose asks.

"Is it good?" I ask.

"Yeah," the rest of the room agrees.

"Okay," I agree.

Thirty minutes later, after everyone has gone to the bathroom and figured out their drink and snack situations, we find ourselves just starting a heated game of Truth or Dare. We decide to let the boys go first, they get go first.

"Bella," Emmett starts with a wicked grin.

"Truth," I answer before he can continue.

"Excellent." He drums his fingers together like a super villain.

"Is it true that you think Edward is hot?" he asks.

I refuse to let him rile me. I don't know if it's the alcohol or if I'm just getting used to Emmett's shenanigans, but I've prepared myself for this.

"Doesn't everyone?" I reply cryptically.

"That isn't an answer," Emmett warns.

"Yes. Edward is definitely a pretty boy." I wink at Edward and take a sip out of my drink, wishing I would've sat someplace else. It's kind of awkward sitting right next to the person they're asking if I'm attracted to.

We continue on like this for quite a while, guys and girls having a go at each other. Somewhere along the line, however, we switch things up and some of the girls are daring and asking the other girls questions.

"So, Bella," Alice starts.

"Uh huh?" I ask, then I take a drink and find nothing but ice in my glass.

_Shit, I've had a lot to drink tonight._

Knowing what she's about to ask me I say, "Dare."

She smiles wickedly. "How about you show us how those dance classes paid off, and give Edward a lap dance?"

Without missing a beat I say, "It wasn't Stripper 101, Alice, and you don't have a pole."

"No, but Eddie does," Emmett quips.

"Not big enough," I retort.

"Hey!" Edward shouts.

"I'm just sayin'," I defend and pat his arm gently. He gives me the side-eye and I snicker at him.

_Bonehead._

Rose and Jasper chuckle at us.

"Alright, you meddling little Pixie, I'll do it if you rub your face all over Emmett's ass, right after he farts," I slur.

"I didn't pick dare," Alice says.

"Ugh, whatever, pussy." I grab onto the back of the couch and make a move to stand up.

"We're gonna need better music than this girly bullshit you like to play, Alice," I say condescendingly.

"Rude!" she yells.

"Girl's gotta point, Al," Rose agrees with me.

"How about 'Fuck Me Like You Hate Me,' by Seether?" Emmett asks.

"Uh…" I start to say, not really comfortable with that particular song.

_I do not want to fuck Edward tonight…right?_

"No, too cliché." Alice saves me.

"Rock or R&B, Bella?" Jasper asks.

"Whatever." I shrug.

"How about some Rihanna? Or is that _too_ girly for you?" Alice asks like a total crank.

"That's fine, Miss Poop-in-the-Pants," I say cheekily.

"Edward, my man, see that footstool over there?" I ask him, referring to the short footstool sitting against the wall by the media center.

"Yeah?" he asks hesitantly.

"Put it in the middle of the floor and sit down on it. Meet ya there in ten seconds," I say.

I chuckle and kick off my pink fuzzies.

I can't very well give him a lap dance on this lumpy couch. I'd end up tripping and maiming one of us. The footstool is the perfect height for me to be able to swing around him and do my business.

"It's kinda weird that you guys want to watch me give Edward a lap dance," I say.

"It's not like we're gonna watch you two have sex, it's just a lap dance, people watch people get them all the time," Emmett states confidently.

"You really need to stop watching _Show Girls_ my friend," I retort.

"Dude! He watches porn all of the time! He totally fucked up my laptop!" Alice shrieks.

"There is one condition to this dare, Bella?" Alice grins wickedly.

"What's that?" I ask, half listening to her and half not.

"Don't hold back," she replies daringly.

"Go big or go home, right?" I snicker.

I walk up behind Edward as Emmett starts the music. "Rude Boy" blares through the now turned-up stereo, and everyone settles in to watch the magic happen.

I put my hands on Edward's shoulders as I stand behind him and let my body rub against his back.

_He's gonna regret wearing sweatpants when I'm done with him._

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Can you get it up**

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Is you big enough**

**Take it, take it**

**Baby, baby**

**Take it, take it**

**Love me, love me**

I wink at Rose when she hollers at me to "take it off", and I move in front of Edward to focus solely on giving him the lap dance of the century.

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Can you get it up**

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Is you big enough**

**Take it, take it**

**Baby, baby**

**Take it, take it**

**Love me, love me**

Without looking him in the eye, I put my hands on his shoulder and nudge his legs straight out in front of him, so I don't end up riding his knees during the entire dance. We're in an awkward position, but I'm too stubborn to stop now. I start swaying my hips and rubbing my upper body against his chest seductively, slightly regretting doing this in a strapless dress.

**Tonight**

**I'm a let you be the captain**

**Tonight**

**I'm a let you do your thing, yeah**

**Tonight**

**I'm a let you be a rider**

**Giddy up, giddy up**

**Giddy up, babe**

He groans softly as I straddle his left leg. I drop down low and slide up slowly, trailing my hands up and down his body.

"Bella," he grunts when our cheeks press together. I softly bite his earlobe before I stand up straight and let my chest rub against his chin softly, still swaying my hips to the beat.

**Tonight**

**I'm a let it be fire**

**Tonight**

**I'm a let you take me higher**

**Tonight**

**Baby we can get it on**

**Yeah we can get it on**

**Yeah**

Reluctantly, I turn around and face the others as I bend my knees and rub my ass up and down Edward's crotch and lower abdomen. I'm seriously getting into it, and I'm not even the slightest bit concerned about being in a dress anymore. I feel Edward's erection underneath me, and it only spurs me on more. I throw my head back, resting it against his shoulder as I slide down as far as I can and back up the length of his body. Suddenly, he grips my hips tightly, and I have to pry myself from his grip, shaking a finger at him.

**Do you like it boy?**

**I wa-wa-want**

**What you wa-wa-want**

**Give it to me baby**

**Like boom, boom, boom**

**What I wa-wa-want**

**Is what you wa-wa-want**

**Na, na**

**Ah, ah**

I turn to face him and give him a sexy smirk as I slowly sit down on his lap, wrapping both legs around him. I bring my face up to his so our noses touch, and I whisper to him, "Hold my legs, 'kay?"

He grunts and nods at me, placing his hands firmly on my upper thighs, holding me in place. I let go of his shoulders and move my upper body to the beat, my entire torso rolling with the beat of the music, like an exotic belly dancer. As my torso moves, so do my hips, and I end up grinding against Edward as I slowly lay back, letting my lower body seductively glide toward the floor.

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Can you get it up**

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Is you big enough**

**Take it, take it**

**Baby, baby**

**Take it, take it**

**Love me**

**Love me**

Once my hair is fanned out across the floor, I bring myself back up to face Edward. I make sure to keep my lady bits in a PG-13 rated zone. I don't want to make this situation anymore uncomfortable than it probably already is for Edward.

**Tonight**

**I'm a give it to you harder**

**Tonight**

**I'm a turn your body out**

**Relax**

**Let me do it how I wanna**

**If you got it**

**I need it**

**And I'm a put it down**

When I've raised back up so we're face level, he moves his hands to my hips and jerks me against him forcefully. My breath stutters and I give him a devious look as I once again extract myself from his grasp.

**Buckle up**

**I'm a give it to you stronger**

**Hands up**

**We can go a little longer**

**Tonight**

**I'm a get a little crazy**

**Get a little crazy**

**Baby**

I sashay six or so feet away from him and drop down to my knees as I fling my hair around by doing a sexy version of a head bang. When I throw my head back and my hair flies behind me, I crook a finger at Edward, telling him to come hither.

**Do you like it boy?**

**I wa-wa-want**

**What you wa-wa-want**

**Give it to me baby**

**Like boom, boom, boom**

**What I wa-wa-want**

**Is what you wa-wa-want**

**Na, na**

**Ah, ah**

He slowly slips off the footstool and crawls over to me.

_Good boy._

He sits on his knees in front of me and I dance around him, making sure I don't touch him. I run my hands up and down my torso, teasing him and loving the fuck out of it. He growls and lets loose a low curse, which only serves to excite me more.

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Can you get it up**

**Come here**

**Rude boy, boy**

**Is you big enough**

**Take it, take it**

**Baby, baby**

**Take it, take it**

**Love me**

**Love me**

The chorus plays twice as I continue to sway and toss my hair around beside, in front of, and behind him. Finally, I grip onto his shoulders again, and I push him back so his knees slide out from under him. He's still sitting; he's just in a lower position, so I can stand with him closer to my chest-abdomen area.

**I like the way**

**You touch me there**

**I like the way**

**You pull my hair**

**Baby, if I don't feel it**

**I ain't faking**

**No, no**

**I like**

**When you tell me**

**Kiss it there**

**I like**

**When you tell me**

**Move it there**

I decide to put Edward out of his misery, knowing that I've teased him far too much already, and I place a soft kiss on his cheek before I pull away. We lock eyes, and his are fierce and full of desire. I bite my lip as I walk back over to my spot on the couch, finished with the dance.

**I like, when you tell me**

**Kiss it there**

**I like, when you tell me**

**Move it there**

**So get it up**

**Time to get it up**

**You say you're a rude boy**

**Show me what you got**

**Now**

**Come here right now**

**Take it, take it**

**Baby, baby**

**Take it, take it**

**Love me, love me**

_I'll never be able to listen to this song the same way again. _

Everyone is kind of stunned. They stare at me until the song ends. Thankfully, the switch in songs snaps everyone out of it, and Alice turns the music down with the stereo remote. Edward stands and quickly makes his way upstairs. The others busy themselves by moving around, looking for snacks, and using the restroom.

I'm surprised they want to continue playing, but I really shouldn't be. Emmett and Rose are horn-balls; they're probably just getting warmed up. I gulp at the thought and drink the fresh drink Rose has made me.

Alice throws my hair up in a messy bun, and then Edward finally makes his way back down to us, changed in a fresh pair of clothes and raring to go. He sits down on the other side of Jasper, directly across from me, and I sigh in relief. I'd much rather sit across from him than next to him. I feel like I can actually breathe, but I avoid eye contact for a while. I'm not sure what I'll find if I look.

Katy Perry's "E.T." starts to play quietly as we get settled in to continue our game.

"Edward, Truth or Dare?" Emmett asks.

I finally chance a look up at him, wondering what he'll decide.

"Dare," Edward replies, looking back at Emmett.

"I dare you to French kiss Bella," Emmett says without missing a beat.

Somehow, I knew he was going to dare him to do that. It still doesn't stop me from rolling my eyes at Emmett.

"Really? Haven't we subjected Edward to enough of me tonight?" I ask dismissively.

"I'll do it," Edward answers.

"What?" I ask, slightly panicked. Not in a _bad_ way. Just in an, _oh my God, I'm gonna shit my pants because a really hot guy is about to kiss me and I've had way too much to drink,_ sort of way.

"If it's okay with you, Bella, I'd like to accept the dare." His crooked grin is back, and it makes me glare at him.

"Of course you would. I hope you brought a change of pants," I taunt.

"Feisty. I like it." Emmett snickers.

"Something tells me I won't be the one who will need to change this time," Edward retorts cockily.

_I don't doubt that one bit, Pretty Boy. Not one bit._

"Let's see what you've got, Cullen," is my response.

He stands up and struts over to me; then he kneels down, so he's sitting on the floor in front of me.

"Scoot up here and spread your legs," he orders me.

"Yes sir!" I mock salute him as I scoot forward so I'm on the edge of the couch. He's leaning against me, between my legs, and our torsos are pressed slightly against one another.

"Pucker up, Swan." Edward smiles and moves in slowly. I chuckle softly and watch him as he moves in closer.

As our lips are about to touch, I move back a little and press my hand against his shoulder.

"Could somebody please play something other than this shitty shit?" I beg.

"I'll do it," Jasper says as he gets up and puts in his The Lost Trailers CD.

Their song "Underdog" starts to play, and I smile at the lyrics.

**They said you ain't got a prayer, a chance in you know where.**

**But I just didn't care, when I looked in your eyes.**

**You were a long shot from the start, an easy way to break my heart.**

**But as perfect as you are, you've gotta risk it all sometimes.**

"Ready?" Edward asks as he moves closer to me, cradling my face gently in his hands.

"Yeah," I whisper softly, and my eyes flutter closed as his breath fans across my face.

**I believe in the Underdog, who chases dreams and breaks down walls.**

**The shy kid who gets the prom queen, who's never been the star of anything.**

**Two lovers hitched at city hall, they've got each other so they've got it all.**

**Call me a dreamer—say I'm a little naïve, oh, but I believe—in the Underdog.**

As soon as our lips touch, my entire being breaks out in an inferno. The fire tingles through my body, and I jump slightly at the sensation.

We break apart for a second and look at each other. Matching expressions of bemusement are on our faces. Just as Emmett starts to protest about our short kiss, Edward and I latch onto one another again.

This time, there is nothing chaste about our kiss. My hands grip his shoulders tightly, and I hold him to me with my thighs against his sides. His hands move from my face to my hips as he pulls me tighter against him and swipes his tongue across my lips.

I moan softly and open my mouth a little for him. As soon as his tongue enters my mouth, I'm a goner. My hands fly up into the hair above his ears, and I pull him closer to me.

Our tongues continue to slide against each other as we remain in our heated embrace, completely forgetting about our surroundings. All I can focus on is how Edward makes me feel. Having his hands and mouth on me has got to be the best sensation I've ever felt in my entire life, and I never want it to stop.

When we're both breathing raggedly from the lack of oxygen, Edward moves his lips to my neck and trails heated kisses from below my ear down to the top of my chest. That's when someone decides to remind us where we are by clearing their throat…rather loudly.

"Fuck," Edward curses as he pulls back a little and looks at me. I'm fisting the material of his t-shirt, not willing to let go of him yet. It's like a switch has been flipped. Before I couldn't get far enough away from Edward. Now I want to crawl inside of him, and I still don't think it would be close enough.

"Game's over," Edward announces and prepares to snatch me up off the couch.

Rosalie has other plans, and she tells him that she needs to speak with him for a moment. Not thinking much of it, I sit back on the couch and relax.

Alice sits down beside me as Emmett and Jasper start picking up our cans, cups, and bottles we've accumulated since being down here.

Alice smiles smugly. "So, how was it?"

"What? Me practically dry humping your brother on a dare, or him orally molesting me on his?" I ask sarcastically.

"Both," she says.

I sigh and decide to be honest. "Fucking hot!"

She chuckles at that. "You're still drunk, aren't you?"

"Nah, just really relaxed," I mumble and shut my eyes.

"No painting the roses red tonight, Bella," Alice warns.

"I know, I know," I mumble as I stretch out against the back of the couch.

Somehow, I decided that "painting the roses red" would be code for "losing my virginity." Earlier I kept singing, No painting the roses red, no painting the roses red, like I was in some damn Alice in the Wonderland movie.

Luckily, Rose and Alice knew it was just my buzz starting, and it wasn't necessary to lock me up in a padded room.

Alice and I make our way to the kitchen for a couple of glasses of water before we make our way up to the guestroom. She helps me get ready for bed, making sure I don't fall and smack my head on anything along the way. She chuckles and gives me the side eye when she notices that I've slipped into her pink fuzzy slippers again.

"What? They're comfy!" I defend.

"Yeah, yeah." Cue the eye roll.

"Do you think you'll remember any of this tomorrow?" Alice's mood is suddenly somber.

"Yeah." I look into her eyes, wanting her to know and believe that I'm fairly sober now. "I'm only buzzing. I feel really calm."

"Good. Do you think you'll regret kissing Edward?" she asks hesitantly.

"Alice," I sigh. "It isn't about regretting anything. It's about protecting myself. Your brother is a player, a fact that he makes known…frequently. While my body might be screaming at me to jump him, my self-preservation is screaming at me to run away as fast I can. Does that make sense?" My voice is soft; I'm telling her the truth.

"It makes perfect sense, Bella. And while Edward may be a player—okay, yeah he's definitely a player—he's also my brother, and I know him better than anyone else. He wouldn't hurt you. I mean it when I say that this is different for him. I've never seen him try so hard before or even care for that matter. He does care for you, Bella. I just wish you'd give this a chance…whatever it is…between you two. I think you guys could be really great together. There's nothing I'd like to see more than for the both of you to be happy. And if that means you're happy together, well then I'd be…happier than a shopaholic on Rodeo Drive."

Cue _my_ eye roll.

"You lost me at shopaholic," I tease. Her eyes narrow and I know she's getting ready to chew my ass.

"I'm kidding, Ali. I know, and part of me wants to agree with you, but the other part of me is scared of the backlash. I've already dealt with so much as far as people at school go. I really don't want Edward to become a social pariah because he'd be with me. I just…I also don't want to be a secret, and I don't think he'd be comfortable being seen with me in public. People will talk, stare, and say things…" I shake my head and swallow against the lump in my throat.

"I can't do that to him, Ali." My voice is defeated. I stare at the floor and bite my lip.

"Why don't you let him decide, Bella? Be fair to him and give him a choice in this," she pleads.

"Maybe you're right," I say, unsure if I believe it or not.

"Sleep on it, babe." Alice kisses my forehead and heads toward the door.

She waits until I'm tucked under the heavy royal blue duvet before she flicks the light switch off and closes the door on her way out. I roll onto my left side so I can stare out the floor-to-ceiling-window at the vastly spreading forest. The sky is uncharacteristically clear tonight, so the moon is shining down on the backyard and trees. The way it bounces off the light dusting of snow we have so far makes it look like everything is covered in crystals and diamonds.

I smile to myself at what Edward would look like covered in it. Probably like some unearthly, beautiful, mythical creature.

I startle out of my thoughts and sit up in bed when I hear a soft knock on the door, and then it opens a crack.

"Bella?" a voice whispers.

"Yeah?" I reply.

"Can I come in?" the voice asks.

I look down at myself, noting that I'm only wearing a baggy t-shirt and panties. Alice and I decided that comfort should overrule style this evening, just in case I had a hangover in the morning.

I pull the comforter up above my chest and let out the breath I didn't realize I've been holding.

"Sure. Come on in, Edward."

_Lord, give me strength.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Mini Disclaimer: I still own nothing pertaining to Twilight, and I don't own any of these lyrics, either. Poor me. <strong>

**Authors Note: **

**Sorry about all of the lyrics, I intentionally left them out of the beginning because I added a lot in the actual chapter. **

**Sorry about the delay, real life has been hellish, to say the least. And I've been spreading myself pretty thin between four different writing projects, including this. I know, excuses are like assholes, everybody has one, and they all stink. **

**No story recs this time, just a rec for the Valentine's Day Countdown, which I am participating in. Check it out! Don't forget to read, review, and put it on story alert. :) There's gonna be some hot and steamy O/S's coming outta that one! lol **

**http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/7728398/1/Countdown_to_Valentines_Day_2012_Risque_VDay**

**Thank you to my two betas, whom I've lovingly been referring to as the Tiffanys. :) Thank you girls, you rock my socks. **

**Thank you, readers! I fluffy heart you, long time. Happy Valentine's Day! **

**xxoo,**

**Missy**


	14. Chapter 14: Heat & Temptation

"Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle."  
><em><strong>- <strong>__**Camille Paglia**_

* * *

><p>"It's you, it's you, it's all for you<br>Everything I do  
>I tell you all the time<br>Heaven is a place on earth with you  
>Tell me all the things you want to do<br>I heard that you like the bad girls  
>Honey, is that true?<br>It's better than I ever even knew  
>They say that the world was built for two<br>Only worth living if somebody is loving you  
>Baby, now you do"<p>

_**- Videogames, by:**_ _**Lana Del Rey  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14:<strong>

_**Heat & Temptation**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

As I pray for the Lord to give me strength, I know it won't last. Any resolve I might muster up before Edward fully enters the room is sure to fade as he gets closer to me.

And I'm correct.

As soon as he closes the door and walks up to the side of the bed, my nerves dissolve and I smile up at him.

"Sleep walking?" I joke playfully.

"Maybe. If I could sleep," he returns with a grin of his own.

"You haven't been in bed that long." I roll my eyes at him.

"Long enough to know that sleep isn't coming for me any time soon." His voice wavers on the line of serious and joking.

"I'll give your complaints to the Sandman then," I quip as I lay back and stare up at him.

"May I?" He gestures to the bed.

"Sure, but get in on the other side. This is my side." I mean business. No one gets to lay on my side of the bed but me when they share it with me.

"Fine. I prefer the other side anyway," he says and proceeds to crawl over me instead of walking to the other side and climbing in.

"Oof, you big oaf! You're squishing me!" I chide and shove him over to the other side of the bed.

His smile lights up his entire being, and he chuckles softly.

"Sorry." He doesn't mean it.

I'm tempted to smack him with a pillow, but I'm too afraid feathers will scatter around the room.

"Sure you are."

We lie in silence for a few moments. I stare up at the ceiling and leave him to his thoughts as I try to process my own.

_Why is he in here? _

_Does he think I'm going to sleep with him? Would I sleep with him if he asked me to? Probably. Ah, Bella you whore. Shut up. _

_Does he wanna spoon? _

_Am I gonna be the big or little spoon? _

I sneak a glance at him.

_I'd _definitely_ be the little spoon. _

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me from my random thought process.

"Uh…_spoons_?" I squeak.

His loud, throaty laugh makes me chuckle, too, and we don't stop until tears are leaking out of our eyes.

"Sorry. That was random. What were you thinking about?" I ask after our laughter subsides.

"Forks?" he says jokingly.

"Shut up, or I'll beat you to death with a feather pillow! Seriously, what were you thinking about?"

"You," is his simple response.

"What about me?" I ask with uncertainty.

"What would it take for me to convince you that I actually like you?" he asks instead of answering.

"I do believe that you like me. I just don't know how _long_ you'll like me, and I don't know if I can handle another broken heart right now."

I'm trying to be honest with him. I've had a really rough year—between moving out here and the accident—I don't know how much more my fragile heart, mind, or body can handle.

"No one can know how long a relationship will last before it starts. That's the beauty in the unknown. But I wouldn't play you, Bella. Something tells me that this…whatever this is, it's different with you. I can't explain it…but it is."

I sit up and face the end of the bed, making sure he can't see my expression when I talk to him. "Edward, I firmly believe that the only reason you want me is because you have to chase me. That's the only thing that makes me different from every other girl you've been with…aside from this." I move my arm up and down, gesturing to my body.

"Don't fool yourself into thinking this is more than just a mysterious chase for you, Edward." I shake my head as I talk, and I swallow hard as my throat starts to feel tight.

"That's where you're wrong, Bella." Edward sits up and turns to face me, looking down at me with piercing jade eyes. "Tell me you didn't feel the chemistry between us tonight when we kissed. Tell me you feel nothing for me—no spark, no tingle, nothing—and I'll leave you alone. Better yet, kiss me right now and tell me that you don't want to give this a chance, to see where this takes us. If you can, I'll back off," he dares me.

My heart pounds heavily in my chest, and I inconspicuously wipe my hands on the blankets I'm gripping tightly.

Averting my gaze, I state confidently, "Reverse psychology isn't going to work on me, Edward. I-" I'm cut off by his hand darting out in front of me as he grasps my chin gently.

"Edward, what the-" I'm cut off again as he leans in and presses his lips against mine.

His warmth envelopes me as he leans closer, kissing my lips softly. He tries to coax my mouth open with soft, velvety strokes of his tongue. It works. Before I realize I'm doing it, I'm parting my lips for him and allowing him to deepen the kiss.

His kisses taste like sunshine and a warm summer rain all at the same time. I sigh against his lips and revel in his flavor.

He groans softly against my mouth and gently lays me back on the bed as he leans over me, never breaking the kiss.

I feel like I'm floating on a cloud. All of my hesitant thoughts have drifted away and have been replaced with such a light feeling. I feel as though I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.

"Please," I whimper against his lips, not entirely sure what I'm asking for.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as his lips move to my cheek, down to my neck and throat.

"Tell me to stop, Bella, and I will. I'll give you anything you ask for," he murmurs against my skin and continues to trail heated kisses to the collar of my frumpy t-shirt.

"Don't stop," I beg as I press my head back into the pillows, allowing him more room to kiss my heated skin.

His fingers leave goose bumps in their wake as they travel up my arms and into my shirtsleeves slightly.

"I want to kiss and touch every inch of your body," he rasps before kissing my lips again.

I claw and tug at his t-shirt; I can't seem to get close enough to him. He leans up off me slightly, only long enough to tug it up over his head and toss it to the floor. My eyes drift from his blanket-covered waist, up his naked torso, to his face.

"You're beautiful," I whisper in a daze.

"Then you're exquisite," he murmurs reverently as he stares down at me.

I wiggle slightly, feeling self-conscious under his heated gaze.

"Don't hide, Bella. Please, don't hide from me anymore," he beseeches.

I'm sure my eyes are guarded as I stare up at him. My heart is screaming at me to believe him. My body is screaming for him. And my mind is telling me to run away. Which one am I supposed to listen to?

I reach up and touch his face softly, trailing my thumbs under his eyes, and then I softly brush one thumb down the bridge of his nose, and the other across his full bottom lip.

His skin warms under my hand, and it makes me smile to know that my touch affects him as much as his affects me.

"Do you promise not to hurt me?" I ask timidly, never breaking eye contact.

"I swear it, Bella. I'd never intentionally hurt you," he vows.

I believe him. I swear I do. I'm just…scared. Really scared.

I chew on my bottom lip, still afraid to take the leap. Afraid to give in to all of my feelings for him. Afraid of rejection, betrayal, the unknown.

"You promise?" I ask tentatively.

"I promise," he responds.

I remove my hands from his face and lay them gently at my side.

"Okay." I smile at him.

A disbelieving grin crawls up his face as he stares down at me.

"Okay?" he asks skeptically.

"Yeah, we'll give it a shot, see where it goes." Butterflies trample my tummy.

Even though the lights are off, I can still see his blinding smile.

"You're serious?" he asks, his grin infectious.

I playfully roll my eyes and look up at the ceiling. "Don't make me regret this, Pretty Boy."

Suddenly, his face fills my vision, and he presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes and squeeze his shoulders as I return the kiss.

He pulls away slightly and smiles at my pouty face.

"I won't let you regret this, beautiful girl," he promises and leans back down to kiss me passionately.

I grant him access when I feel his tongue swipe against my bottom lip.

He pulls away to trail heated kisses back down to my collarbone. Kissing, licking, and nipping at my flesh.

"_God_, I want you _so_ bad," he groans against my throat.

I throw my head back in ecstasy, and my body ignites with his bold words and his fevered touch.

"Then take me," I rasp without thinking my words through.

His lips leave my skin and I freeze, realizing what I just said and awaiting the rejection that's sure to come.

"Bella," he sighs, resigned.

"No, uh, that's not what I…just forget about it, Edward." I move to roll over, but he stops me by placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Look at me, please?" he implores.

I can't quite meet his gaze, so I settle for staring just below his eyes.

"_I want you_. Believe me, if I could I would throw caution to the wind right now and have my wicked way with you, but we can't do that. _I_ can't do that to you." His words seem sincere, but it doesn't make what he's saying hurt any less.

"What can't you do to me, exactly, Edward?" I ask, my voice wavering.

"Rosalie told me that you're a virgin, Bella."

_Holy. Fucking. Shit. _

I turn my head to the side, trying face the lamp beside the bed, the wall, anything other than looking up at him. Mortification is running rampant through my body, and I'm suddenly realizing I am way too sober to be having this conversation.

"Oh yeah?" is all I can say.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella. If I'm being honest here, I wish I still had something like that to give you. Understand this, Bella, I will never just _take_ that from you. If you decide…after we 'give this a shot' for a while, that you want to do _that_…I'd be honored. But I am not sleeping with you tonight." His voice is strong and sure.

I swallow loudly, still completely embarrassed and very unsure of what to do next.

_Does he even want to do anything with me tonight, or are we just going to kiss and possibly spoon?_

_What the fuck is up with me and spooning? _

"What are you thinking?"

I chuckle softly and whisper, "Spoons."

He laughs, too, and kisses my forehead. "Such a strange, beautiful, perfect girl."

Heat spreads through my body, and I worry my lip softly as I look up at him.

"So, you won't touch me at all tonight?" I ask, trying to play coy.

He stiffens and narrows his eyes at me. "You're playing with fire, Swan," he says huskily.

I bite my lip and bat my eyelashes at him. "Oh, I definitely wouldn't want to do that. Thanks for warning me, Cullen. Now, if things won't be skipping past PG, can we skip ahead to the spooning? I'm very interested in how all of that is going to pan out." My voice is sarcastic, and so is the smirk that I'm giving him.

"I don't think you'd be very comfortable if I spooned you right now, Bella," Edward says and looks down between us.

"I could spoon you?" I offer.

"Your feet would go up my butt," he deadpans.

"Asshole!" I slap his chest. "Is that a short joke?" I ask, insulted.

"No. That's a true observation. You're not meant to be the big spoon." He smiles at me.

"Fork you, Edward. Go to bed." I try to roll out from under him, but he pins me down gently by pressing some of his weight on me.

"Where you going, shorty?" He chuckles.

"Oh, it's like that?"

"Uh huh," he replies.

"Hmm…I see. Well if _that's_ how it's going to be," I say before sliding my hands up his shoulders and hooking my leg up against the side of his waist.

He gulps loudly, and his eyes flutter closed as I pull him down toward me, letting him rest more of his weight against me.

I lean up and bite his earlobe softly before saying, "I know I'm just a _little_ inexperienced virgin, but there's gotta be other things we could do, aren't there?"

My lips press against his ear and the side of his face as I talk, letting my warm breath wash against his skin.

He shudders, and I suddenly feel his hands grip my hips firmly.

"We shouldn't be doing this, Bella," he warns.

"Shouldn't be doing _what_, Edward? I thought you only wanted to _spoon_," I say innocently.

"You're making this a lot more difficult than it needs to be." He's clearly uncomfortable. I can tell he wants to shift against me by the tension in his body, but he's doing his best to keep his control. Much to my dismay.

I sigh and roll my eyes at him, giving up on any chance that he's going to touch me tonight.

"Tell ya what, why don't you go back to your room for a bit, and I'll run downstairs to get a drink. When you're done _beating around the bush_, we'll meet back up and spoon—or if you fall asleep, I'll just go to bed."

"I'm not going to go do that," he says, irritated.

"It's honestly none of my business, but I can tell you're frustrated. And considering we're on an unspoken 'no smexing touch' rule for this evening, I can't help you." I shove him away, and I crawl to the edge of the bed, only to feel his hands gently grab my hips.

I'm on all fours in front of him, and I'm unsure of how I should proceed. My heart is beating a mile a minute, and I can feel his body heat as he hovers over me.

"Edward?" I ask breathlessly.

"You have no idea how tempting you are, do you?" he rasps as he gently presses his length against me. I crave the friction, and I softly press myself back against him as I feel his cock press against my clit.

_Oh fuck._

_He's huge._

My head falls forward, and I grip the blankets tightly as I rock back into him again.

"Please," I beg. I can feel his resolve crumble as he leans into me a little more, fisting the blankets beside my hands.

"Tell me what you want, Bella," he rasps against my shoulder blade.

"You," I moan back, desperately craving more friction as I buck backwards with more force.

"I can't. Please, Bella. We can't…_do that_." His voice and breaths are choppy as he fights his urge to thrust his hips against me.

"Don't you want me?" I implore, as I continue to rub myself on him.

In a flash, he flips me over and hovers above me. My head hangs back slightly, halfway off the bed, and I feel him bring his hips down against mine, thrusting between my legs.

"Can't you feel how much I want you?" he grits out.

My shirt rides up each time he thrusts against me, and it bunches just below my chest. With my shirt out of the way, our bare stomachs graze against each other with each pass of his hips. The friction is delicious, but it's not firm enough to make me come undone.

I need more. I want more. I crave…_so_ much more.

He pulls me closer to him by my hips, and my shirt slides even further up my body. I'm lying completely on the bed now, just diagonally, with my head at the foot. I toss my head back and involuntarily arch my back as he thrusts harder against me, touching my sweet spot.

Before I realize it's happening, he tugs my shirt up to my chin, and his lips attach to my right nipple. I let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

"Please! Edward! Please touch me!" I'm begging now. I _have_ to have more; my body feels like it's going to spontaneously combust without his touch.

"Tell me what you want, baby." He breathes against my skin as his lips hover over my pebbled flesh. His breath only makes them harden more, and my body shudders as goose bumps ripple across my skin.

"Please," I whimper, feeling raw and vulnerable.

_Please don't let him reject me now…not when I've finally put myself out there. _

As the thought leaves my mind, Edward's hand loosens its hold on my hip, and he places both hands beside me on the bed.

"Sit up," he commands in a soft, husky voice.

I nod and sit up slowly, unsure of what is going to happen.

He grabs a hold of the bottom of my baggy shirt and lifts it up over my head slowly.

I shiver and cover my arms over myself, feeling insecure. I try to suck my stomach in as much as I can. I've never let a boy see me topless before, and I'm afraid that I might not amount to much compared to the countless girls Edward has probably seen naked before.

"Please, Bella, don't ever hide from me," he says softly as he gently straightens my arms, so he can see me entirely.

He trails the back of his fingers against my stomach softly, sliding his hand up between my boobs to my collarbone. He tilts my face up towards his, and our eyes meet.

"You're perfect." His voice sounds sincere, and my face blushes hotly.

I lean forward and grab a hold of his shoulders gently, pulling him toward me.

"You're too far away," I murmur, as I press my lips gently against his.

He lays me back down as he hovers over me, and he begins to press kisses from my lips down my throat, descending down to my stomach, which I've started sucking in again.

"Stop that," he scolds gently.

"Stop what?" I grunt, as I try to keep it held in.

"I don't know why you keep sucking your tummy in every time I get near it. You're beautiful."

_Well I sure as hell ain't gonna let it go when he's down there staring at me like that. There's nothing more sexy than watching your girlfriend bloat her stomach back up right in front of your face. _

_Wait a minute… What did I just say? 'er…think._

"What are we, Edward?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He moves up so we're face to face.

"Are we…uh…_together_ now? Exclusive?" I ask hesitantly, afraid I might scare him off.

"Well, I don't want you to be with anyone else," he says adamantly.

"Pretty sure I'm not the one who should be worried." I roll my eyes at him.

"What do you mean?" He looks confused.

"Forks's finest, excluding _you_—of course," I say and wink at him before I continue, "are not exactly beating down my door. You, on the other hand, have a bit of a…fan club."

_A trampy fan club._

"I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt you, Bella. I only want to be with you, but I need you do believe me, otherwise we aren't going to work. As far as your question goes, yeah we're exclusive." The corner of his lip turns up in that crooked smile I know and love, and I can't help but smile back at him.

"Now, are you going to tell me where you want me to touch you, or am I going to have to find out all on my own?" He smiles wickedly down at me.

"Let's play hot or cold," I offer.

He chuckles and places his hand on my shoulder. His eyes meet mine in askance and I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Freezing."

He grins again and slides his hand down my side.

"Cold." I shiver.

His hand rests on my tummy, and he looks up at me again.

"Luke warm," I whisper, breathless. My heart is beating a mile a minute, and I can barely stop myself from trembling in anticipation.

He trails the tip of his fingers against the top of my panties while he looks up at my face. My eyes flutter for a second and then close entirely. I bite my lip to keep myself from moaning, and I feel his hand slowly slip into my panties. His fingers gently slip into the promised land, and I throw my head back as I try to spread further for him.

"Now?" he rasps as he slowly slides his fingers back and forth, caressing my heated flesh.

"Hot!" I moan loudly. "So, so _fucking_ hot."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I love you all, and thank you sooo much for sticking with me on this. I know I've been slacking, there's no good excuse. Just...life has been hellish, frantic, and busy.

At least things are finally starting to heat up between these two? Yes? Yes.

See you next time.

xxoo,

Missy


	15. Chapter 15: Safe & Sound

Previous chapter:

_**-Bella POV-**_

His fingers gently slip into the promise land and I throw my head back as I try to spread further for him.

"Now?" he rasps as he slowly slides his fingers back and forth, caressing my heated flesh.

"Hot!" I moan loudly. "So, so _fucking_ hot."

* * *

><p>"I felt an angel's possessing grip, the flames rising from your skin, the shadow of the divine."<p>

_**- Edward Hirsch  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>"I remember tears streaming down your face<br>When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
>When all those shadows almost killed your light<br>I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
>But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight<p>

Just close your eyes  
>The sun is going down<br>You'll be alright  
>No one can hurt you now<br>Come morning light  
>You and I'll be safe and sound"<p>

_**- Safe and Sound, by: Taylor Swift & The Civil Wars**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15:<br>****Safe & Sound **

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Edward POV-<strong>_

"Hot! So, so _fucking_ hot," she simpers. It makes me want rip off the rest of our clothes, say "fuck it," and have my way with her, but I know I can't. I can't take that away from her when we've only just now gotten out of our own ways, and she's been drinking, so I'd hate myself if she regretted it.

When I first had sex, it hadn't been anything special. I was seeing this girl, Vicky, for a few months back in Seattle, and eventually we decided we were ready to do it.

At the time, we both thought it was just the natural progression in our relationship; plus, I wasn't the first guy she had been with. After we slept together, she wanted to do it all the time, and she became really needy and clingy. Considering the fact I was only a freshman in high school, I wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship. A couple of weeks after we had slept together, she broke up with me for her ex, James. I was relieved. I know it sounds bad, but Vicky was starting to drive me nuts.

Now I'm lying here with this amazing, gorgeous, and sexy little vixen beneath me. She really has no idea what she does to me…hell, what she does to people in general. Her amazing hunger for life and will to survive are only a couple of things I admire about her; along with her strength, kindness, and quick wit. She captivates me. At first, I, like she does, thought I was only into her because she was different. But that isn't the case at all.

The day of the accident, when I saw her bloodied and barely holding onto life while her best friend lay dead in the seat next to her… I can't explain what thoughts went through my head.

All I could think was, "_Not her, too_". God could not take her. Not yet. Not when I knew how much her family needed her, how much our friends needed her…how much I needed her. I needed someone like her to make me open up my eyes and pull my head out of my ass. She helped me wake up…_grow_ up. She's slowly making me a different person—a better person.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm totally cured, that I'll never be a prick again, because that would be a damn lie. I'll have my moments, but I'm human, and I meant what I said when I told her that I'll never intentionally hurt her. Bella is very important to me.

When I glance down at her, I grin and kiss her collarbone gently as my fingers continue to rub her clit.

Her facial expressions and the sounds she makes drive me insane, but my previous train of thought helps to rein in my sexual deviancy, and it reminds me of why I cannot take Bella's virginity tonight.

I want to take this slow…well…maybe not slow, but we're _not_ having sex tonight.

She bends her knees and spreads herself further for me. I can't help but thrust slightly against her as my fingers trail lower and slowly slide inside her heat.

"Oh God," I groan. My entire body trembles as I resist the urge to thrust my fingers inside of her.

My thumb grazes her clit, and I slowly slide one more finger into her tight entrance. I make circular motions with my thumb as she writhes against me.

"Yes," she hisses and thrusts her hips up against my hand.

I lean back on my knees and slide her panties down her legs quickly. The pleasure she's feeling from my hand distracts her as I finish stripping her down, and I attach my mouth to her left nipple.

I move my hand to cup her other breast, and I squeeze it and rub my thumb over her nipple as I slide my tongue down her body, dipping it into the curve of her right hip.

Looking down, I see my fingers gliding in and out of her, and it causes a white-hot fire of pleasure to surge through me. The need that I have for her is so primal; I've never wanted anyone like this before.

I place soft, wet kisses against the inside of both of her thighs, and then I swipe my tongue across her clit, replacing my thumb.

Her hips buck into my face, and she lets out the most erotic, breathy sound I've ever heard. It spurs me on, making me pull my fingers from her completely, only to spread her wide open and bury my tongue inside of her. Her legs are quivering, so I grab them and throw them both over my shoulders, using the leverage to work her from an even better angle. She's panting heavily and chanting my name over and over as she gets closer to coming.

When she finally does reach her release, her entire body goes rigid, and her back arches so far off the bed she looks like she's having an out of body experience. Her taste is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

I begin to slow my motions, letting her come down softly from her post-orgasmic high.

"Uh," she stutters and breathes heavily as I crawl up to rest beside her.

"Yeah." I sigh and can't help but grin at her dopey expression.

"Wow," she exclaims after a moment.

I chuckle and brush a strand of hair away from her face.

"How do you feel, beautiful girl?" I ask as I kiss her shoulder.

"Uh, like lead? 'Er…Jello? I don't know. I came so hard I almost cried." She slaps her forehead—probably to stop her rambling— and she looks up at me sheepishly.

"I'm a fucking idiot," she whispers and laughs softly.

"Only sometimes." I smile.

"Ass!" She laughs and rolls over to face me, draping a leg over mine.

She leans up and begins kissing my face, my mouth, down my body. I grasp her shoulder and shake my head at her to stop her downward travels.

"Not tonight," I murmur as I lean up and kiss her softly.

"Don't you want to…" She trails off and nods at my tented sweatpants.

"More than you can imagine, but not tonight. We'll get to it." I smile at her.

"You're sure?" She's uncertain, and she looks slightly dejected.

"I want to do this right. We'll get there; trust me, Bella. We don't need to rush into it."

"Okay," she says hesitantly and moves toward the edge of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going, little missy?" I ask her playfully.

"I need to clean up. You made a mess," she scolds playfully and throws her t-shirt over her head as she walks toward the bathroom.

I debate taking care of myself while she's in the bathroom, but I decide against it.

Instead, I quickly run to my bathroom to freshen up. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and use the restroom.

When I step out of my bathroom, I halt in my tracks as I see Bella kneeling in the middle of my bed.

My mouth feels dry, and I feel myself twitch slightly with the urge to lunge at her.

"I was just on my way back," I say after a few moments.

"I wanted to see your room," she explains.

"And? What do you think?" I ask after she doesn't continue.

"It's nice. For a boy," she answers and smiles as she glances around the room.

I look around my room, trying to picture everything through her eyes. My gaze momentarily sticks to my leather couch in the corner, and I imagine sitting on it with her, her straddling me as I plow into her. I quickly avert my stare and look back at her.

She follows my gaze and smirks at me.

"Sorry, but no," she says without me saying anything.

"No, what?" I ask, taken off guard.

"You're not fucking me there," she replies.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Leather. Yuck. We'd stick to it naked." She looks like she has a bad taste in her mouth.

"Who says we'd have to be naked?"

"Good point." She nods.

I saunter over to her and gauge her reaction as I kneel on the bed and crawl towards her.

"Lose the shirt," I say as I nip on her full bottom lip.

"Lose the pants," she returns and smiles wickedly at me.

"Bella," I warn.

"No sex, just...a little spoon action. C'mon, you won't keep telling me no, will you?" She sticks out her bottom lip and looks adorably pouty.

I exhale against her skin and roll my eyes at her. At this point, she knows she's won, and she giggles as she throws her shirt off and crawls beneath my covers.

"It's kind of surreal isn't it?" she asks after a moment.

"What is?" I ask.

"This morning you were trying to jump my bones, and now it's completely reversed." The sarcasm is dripping from her statement, and if I could see her face, she would probably be the one rolling her eyes right now.

"This morning, I didn't know you were a virgin," I murmur against her hair as I slide up behind her, effectively spooning her. I've taken off my sweatpants, and am left in just a pair of boxer-briefs, and all she's wearing is her panties. The skin of her back pressed against my chest feels like Heaven, and I can't help but smile contentedly.

I rest my head on my left arm and wrap my right around her, rubbing my fingers up and down her soft stomach and up to lightly pinch her nipples. She responds immediately by pressing herself against me, grinding her ass against my now-throbbing cock. I squeeze and knead her flesh as she becomes more responsive, pressing herself harder against me and tilting her head back, trying to get as close to me as possible.

"God I want you so fucking bad," I grit out against her throat as I nip and kiss it. I use my left hand to pull her closer and play with her chest as my other hand slips down and cups her pussy over her panties.

"You're so wet for me already. Aren't you, baby?" I growl as she moans loudly, and I push her panties aside to trail a finger through her dripping folds. Her thighs tighten around my arm, and I can't have that, so I withdraw my hand and roll her over onto her back.

I spread her legs and move between them as I kiss and suck on her skin hungrily, nipping at her neck, collarbone, and chest as I thrust my cock against her, reveling in the friction it brings.

"Yes," she pants over and over, thrashing and grabbing at my shoulders and arms.

"Please," she begs. She tries to wrap her legs around me, but I pull back just far enough, where her short legs can't reach to grip me.

The frown on her face would be funny if her eyes didn't look like she was going to rip my cock off and force feed it to me.

"Bella, we can't have sex tonight." My voice trembles with the effort it takes me to pull away from her. She has to know what she's doing to me. I'm hard enough to cut glass right now, and I want her more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything.

But I _can't_ sleep with her tonight.

"You're right. I'm sorry I keep pushing it." She crawls out from under me and steps off the bed to retrieve her shirt. As she slips it on, I'm completely confused about where her sudden show of strength came from, and I frown as I watch her make her way to the door.

"Where are you going? We can still spoon," I call to her before she reaches out and grips the door handle. She turns back to look at me, and I can't read her expression. It almost looks blank, except there's a wicked glimmer in her eye, and my heart speeds up as I wait for her response.

"Well, I seem to be pushing your limits too fast too soon, so I'm going to go hop in the shower and take care of some business, so I can maybe get some sleep. I'll leave you to yours. Have a nice night, Stud." Her voice gets low and seductive at the end, and it leaves me completely stunned as she steps out of my room and into her own.

I would go after her, but I hear her lock click just after she closes her door, and with my cock-blocking behavior tonight, I highly doubt she's going to let me in anyway.

If my cock wasn't in pain before, it definitely is now thinking about her naked and taking care of herself in the shower. All I can think about is her defiling the detachable showerhead and then falling into bed wet, naked, and sated…and it having absolutely nothing to do with me.

_Fuck!_

I fist my hair tightly and groan as the mental images surge through my thoughts of the past hour or so.

Of three things I am absolutely certain.

Bella swan is unlike any other girl I've ever known.

She's got a temper and a drive that rival mine.

And something tells me that once I finally have her, I'll never be able to quit her. I'm already addicted to her.

I take a page from Bella's book and rush to my adjoining bathroom, stripping off my boxers and turning the water to warm. When I step under the scalding spray, I jerk myself harder than I ever have and I come in under a minute, thinking of her little, perfect body bouncing against mine as I impale her against the shower wall.

"Fuck," I groan as I come and spurt all over the wall and floor. I clean up and finish washing myself off before I wrap myself in a towel and fall into bed.

Little Miss Bella Swan is the first and last thing I think of as I fall asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! My betas say it's full of UST, but I hope it's not too bad. We'll progress further next time - and I do mean the plot, but maybe the smut, too. ;)  
><strong>

**. . . . . . .**

**_Rec time:_  
><strong>**Something delicious to subscribe to: Fagetastic 4 aka FAGE4 **

**_www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/community/Fagetastic_Four/98339/_**

This is a series of stories that will be posting in June by various authors. FAGE stands for Fandom Author Gift Exchange (I believe I got it right.) and a group of people submit requests that they'd love to see other authors in the fandom(s) write. They submit a prompt/couple pairing/picture/etc...and an author recieves it and writes it for them in secret. When the time us up - ie: June 15th, all authors will have their stories revealed/posted and everyone will be able to view them.  
>You'll have a variety of interesting and eclectic stories to read. Some continue on as multichaps, some stay as OS's. All will be fun and amazing! Quite a few different fandoms are involved - ie: Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, Harry Potter, Buffy, Glee, etc... So head on over and subscribe! I promise you won't be dissapointed!


	16. Chapter 16: Mercy

"A man gazing on the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."  
><em><strong>- <strong>__**Alexander Smith**_

* * *

><p>"I don't know what this is<br>but you got me good  
>just like you knew you would<p>

I don't know what you do  
>But you do it well<br>I'm under your spell

You got me beggin' you for mercy  
>Why won't you release me<br>You got me beggin' you for mercy  
>Why won't you release me<br>I said you better release me, yeah"

_**- Mercy, by: Duffy**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter <em>16:<em>**  
><em><strong>Mercy<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

I roll over in bed and throw my arm out as the last vestiges of sleep release me. I let out a loud yawn as I stretch my limbs so hard they quake. Afterwards, I sigh contentedly and burrow back under the sheets.

I have yet to open my eyes and don't plan to for at least another hour or so.

_I am beat. _

I move onto my side and hug the comforter tight against my chest, I trail my fingers against an unfamiliar pattern in the fabric. My brows crease. I don't remember this texture on my duvet, so I open my eyes to scan my surroundings.

I calm slightly when I remember that I'm at Alice's house, and I'm sleeping in the guest room.

_I've gotta stop forgetting where I fall asleep. _

I roll onto my back and push errant strands of hair off my face as I glance out the line of windows that covers the wall space to my right.

A large blend of orange, red, and green greets me as I stare out at the vast landscape behind the Cullen's property. Autumn is in full bloom, and the grass is littered with fallen leaves.

As beautiful as the spring and summer lush greenery is, Autumn is so much better. There's a crisp quality to the air, and if you open your senses enough to it, you can smell the change in season.

I smile as the coveted rays of the sun peek through the clouds and warm my skin slightly.

I realize that there is far too much light in this room for me to get back to sleep, and I really don't want to waste such a beautiful day, so I push the comforter down my body and begin to climb out of bed.

I yawn again and feel a less than desirable pounding in my head, and my mouth feels extremely dry, almost like the entire Arizona desert has been poured inside it.

Flashbacks of the night before flood back into my conscious, making me stop cold.

Drinking…_a_ _lot_.

Emmett and me dancing.

All of us playing that stupid game.

Me dancing _on_ Edward.

The kiss…

Alice's slippers…

_What the hell did I drink? Was I roofied?_

Edward sneaking into my room…

_Oh, holy fuck! _

Before I can evaluate the situation, I'm flying out of the room and down the stairs to the second level of the house. Throwing caution to the wind, I hurl Emmett's door open and immediately slap my hand over my eyes as Emmett's bare ass comes into view.

"Oh my God!" I wail, praying and wishing that I could rewind time for like…thirty seconds.

Maybe longer.

"Morning, Bella," he replies. His voice is gruff with sleep, and he seems unfazed by the fact that I've just barreled into his room while he's naked.

I carefully maneuver myself through his room to the other side of his bed, my hand still firmly covering my eyes. I curse every time I bump into something, and I scowl when I hear Em and Rose chuckling at me.

_I'm glad I amuse them. Fuckers._

"Emmett, for the love of all that is holy, will you please cover your ass so I can talk to Rose…_and possibly hide from Edward because he sorta snuck in my room last night_," I hiss quickly.

"Repeat that last part," Rose says as she reaches out and tugs my hand from my eyes.

And there's Emmett's bare ass again. I swear he's doing this on purpose.

"Ahh! Emmett! Seriously, put a cover on your moon, man!" I bellow.

His laugh is deep; it sounds like it's coming straight from his belly, and he rolls over and tugs a stray sheet over himself.

Rosalie snaps her fingers in front of my face and looks at me expectantly.

"Please tell me you didn't paint the roses red!" she demands.

"Come again?" I reply, confused.

"Say what?" Emmett interjects.

"You know…" Rose is still waiting for me to catch on…and I really don't have the slightest idea.

"Paint the roses red?" I ask, still fucking dumbfounded.

"Did you fuck him, Bella?" she huffs.

"Oh!" Emmett lies back against the pillows only to shoot back up and give me an expectant look. "Did you?" he asks too.

"Rosalie, you are so crass," I respond as I roll my eyes. I go to sit down and then think better of it. The condition of Emmett's bed—scratch that, his bedroom—is absolutely filthy.

"Uh, is there any surface in this room that Emmett's bare ass _and or_ testicles haven't touched?" I ask, avoiding Rosalie's blatant, fiery glare for a moment.

"Probs not," Emmett replies with a chuckle.

"_Ew_… I'm gonna go hide in Alice's room. It smells better in there." I turn to go and feel Rosalie's hand grip my right wrist tightly as she yanks me onto the bed with her.

"Ahhhhhhh! Mother fucker!" I yelp and scramble around, trying to get off the bed without coming into physical contact with Emmett or his soiled sheets.

Rosalie holds me down and tickles me, not doing a damn thing for my bladder.

"I haven't _peed_ yet!" I cry, fighting against her and still trying to keep myself from being contaminated.

She imitates a fake, evil laugh and continues to dig her long, well-manicured fingers into my sides.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Edward! Alice! Jasper! Anyone besides these two unsanitary assbags!" I call out, praying someone hears me and comes to rescue me.

I see a flash and hear camera sounds, only to look up and find Emmett taking pictures with his camera phone of Rose and me wrestling.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yell.

I'm still trying to fight Rose off, but I falter slightly when I see him snapping picture after picture of us.

"Dude, I have two hot girls going at each other in my bed. In their PJs no less. I need to seize the opportunity," he says in a matter of fact way.

"Fuck my life," I groan as I start kicking my legs, trying to kick Rose in the crotch or ass, anything to get her off me.

When I realize no one is coming to save me, I go into Def Con 5 mode.

"_Edward! Help! Rape! Edward, help me!" _I yell as loudly as I can, knowing if anyone is going to help me, it's probably him.

I continue to yell until my throat gets scratchy and my skin is slick with perspiration.

Suddenly, Rosalie is picked up into the air and tossed to the other side of the bed. When I look up, Edward is standing above me with a triumphant look on his face.

Rational thought leaves my mind as I stare up at him. All I can think about is pulling him down on top of me and fucking the ever loving shit out of him.

Then I snap back to reality and remember where I am, more importantly the grossness that I am currently laying on, and the reason I came in here in the first place.

First, I'm on Emmett's bed. _Yuck!_

Second, I was supposed to be _hiding_ from Edward because I'm embarrassed since I practically begged him to screw me last night.

No, wait a minute — I'm _pretty_ _sure_ I _did_, indeed, ask him to have sex with me last night.

"Hi," I squeak and clear my throat nervously. "Good morning, Edward," I whisper softly.

"Morning, Bella," he says with a smile and gently tugs me by my legs to the end of the bed.

Internally, I cringe at the fact that my body is sliding across Emmett's bed, but I breathe a sigh of relief when Edward tugs me up into a sitting position in front of him.

Before I can get off the bed, he places his hand against my shoulder to stop me.

"What exactly are you doing in Emmett's bed?" he asks, slightly amused.

"Uh." I am so eloquent. My mind goes blank as I try to think of a decent excuse for my whereabouts, but it suddenly floods with hundreds of useless explanations.

I got lost.

I had a nightmare.

I had to pee.

I was looking for something.

_Get it together, Bella, you idiot!_

"I was looking for Rose?" I ask more than tell, hoping he buys it.

"She was hiding from _you_," Rose pipes up.

_Fuck. You. Rosalie Lynn Hale!_

"Don't be ridiculous. If I were hiding from Edward, why would I call out his name?" I ramble quickly and roll my eyes for affect.

"That's what _she_ said," Emmett retorts and chortles.

I slap my forehead at Emmett's stupidity and turn to glare at Rosalie. Hoping she'll get the hint and shut up.

"What did you and Bella do after hours last night, Edward?" she asks him pointedly.

"Is anyone else thirsty?" I ask loudly, hoping to divert the conversation.

"A little bit," Emmett agrees, and I can hear him smack his lips and tongue a bit.

"Answer the question," Rosalie demands heatedly, taking on a somewhat aggressive demeanor.

"For one thing, it's really none of your business, Rosalie. And I'm sorry I dragged you into this, and if you're asking if we" —I motion between Edward and myself— "_bumped uglies_, the answer is _no_. So don't get your panties in a twist."

"Damn it," Emmett curses. "I was really hoping you two would hook up this weekend. Plus, I bet Jasper twenty bucks…" He trails off, and his gaze snaps up to Edward and me. "Whoops."

"Dumbass," Edward growls in Emmett's direction at the same time Rosalie reaches out and slaps him in the back of the head.

Emmett looks properly chastised and puts on his best pouty face.

Puppy dog eyes included.

"What? We bet on _everything!_ What's wrong with us betting on Bella and Edward having sex? You know they're going to anyway."

I roll my eyes as I feel my cheeks heat as I avoid Edward's gaze.

"Awkward," I mutter lowly and attempt to hop off the bed again.

This time, Edward scoops me up and throws me over his shoulder. I squeal loudly and feel the firm blow of his shoulder bumping against my stomach, knocking the wind out of me and making my bladder ache.

"Oh my God! Put me down! I have to pee!" I shriek, praying he takes my advice and puts me down.

Instead, he changes the position he's holding me into bridal style and strides toward the door.

"I told ya they were gonna do it," Emmett quips as we reach his open door.

"It's nice to hear that my virtue is only worth twenty bucks to you, Emburgler," I call back to him.

"Pshht. Yeah, right, your virtue is probably with some poor, lovesick puppy back in the sandbox, Beez," Emmett replies cockily.

"You are _so_ wrong, _Sucka_!" I shout back as Edward continues carrying me, heading back up the flight of stairs to the third level.

"Uh, where are you taking me exactly?" I swallow hard and look up at him hesitantly.

"To the bathroom, and then we're going to have a chat," Edward replies.

"Uh, I appreciate the help and all, but I can take myself to the bathroom," I begin, but then he interrupts me.

"I'm dropping you off there, but you're going to use my bathroom, so I know you won't just lock me out and hop in the shower to avoid me."

_Damn it. _

"I am _not_ avoiding you." I roll my eyes.

_Lie. _

He quirks a skeptical brow and tosses me down on his bed. As I bounce around ungracefully, I scowl in his direction and rush to the bathroom.

After quickly taking care of business, I flop the toilet seat down and stand on it so I can lean across the counter to wash my hands. Edward's bathroom cabinets are abnormally tall, and I can't reach to turn the faucet on from standing on the floor.

After washing my hands, I grab his tube of toothpaste and squirt some on my finger, thoroughly scrubbing my teeth with it before leaning over to rinse my mouth and finger.

"I should hop in your shower just to spite you," I yell out as I hop off the toilet lid.

"If you do, I'm coming in there with you," he warns from the other side of the closed door.

_Cue drool. Abort, Bella! Abort mission. Quick, think of a diversion topic. _

"Jeesh, what are you doing? Listening to me go to the bathroom? You creep! What if I was taking a duke?" I rant as I swing the door open forcefully to find a guilty-looking Edward standing before me.

"A _what_?" he asks, amused.

"A shit, Edward. A frickin' crap," I reply, exasperated.

He starts laughing hysterically, and I huff as I stomp past and go into the bedroom.

I may or may not have stomped down on his foot as I passed by.

He stops laughing abruptly, and when I look back, he has a slight scowl on his face.

_Haha, sucka!_

"I'm sowwie, wittle Eddie. Did I give you a boo boo?" I ask him mockingly.

He gets a mischievous glint to his eye as he sneers at me and stalks in my direction.

"You really shouldn't have done that," he says darkly.

"I'm not afraid of you," I respond, tilting my chin up in defiance.

"You should be," he growls as he swoops down toward me, lifting me up in the air and slamming me down onto his bed. The force from the slam causes him to topple down on me, so between my squeals and peals of laughter and his loud chuckles, we're both gasping for breath.

A moment passes as we get our bearings and then we realize what a compromising position we're in. Edward's eyes darken as he braces himself above me, and I want nothing more than to flip him over and straddle his sweatpant-covered length.

However, I no longer have the liquid courage from last night running through my veins, so I know I'm too much of a chicken to make the first move. I simply lie there and stare up at him, trying to read his thoughts.

I don't have to wait long, though, because suddenly his face dips down to my neck, and he begins to suckle and nip at my flesh.

"Fuck," I groan out as I grip his shoulders tightly, pulling him closer to me.

"I want you so fucking bad," he grunts against my skin and grips my breasts roughly in his hands as he begins thrusting his hips between my legs.

My skin feels white hot, and I'm tingling everywhere. My stomach feels tight, and I'm struggling to take a deep breath as I try to savor the sensation of being with Edward like this.

I feel his mouth crash down on mine, and it's not so much romantic as it is needy. Our teeth scrape against each other, and our lips will definitely be red and swollen later, but I couldn't care less.

"Please," I beg against his lips as he thrusts harder against me. I'm completely blitzed out and am loving losing myself in him. He takes me places I've never been, and he makes me feel worshipped, adored even.

I've never felt this way before.

His strong hands grip my thighs and spread my legs wider as he thrusts harder against me. He grunts against my skin with each thrust, and my body trembles deliciously as pleasure ripples through me.

"Please touch me, Edward!" I cry out, needing more, more, more.

I feel his grip slacken on my thigh as he trails his fingers up the inside of my leg, and he gently strokes the line of my inner leg, on the edge of my panties.

"Quit fucking teasing me!" I demand and reach down to cup him roughly over his sweatpants.

"Bella!" he roars and roughly tugs my panties to the side as he slips two fingers between my folds.

"Yes," I hiss out as his thumb strokes my clit, and he slides the other two fingers inside of me. He's gentile and doesn't plunge his fingers all of the way, softly teasing me.

I slip my hand inside his sweats and pull his dick free. Stroking it up and down, I revel in its size and smoothness.

"Fuck yes," he pants as I speed up my movements, wanting him to be as close as I am to free falling.

I whimper when his fingers slip out of me, but I almost combust when I watch him bat my hand away and stroke his length with my wetness.

I'm so far gone right now and desperate for release. I grip my tits firmly and squeeze them as I look up at him wantonly.

He growls at me and tugs the hem of the t-shirt up over my head so I'm lying below him in only my wayward panties.

My hands quickly return to my chest, and I squeeze it and tug roughly at my nipples as my eyes close.

I pull my legs inward, closer to my body as I try to rub them together to find the friction I'm so desperately craving.

"Touch your pussy," Edward instructs, his voice rough.

"No." Opening my eyes and staring straight into his, I challenge him.

"No?" he asks, slightly taken aback.

"_You_ touch my pussy," I instruct and hold his gaze.

His gaze is smoldering, and I see the immediate change in his demeanor.

"With what, Bella? My fingers, tongue, or cock?" he asks seductively.

_All of it! _I want to scream, but I can't. I'm completely speechless. The thought of his cock being buried to the hilt inside me drives me wild, and I find myself wanting to devour every single inch of him.

"Oh please," I sigh and continue to squeeze my breasts.

Edward moves his face down and buries it in my chest, nipping, licking, and sucking my flesh.

"I want to fuck your pretty little pussy so bad, Bella," he grits out against my skin as he trails his mouth down my body and buries it between my thighs.

"Oh, yes!" I cry out and buck my hips against his talented tongue. He flattens it between my folds and slides it upward, flicking my clit harshly as he reaches the top of my slit. His fingers hold me open for him as he holds my panties off to the side and continues to forcefully lick, kiss, and suck on my heated flesh.

"Please! Yes. Oh yes, Edward!" I scream as my toes curl and an earth-shattering orgasm tears through me.

His tongue makes a few more passes at my now sensitive flesh before I feel his fingers hook into my panties and slowly wiggle them down my hips.

He trails kisses up my body and buries his face in my neck as he whispers, "Relax, I just want to feel you."

My hands softly stroke up and down his arms, and I use my feet to push his pants down his hips.

They join my panties on the floor after he kicks them off, and I watch as he grips his cock and softly presses it between my folds.

"Unf." I mewl as I feel him slip against my clit.

He applies more pressure and continues to slide his length back and forth through my wetness.

We both buck our hips into one another, and we start building a good rhythm. His hand releases his cock as it continues to rub against my sex without going inside, and he grips my hips tightly, yanking me toward him as we yearn for more friction.

My second orgasm suddenly rips through me, and I arch my back, trying to prolong the sensation while searching for a better angle for his cock to reach my clit. My movement causes Edward to falter slightly, and when he thrusts upwards, his cock suddenly slips deep inside of me.

I cry out as I feel his girth stretch me painfully, and he groans loudly, momentarily lost in the sensation of being inside of me.

I hold deathly still, my body trying to fight the enormous intrusion as I pray that Edward will come to his senses.

I close my eyes as they blur with tears, and I bite my lip. I try to hold in the whimper from the uncomfortable sensation of his girth stretching me.

I inhale shakily, trying to breathe through the pain. Suddenly he retreats from me, pulling out and away from me like he's been burned.

"Oh God! Bella, I'm so sorry." His voice is trembling and gritty, and I feel like if I don't get out of here soon, I'll break down.

"'s okay," I say softly as I slowly move toward the edge of the bed.

"No, it's not. I hurt you," he says in a strained voice.

"I'm alright," I grit back, throwing the shirt over my head and standing quickly.

"Bella, please," he begs, softly grabbing my wrist and turning me toward him.

Both my arousal and blood coat his erection, and I swallow back bile at the sight of it.

I'm angry with myself for being so careless, for allowing myself to go to this level with a boy who absolutely terrifies me and gets under my skin.

"Please, Bella, you know that I'd never intentionally hurt you. Don't you?" He isn't crying, but his eyes are red and glazed like he could at any moment, and his sincerity is undeniable.

"I know, Edward. I'm not mad at you. I just didn't think it would hurt that bad…or that it would even happen today. I wasn't prepared for it, and I'm mad at myself for getting lost in…what we were doing." I try to explain without hurting his feelings.

"I honestly am not angry, and I'm not blaming you. I just need time to think," I add after a moment.

He nods but still has a pained expression on his face. His voice is quiet. "I understand what you're saying. Take all of the time you need."

"Thank you."

I turn for the door and stop when I hear him speak again.

"Bella?" He sounds a little nervous.

"Yeah?" I turn to look back at him.

"Does this mean you're not sure if you want to be with me?" he asks quietly.

"Be with you how?" I'm taken off guard by his question.

_Is he talking about sex or something else? _

He covers his lap with a blanket and stares down at the fabric, unable to meet my gaze.

"I'd like to date you, Bella," he murmurs.

"I think that would be okay." I smile shyly at him, my cheeks heating.

"Yeah?" he asks with a smile on his face too.

"Yeah." I nod and slowly walk back over to him.

I pull him down to me and kiss his lips softly, one, two, three times before pulling back and smiling again.

Then I make my way back across the hall to the guest suite to get ready for the day, feeling somewhat exhausted.

I chide myself for being so careless, but on the same note — I know that it was only a matter of time before Edward and I slept together. I can't deny the butterflies that erupt in my stomach at the mere thought of being close to him.

In the back of my mind I wonder if I should ask Doctor Cullen for a Tetanus shot — after the shenanigans that took place in Emmett's room earlier.

You know what they say, better safe than sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> I know, I know, I'm an epic fail as far as updating on a regular schedule goes. I hope you stick with me because I'm really trying to build up steam on this and Hourglass. Hopefully I'll be able to get a few chapters ahead and actually update regularily. *Crosses fingers*

xxoo,

Missy


	17. Chapter 17: Bottle It Up

**"A man's true secrets are more secret to himself than they are to others."****  
><strong>_**- Paul Valery**_  
><strong>. . . . . . .<strong>

**"Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us."****  
><strong>_**- Elbert Hubbard**_

* * *

><p><strong>Started as a flicker meant to be a flame<br>Skin has gotten thicker but it burns the same  
>Still a baby in a cradle got to take my first fall<br>Baby's getting next to nowhere with her back  
>Against the wall<br>**  
><em><strong>- Bottle It Up, by: Sara Bareilles<br>**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17:<strong>  
><em><strong>Bottle It Up<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

I take my time as I shower and dress for the day in the Cullen's guest bedroom and bathroom. I'm purposely moving at a slow pace, because I know the longer I take, the more time I have before I face Edward again.

Now that I've had a few moments of privacy, I'm clinging to them like a lifeline.

I've never had a boyfriend before, so I've never been in such an awkward situation as I am now. I just "sort of" spontaneously lost my virginity to a boy I've been dating less than twenty-four hours, and who was also practically my sworn enemy when I woke up yesterday morning.

_What the fuck is happening? _

I tear my brush through my hair forcefully as I replay the past twelve hours in my head. My body burns as I recall the memory of Edward's lips and hands on my body. I wince a little, recalling the unexpected pain of his accidental thrust inside of me.

_How in the hell do girls enjoy that? _

It felt like I was being torn in half. I'm not exactly familiar with the male anatomy, but I'm pretty sure Edward is very well endowed. I mean, he's not like a tree trunk or a baseball bat or anything, but the dude is definitely packing.

_He's probably too big to ever fit comfortably inside of me. _

That thought makes my mood dampen, and my anxiety spikes to an all-time high.

_How am I supposed to keep him if I'm unable to even sleep with him? _

My heart sinks, and I blink back tears. I take a deep breath and start packing up my stuff to go home.

"Fuck," I whisper to myself as I catch my fingernail on the corner of my duffel bag, tearing my nail and causing it to bleed.

It hurts, but it's not excruciating. Unfortunately, it's just enough to send my tipsy emotions tumbling down, and I give in to the sobs as they choke my throat. I quickly close myself in the bathroom and cry as I search for a Band-Aid.

I hear a soft knock at the door and panic. I'm terrified that Edward is going to take one look at my face and know exactly what I'm thinking.

I know we haven't known each other long, but I feel like he can read me better than most people. He picks up on my vibes and usually knows how I'm going to react to something before I even consider how I should.

I will feel terrible if he finds out that I'm already doubting our future and our relationship isn't even a day old.

"Who is it?" I ask softly, trying to keep the strained emotion out of my voice.

"It's Rose. Open up," she replies and jiggles the locked door handle.

"Okay, give me a sec. I tore my nail, and I'm looking for a bandage."

"Let me in. I'll help you get one."

I do as she says and she quickly makes her way inside, locking the door behind her.

"Bella, what's the matter?" she asks as soon as she sees my face.

"Nothing. My nail just hurts," I reply quickly, lifting my wounded finger up for her to see.

"I smell bullshit. You have a lot higher pain tolerance than to cry over a shitty busted nail. Spill, Swan," she says impatiently as she digs a Band-Aid out of the medicine cabinet.

"Edward and I are sort of…dating now," I say after a minute.

"I knew it! Wait, why are you crying, babe? I thought you wanted to be with him." Her excitement turns to confusion, and she wraps my finger and tosses the bandage wrappers away.

"I do want to be with him. I'm not crying because of that. I just… How is it going to work, Rosalie? We're going back to school tomorrow. Is he even going to want to be seen with me? Or will this be some secret we keep from people? I mean, I know he said he wants to be exclusive and he doesn't want us to date other people, but that doesn't mean he wants people to know that he's with me. How will people react? And what if… I mean… Edward is experienced. He's used to girls with experience. What if I… Rosalie, what if I suck?" I finish my rant and turn my tearful gaze back to her.

"Bella, honey." Rosalie kneels down in front of me so we're eye level and fixes me with her beautiful blue stare.

"I love you to death," she continues "but sometimes, you are really fucking dense."

I close my eyes tightly and tilt my head back, lightly bumping it against the door.

She decides it's time to finish her rant. "Edward cares about you. Like really cares about you. If he didn't, he wouldn't be 'in a relationship' with you. I mean, shit, update your Facebook, link your shit, because this is legit. He truly cares about you, Bella. And I've never known him to give two shits about anyone who wasn't related to him or me and Jasper. So, kudos, baby girl. Now, wipe those beautiful brown eyes and tell me what is actually fucking bothering you," she demands.

I growl softly and bite my bottom lip as I try to figure out how to explain the most humiliating insecurity I have.

_I mean, really, how the hell do you explain to one of your best friends that you're unsure if your boyfriend's cock is going to fit into your pussy? And that you're terrified — if your karma really and truly is complete shit — that if it doesn't fit, he could potentially end up fucking around on you. _

"I can't explain it," I answer instead.

"Well, what do you mean by 'what if I suck?'" she asks. Fuck her and her super fantastic memory.

I gulp and decide to gracefully bite the bullet. "Well, he's…more experienced."

"Your point?" she replies saucily.

"Well, there was a slight…incident." I can feel the heat in my cheeks, and her face moves a little closer to mine. She's probably trying to figure out if I'm telling her that we had sex.

"Did he try to have sex with you last night, Bella? I swear to God if he tried to take advantage of you," Rosalie fumes as she prepares to stand back up.

"No! No, nothing like that, I mean, we did not have sex last night." I'm quick to fix my mistake in letting her believe we had sex last night.

_Poor Edward just about lost his balls. Rose looked like she was about to tear them clean off. _

I sigh in frustration and move closer so I can talk more quietly.

"We were fooling around this morning, after he carried me out of Emmett's room, and well, he bobbed and I weaved, and he sort of…accidentally ended up inside of me." I wince as I prepare for her verbal assault…and maybe even a physical one.

I peek one eye open to look at her. She doesn't look mad. She looks dumbfounded.

"How the fuck does that happen?" she asks loudly.

My hand claps over her mouth, and I shush her nervously. "Hush, Rosalie! Damn it, I don't think the entire house heard you yet."

"Sorry, continue," she mumbles against my hand and then licks it.

"Gross!" I wipe my hand on my pants and slap her forehead, accidentally knocking her from her crouched position to her butt.

"Ouch! I think I cracked my ass crack, B. Don't think you're done talking, c'mon, spill," Rose says.

"You've been spending way too much time with Emmett, Rosalie," I reply.

She doesn't reply. She isn't going to let me out of telling her the story so I roll my eyes and explain about Edward and me fooling around and our little mishap.

To her credit, she is listening to me really well, and I'm surprised when I hear the sincerity in her voice as she tells me that she's sure everything is fine and that I shouldn't worry so much about it. She tells me to take everything a step at a time.

"Okay, I know I need to take it slow. Thank you for the wonderful advice, Dr. Phil, but what happens if, when we do get around to having sex…it doesn't work?" I voice my concern and wait for her response with bated breath.

"It will work. You have the parts, he has the parts. Put them together, _proceed with caution_, and _Voila_. Sex." She chuckles softly.

"No, Rose. I mean…_what if he doesn't fit_?" I cringe at how bad that must sound.

"_Dude is_ _huge_," I add as an afterthought and feel my cheeks bloom with heat again.

She ugly laughs and clamps her hand down across her mouth as she tries to contain her chuckles. Once she can breathe again, she shakes her head and wipes the tears from her eyes.

"It must be a Cullen thing, because Emmett is, too," she replies.

"Fuck! Ew, Rosalie! I did _not_ need to know that." My nose crinkles up at that thought, but then my mind drifts off to Pretty Daddy Cullen, and I find my happy place.

"You're thinking about Carlisle's junk right now, aren't you?" Rose quirks a brow at me and nods her head encouragingly.

I gasp and wheeze in laughter as a dreamy smile crawls across her face.

"Daddy C is…" I trail off, trying to think of a good description.

"_Delicious_," Rose adds with a firm nod.

"Exactly!"

We laugh and the heavy mood has officially left the room.

**. . . . . . .**

Alice eventually comes to find us, and we all trek downstairs for breakfast. Emmett and Jasper have a heated game of Checkers going on at the table, so I plop down at the breakfast bar as Rose and Alice start throwing stuff together to cook.

"Want me to do anything?" I ask after a few moments of watching them bustle around the kitchen.

"Nah, you're fine, B. Wait, how about you stir this for me while I put the eggs on the stove." Rose hands me the batter for the French toast and I start stirring it.

"Do you guys ever put any cinnamon or nutmeg in this?" I ask as I continue to stir.

"We usually forget about the cinnamon. The boys always want to eat right away, but I've never tried nutmeg. Is it good?" Alice asks as she prepares the bread slices.

I shrug. "No clue. Saw it on Food Network once."

We decide to add some nutmeg and see how it tastes. They dish out a plate for Jasper and Emmett as Edward walks into the kitchen and occupies the stool next to me.

I've been sitting here with my head laying on my arms for about ten minutes, faking sleep, so Emmett and Jasper will stop asking me to play checkers against them. I don't see Edward take the seat next to me, but I feel him.

If I had any doubts about who it is next to me, they all fly out the window when Rosalie opens her mouth. "Look, Edward, you wore poor Bella out!"

_Just keep pretending to sleep, _I tell myself as the whole room goes silent, and Edward coughs and sputters beside me.

I make a mental note to slash Rosalie's tires if I live through this mortification.

"What makes you say that, Rosalie?" Edward asks after he can breathe again.

"Eh, you know, girl talk," she replies nonchalantly as I hear her scrape the metal spatula against the frying pan.

My face feels flushed, but I'm hoping it helps me pull off my façade as I continue to slouch on my barstool with my head on the counter.

"Oh really?" he replies, and I can almost feel his stare burning a hole in my face.

"Yup. Oh, Bella, you can wake up now," she responds to him and then calls out to me in a singsong voice.

I play it up, pretending to do the big stretch with my eyes closed, and then slowly pull myself upwards.

I glance over at him and then back to Rosalie and Alice quickly, acting like I'm still dazed from falling asleep.

"By the way, Bella, my ass still hurts from our little rendezvous in the bathroom this morning," Rosalie teases.

"The bathroom? You guys went at each other again? Damn it!" Emmett whines with a full mouth.

"What am I missing?" Alice asks, confused.

We haven't had time to fill her in on the recent developments.

"Tell ya later," I reply quickly and make sure to keep my eyes off of Edward.

I hear Emmett and Jasper's forks scratching against their plates as they cut their food, so I assume conversation is done.

I reach out and take a drink of my orange juice, savoring the tangy flavor as it bites at my tongue.

"Fuck! This sausage is _delicious_," Emmett gushes as he chews.

"_That's_ what _she_ said," Edward replies automatically with a slight chuckle at his own joke, unaware of the joke Rose and I shared in the bathroom earlier.

Rose and I lock eyes, and I feel so close to blowing the juice out my nose as I try not to laugh with the juice in my mouth.

I manage to swallow most of it, but I snort slightly from all of the pressure, and I can feel some of it in my nasal cavity. I turn away from Edward and cup my hand over my face and nose as Alice rushes over to me with a towel.

My eyes water from the burn in my nose, and I finally manage to get the juice to go down my throat. I cough a bit, trying to clear my airway and bust out into uncontrollable laughter.

"Fuck, Rosalie, are you trying to kill me?!" I ask between hiccupped giggles.

She smiles devilishly as she sets my plate in front of me and replies, "Not before you've had your sausage."

This time Edward is the one who chokes and sputters, trying to keep his eggs from going down the wrong tube.

"That'd be a shame." Rose shakes her head and walks back to the stove, obviously trying to keep her laughter at bay.

Just to goad her further I say, "Eh. I'm not a big fan of protein in the morning."

"You're saying that now, B, but you wait. One of these days you and Edward will play hide the sausage, and you'll be singing a different tune. We Cullen men, we're packing." Emmett puffs his chest out, prouder than a peacock, no pun intended.

Edward's fork clanks down on his plate, and I literally have to hold myself back from slamming my face down on my plate.

_Oh my Gosh! Could this get any worse?_

Rosalie cackles loudly and has to set the spatula down as she bends over, holding her stomach through her spastic chuckles.

"Will _somebody_ please tell me what the hell is going on?" Alice asks as she stares back and forth between Rose and me.

"I have to pee!" I shout and jump down from my stool as I quickly escape to the safety of the bathroom.

I check my face and makeup in the mirror, and when I feel like it's probably safe to go back out to the kitchen, I unlock the door to find Edward on the other side.

"We have _got_ to stop meeting like this!" I say, exasperated.

"You didn't flush," his response.

"I didn't pee?" I half ask, half reply.

"I didn't think so," he says before he lifts me up and sets me down on the sink and kicks the bathroom door shut.

"What are you doing?" I ask, slightly worried about what is going to happen next.

"You told Rose what happened?" he asks, instead of replying to me.

I decide not to even try getting out of it.

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry, but I was kind of upset, and she saw me and wanted to know what was wrong…so I spilled the beans." I look down and sigh heavily.

"Hey, I'm not mad. I just didn't know you had told anyone yet. I feel really bad about it. That's not how I pictured our first day together panning out. I wish it would have been better for you." He soothes me as he lifts my chin and encourages me to look at him.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," he says sincerely.

"It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself." I look him in the eyes.

"I still feel bad, Bella," he replies softly.

"It happens." I shrug.

"God, you'll probably never let me touch you again." He winces and looks away dejectedly.

"Do you think it'll work?" I ask.

"Do I think what will?" Edward asks.

"Us. I mean… This is going to sound dumb. I thought you were going to rip me in half," I say quietly, waiting for him to start laughing at any moment.

"We'll take it slow," he assures me as he gently cups my face.

"Yeah?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes," he says with certainty and leans down to kiss me.

I moan softly against his lips and pull him closer to me, only to jump back when we hear a loud banging against the door.

"Get to fucking, you two! I've got a bet to cash in!" Emmett hollers from the other side of the door and pounds his fist against it one more time before making his way down the hallway.

Edward's angry scowl amuses me for some odd reason, and I find myself shaking in silent laughter.

"What? It's not funny!" he seethes, angrier than ever.

"Pfft, and they say chivalry is dead!" I wheeze out, and we both start laughing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh look! An update! Not a gazillion years after the last one. Woohoo! Sorry, back to biznass. Thank you for sticking through this. We've got a long ways to go yet, and I've been just a writing this and Hourglass. So, hopefully I can get some type of schedule worked out. No promises, but *hopefully* the next update will be even quicker than this one.**

**xxoo,**

_**- Missy **_


	18. Chapter 18: One More Night

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twi-related or the lyrics to OMN for that matter. I do, however, own this mildly crazy but still semi-functional plot, and I do not give permission for it to be duplicated, translated, or anything else. **

**Thankya kindly. :)**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 18:<em> **  
><strong>One More Night<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Bella POV-<strong>_

The rest of my weekend passes by in a blur. I ended up getting a ride home from Alice and Rosalie on Sunday afternoon, and I helped Charlie make an early dinner before the Seahawks game.

When I say that I helped Charlie make dinner, I really mean, _I_ made dinner. Charlie stirred the canned tomato soup as it cooked on the stove. To his defense, I didn't make anything too fancy either, just baked ham and cheese sandwiches.

I debated telling him about Edward, but at the last minute, I decided against it. I really didn't think it was anything Charlie _needed_ to know, especially not so soon. I mean, what if things between Edward and me fizzle out early? Charlie would be all worked up for nothing. Plus, I know that as soon as the word "boyfriend" gets brought up, he'll probably start sleeping outside my bedroom door with a shotgun.

He's protective like that.

At least, I think he would be.

In the end, I decided not to bring it up, and I turned in early to do homework and get my things ready for school the next day.

Halfway through my assigned reading, I fell asleep.

That is why I'm now running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I was just awakened by Charlie's loud banging on my door, and him telling me that if I wasn't ready for school he wouldn't be able to give me a ride this morning.

_Fuck my life._

"Go on without me! I'll find a ride!" I yell as I hastily grab my clothes and search for my phone among the pile of blankets and pillows scattered across my bed.

He hesitates before answering. "You sure?" he asks cautiously.

"Yes! I forgot to set my alarm. Go. It's fine," I call back.

"Alright. Rocky is fed and watered. I took him out to the kennel already, so he should be set. Have a good day, Bells."

A minute passes, and then I hear him closing the front door behind him.

I finally locate my cell and send a quick text to Alice.

**Can you pick me up today? Slept late.**

I grab my clothes and phone and head into the bathroom. I use the toilet and brush my teeth as my shower heats up; just as I'm about to step in, my phone chirps.

**Sure! We have Emmett's Jeep today. Edward doesn't feel like driving. See you in 20 min. ;)**

I roll my eyes at her overenthusiastic reply and set my phone down on the counter.

I'm only in the shower for about eight minutes before I tear myself from the comforting warmth and plunge myself back into the frigid air of my bathroom.

If the bathroom wasn't so big, it wouldn't be so freaking cold in here!

And now I'm the only teenager in the world who is complaining about having too _large_ of a bathroom. Great. Something else to set me apart from the rest.

I quickly and roughly dry myself with a starchy towel and make a mental note to _never_ let Charlie touch the laundry again.

Sliding into a pair of snug jeans that show off my butt, I curse when I realize that I've forgotten my panties in my bedroom. A quick glance at my phone tells me that I have less than two minutes before Alice and crew are supposed to arrive, so I forgo running back to grab them. This way I won't have panty lines anyway.

As soon as my pants are zipped and buttoned, I throw on my black front-clasping bra and a black button-up shirt. I don't have time for fancy. I'm pretty sure Alice is going to raise some hell about me pairing blue and black together, but I couldn't care less.

I snatch my hoodie off my desk chair and my book bag off the bed as I dash out of my bedroom.

Suddenly, I hear a relentless banging on the front door coupled with incessant ringing of my doorbell.

In reply, I holler, "Emmett! Quit, or I'll kick your ass!"

I unlock the door and turn around to slip my feet into my Converse as the door swings open.

"Christ, I said I was coming. What the hell was up with all that banging?" I mutter as I bend down to tie my laces.

I feel a strong hand palm my ass, and I yelp as I whirl around to slap a bitch.

"Edward! You scared the shit out of me!" I swat Edward's arm as he stares down at me.

"I'm sorry, but you were bent over and…it took everything in my power not to drop down to my knees and pull you against me." Edward's voice is husky, and his eyes are burning with lust.

"Don't look at me like that," I plead before I slip my hoodie on and grab my keys to lock the door.

"Why?" He swallows thickly, and I clench my thighs awkwardly as I try to usher him out the door.

"Because I forgot to wear panties, and you're going to give me a wet spot on my jeans if you keep looking at me like that!" I shout before thinking and instantly take a step back from Edward like I've been burned.

A second passes before he slams the front door closed and picks me up, setting me down on his lap as he sits on the couch.

"Tell me _how_ I look at you," he commands huskily as he nips at my neck and pulls my hips against his forcefully.

"Like you want to…eat me or something," I mumble, dazed, and I toss my head back as he pulls me tighter against him.

"Fucking hoodie," he grunts as he thrusts upward against me and yanks the front of my hoodie down to nip at my collarbone.

"Edward, we have to stop. The others are waiting, and we need to go to school."

"Fuck school, fuck the others, and fuck all of these fucking clothes," he hisses as he starts to undo my pants.

"Edward, _seriously_." My voice trembles, and I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust. My nipples are aching because they're so hard, and I want nothing more than to keep doing this, but I know we need to go.

"Tell me to stop, Bella," he says and thrusts up against me. He's hitting just the right spot, and I feel like I'm going to pass out. Even through my jeans, he feels so fucking good.

"_Fuck_," I gasp and grind into him, gripping his shoulders for leverage.

He works his hand inside my partially undone pants and just as his fingers caress my slick heat, we hear a loud bang against the door.

"You two had better not be naked, because I'm coming in there in five seconds whether you're ready or not!" Emmett bellows from the other side of the door.

"_Son of a bitch_," Edward growls and pulls his hand from my jeans. I quickly fasten them up and hop off of his lap.

Emmett makes good on his promise and throws the door open with a big shit-eating grin.

"Hope I didn't interrupt anything," he says insincerely.

"Fuck you both," I grit out and grab my stuff as I quickly head for the door. I don't know why I'm so angry, but I've never been so fucking turned on in my life—and so unable to do a fucking thing about it.

I should just call it a day and go have a date with my detachable shower head, but I won't.

Don't judge me. If you had just been quasi-fingered by Edward Cullen, you'd want a play session, too.

"Lock the door," I order before I step outside into the chilly air and make my way down to Emmett's jeep.

"Good morning!" Alice chirps from her place in the back seat.

"What's so damn good about it?" I grumble as I attempt to crawl into the monstrosity that is the Jeep.

"The _fuck?_ I'm going to need a damn rope ladder to get into this son of a bitch!" I growl and try to scramble up.

"Need some help?" I hear Edward behind me and stiffen involuntarily.

I turn around to see him and Emmett grinning at me, and I immediately point at Emmett.

"_You_. You can help me, _You_ on the other hand," I say as I point to Edward, "are _not_ touching me for the duration of our ride to school."

"_What_? Why the fuck not?" Edward barks.

"Because, I swear to God, if you touch me one more time and it's even semi-inappropriate, I'm going to _explode_. There'll be this massive volcanic orgasm, people will die, buildings will implode, and I don't think I'll live through it. My Goddamned ovaries probably look like robin's eggs right now, and I cannot think with you standing five feet away from me. So keep your damn distance…or I'll be forced to hit you in the junk," I say with force.

"Bella, c'mon," Edward starts and takes a step toward me.

"Did I stutter, Cullen?!" I ask exasperatedly as I take a step back.

"No," he says, properly chastised, and shoves his hands into his pockets as he gives me a slight glare.

"Oh, and I call shot gun," I say as I look at Emmett expectantly and wait for him to help me into the jeep.

"I called it at the house," Edward pouts.

"Tough titty, says the kitty, but the milk tastes good," I say dismissively after Emmett sets me in the jeep carefully.

Emmett and Alice both crack up laughing at that, and the heated look in Edward's glare makes me clench my thighs again.

I'm going to have thighs of steel before this damn day is over.

The ride to school is uneventful. Edward sits in the back with Alice, and Alice talks everyone's ears off. We meet Rose and Jasper at school, and Emmett completely leaves me hanging when we pull up. Instead of helping me out of the Jeep, he rushes around the front of it to Rose and sweeps her up in one hell of a kiss.

I just chuckle and call him a dirty rat bastard, knowing he left me on purpose to deal with Edward...

...who just happens to be giving me the hairy eyeball from the backseat.

I open my door and swing my legs out, letting them dangle over the seat as I watch people walk by. I'm almost desperate enough to leap out on top of someone just so Edward won't have to lift me from the vehicle.

I notice Mike Newton walking toward the school, and from where he's parked he'll end up walking right past my side of the jeep. Just as I'm about to call out to him, Edward jumps out of the car and stands directly in front of me.

"Oh, really?" I snark and flick the back of his head just to piss him off.

"I'd kick your ass before I'd let Newton touch you," he says roughly.

"It's not like I was going to ask him to feel me up or anything. I just wanted help getting out of the car. And you can't touch me without molesting me," I reply honestly.

"Does it bother you?" He turns around and looks at me curiously.

"Not usually." I shrug and meet his gaze.

Just as he takes a step toward me, we hear Newton approach us.

"Hey, guys. How's it going, Bella?" Mike says to us, mainly addressing me, much to Edward's chagrin.

"We're fine," Edward answers for us and stands between my legs, which are still hanging off the seat.

Really? Why don't you just piss on my leg while you're at it?

"So, Bella… What are your plans for Winter Carnival? Do you have a date yet?" Mike asks, completely ignoring Edward standing there.

"Uh…winter what?" I ask dumbly, completely caught off guard.

"We have plans," Edward interjects before Mike can explain.

"_Really_? Are you two a thing now?" Mike asks surprised.

"A thing?" I repeat.

"Together? Exclusive?" Mike elaborates.

"Yes." Edward's voice is loud and clear, and it makes me grin stupidly at him, even though he looks absolutely livid with Mike for even having to ask.

"Wow. Never thought I'd see the day when Edward Cullen settled down. Congrats, guys," he says awkwardly and gives us a small wave as he heads toward the school again. "Gotta get to class. See ya later."

"See ya," I say distractedly.

I lock eyes with Edward, and I feel my blush creeping up. The heat quickly flares across my chest and up to my face.

"No going back now," I tease him, but I don't break eye contact.

"Who said anything about going back?" he asks seriously as he steps even closer, so his stomach is pressed between my legs.

"Nobody," I whisper and clutch his shirt as he grips my hip with one hand and my neck with the other.

"I want the whole fucking world to know you're mine," he says in such a violent, beautiful way. I tremble slightly and feel myself itching to be closer to him.

The air surrounding us is crackling, and it feels like one of the sparks between us could ignite at any second and we'll both go up in flames.

How can our attraction already be so strong?

Edward pulls me from the Jeep and holds me against him. I don't have any choice but to wrap my legs around him.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I try not to grind shamelessly against him.

I can feel his cock pressing against me, just below where I want it, and it's driving me insane.

"I _was_ helping you out of the car, but _now_…" He trails off as his grip tightens on me, and the hand that was cradling my neck shoves my door closed and yanks the back door open again.

He steps onto the sidebar of the Jeep with me still wrapped around him, and he climbs in.

Slamming the door closed behind us, he lays me down on the seat and crawls on top of me.

I should object. I should tell him to stop and that we need to go to class, but I can't—I don't—I won't. I need this just as much as he does. I want this—him—_so_ fucking bad.

"I don't want to hurt you," he grits out as he pulls my legs up over his hips and thrusts against me.

I can do nothing other than moan loudly and scratch and pull at him.

If I could climb inside him right now, I would.

"Don't stop," I plead as he grips the seat above my head for leverage and slams himself against me.

The friction of our pants rubbing against each other is driving me nuts, and I find that I'm not alone in my frustration as he reaches down to unfasten both of our jeans.

"Wasn't planning on it," he grunts against my neck as he bites and sucks on it. He practically tears my pants off me in his haste and quickly shoves his own down as well, leaving our top halves clothed and him still in his boxers.

Our pants are now on the floor of the Jeep, and Edward is thrusting his boxer-clad erection against me with fervor.

I should be cautious, or at least aware that I'm half naked in the middle of Forks Area High School parking lot, with Edward Cullen, in his brother's Jeep, rutting around like wild animals.

But I've never conformed to the norm. Why would I start now?

_"More!"_ I beg as I press my heels into his hips, trying to pull him closer.

"If I thrust any harder, I'm afraid I'll impale you," he grits out against my neck as he keeps pushing against me.

"Shirt. Off," I demand unintelligibly as I grapple with his clothing.

"Bella, we shouldn't…we shouldn't do this here." His voice is strained, and I'm about to lose my Goddamned mind.

If he makes me go through the entire day horny and aching, I may have to kill him.

I huff and scrub my hands over my face, thoroughly annoyed. I feel like I've got the worst case of blue ovaries in the entire world.

"Fine." I sit up and try pushing him away so I can locate my pants.

The sting of his rejection is biting me in the ass, and I don't want to tear up in front of him like a big baby, so I avoid his eyes.

"Wait," he says as he tries to coax me to look at him.

"What?" I say flatly and don't look up.

"You're mad," he says more than asks.

"No." I sigh and slump back against the seat.

"I want you, Bella. You have to know how much I want you…" His voice trails off, and it does nothing to soothe my burned ego.

"Funny way of showing it," I retort and wait for him to lift himself off of me.

"You think I don't want this?" He emphasizes his _point _by pressing himself against me again.

"I think I want you so bad I'm about to fucking scream, and here you are—being all gallant and…honestly? It's a wasted effort. I want you, and every time we get close, you back off. I feel like I'm going to explode or spontaneously combust," I growl at him, finally meeting his gaze with a glare.

"I don't want to have our first _intentional_ time in Emmett's Jeep. I'm trying to do right by you, damn it. And you're making it really fucking hard. It's taking everything in my power not to whip out my cock and _fuck_ you right here, right now," he hisses.

My eyes droop with lust and I bite my lip, trying to curb my moan.

"I want you so much, I can taste it," he says as he squeezes my hips and nips at my lips.

"Then take me," I return and lean up to deepen the kiss.

I feel pressure against my shoulder, and the moment I realize he's gently putting distance between us is the moment I'm about to kick him in the balls.

"Now what?" I huff and successfully shove him off of me.

I've already got my legs halfway through my pants before I think to look up at Edward. I almost wish I hadn't.

His gaze is smoldering, and his cock is standing tall and proud underneath the tent of his boxers, and I just want it inside of me badly. No rhyme or reason. Just pure friction.

I'm insanely jealous that lots of other girls have had the opportunity to ride the Edward Cullen train, and he's suddenly being all gentlemanly and cordial with me. Protecting my virtue and shit. Fuck that. It's mine to give, and if he doesn't want it…well, fuck him.

"What are you thinking?" he asks after a moment.

My reply is clipped. "_Nothing_."

"Bullshit. Your eyes just went blank, and you've got your walls up again. What the _fuck_ are you thinking?"

He tries to make me look at him, but I pull away and stuff my ass into my jeans.

"I think I'm frustrated. Sexually fucking frustrated. I'll get over it," I reply as I finish fastening my jeans.

I lean forward to the front seat and snag my bag as Edward slips into his jeans.

"Hurry up; we're late," I chide and wait for him to slip his shoes back on.

"We've already missed most of first period. Might as well skip it," he says with a chuckle.

"I need to go to my locker and shit, so…" I wait for him to help me out of the Jeep.

Just when I think he couldn't be more dense, he decides to cock an attitude. "Are you pouting?"

_Douchebag._

"No? I need to get my shit. Can you please help me out of here so I won't miss anymore of my classes?"

"You weren't too worried about it a couple of minutes ago." He points out.

_Thank you, Captain Obvious._

_That's because I thought you were about to be balls deep in my no no's—making me see God and speak in Latin—you ungodly douche-monster._

I decide to take the mature route.

"I got caught up in the moment. We're obviously not ready for that, so we should go before we get in trouble."

"You're right. I'm sorry for being a dick," he replies sheepishly.

I don't make eye contact. I check the time on my phone and realize we have less than ten minutes to get to our next class.

"It's okay, but we really need to go. There's less than five minutes left of first period," I reply monotonously.

"Wanna ditch? I could get the keys from Emmett, and we could go back to your house," he suggests like it's the best idea in the world.

_He's like a fucking yo-yo. One second he's all over me, then he doesn't want to continue, and then he wants to get me alone?_

_What the fuck?_

I look up at him and reply evenly, "Not really. I missed a lot of class with the accident, I don't think I should purposely miss anymore."

His face falls and his eyes look a little sad when I mention the accident, but I can't help it. I _did_ miss a lot of school, and I am still trying to catch up on my assignments. He knows I'm not lying because he has almost every class with me.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Let's go," he replies sullenly and lifts me from the Jeep.

"Thanks," I say with a forced smile as he hands me my backpack.

As we make our way toward the school, he turns to me and asks, "We're okay, right?" His voice is so unsure, and it makes me feel really guilty. We shouldn't be starting our first school day as a new couple like this.

My steps falter, and I look up into his jade-green eyes.

I blow out a big breath and explain, "Of course we are. This is just a stupid disagreement. We can talk about it later, but don't dwell on it all day. And don't make it out to be something more than it is, okay?"

He nods with a small smile and leans down to kiss me softly. His kiss is sugary sweet and the total opposite of what just went down in the car, but it still makes my toes curl and my heart skip a beat.

I smile at him as I feel the tension float away from me, and we continue our trek toward the building.

* * *

><p><strong>"When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied.<br>But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, 'Oh yes - I already have everything that I really need.'"**  
><em><strong>- Dalai Lama<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>"You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war<strong>  
><strong>You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door<strong>  
><strong>You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keeping score<strong>  
><strong>You and I get sick, yeah, I know that we can't do this no more<strong>

**Yeah, but baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you**  
><strong>Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go<strong>  
><strong>Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo<strong>  
><strong>And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you<strong>

**So I cross my heart and I hope to die**  
><strong>That I'll only stay with you one more night<strong>  
><strong>And I know I said it a million times<strong>  
><strong>But I'll only stay with you one more night<strong>

**Try to tell you "no" but my body keeps on telling you "yes"**  
><strong>Try to tell you to "stop", but your lipstick got me so out of breath<strong>  
><strong>I'll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself<strong>  
><strong>And I'll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell"<strong>

_**- One More Night, by: Maroon 5**_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's note: Sorry for the delay, real life and all of that. I'll try to be more frequent now that the Holidays are settling down. I hope you all had an amazing New Year! <em>**

**Tootles, Kittens.**

**xxoo,**

**Missy**


	19. Chapter 19: Only Prettier

**A quick re-cap - and a reading of the rights. lol **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twi-related. Just this plot and my characters'**** weird ass attitudes. **

**Also - I do NOT give permission for anyone to do any of their magical translating voodoo or for anyone to copy any of this story. Unless you're quoting or something, lol - but you get what I'm saying. **

**And please, for the love of all that is Good and Holy - do NOT read this if you're under 18 years of age. This is rated M for a reason, and if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes you should not be reading this shiz. Please? 'Kay, thanks. **

**Let's get this show on the road! **

* * *

><p><strong>"If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared."<strong>  
><em><strong>- <strong>__**Niccolo **__**Machiavelli**_

**. . . . . . .**

**"Everybody says you gotta know your enemies  
>Even if they only weigh a hundred pounds and stand five foot three<br>If you just smile and behave you could always get your way  
>It's a universal plan that'll get you where you can in all societies<strong>

**So let's shake hands and reach across those party lines**  
><strong>You got your friends just like I got mine<strong>  
><strong>We might think a little differently<strong>  
><strong>But we got a lot in common you will see<strong>  
><strong>We're just like you, only prettier"<strong>

_**-**__**Only Prettier, by: Miranda Lambert**_

**.** **. . . . .**

_**Little Miss**_

_**. . . . . . .**_

_**Chapter 19:**_

**Only Prettier**

**. . . . . . .**

**-**_**Edward**__**POV-**_

_I am a fucking idiot. _

I'm sitting here, all insecure like a little pussy, pushing my girl away and then pulling her back and…I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

One second I'm about to eat her alive, the next I'm pushing her away because I feel guilty, like I'll corrupt her or something. And then I turn into a jealous douchebag over fuckwads like Mike Newton, and I practically piss on her leg—marking my territory.

Even though she said we were fine, I can tell she's mad at me. I can see it in the way she barely makes eye contact and in her clipped replies.

It probably didn't help things when Jessica Stanley suddenly decided to try and jump all over my cock as soon as we walked to our second-period class.

Mike obviously spilled the beans about Bella and me being in a relationship, and I've never seen Bella so angry—yet deathly quiet—in the entire time I've known her.

She looks absolutely lethal.

If this were any other skank vying for attention, it'd be different. Bella is new to being…_involved_ with the opposite sex, and sometimes a little jealousy can be healthy in a relationship. Exhibit A would be when we were in the parking lot and I got a little grope session because I went all caveman after our run in with Newton.

Now Bella is feeling a little taste, and something tells me she doesn't like it. I truly feel bad for her because if this were anyone else, she probably wouldn't be coming up with a million different ways to kill Stanley and bury her body. She'd just be a little irritated, but because it is Jessica Stanley—and because Jessica can't stop being such a bitch to Bella,—it just makes the entire situation worse.

I can literally see the fire in Bella's eyes and smoke billowing from her ears. I think her hair might be curling and uncurling right now.

I've never seen her so angry, so furious, and so, so fucking sexy.

Have I mentioned that she's really, really fucking mad?

To try to tame the flame, I've been overly affectionate with Bella. Touching her without reason, sitting closer than needed, carrying her books to class…you name it, I've been doing it.

Much to my dismay, the more I follow Bella around like a lost puppy, the more Jessica chases me.

It'd be comical if my balls weren't in jeopardy.

It's now lunch time, and I've been fluctuating between half-mast and shriveled up in fear all fucking day. I finally find a little relief as I sit down at our table beside Emmett and Jasper. Bella and the girls decided to hit up the restrooms before getting their trays, and I haven't seen them since.

I haven't heard any shots fired or any loud mobs yelling, "Fight, fight, fight!" so I figure that's a good sign. Jessica and Lauren are seated two tables away and seem to be deep in conversation; I thank my lucky stars that Jessica has decided to cool it and leave me alone. For now.

After taking a large bite out of my double cheeseburger, I crack open my Coke and take a swig to wash it down. When I look up, I end up doing a spit-take and cough violently as the carbonated beverage shoots out of my nose and goes down my air pipe at the same time.

Emmett and Jasper both quickly lean away and look at me like I've lost my damn mind. Jasper is shouting, "Lift up your arms, lift up your arms!" While Emmett slams his meaty paw against my back repeatedly.

By now, my eyes are watering and my throat is full of gunk. I'm repeatedly trying to clear it while I motion for the guys to look at the sight directly across the room from us. Confusion dances across their faces for a minute before they lock eyes on our girls, who have just grabbed their lunch and are now stalking toward us.

Somewhere between the bathroom and here, Bella must have decided to shuck her sweatshirt and change up her outfit a bit. Her black shirt is unbuttoned, revealing a white t-shirt that I know she was not wearing this morning. Across the white t-shirt in big black words it says, _LEAVE THE BOY ALONE_. Unlike this morning, she now has makeup on; her eyes look darker, and her hair is untamed and flowing around her face as she walks toward us.

Unlike Alice and Rose, Bella isn't carrying a tray, just a bottle of water and an apple. Emmett slides down a chair, and Bella sits in his spot. She's cool as a cucumber with a cute little smirk on her face, but she won't make eye contact with me.

She and Rose seem to be having a silent conversation, and if the pointed look Rose is shooting at her means anything, the girls are definitely on a mission.

I'm both terrified and extremely intrigued.

My curiosity wins out, and I drag Bella's chair toward mine until there's no space between us.

"Nice shirt," I say as I drape my arm around her shoulders and attempt to eat with my left hand.

"Thanks. Just something Alice had lying around," she replies innocently as she plucks a fry off of my plate and drags it through the ketchup before she pops it into her mouth.

I've never been jealous of a French fry…_until now._

_Fuck. _

I'm so mesmerized by her mouth and the way her lips move while she chews that I don't even notice Jessica and Lauren standing on my other side.

_Shit. _

"Hey Eddie," Lauren drawls nasally.

"Now what?" I ask rudely.

"No need to be a sour puss, Eddie-kins. We were just wondering if you had plans for Winter Carnival?" Jessica drones on.

"I'm not sure if I'm going yet or not," I reply without much thought. Bella and I really haven't talked about it—other than when Newton asked her.

I feel Bella's posture stiffen under my arm, and I realize a little too late that I've answered wrong.

_Man I wish I could read her mind. I am so fucking bad at this whole boyfriend gig. _

"We could keep you company," Jessica offers, trying to be seductive.

Bella's shoulders start to shake, and I can feel the anger rolling off of her in waves. I look to the other four people seated at our table like a deer in headlights, hoping for a little insight as to what I'm supposed to fucking do, but no one seems to be willing to rescue me.

I open my mouth to reply when I'm cut off by a voice across the table.

"I don't think so," is Rose's clipped reply.

"I'm sorry, what?" Lauren says bitchily.

"I said, I don't think so." Rose sits up a little straighter and levels them with an icy glare.

"What? Are you dating both of the Cullen brothers now?" Jessica mocks, and then Lauren cuts in.

"Cut it out, Jess, you know Eddie doesn't date," Lauren simpers as she stands even closer to me. Now I can smell her cheap perfume, and I feel her brush against my side.

"Oh, but he does. I guess he was just waiting for the right girl all along," Alice taunts as she smiles pointedly at Bella.

"_Right._ C'mon, Eddie, it'll be fun. Just like old times," Jessica purrs, and I can feel the fight leave Bella as she leans away from me.

"No. Jessica, Lauren, why don't you guys knock it off already? I'm with Bella now—exclusively—and I'd appreciate it if you would stay away from me, my family, and our friends—_especially_ my girlfriend." I try to muster my most menacing tone, but I'm really focused on Bella and her reaction to Jessica's goading.

"You can't be serious!" Lauren snaps snidely.

"What could you possibly see in _her_?!" Jessica demands.

"Everything," I bite back and quickly shove my chair back a little so I can pull Bella onto my lap. She's completely taken off guard, and to be honest, so am I. The need to touch her is too strong, and before she can say anything, I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her.

I pour everything I'm not ready to say into the kiss. This isn't about proving anything to other people; it's about proving it to each other. It's about reassuring Bella that I want her—and only her. I don't need quick fucks in the back of my car or blowjobs underneath the bleachers at the home football games.

I just need this.

I need her.

If you had asked me a few months ago—before Bella blew in and completely flipped my world upside down—I would've been skeptical and probably told you to go fuck yourself. But what I'm feeling now is real. I truly and legitimately care about someone other than my family and close friends. I am giving Bella the power to completely destroy me, while having faith in her not to.

I'm not going to go into a whole spiel and say that I've fallen in love with Bella, because I don't know what it's like to be in love. I do know that I care about her more than I've ever cared for another girl that I've been attracted to before.

I also know that I fucking hate it when people are nasty to her and treat her like she's a freak. She's not a freak. She's stubborn, and sometimes obnoxious, and just…really fucking beautiful.

So when push comes to shove, and those stupid bitches ask me what I could possibly see in Bella—I don't even have to think about it. The answer will probably always be the same.

"Everything," I murmur against her lips and grin at the radiant smile that is shining back at me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know! I updated pretty quick this time. I just wanted to thank everyone for sticking by me with this. I'm trying to get into a regular update routine. Hopefully, I'll be able to update at least every 3 weeks. That's two weeks to write, and a week for edits. **  
><strong>I'd like to give a shout-out to my crazy-amazing Beta's, I lovingly refer to them as "The Tiffany's" lol. Love you gals, you're the best! <strong>**See you soon. **

**Tootles Kittens!**

_**xxoo,**_

_**Missy**_


	20. Chapter 20: Home

**Disclaimer:**** I own zero rights to the Twilight franchise, unless you count the books, an overpriced key-chain, posters, soundtracks, and the movies. ;)**

**Rating: M for Mature - 18+**

* * *

><p>"<strong>The very essence of romance is uncertainty."<br>**_**― Oscar Wilde**_

**. . . . . . .**

**"Settle down, it'll all be clear  
>Don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear<br>Now trouble, it might drag you down  
>If you get lost — you can always be found<br>Just know you're not alone  
>'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home"<strong>

_**— Home, by: Phillip Phillips**_

**. . . . . . . **

**Little Miss**

**. . . . . . . **

_**Chapter 20:  
>Home<strong>_

**. . . . . . . .**

_**-Bella POV- **_

I've been floating on cloud nine for the past two weeks. Being in a relationship with Edward has been surprisingly easy after our "coming out" in the cafeteria that day. Technically, we came out before school to Mike Newton, but Edward finally faced down the harem of skanks at lunch and told them what was up.

Ever since, we've just been taking things at a slower pace and enjoying our time together. We don't spend every single waking second together, and he hasn't been a creepy stalker, we're just really…_chill_. We haven't had a lot of alone time to pursue the physical aspects of being together, but I wouldn't say that it was negatively impacting our relationship.

We're taking the time to get to know one another. Playing silly quiet games of 20 Questions at lunch and passing notes back and forth during the classes we share. We talk on the phone for a little while on the nights we don't see each other, and last weekend we took a trip to Port Angeles with the others to go dress shopping for Winter Carnival.

Apparently, Alice thinks it's _imperative_ that we all go together.

I think it's ridiculous. And luckily, Edward agrees with me, so while Alice and Rosalie tried on dresses, we snuck away to grab a hot chocolate from a small café down the street and then walked down to the pier.

The view was absolutely breathtaking, and I remember the warm blush that coated my cheeks as Edward said that _I_ was breathtaking, not the water.

_Swoon. _

Unfortunately, the universe either hates me or Alice has some super sixth sense for ruining amazing moments, because my phone startled us out of our stupor, and I almost spilt my hot chocolate down the front of me in my haste to answer my phone.

She was practically seething that we skipped out on the dress shopping, but Edward handled her.

He told her that he and I didn't want to go to the stupid dance, and that he had other plans for us. He also threatened her closet, which I am learning is a very brutal form of punishment that Alice takes very seriously.

I personally think it's a healthy dose of payback, hilarity, and awesome all rolled into one.

That brings us to today. It's Friday, and the entire school is buzzing about the dance tomorrow night. Well, everyone except Edward and I. I don't mind, though, whatever he has planned he's keeping it a secret. I'm not sure whether I should be nervous or excited; I guess I'm a combination of both.

Lunchtime is approaching and my stomach growls loudly, reminding me that I forgot to grab anything to eat this morning for breakfast. Typically I just grab a pop-tart or something, and I guess eating nothing was pissing my stomach off royally.

If I were alone—the growling tummy would've been kind of funny—but I'm sitting in an unusually quiet art class. Normally, Mrs. Weber has the oldies turned on while we do our art projects. She's out sick today, and our sub is too lazy to clean up after us, so she informs us that we have a free study period instead.

It kind of pisses me off, because art is the one period that I feel like I can completely let go and be myself. I don't really give a shit what anyone else thinks about my work, and as of a couple of weeks ago—Jessica Stanley has kept her filthy trap shut so it's been rather peaceful.

Alice and Rose are in this class, but they like to do their own thing, too. We usually just sit in amicable and productive silence as we work on whatever project we're assigned.

Before my stomach decided to wail, I had been absentmindedly doodling on my vocabulary notebook.

When I look around to gauge the damage and see if anyone heard the beast that is trying to be unleashed, I blush as I notice a couple of people hiding their smiles and looking in my direction.

Mortified, I drop my face into my hands and groan in embarrassment.

"Dude, did you fart?" Rosalie so eloquently asks.

"No, bitch. My stomach fucking growled. I think I'm hungry enough to start eating my notebook." I groan again and lay my face down on the desk.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." I sigh and close my eyes.

"You're such a pansy," Rose shoots back.

Alice softly pats my back and asks, "You gonna be okay?"

"I think so. I was late this morning, and I forgot all about breakfast, so now my stomach is ready to eat itself."

"You shouldn't skip meals like that, Bella. You could get really sick," Alice admonishes gently and keeps her hand on my back to comfort me.

"I know that, _Mom_, it isn't like it was intentional." I sass her a little but she knows I'm messing with her…sort of.

_I get a little grouchy when I'm hungry. So sue me. _

The bell rings a little later and after making a quick stop at my locker and at the bathrooms to wash my hands—yes, I am a full fan of cleanliness—I quickly make my way to the commons to eat.

Forks calls the cafeteria "The Commons"; I guess those weird assholes are rubbing off on me. In Phoenix we always called it "The Caf", so I don't know, maybe every school has a different name, who cares? I want food.

Today is nacho day, which is ridiculously delicious, but not terribly filling. I grab a tray, get my loaded nachos, grab a plate with few slices of coffee cake, a cup of applesauce, and some other varied fruit for good measure, and make my way toward our table.

My tray variety and amount rivals Emmett's usual meal intake, but I can't be bothered with that.

I sit so I'm facing the wall as I begin to inhale my nachos. I'm not making obnoxious smacking noises or anything, and my face isn't covered in meat or cheese, but I'm definitely not acting like a dainty little girl. I am packing those fuckers in.

Emmett approaches the table to set his sweatshirt and notebook down and I snarl at him when he tries to steal a piece of my coffee cake.

"Beat it! This is my food, fucker," I bitch and stab at his hand with my fork.

He yelps in protest and is staring at me with a mixture of fear and awe on his face.

"What?" I grumble after swallowing a bite of coffee cake. "I skipped breakfast this morning, and I'm fucking starving."

I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself, but I do.

Jasper snickers at us as he sits down with his loaded tray on the other side of the table. Emmett seems to be stunned into silence. After a few moments of gaping, he quickly turns to get into the lunch line.

"You're fucking lucky, you know that?" Jasper starts up conversation with me and I pause my chewing to give him a confused look.

After swallowing I ask, "Why is that?"

"You don't have to go to the stupid ass dance this weekend, that's why. Alice insists that we all go, and I can already tell that it's gonna be boring as hell," he groans as he shovels a huge bite of food into his mouth.

Not really knowing how to respond, I shrug and say, "Sucks to be you." Grinning, I continue to eat, this time at a much slower pace.

The girls show up a minute before Emmett and Edward make their way to the table. Most of my food is gone already, and I'm slowly milking my Sprite as I curse myself for eating so fast.

While eyeing me warily, Emmett fills the table in on my food-hoarding situation and they all crack up at me. I duck my head as I feel my face heat and Edward rubs my back as he chuckles at me.

_Thanks for making me feel like a sow, Emmett…fucker. _

**. . . . . . .**

The rest of the day passes in a blur.

During the ride home, I can't help but smirk at Edward's anxious-excited ticks. He's fidgeting with his fingers, and his knee is bouncing up and down rapidly. He also avoids eye contact. I can tell whatever he has planned for us for tomorrow has him on eggshells, and I'm praying it's a good surprise.

Although, I've never been a fan of surprises.

Sometimes they can be good. Edward has definitely been a surprise, something I never saw coming, but I can't regret caring about him. I don't know where time will take us, but he's become very important to me.

We pull into my driveway and I note that Dad is home. I sigh heavily, knowing I should really introduce Edward as my boyfriend soon. However, my self-preservation instinct coupled with my will for Edward to survive his junior year, causes me to chicken out at the last second.

I lean over for a quick, chaste kiss, praying that Dad is nowhere near the front of the house, and promise to call him after dinner to finalize our plans for tomorrow.

"I know we've got our date and everything tomorrow, but, would you maybe wanna hang out a little tonight, too?" he asks, sounding slightly unsure of himself.

I smile at him and nod in agreement. "Sure. I'd love that."

With an answering smile and a small wave, I'm out of his car and making my way toward my front door.

Even when we're home, we typically keep the door locked, so I'm just about to use my key when the front door flies open, and I see my father giving me an unreadable expression. Him opening the door like that scared the shit out of me. He's never done that before. Normally, he's perched on the couch or trying to burn the house down by microwaving tinfoil covered leftovers when I get home.

I stutter through a greeting as my heart tries to return to its normal rhythm. "Oh, hey, Dad. You're home early," I say brightly, still praying he didn't see Edward drop me off.

His mustache twitches infinitesimally and a mischievous grin spreads across his face as he steps back, allowing me to enter the house.

_Fuck._

_Nothing good can come from a Charlie Swan grin and a mustache twitch. _

"Whatcha want for supper?" I ask, still trying to feel him out. I toss my book bag on the floor in the coat closet and toss my jacket on top of it. As I make my way toward the kitchen, I can feel his eyes on the back of my head the entire way.

"I don't know, what sounds good to you? Maybe you could invite your boyfriend over and introduce me." I hear the grin in his voice and my stomach drops out my ass as he says the word boyfriend.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

"Boyfriend?" I squeak guiltily.

"Or do you always kiss your friends goodbye?" he asks sounding wary, dropping the teasing tone his voice was laced with just moments ago.

I quickly spin around to face him, flustered, and deciding to come clean, mainly to assuage his fears. "N-no! Absolutely not! Edward and I are…_exclusive_." I choke on the last word, having a hard time talking about my love life with my dad.

"It's just…new. So, I didn't want to add any unneeded pressure, ya know? You have nothing to worry about," I assure, trying to dig myself out of this hole.

"You've been spending a lot of time over at the Cullen's, doing your therapy and having sleepovers with Alice, it all hasn't been some rouse so you could shack up with that boy, has it?" My dad has been replaced with the Chief of Police, and if I didn't know him so well, I might actually be a little terrified.

Okay, so I am a little terrified. He carries a gun. I prefer my boyfriend alive.

"No. My friendship with Alice is very real. And Emmett has been working me like a dog. When I stay over at their house, I have my own room and everything."

I have never been more thankful that he can't read my mind, because I added _"right across the hall from Edward's in a secluded part of the house" _in my head.

I don't break eye contact with him, and I refuse to back down or show weakness. The slightest twitch or erratic blink will make him think I'm lying to him, when in reality, I'm not.

Alice is one of my very best friends, and I truly enjoy spending time with her. Emmett does still make me do therapy, we've even moved on from hydrotherapy to ridiculous stretches and yoga-like poses, and some weight and resistance training.

And lastly, I pretty much do have a room all to myself. Esme even bought me some clothes to keep there in the oversized dresser. I couldn't even fill the damn thing if I combined the clothes she bought me with the clothes I have here _and_ in Phoenix.

I appreciate her hospitality, and tried to convince her not to, but Esme and Alice are one in the same—once they're in a store and set their minds to something, there is no stopping them.

I went in the mall with fifty dollars and left the mall with three pairs of jeans (Capri's), five shirts, two new swimsuits, a handful of pajamas, two bra and panties sets, a robe, a pair of high heels, a pair of house slippers, a new purse, a pack of socks, a hat, and _thirty_-_five_ bucks.

They didn't let me purchase a damn thing, except for my hat, and that was because I snuck into _Spencer's_ to buy it—Alice would've had a conniption if she would've seen me buy it.

I know this, because she _did_ have a conniption when she saw it on the way home.

She even threatened to burn it.

I wanted to buy something nice for Edward, just because, but I was a little intimidated after I watched Alice and Esme go all out.

Esme continued on about how I'd have comfortable clothes when I visited, and how she couldn't wait to see me in the new clothes.

I've never felt more like a _My Size Barbie_ in my entire life.

I snap out of my reverie just in time to hear the beginning of Dad's tirade.

"Well, alright then. I know you're getting older, and that you're going to do what you want to do, regardless of what I say…but I expect you to respect me. And I expect you to be safe," he says in a no nonsense tone, belying the embarrassed pink flush that's spreading across his face.

"Dad," I interrupt him. "Dad, it's not what you think it is. You don't have anything to worry about…"

Now it's his turn to interrupt me. "Bullshit, Bella. I was your age once, and I know what it's like to be young and think you're invincible. To think nothing can touch you, well you're wrong."

I feel a little bit of anger welling up inside of me. I'm mad that he's admonishing me like I don't know the first thing about how fickle life can be. Yes, teen pregnancy is not favored, and I know that me coming along made things a million times harder on my parents than it should've been, but I am not them. I know about choices and consequences.

Jacob's death aged me. I know that there are no guarantees in life, and I know that having a baby, especially at my age and with my limitations would be stupid and reckless.

I want to scream at him that I am not a child, but it would just make me look more immature. I want to tell him that I'm not like him and Mom, but how do I say it without it being a slap in the face? Both to them and myself.

"Yes. I know that I am not invincible, Dad. I know that with every choice, there is a consequence. I think you should cut me some slack. I do not need the birds and the bees talk from you; Mom covered that when I turned thirteen. She also put me on birth control, and I've never missed a dose.

"Before you go and get all worked up; no, she did not put me on it because I was having sex. She put me on it to regulate my period, and I am a virgin." I pause to let that little morsel sink in, and to swallow some of my mortification.

"So stop freaking out about Edward and me having sex, because we _haven't_. And when we do—_if_ we do—it'll be safe. I have absolutely no desire to join the cast of _Teen Mom_ anytime soon—or ever, for that matter.

"I know you worry about me, and I appreciate it. It's nice to know that you care, Dad, but you need to calm down. All of this stress isn't good for you. And honestly? Why would I want a kid when I have you, Rocky, and Mom to worry about all of the time? I've got my hands full as it is," I say, trying to lighten the mood.

He takes a few minutes to process what I've just told him, and we stand there in an uncomfortable face off.

Before he can reply, another part of our previous conversation catches up to me.

"And introduce you? Dad, cut the crap. You _know_ Edward. And you know he isn't a bad guy," I say, imploring him to remember Edward's role in the accident, and how he is probably the only reason I'm standing here today.

I know that my dad has a tremendous amount of respect for Doctor Cullen and his wife, and I also know that he adores Alice; actually, he adores both Alice and Rosalie. He's always been wary of the boys, simply because they're boys and he's protective.

When I step out of the situation and really think about it, I'm a damn lucky girl. Between my dad and my new friends, I'm surrounded by some of the most loyal people on the planet, and I don't think I could be more loved.

I see the moment the anger and accusations fade from Charlie—Dad's demeanor and his face becomes somber. He pulls out the closest chair to him from the breakfast nook and slumps down into it.

"You're right, Bells. I'm sorry. I trust you, and I shouldn't have ranted at you like that. You know your mother and I love you, we just want the best for you. Sometimes that means I get a little outta line and overprotective. I overstepped a little, I guess." He sounds defeated and it makes my eyes prickle with unshed tears.

"No, you didn't. You're my father, it's your job to overstep and push my boundaries, but it's also your job to trust me unless I give you a reason not to. And I don't plan on doing that. I won't always be perfect, but I know my limitations, and I know that you worry.

"We're still new at this whole situation. Up until this year you didn't have to live in a house with a teenage girl, and Renee—Mom is a bit more of a free spirit, so I've never really needed to answer to anyone. We'll figure it out as we go, but if you promise to trust me, I promise to do my best to never give you a reason not to."

He nods and scrubs a hand over his face. I smile and walk up to pat him on the shoulder, but he pulls me into a firm hug instead.

"I love ya, kiddo. Sorry about picking a fight," he says as he releases me and playfully messes up my hair.

"Love you, too, pops. Don't worry about it. You're just keeping things interesting." We chuckle a little at that.

"So, what brought all of this on?" I ask after I sit down in a chair diagonal to him.

He seemed to be amused when he caught me coming in the house, but when we broached the sex topic he completely flew off the handle. He doesn't normally get upset over something unless he's been stewing on it for a while.

"Well, it started this afternoon with that Mrs. Stanley." He starts, and I can't hold back my scoff.

_Of course it did. _

"She came into the diner today when I was having lunch and told me she was worried about you. She said that 'her Jessica' told her that you've been running around with that 'Cullen boy', the one who allegedly 'ripped her poor Jessica's heart out and is only ever after one thing'.

"I told her that you guys were just friends, and that I trust my daughter, but she wouldn't relent. Kept going on about how he's left a trail of broken hearts from here to La Push, and probably all the way from Seattle when they moved here.

"I told her not to talk about things she knows nothing about, and then we had some words. It wasn't pretty, but I'm not sharing the nitty gritty details with you either. Just stay away from that God-awful Stanley girl and try not to attract any unwanted attention, okay? Those Stanley ladies are nothing but trouble."

"Ladies my ass," I sneer, wishing I could box Jessica and her mom's heads together.

"Now, there's no need for _you_ to get all worked up about this. _I_ was worked up enough for the both of us. Sorry I took it out on you, kid. I shoulda just asked you. For now on, if something changes in your life; relationship status, GPA, I don't care what it is, just…don't keep your old man in the dark, okay?"

I nod, my anger fades back into sadness and I get misty-eyed all over again.

"Okay," I reply shakily and wipe at my eyes before they can leak any unwanted tears.

"We okay now?" he asks hesitantly.

"Of course." I give him a small smile.

I turn toward the rest of the kitchen and take a deep breath before I get off the chair.

"You never said what you wanted for supper." I remind him.

"I don't know, we got a bunch of hamburger in the fridge that needs to be fried up, though," he offers, and I go over to the cupboards to inspect our supplies.

"I'll need to go grocery shopping this weekend. We don't have much for staples in the house. Are you and Billy still going up to the lodge to ice fish this weekend?" I ask and turn toward him.

"Yeah, we're taking some of the kids from the rez, too. Seth Clearwater and some of the other boys asked if they could come along. So we're taking Billy's van and staying until Monday morning.

I don't like the idea of you being all alone here, though," he adds as an afterthought, and I can tell he's thinking about canceling.

"Dad! I'll be fine, I'm sure I can find someone to stay with me if I get bored, and I've got Rocky here to protect me." We both glance in Rocky's direction, he's laying belly-up on the couch and turns his head toward us when he hears his name.

_Look fierce, buddy, we don't want 'Grampa' to cancel his trip. _

"I have no doubt that you can find someone to stay with ya, and I am sure you'll be protected, but that _don't_ make it any easier to leave," he quips.

"Dad!" I chastise. I'm unsure if he knows how bad that sounded, and I'm also getting tired of this topic resurfacing every five minutes.

"Look, we're out of crackers so meatloaf is out, it's too cold to cook on the grill, you hate tacos, so it looks like I'm making spaghetti. Now will you please drop the other subject? _Please?_" I added a second please to emphasize my point, praying that he stops hovering and poking fun at my nonexistent sex life.

"Sorry, you just left that one wide open. Listen, why don't you invite your boyfriend over for dinner? I'd like to scare the shit out of him a little bit before I leave you all alone in this big house for the weekend."

"Dad, that's not funny."

"I'm not laughing," he returns without missing a beat.

_Fuck my life. _

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>_** Thank you for reading! Sorry for the delay. No excuses. I'm trying to get better at this. **_

**xxoo,**

**Missy**


End file.
